Chapter 13
“Jo has told me a lot about you already,” Brett said, shooting Michelle an apologetic smile. “So please forgive me if I seem presumptuous.”
“What exactly has Jo told you?” Michelle said with a strained laugh. She didn’t want to sound as uncomfortable as the idea made her feel, for Jo’s sake more than for Brett’s, but she couldn’t help it. She really wasn’t ready to date again, and if this was Jo’s attempt at match-making, she was pretty far off.
It wasn’t that Brett was unattractive. On the contrary, he was handsome, charming, and very well-groomed. But those were all qualities that had initially attracted her to Alan, and if she was going to date anybody again in her life, she would know better than to be lured in by those physical things too soon.
“Well, that really might be best discussed another time,” Brett said, smiling sympathetically. Suddenly, Michelle felt foolish. Jo had been blabbing her entire life’s story to this guy. It was painfully obvious.
“So she is trying to set me up,” Michelle said, more to herself than to Brett.
“What?” Brett asked with a delighted chuckle. “No, actually that wouldn’t work.”
“What do you mean?” Michelle asked, suddenly very confused. If it wasn’t a set up, then why had Brett taken such a keen interest in her?
“Actually, I’m already taken,” Brett said. “And my boyfriend wouldn’t like it very much if I decided to follow Jo up on the offer to meet the potential ‘woman of my dreams.’”
“What?!” Michelle exclaimed. “What are you doing here then? These big goons would eat you alive if they knew!”
Brett smiled thinly. “I rather hope they wouldn’t. And if you could just keep this our little secret, then I would surely owe you one.”
“Of course,” Michelle said with a sigh. “So why did Jo want us to talk then? Doesn’t she know you’re gay?”
Brett laughed. “She knew before my parents did. The girl of my dreams thing was just a joke. Actually, there is something rather unfortunate that we have in common. But it might not be appropriate to discuss it in such a…busy…area. Would you like to join me for a walk?”
Blade suddenly appeared on the stairs, giving Brett a death look. Michelle frowned in confusion, and then realized with a sudden jolt of clarity, that Blade was jealous. But it wasn’t a good idea for them to be feeling this way, and if he was still jealous, that meant that he might still have feelings for her. Feelings Michelle just couldn’t deal with right now.
“I would love to go on a walk with you,” Michelle said. It was her least confusing option right now. if she didn’t go, she would have to go back upstairs with Blade again and risk having feelings, or maybe even a conversation that she just shouldn’t be having right now.
“Great!”
Michelle felt a twinge of guilt as Brett laced his arm in hers and the death look from Blade seemed to burn straight through their backs as they headed out the door. Blade would have no idea that she and Brett were never going to end up together, but if he was already going back on his deal with her, then maybe he deserved to feel a little bit uncomfortable. Right?
“I just love the smell of the fresh air,” Brett said with a grin, taking a glance at the side of the MC. There were two police cars parked there that day, and he looked away quickly. “I haven’t been out to the country in ages.”
“Yeah, it can be a nice little getaway sometimes,” Michelle agreed.
“It feels like just yesterday I was a kid, running up and down mountains like this without having a care in the world. I’d give anything to have that time back again.”
“You make it sound like you’re a hundred years old!” Michelle said, laughing.
Brett grinned at her. “I’m really not, but I do feel a lot older than I am, for a lot of reasons.”
“Like what?” Michelle asked, suddenly intrigued.
“Well, although some of them are personal, I assume that is why Jo wanted us to meet,” Brett said, dancing around the subject.
They rounded the bend and came upon a comfortable hiking trail.
“Would you like to?” Brett asked, offering his hand out.
“Of course,” Michelle said. She had hiked the trail once with Jo before. It was a beautiful, serene little place. It would do her some good to spend some time somewhere peaceful.
“I’m afraid I have been in your position,” Brett said abruptly, once they were a safe distance away from the road.
“What do you mean?” Michelle asked. ”What position?”
“When I first started dating, I guess I didn’t have very good taste in men. The one I did find was very, very cruel. I ended up a victim of domestic abuse for a little over four years.”
“Oh my god,” Michelle gasped. It was almost worse to hear about someone else going through it than it had been to deal with it herself. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, now,” Brett said. “But it took some time. I think Jo just wanted to introduce us because she thought it would be good for the two of us to have someone to talk to. Of course, it’s a very difficult thing to talk about, so feel free to keep your silence as well. I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.”
Michelle sighed. It was a heavy subject, that was for sure.
