Chapter 14
Blade stormed into the MC, his blood boiling. For some reason, Jo had apparently volunteered him to help out her stupid cousin by working on the motor of his bike. It was less than impressive, if he was going to be honest, and probably the most insulting part about it was that there wasn’t anything wrong with it to speak of.
Still, Snake had stayed outside on the porch of his house, offering completely useless suggestions for Blade to try. He had heeded a few of them just out of politeness to his boss but there was a point when a man had to put his foot down. He’d ended up snapping at Snake and nearly snapping Brett’s stupid bike in half. That would show him to waste his time.
Blade’s foul mood got even fouler when Jackal nodded for him to join him in private behind the MC. He passed Blade a cigarette and lit one himself before finally cutting to the chase.
“You know Jo’s cousin? The scrawny kid?”
“Brett. What about him?” Blade asked, trying his best to stay neutral. Nobody had to know he had beef with the kid. If it got back to Jo, it would break her heart.
“He came in here about an hour ago with a little brown paper bag in his hand. Went straight upstairs like he lives here or something and hasn’t been back down since.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Blade growled, his fingers itching for his knife. It had been a while since he’d drawn blood, but Brett’s flesh seemed to be begging for it.
“Reckon he had condoms or something in there,” Jackal snorted. “He’s probably giving Zeke’s girl the old what for, you know what I mean?”
Blade roared in anger and threw the cigarette on the ground. He pushed past Jackal and stormed up the stairs, tearing through the hallways until he got to Michelle’s doorway. He listened at the door for anything incriminating, and suddenly heard Michelle sob.
Blade’s heart hammered in his chest and a black cloud of rage settled over him. He had to go in there to make sure that everything was all right. He didn’t even bother knock. Instead, he kicked the door down.
When he entered the room, Blade’s eyes locked on Brett, who was sitting in the armchair to his left like the cat who ate the canary and suddenly his hands were around the boy’s throat and he was slamming him into the wall.
“Blade, stop it! What the hell are you doing?!” Michelle shouted.
“You’re going to let this slippery son of a bitch touch you?” Blade shouted, rage billowing off his body. “You don’t have better sense than that?”
“Touch me?” Michelle exclaimed. “He brought me a pregnancy test, Blade! And he wouldn’t touch me if I wanted him to! He’s gay!”
Blade froze and looked down at Brett, who had his eyes squeezed closed as if he were about to breathe his last breath. And if Michelle hadn’t stopped him, maybe that would have been true.
“A pregnancy test?” Blade demanded, relaxing his grip a little on Brett’s neck. “Show me!”
Michelle glared at him and stomped to the bathroom, then returned holding a little white stick.
“Blue lines, asshole. It means I’m pregnant. Now get the hell out of here before you do any more damage!”
“Pregnant…” Blade mumbled, finally letting Brett slip out of his hands and back into the armchair. “Are you serious?”
“Out!” Michelle shouted.
Blade grimaced. He’d really stepped in it this time. He gaped at Michelle a moment longer before he turned around and left the room without another word.
***
Blade sank down heavily on his bed as Michelle’s words echoed again and again in his head. She was pregnant. But if she was pregnant, did that mean that he was going to be the father? Or was it possible that the child belonged to the pigfucker?
Either way, he was worried. If Alan found out that Michelle was having a child, it would keep him in her life a hell of a lot longer than he should be. And there was the possibility of sharing custody and all the baggage that could come along with that. Not to mention the possibility of a guy like Alan unleashing his temper on the poor kid.
If the child belonged to Blade though, a whole other slew of complications would arise from that. Everybody at the MC would find out that he’d fucked his best friend’s daughter, barely before the poor guy was cold in the ground. What kind of example would that set to his men? He would probably have to step down as the vice president of the MC. Maybe Jackal would end up filling the role.
At least, that was if he and Michelle didn’t end up raising the child together, which was an entirely different matter. The possibility of that happening was probably zilch. She had seen the kind of man he was- a man who took advantage of a young, grieving girl and enjoyed his own sinful desires with her, with no regard to her own purity.
