The weekend passes in a blur of reality television, some more packing, and a bit of apartment hunting online. I’ve lined up two places to look at this week, both cheap, and both combined probably wouldn’t house all the stuff I have. I’m going to have to sell some of it anyway but doing so feels like I’m giving away another part of who I was before this whole mess began. Letting more of me go, in any shape or form, makes me wonder what will be left. Or if what remains is enough.
Head held high, I walk into the coffee shop Monday morning for the first time in almost a month, not caring if I see Jared. I’ve survived this much, so I’ll survive whatever else he throws at me.
“Hello, woman who owns my heart.”
Okay, maybe not that. Eyes widening, I spin around to see him leaning by the doorway. A few onlookers give us curious glances that quickly turn into smiles when he stalks over to where I’m standing in the line. “Would you mind not feeding me your cheesy verbal garbage in public places?”
That has scowls and looks of outrage thrown my way. “Oh, please,” I mutter at them.
Jared just laughs as if it’s perfectly okay to be shut down in front of seven, maybe eight people. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he winks at the few seated near and standing close to us. “She loves me; it’s written all over her face.” He points to my face, and I narrow my eyes at his finger, shoving his arm off my shoulders. “She’s just a little bit grumpy until she gets her morning coffee.” They all start laughing as if we’re playing around.
Let them; I don’t really care. “Hey, you’re back. What was it now, hmm …” Jenna taps her chin, and Tori, the one who doesn’t like me, sidles up next to her. “A latte. That’s L-A-T-T—”
“Okay, you can spell. Congratulations. Now how about that latte?”
Jenna coughs to hide her laugh while Tori shoots her annoyance straight at me via narrowed eyes. I move aside and wait for it with my arms crossed over my chest. Jared orders his then stands right next to me. “So, have a good time Friday night?”
I twist my lips, humming. “I’ll say. I met this guy who took me home and rode me hard all—”
He steps in front of me, placing the palm of his hand over my mouth. “Don’t.” His brow twitches, and I try not to smile at his show of irritation. “Not funny, and if that ever happens, it’ll be me who’s riding you hard, and you know it.” He removes his hand, and I flip him off before grabbing my coffee and storming out of there as quickly as I can.
“Yes, I’m calling to let you know that the check I was waiting on has cleared. Do you accept credit card installments or do I need to write a check out to the hospital?”
“Oh, um, this is for Graham Rodgers, you said?” I hear papers shuffling on the receptionist’s end of the line. “Because we’ve received payment already, I think. Hang on let me just … oh, yes. Here it is. Paid in full as of last week. It says here we tried to call you to let you know.”
I stare down at the counter then start blinking like there’s dust in my eyes. “I’m sorry, what?”
“It’s been paid.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I mutter, “That’s impossible. By who?”
“Hmmm, I’m not really at liberty to discuss such details, but seeing as you seem to all be family, I think it’s okay. It was paid by Oliver Bramston.”
No. Fucking. Way. “My father?”
She clears her throat. “Ah, you’d be the better judge of that than I would. But that’s what it says here.”
“Okay.” I nod my head to no one and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Thanks, bye.” I hang up, and before I can think better of it, I dial the demon himself. Something I thought I’d never do again. But I need to see what the hell he’s playing at now.
It only rings four times before he answers. “Vera, I’ll call you back. I’m in the middle—”
“No, you hang up now, and you won’t hear from me again. You’ll talk to me now or never.”
I lean against the counter. My hip digs into the old wood, but I hardly feel it.
He says something to someone then the sound of a door closing reaches my ears. “Okay, you’ve got my attention, but there’s no need to be so fucking dramatic. I raised you better than that.”
God, same old same. “Yeah, there kind of is, considering you practically disowned me for not staying with my ex-boyfriend, threatened my new one, oh, and then you slapped me in the face.”
He doesn’t say anything for a while. I start to think he’s hung up on me, but then he sighs heavily. “Sorry is a stupid word that doesn’t make up for anything. But I am sorry. I never should’ve laid a hand on you. But that guy, you deserve better than a—”
Swallowing hard, I try to keep my wits about me, and stop him right there. “Why did you pay for Graham’s hospital bills?”
“You found out about that, did you?” He continues when I don’t answer the obvious question. “Because I know how much he means to you, and despite what you may think, I don’t want to drive you away. I’ve only ever wanted the opposite. I just have a shit way of showing it.”
