Abby

I didn’t want Colin to know that I was still in town. That I was just at my apartment, lying in bed, and thinking. He would’ve been over here in a heartbeat, unable to keep his lack of control from controlling him.

His personality was pretty ironic sometimes.

I needed to call my mom. I’d had a couple of days to think on things, and everything inside of me wanted to leave. To stop this insane engagement in its tracks and just try being an employee for a little while. I took out my phone and turned over in bed, dialing my mother’s number before I held the phone to my ear.

And the moment she picked up I started crying.

“Abby? Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Is that Abby?” I heard my father say.

“I think she’s crying,” my mother said.

“Mom?” I asked.

“Honey, I’m gonna put you on speaker.”

“Okay—”

“Hey there, sweetie. Can you hear me?” my father asked.

“Hey, Daddy,” I said, sniffling.

“What’s got my honey-bear all torn up?” he asked.

“I’m so confused,” I said.

“About what?” my mother asked.

“About L.A. About Colin. About this job and everything that’s—happened.”

I sobbed into the phone as my parents fell silent on the other end.

“Sweetheart, what happened?” my father asked.

I told them the entire story. About how Colin hired a private investigator to look into me and how he found the lawsuit. About how Derek just turned up on my doorstep and proclaimed some idiotic love to me. How Colin paid Derek off and lied right to my face about it. I cried through the entire story, pulling the covers over my head as my unpacked boxes haunted me from the corner of the room. I told them about the car Colin was using to shuttle me to and from work and how I couldn’t even experience the city without being inundated with phone calls from him. I told them how trapped and betrayed I felt, and how part of me just wanted to just pack up, call this shit off, and come home.

“I could kill that Derek boy,” my father said.

“Not helpful,” my mother said. “Listen, Abby. How Colin went about this was all wrong. Understand that we’re with you on that. And Derek? He’s a piece of shit.”

“Mom,” I said, giggling.

“Way to go, honey,” my father said.

“But, setting all that aside, Colin was trying to protect you the only way he knew how,” she said.

“What?” I asked.

“He should have spoken to you about what he found before trying to fix things, but he was protecting you. Like a future husband should,” my father said.

“So you’re okay with the fact that he just paid Derek off,” I said.

“I’m not okay with the fact that he kept you in the dark,” my mother said. “Secrets destroy foundations. But something tells me you haven’t been forthcoming with him on how you’re feeling.”

“We talked a couple days ago,” I said. “I—told him some things.”

“Some things, but not all of those things?” my father said.

“I thought you were on my side with this,” I said.

“We are. But, you’re not completely innocent in all this either,” my mother said. “It takes two people to make something like this work, but it also takes two people to break it.”

“Your mother is right, honey. This is a reason to have a serious talk with Colin. To iron out your first fight, learn from it, and then grow as a couple. But, this isn’t a reason to leave him. Because if you think this is hard, just wait until the two of you have a child and are only getting four hours sleep a night. Then it gets hard.”

“And honey, it doesn’t stop being hard. Ever,” my mother said. “A relationship takes work. Marriage, is not the end. It’s just another chapter that has to be written. And writing that chapter takes effort.”

“So, what should I do?” I asked, sniffling.

“You should talk with him, Abby. Candidly. Tell him how it’s all making you feel, even if it doesn’t make complete sense to you. It could change things for your future together, and strengthen you as a couple,” my mother said.

I closed my eyes and allowed their wisdom to sink in before I heard my father’s voice.

“Honey?”

“Yeah?”

“Get off the phone and call him. Sit down with the man. He loves you. I saw it in his eyes when he proposed. And Derek? It sounds like he tried to come back into your life at an opportune moment to try and get more from you. And when he couldn’t, he decided to destroy your happiness whatever he could to hurt you. He’s an abuser, honey. Don’t let him win. Don’t let him take Colin from you.”

“Okay, Daddy. I won’t,” I said.

“Good. Now, get off here and give him a call,” he said.

“Okay. I love you guys.”

“We love you, too. Let us know how it goes,” my mother said.

“Will do.”

I hung up the phone and sighed. I rolled onto my back and flipped the covers off the top of my head. If I called Colin, all bets were off. If I called Colin and asked him to talk, he would know I was in town. He wouldn’t stop until he knew how to fix this, and I had to be prepared to be bombarded.

So, I took a deep breath, picked up my phone, and dialed his number.

It hadn’t rang even once before he answered.

“Abby?” he asked.

“Hey there,” I said.

“Are you okay? Is everything all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine, Colin. I’m at my apartment.”

“You’re back in town already?”

“I never left.”

I let that sink in for a second before I continued.

“Could we talk?” I asked.

“Anywhere, anytime. You name it and I’ll be right there next to you.”

His statement created a grin across my cheeks as my skin flushed.

“Pizza? At my place?” I asked. “Say—an hour or so?”

“I’ll pick it up on the way,” he said.

I rolled out of bed and took a quick shower. I thought about dressing up, but what I really wanted was to be comfortable. I pulled a pair of sweatpants from my suitcase and dug around for a sweater, then went to grab us some drinks. By the time I was done moving boxes out of the way and clearing off the couch, Colin was knocking on my door with a large pizza in his hand.

“Delivery,” he said, as I answered the door.

He looked incredible. His tie was loosened and the top button of his shirt was undone. His coat was slung over his arm and he carried the pizza in his other hand.

If I wasn’t so upset with him I would have pulled him in for a kiss right then and there.

“I cleared off the couch,” I said.

“You haven’t unpacked yet?” he asked.

“Been a little busy,” I said.

“You tell that boss of yours to quit working you so hard.”