What kind of woman in her right mind would want to raise her child with a guy like Blade? He’d never managed to settle down a day in his life before he turned 40, and then, it was only because Zeke was sick and he wanted to be there to help shoulder the burden of the Python’s duties. Who knew he’d be so damn good at it that he’d want to stick around?
But even sticking around for the Pythons was a far cry from settling down the way a man was meant to settle down when he had children. Kids needed stability. A good home, caring parents, a provider to put food on the table and be there for the big moments…would he even be cut out for the job?
The truth was, the idea of being a parent was far scarier than getting into a knife fight with five other guys. Being a parent meant you had to be present, do the feeling thing. Not just with the kid, but with the mother. His own father had done his best, but he was still absent most of the time. What if Blade was the same way?
Maybe he should run. Get the hell out of there before he was saddled with the responsibility of raising a child that he would ultimately fail in the end, and disappointing the only woman he’d ever started to give two shits about in his life. She was going to be disappointed one way or the other, if he was going to be honest with himself. He couldn’t imagine himself being a good husband or father. Maybe he would be doing them both a favor if he just moved on.
Blade sighed heavily. Whether he was going to be a parent or not, one thing was for sure. He needed a drink. And a goddamn stiff one.
Blade headed downstairs, doing everything humanely possible to avoid looking down the hallway to where the door of Michelle’s room happened to be. He slumped down on one of the bar stools. The crowd was beginning to thin, most of the guys were heading out to check out the car show the town over, but Blade had no interest- especially now.
To his surprise, a few stools over, Brett was sitting by himself, nursing a bourbon and cola, a faraway look in his eye. Blade felt a sudden overwhelming pang of guilt. He’d nearly killed the poor kid because he was worried that he might be sleeping with Michelle. He was definitely not father material.
“What can I get you, Blade?”
At the sound of Blade’s name, Brett looked up, a mixture of fear and resolve on his face.
Blade tried to ignore him. “The usual, man. The hardest you’ve got.”
“On it,” Jackal said dutifully.
A few moments later, he had a cool glass in his hands and was standing up from the bar to move to one of the booths farthest away. He couldn’t stand being so near Brett right now. He had a lot on his mind. And although he had told Michelle not to apologize for stupid shit, for some reason he was tempted to break his rule. But it would take a bit of liquid courage to get on with it.
“Blade?”
Blade tensed up at the sound of Brett’s voice.
“What’s up, kid?” he mumbled, taking a long drink.
“Is it all right if I sit here?” Brett asked.
Blade sighed and nodded, though it felt like his head was stuck in tar. All he wanted was to be alone and to finish his goddamn drink. Was that really so much to ask?
“Thanks,” Brett said, making himself comfortable across from Blade. He’d gotten a refill on his drink and Blade sighed, unable to meet him in the eyes. He’d nearly choked the life out of a gay man for being there for Michelle when she needed a friend. What kind of stupid asshole was he?
“Listen,” Blade mumbled, completely unprepared for the apology but knowing there was nothing else for him to say. “I shouldn’t have choked you like that. I didn’t know…”
Brett interrupted. “You don’t know a lot of things,” he said. “Like how my ex used to do the same thing, only he wouldn’t let go. You could have killed me in there and if you’re that prone to fits of violence, then I should really tell you that this little thing you’ve got going with Michelle? That isn’t going to be healthy for her. She just barely got away from one control freak and she doesn’t need another one in her life.”
“You think I would ever lay a hand on a woman?” Blade asked, his temper prickling again. Maybe he should have finished the job when he’d had the chance.
“I can’t pretend to know you or anything about you. I’m just giving you a fair warning. She deserves better than someone who is going to treat her how you treated me, without even knowing anything about what was going on. It was uncalled for!”
Brett huffed and then guzzled down a good portion of his drink.
“You’ve got some guts talking to me like that boy,” Blade said. “I can respect that. And I appreciate you looking out for Michie. Only one she has to talk to around here is Jo, but I’d wager she’s scared to death to tell Jo about the two of us.”
“Well I’m not looking for your approval, Blade. I’ve stopped caring what people think of me a long time ago. It’s better that way.”