Dumbfounded is one way to put how I’m feeling. Unbelievable. My brain trips over the first part of what he said more than anything else, though. “You knew about me seeing Graham?”
He laughs dryly. “Why do you think you’ve been allowed to see him for all these years?”
“Allowed?”
“Yes. I’ve known about it since you were in your early teens, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop it.”
Jesus. I swipe a hand down my face. “Why didn’t you ever say anything about it?”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I had no idea he was my grandfather,” I retort heatedly.
He sucks in an audible breath. “You didn’t … You mean, he didn’t tell you?”
“No.” I glance over my shoulder when I hear Badger making his way down the rickety staircase at the back of the store. “He was worried if I knew, I’d slip and say something, and then you’d never allow me to see him.”
He ignores my snide tone. “How is he?”
“You really want to know? Or are you just dodging yet another thing you’re at fault for?”
His voice drops an octave in warning. “Vera, I may have made some mistakes in my life, but I’m still your father. You will show me some respect.”
“No, I think I won’t. I’m going now. Oh, and Badger’s fine, by the way. Thanks for paying the bill; I’ll have the money wired to you when your mother’s check clears next month.”
I go to hang up when he practically yells, “Vera!” I put the phone back to my ear. “Please, just … Will you come for dinner one night soon? Dexter knows he’s to leave you alone. I’ve also reinstated access to all your credit cards.”
That explains Dexter’s disappearing act. But … Money. It all comes back around to the same damn thing. I’d be lying if I said my shoulders didn’t deflate with relief, though. “You don’t get it, do you? Your money isn’t important to me. Not anymore. The only reason it was in the first place is because it was all I knew. I know better now. I know more. I’ve experienced more.” I smile at Badger when he arrives at the front counter. “So I don’t want it, and I don’t need it.”
He scoffs loudly. “Surely you can’t be surviving that well without a job and without money, Vera. Don’t be stupid, just come to dinner. I don’t want anything. I just want to see you.”
But after everything that’s happened, I don’t know if I can believe him.
Chewing on my lip, I eye my purse sitting under the counter, where those well-used cards lie in wait. “I have a job. I have enough money to survive, and I’ll let you know about dinner. Bye, Dad.” I hang up before he can respond, dumping my phone on the counter and heaving out a huge gust of breath.
“Your father?” Badger asks with a note of shock in his voice.
“Uh-huh.” Still staring at my purse, I grab it and get my wallet out. Plucking the cards out one by one, I stare at all three of them in my hands. I’m still staring at them when the bell over the door tinkles. Glancing at the wastebasket, I open the drawer in front of me and pull the scissors out. Then I proceed to hack into the hard plastic as best as I can, chopping them in half and then in more halves until my hands start to hurt. Chucking the scissors back in the drawer, I grab the wastebasket and tuck it under the edge of the counter before scooping the remains of my father’s hold on me into the trash. I dump it back on the ground, dusting my hands and turning around to find two sets of eyes on me. One blue and one green.
They both start slow clapping, and I try not to growl. Blowing a piece of hair that’s escaped my ponytail from my face, I huff, “What do you want now?”
Jared points at a tool bag on the counter. “Fixing some shit, need to make sure old Graham here takes it easy.” Badger chuckles. “You okay?” Jared asks.
Shrugging, I move over to the pile of books by the register, pretending to sort through them. “Great, never been better.”
Jared snorts. Right freaking behind me. Man, he’s sneaky. “You’re even more beautiful when you’re mad. Like a fire trying to contain itself,” he whispers into my ear. “In fact, it makes me wanna make you so mad just to see what happens when you explode.” He nips my ear. “All. Over. Me.”
Goose bumps scatter over the skin of my bare neck, racing down my back. I squeeze my thighs together. “Go do what you came here to do, or go away.”
He quickly kisses my cheek, and I give him my best glare. He doesn’t care, just smiles and walks off to the back of the store.
I turn my glare on Badger next, who’s busy trying to look like he’s minding his own business by fiddling with the little Christmas tree at the front window. “You.” I narrow my eyes at him.
He looks around, playing dumb. “Me?”
“Yes, you.” My hands fall to my hips. “Why is he here?”
He walks over to me slowly, almost cautiously. “I called him, wanted to see if he’d have a look at these stairs of ours. They’re older than I am.”
Betrayal blinds my vision. “Why would you do that to me?”