“I’m not even sure it’s really over,” Michelle admitted. “I keep expecting him to find some other way around the law. Instead of just convincing all of his buddies that I’m a basket case and that he’s the only one who can keep me in line, maybe he would actually manage to get one of them into the MC, or come himself and steal me back to that house…”
Michelle’s voice broke and Brett put his arm around her quickly.
“It doesn’t feel like it’s over yet because in a way it’s not. He’s still trying to torture you the only way he knows how. And he will until somebody puts him in his place.”
“Well nobody here can do that,” Michelle said miserably. “You don’t just beat the shit out of the chief of police without going to jail. Or worse. The police are trying to dig up all the dirt they possibly can so that they could all be convicted, just for helping me get away from that asshole!”
Brett pursed his lips, sighing deeply. “It’s a tricky situation. Jo has filled me in, some. But I promise you, it does get better. And she told me that the vice president of the MC has been in touch with a really good lawyer to fight on your defense. That’s worth something. It really is.”
Michelle nodded. “I just wish it was over already,” she sighed. “It has been dragging on for so long now.”
Brett nodded. “It’s going to be all right.”
A sudden pang of nausea welled up inside of Michelle and she halted abruptly on the trail.
“What is it?” Brett asked. “Are you all right?”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Michelle said miserably, running a little bit off the trail and bending over into the bushes to vomit.
It was just like what had happened during the picnic for the Fourth of July. Except that this time, she had a witness. When Michelle was finished, she rinsed her mouth out with the bottle of water she had been holding when she left the bar and headed back to find Brett.
“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled when she finally managed her way back onto the trail. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately.”
“Maybe you’re pregnant,” Brett joked.
Michelle froze and the smile faded from Brett’s face.
“…which is totally fine if you are! There are a lot of options for you to consider. You can raise the baby, or not, without your husband’s help!”
Michelle shook her head, silencing Brett, who was now terribly flustered.
“Can I tell you a secret? And you have to promise not to tell anybody else. Especially Jo!”
“Of course,” Brett said, frowning seriously.
Michelle studied him, using an old trick that her father had taught her to determine whether or not she would be able to trust him. When she felt comfortable that he was telling the truth, she sighed.
“If I’m pregnant, the baby wouldn’t belong to my husband,” Michelle whispered. “It would belong to Blade.”
***
Michelle spent the rest of the night locked in her bedroom. Brett had promised to take a trip to the pharmacy in town to buy Michelle a pregnancy test, but he wouldn’t be able to bring it until the next day.
She agonized over whether or not she should tell Blade exactly what was going on, but what would it mean to him? If she was just a problem that he was trying to get rid of, then he might not even claim the child as his own. He might think that she was pregnant with Alan’s child or demand a paternity test.
Michelle knew for a fact, though, that she had refused to sleep with Alan for the past six months. He didn’t seem to care all that much and bragged every once in a while about the new forensics officer who had picked him up on his offer of steamy office sex, in the hopes of making her jealous. It was just another way to pick a fight with her, really, but she had learned better by then than to question anything that Alan did.
This time, there was nobody to turn to. Brett was doing what he could for her, but she still didn’t feel quite comfortable telling him everything that was on her mind about it. He was kind, and very helpful, sure, but Michelle liked to deal with her problems on her own. Asking anybody for help had always been a mistake, and her father had raised her to be independent. No, she would have to deal with this situation with Blade by herself. Whether she liked it or not.
Michelle stood up from her bed and walked cautiously out of the room, her hands trembling as she made the trek toward Blade’s door. The truth had a way of coming out and she would just have to try and trust that he would be a man about it.
But when she knocked, there was no answer. She rattled the doorknob, but it was locked, and she leaned against the heavy oak door and sighed. Either he was sleeping or he had left the MC. She would have to talk to him about it later.
There was no chance in hell of catching any sleep any time soon, so Michelle headed to the common room to watch some television. If nothing else, it would distract her from the terrifying events of the night.
She sat down heavily on the couch and suddenly started to cry. It was the first time she had really cried in years. Not since the third or fourth time that Alan had beaten her had she allowed herself to really tap into the pain of the emotions she was dealing with. Now though, it didn’t seem like there would be an end to the tears.
“Shhh.”
Suddenly she was being swept up into the strong arms of a familiar body, and she was overwhelmed by the rugged scent of Blade’s t-shirt against her face.
“It’s going to be all right, beauty. Everything is going to be fine. No matter what’s going on with you, it’s going to be fine.”
But he didn’t know that she was pregnant. He didn’t know that he was going to be a father to a child he probably wouldn’t even want. He probably wouldn’t even think it was his.