We sat down on the couch, the pizza box between our bodies. I handed him a soda and as he took it, our fingers brushed against one another. The electricity that shot up my arm caused me to jump, and I covered up my flushing skin with the massive slice of pizza I brought up to my lips.

I could tell that Colin was anxious to talk, but he was waiting until I started the conversation.

“You can start, if you want,” I said.

“What I did was wrong,” he said. “And how I went about everything was not okay. I should’ve come to you and told you what I wanted to do. The plan I had rolling around in my head. And instead, I went behind your back and it spiraled out of control. The more I tried to control it, the worse it got. I’m sorry, Abby.”

“I am curious about one thing. Why did you hire the P.I. in the first place?” I asked. “What was the point of digging into my past?”

“If you had skeletons in your closet that the media could find, I wanted to have stories crafted for them. To spin them quickly and automatically. I saw how flustered and sad you became when the media pounced on you at the conference, and I wanted to keep that from happening again. But the ‘I love you’ speech only works once.”

“Colin,” I said, as I reached for his hand. “Why the hell didn’t you just tell me that?”

He turned his hand up and cradled mine as he sighed and closed his eyes.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I guess—I’m just so used to handling everything on my own. I’ve never had to run things by anyone else. If something had to get done quickly, I just did it.”

“That’s not how it works in a relationship,” I said.

“Well, I’m learning that now, I guess,” he said. “The hard way. And what I said on the phone, I never should have let my anger control me like that. Next time, I’m going to be upfront and honest with you about what’s going on.”

“Thank you,” I said. “It’s a start.”

“Now, it’s your turn. Talk to me, please.”

“I haven’t, and that’s where I need to apologize. I’m mad at you for lying and keeping secrets, but I’ve been doing the same.”

“What’s going on, Abby?” he asked. “Do you not love me anymore?”

“That isn’t even the question,” I said. “I have somehow fallen in love with a total stranger.”

I watched his face morph into something akin to understanding, and that was a little shocking to me.

“I take it you finally saw my side?” I asked.

“Some things have been—brought to my attention. I may or may not have invited Ted out for drinks last night to pick his brain for advice.”

“I’m gonna kill Maggie,” I said, groaning.

“It was all good, don’t worry. If it helps, they’re on your side,” he said.

“We’re like strangers in the night, Colin. Two people who bonded over fabulous sex and a mutual frustration for weather patterns. But if someone were to ask me where you enjoy vacationing the most, or what you do in your spare time, I’ve got no answer for them. Because I don’t know any of this stuff about you.”

“Then we need to take the time to find out. Over dinner, or maybe we should take a vacation ourselves. I could take you to my favorite spot and tell you how it earned the title,” he said.

“I’m scared, Colin,” I said. “That’s really what this boils down to. I’ve uprooted my life. I’m in a city I don’t know. I’m engaged to a stranger who happens to be my boss, for a new job with certain complications. I’m twenty eight hours from home. It’s, I—”

Colin moved the pizza from between us and scooted closer to me. He wrapped me up in his arms and pulled me into a kiss. My heart fluttered in my chest as his hand cupped my cheek. I could feel the heat pulsing between us, covering our bodies in a warmth that soothed my soul. I melted into him. Into the way his tongue stroked my mouth. Into the way his hand slowly ran its way through my hair.

I loved the way he touched me, but we couldn’t bond on physicality alone.

“I’m scared that we’ve made a mistake,” I said, breathlessly.

“Did that feel like a mistake?” he asked.

“It takes more than sexual chemistry to make this work though, Colin,” I said.

“I’m willing to work on the other stuff. I really am. No matter how much work it takes.”

“It’s not just other stuff, Colin. It’s me. You don’t know me and I don’t know you.”

“Then give me time to get to know you, Abby. Give me time to learn how to spoil you. Give me time to walk you around the city myself instead of shuttling you in that car,” he said.

My fear was grabbing me tighter than Colin ever could. His kiss was wonderful, but it didn’t stop my mind from racing. I could hear Colin talking, but I couldn’t discern what he was saying. My entire body was being coated in fear, and I could feel myself trembling against him.

“I just wanted to talk with you. To be more candid with you. I can’t tell you why I’m so scared, why I’m so fearful. But I am, and right now I don’t know how to fix it.”

Colin withdrew, physically moving himself away from me as a look of defeat crossed his features.

“I can’t lose you, Abby,” he said.

“I’m not asking you to let me go. I’m just asking you to give me space. Especially now that you know why I’m asking for it.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “I can do that.”

He stood up from the couch and part of me didn’t want him to go. He weaved around boxes that were still packed, much to my embarrassment, and I chased him all the way to the door. I grabbed for his hand, my heart thinking before my mind could kick into gear.

Then I slowly dropped his hand once the voices in my head began to speak to me.

“Abby, look at me.”

I slowly lifted my eyes towards his, taking in the icy blue stare of this cold, rigid man.

“Sometimes, our brains can talk us out of the best things in our lives. When I started my company, it wasn’t from my mind. It was from my heart. I threw my whole life into it. I learned the trade, inside and out. I did it all that because I loved it, Abby. I still do. If you want any sort of proof as to what I can be if you drop your fear and let me in, then just look at Murphy, Inc. It’s grown and it works the way it does because every step I’ve taken in my business I’ve done out of love for it.”

I felt tears crest my eyes as his lips brushed against my cheek.

“Enjoy your pizza, Abby. I hope to speak with you soon.”

Then I watched as he walked down the hallway, hands in his pockets and his strong shoulders slumped. He wasn’t even trying to hide his disappointment. He wasn’t trying to hide his defeat.

He was trying to be candid with me. To show me he could keep his promises.