He shrugs and leans against the wall. “Because I love you, and he’s good for you.”
My tense shoulders drop, and I feel more layers of ice melt away from my heart.
“But he … he hurt me, Badger. Badly.”
His blue eyes soften behind his glasses. “I know, dear. But he also made you happy. The happiest I’ve ever seen you.”
I sniff. “I don’t need him. I’m happy on my own.”
Nodding, he says, “You will be. I know you’ll be very happy on your own moving forward. I couldn’t be more proud of your decision to leave your father’s shadow behind. But … love brings a different kind of happiness. And I’d hate to see you live with regrets. Those pesky things can be a terrible burden on the soul.”
Tell me about it. He doesn’t understand, though, and I don’t know how to explain it to him.
“He did something that I don’t know if I can forgive.”
Badger hums, rubbing at his chin. “I’m not trying to make excuses for him. I don’t know what he did. But … just know that we’re all human. It’s in our DNA to make mistakes.” He looks over at the back of the store where the sound of drilling keeps stopping and starting. “We’re always so quick to judge someone from the mistakes they’ve made. When really, we should be judging what they do after they make them instead.” His gaze swings back to me with a pointed look. He straightens. “I’m going to grab a coffee before bingo, want one?”
I shake my head. Not even coffee can help calm the erratic dance of my nerves nor the turning in the pit of my stomach.
He leaves and I stare toward the sound of Jared banging on the stairs. I want to walk over there and have him make me forget all this has happened. I want to feel the touch of his lips on mine. I want to see the way his eyes change with every expression that moves across his face. But I don’t do any of that. I stay right where I am for over an hour, serving the few customers in a distracted daze.
Jared walks back up to the front after lunch with his tool bag in hand. He drops it by the door. “Where’s Graham?” He looks around. “I’m done, fixed some loose shelving, too.”
I keep my bored mask in place, biting the side of my cheek to stop from spewing out how grateful I am. “He’s gone to bingo.”
He raises a brow. “Bingo?”
“Yup. He decided he needs to live a little more before his number is called.”
He chuckles. “Wow. Well, bingo isn’t for the faint of heart.”
I don’t respond. I’d almost forgotten how easy it was to be roped into his orbit, almost forgotten that I hated him for a second there.
A woman walks up to the counter with her daughter. “Hi.” She smiles. “Do you have a new copy of this book?” She holds up a dog-eared edition of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
“Can you not read? You’re in a bookstore, after all. The sign outside says very clearly, new and used. So if there’s no new copies on the shelf, you’re fresh out of luck.” My irritation doesn’t bode well for business. Oh well. People will have to get used to me and my moods. Besides, the man beside me is mostly to blame anyway.
She just blinks at me.
Jared rushes in to say, “You’ll have to excuse her. You see, I recently broke her heart and she’s still a little bitter about it. Want me to see if we can order one in?” He then turns his panicked face to me. “Wait, you can do that, can’t you?”
Scoffing, I relent, “Sorry, he’s ruined my life. Leave your details on the pad there and I’ll order one for you.” I don’t even look at her; I keep my gaze stuck on the nuisance next to me. “Why are you still here?”
“Because you are,” he fires back.
“But I’ve made it clear I don’t want you here.”
He lifts his shoulders. “We both know you do.”
I guffaw. “You’re so full of shit.”
“And you’re too damn beautiful for your own good.”
With my heart slamming against my ribcage, I feel myself slipping again. “This is crazy.”
“I’ll say.” He grins.
“What’s it going to take for you to realize I don’t want this anymore?” As soon as the words slip past my lips, I regret them.
He frowns. “Sometimes, Frost, you don’t get to pick the things you want in life. They have a way of picking you instead. And for whatever reason, you picked me and I picked you. You can fight me the rest of your life as far as I’m concerned. I mean, I’d prefer it be while you’re naked, but I’m not fussy.” He shrugs. “You’ve invaded my heart, and there’s no cutting you out. I’ve got no choice but to wait, so I will, for as long as it takes.”
My pulse screams through every part of my body. My shocked, liquefying body.
Someone clears their throat, and I turn to see that the woman and her daughter are long gone and that Badger has returned.
Jared steps closer to me and places a soft kiss on my head. “I’ll see you soon, beauty.”
As soon as the door closes behind him, I walk to the back of the store and lock myself in the bathroom.