“Cheers to that, little man,” Blade said, raising his glass. Brett looked surprised and raised his glass. “I am sorry about what happened in there, you know. It was impulsive and bull-headed. Which usually keeps me out of trouble, believe it or not. I was just trying to…”
“What? Protect Michelle?” Brett asked with small smile. “She doesn’t need that kind of protection. She’s got a good head on her shoulders. Granted, it will take her some time to get over what’s happened with her husband, but still…”
“I just can’t believe she’s pregnant,” Blade said, his voice hushed. “I swear to god, if it belongs to that good for nothing husband of hers…”
Brett leaned back and studied Blade. “You really care about her, don’t you?” he asked. “I half expected you to say you were afraid it would be yours. But you’re more worried that she’ll stay tied to her husband.”
“You’re damn right I’m worried!” Blade said. “And I’m worried if it’s mine too, you know? I don’t think I’m father material. Would you want me to raise your kids?”
Brett laughed and raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t rule it out, but I’m pretty sure my fiancé would have choice words to say about it.”
Blade froze. He’d always thought being flirted with by a man would make him want to tear the guy’s balls off, but Brett was just teasing him. It gave him a new perspective on things that he hadn’t expected.
“Well anyway, if it’s mine, I’ll find some way to mess up,” Blade said, changing the subject.
“You can’t know that,” Brett said. “You might end up surprising everybody. Especially yourself.”
“I’ve never been around kids, though!” Blade exclaimed. “I wouldn’t know the first thing.”
“That’s the kind of thing you can learn,” Brett reassured him. “There are all kinds of resources out there for you if you just choose to step up and take responsibility.”
“Yeah, well we’ll see what Michelle has to say about that,” Blade mumbled.
Brett smiled. “That’s where I can’t help you. She’s a strong woman, that one. Had a few hard knocks but she bounces back strong from what I can tell so far. Seems like the two of you would be a good match. I don’t see what you’re being so secretive about anyway.”
“It’s complicated,” Blade mumbled dismissively.
But was it really? What if Brett was right and they had been making a huge deal out of nothing? In fact, it felt so much like a truth he wanted to wrap his head around. He wanted badly to be wrong about being with Michelle.
“Love is always complicated,” Brett said, sipping his drink and eyeing Blade knowingly.
Blade balked at the L word. He hadn’t even thought of applying it here. Not with the way everything had been going. He had been so preoccupied with trying to keep himself from falling for Michelle that he had been completely oblivious to the fact that he was completely head over heels in love with her. What the hell was wrong with him?
“Right,” was all he said, taking a deep drink from his glass. Love. Weird. That was a first.
“Look, I hope you don’t mind, but I’d rather you not tell Jo about what happened between us tonight. It would really upset her and I don’t want her to go thinking that just because I’m gay I can’t take care of myself,” Brett said. “If it’s not too much trouble, could we just keep this between us?”
Blade laughed. “Sure, little dude. She’d kill me if she knew anyway.”
Brett’s eyes twinkled. “I know.”
Blade chuckled and shook his head. “So what’s your deal, anyway? You just go around making it your business to get in the middle of things?”
“Nah,” Brett said, a distant look in his eye. “I just like helping people.”
“Well you’re helping me loads by not telling Jo I nearly strangled you to death,” Blade said. “So here’s to you.”
He raised his glass and Brett met it with a solid clink.
“It’s been a pleasure,” Brett said after downing the rest of his drink and standing from the booth.
“Yeah right,” Blade said with a grin. “But it was cool talking to you. Feel free to come around again if you feel like it.”
“Oh, I’ll be around,” Brett said.
There was something in the tone of his voice that made Blade prickle. Some kind of hidden meaning to Brett’s words. But what the hell could this small guy be hiding? If there was one thing Blade didn’t tolerate, it was secrets in his MC. He would get the truth out of the kid one way or another.
But not tonight.
Tonight, he was just going to watch the boy leave and then finish his fuckin’ drink. Now though, instead of feeling like a sorry sack of shit, he was actually wondering if maybe being a dad would be something he could manage. If the squirt thought he could pull it off, maybe he could.
Blade shook his head and slammed his empty glass on the table. Whether he could pull it off or not, he would have to find a way to win Michelle back. Even if the baby wasn’t his, he would be there for the woman he loved. Because apparently that’s what love meant. Sticking around.