The tears continued to spill as Blade shushed her gently, kissing her forehead tenderly until her sobs turned to hiccups and she grew still in his arms.
“There you go,” he said, sitting her up and standing to retrieve some tissues from the bookshelf across the room. He sat down heavily, his muscular body sinking the couch around him so that she fell near him again. Blade caught her easily and smiled down at her. “I was wondering when you’d cry.”
Michelle was offended at first, as if he were somehow implying that she was weak, but quickly realized that there was nothing but concern in Blade’s deep blue eyes. She hid her face, both ashamed of herself for thinking so little of him and for wanting so badly for the comfort he was giving her to last throughout the rest of their lives. It wasn’t the way it was supposed to be though, so why was she trying to force it?
“Thanks for the tissue,” Michelle said dumbly. But what was she supposed to say? Hey Blade, I’m pregnant with your child! Now what?
That would go over well.
“You shouldn’t thank people for stupid little things. Thank them when it matters,” Blade said, nudging her chin with his fist. “Don’t want anyone thinking you’re soft, do you?”
Michelle shook her head but she was cringing inwardly. She was soft. Too soft to tell him the truth.
But she felt a surge of relief when she realized, she might not actually be pregnant. She hadn’t taken the test yet. This agony of truth-telling could actually wait another day.
Michelle stood from the couch, smiling wearily at Blade.
“I’m sorry if I woke you,” she said. “I appreciate you coming out here like that. You didn’t have to.”
“It’s nothing,” Blade said, looking quickly away from her. They shouldn’t be doing this. Michelle knew they shouldn’t. And the longer she stood there with him, the harder it would be not to. For the both of them. Not only that, but the harder it would be to keep her mouth shut. It would be better for them both if she knew for sure whether or not her worst fears were going to be realized. She didn’t even know if Blade liked kids or not!
“Good night,” Michelle said, tearing herself away from his comforting presence and heading to the bedroom.
“Night kid,” Blade said distractedly.
Michelle hurried into the room and locked the door behind her. There were already enough issues in her life. She didn’t have to make another one by telling Blade she might be pregnant. She would just wait until she knew for sure and then deal with whatever happened however she could. No matter what, she knew, life goes on, and whether Blade was there or not, or she had a baby or not, she would survive. She had to.
***
“How the hell did you manage to get Blade out of the house?” Michelle exclaimed. Brett laughed.
“I pulled in a favor from Snake. But of course, I did it very sneakily. You know. Besides, it’s the truth. I’ve heard Blade can really work an engine and mine has been faulty lately.”
“I can’t believe it,” Michelle said, laughing quietly. “Come in and sit down. This might take a while.”
Brett walked into the room and made himself comfortable in one of the leather armchairs in the corner. He handed her a small brown paper bag and raised his eyebrow expectantly. “I already read everything about this test available online. Two blue stripes mean yes.”
Michelle laughed. “Thanks.”
She disappeared into the bathroom and re-emerged a few minutes later.
“We have to wait 15 minutes,” she said sulkily. “What are we supposed to do in the meantime?”
“Have sex?” Brett joked. “Everybody already thinks that’s what we’re doing.”
Michelle laughed despite her trepidation. “I’m sure your boyfriend would just love that.”
Brett smiled.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I brought a deck of cards.”
“Thank god,” Michelle said, sitting down across from Brett. They decided on poker, and Brett dealt.
“So what are you going to do if the results are positive? Do you think you’re going to need some other place to stay?” Brett asked, studying his hand closely.
“I haven’t really thought that far ahead,” Michelle admitted. “I’m still kind of stuck at the stage of whether or not I tell Blade. Or more like how, I guess.”
Brett smiled reassuringly at her. “It’s probably not going to be as bad as you think. He’s not like your husband. And you’re sure the baby would be his?”
“It’s definitely Blade’s,” Michelle sighed. “I know my body and lately he’s the only one who’s been near it.”
“What do you think he’s going to say if you’re pregnant?” Brett asked. “Call.”
“Full house,” Michelle said, revealing her hand. “I have no idea. He’s probably going to freak.
“Maybe,” Brett said with a nod. “Or maybe everything will be fine. And even if he freaks, so what? Your life is affected more than his. It’s the law of breeding. Oh, and I had a pair of queens. Lucky you!”
Michelle glanced up at the clock. Another seven minutes until they would know the results of her pregnancy test.
“We’ll see about that,” she sighed. “Hopefully this luck won’t run out.”