Chapter 7 – Virginia
This was the sexiest bikini I had ever owned and Carl wasn’t so much as even looking at me.
When I’d tried it on in the store earlier, I had a smile on my face. I couldn’t wait for him to see me in it. In a bright aquamarine shade, the two-piece had the tiniest bottom, and the top stretched menacingly over my breasts. This was the barest that he would see me.
At the hot springs, which was pretty deserted, I had stepped out of the changing rooms and found him already submerged in the waters. As I walked towards him, I could see that he was on his cell phone and I hadn’t caught his eye yet.
I kept my back straight as I walked towards him, with my breasts firm and stretched out. I wanted Carl to look at me, to see the way my body looked in the bikini. I wanted him to know what he could have because I wanted no man the way I wanted him.
Even though I had walked over to the edge, right where he was standing in the water, he had still not looked at me. I knew I was trying hard just to catch his eye, just so that he would look over. My legs were endlessly long, my hair was tied in a loose bun at the top of my head and I entered the water gracefully.
The hot soothing water lapped against my skin, sending goose bumps all over my body. Carl was shirtless, and I couldn’t really see his swim shorts, but what I could see was enough to make the knots in my belly tighten.
I had never seen him shirtless before, and now while he was looking away from me talking on his phone, I took the time to admire his physique.
He was a big man, with wide shoulders and an equally wide chest. I could see a cluster of tattoos on the right side of his chest, just like the one on his left bicep. His arms were muscular and strong, and I had proof of that from when I was in his arms the day before.
His beard was neatly trimmed today, and even though he wasn’t looking at me, I could see that his blue eyes looked stormy and dangerous today. He was speaking gruffly to someone, and from the sounds of the conversation, it seemed to have been a member of his staff.
I splashed around in the water, enjoying the warmth and also trying to get his attention. When some water splashed on him, Carl looked over at me, just for a moment and then looked away. His gaze didn’t linger on my creamy big breasts hidden underneath the tiny bikini top, nor did he bat an eyelid at my nakedness. He simply looked away and continued talking.
“Well, get your shit together, Mickey. I’ve been away for like two days!” I heard him bark into the phone. I looked at him and gulped. His neck was wide and strong, the hand holding the phone to his ear was large and I wanted to feel it all over my body. I wanted to weave my fingers into the light tuft of dark hair on his chest. I wanted to feel the bristle of his beard against my cheek again as he kissed me. I was ready. I was so ready to give myself up to him, and he wasn’t even looking at me!
After the kiss the previous day, I thought that he wanted me too. I knew that the fact that my dad was his best friend was a barrier between us, and I assumed it was why he had ended our kiss so quickly. So, a visit to the hot springs had been a suggestion to help him see that I wanted exactly what he wanted. I figured that if we were both nearly naked like this together, so close to each other; neither of us would be able to resist another kiss and to take it a step further.
But now it seemed like my plan was a failure. He wasn’t even looking at me. No matter how much I splashed around in the water or sat in front of him with the gentle waves lapping against my breasts, Carl’s attention was entirely dominated by the phone call.
He sounded arrogant, and bossy as he spoke to the person on the other line and I could feel my heart dropping. Carl had changed his mind, he had no interest in seeing me in a bikini, even though I couldn’t stop admiring his body.
“Put Jenkins on the line! I want to hear what he has to say for himself!” I heard him bark into the phone and I looked away from him. I could feel the bottom strands of my hair getting damp in the water. Being in the hot springs was soothing but things weren’t working out the way I’d planned them. Carl was determined to resist me – he didn’t want things to go any further than an innocent kiss.
“I’m going to have to get back and fix it myself!” I heard him shout again and then there was silence. I wasn’t looking at him, but I could sense that he had ended the call.
I kept my face firmly turned from him, and from the corner of my eye; I could sense that he was still not looking at me. His strong long arms were spread out on either side of him as he held on to the edge of the pool. I could feel my throat going dry, as I began to realize that I was acting foolishly. I was throwing myself at a man who didn’t want me.
I was just a stupid twenty-year-old who had read all the signals wrong. That kiss had meant nothing to him.
***
We were back at the restaurant for dinner that evening. I had changed back into my usual outfit of jeans and a sweater, while Carl was in a t-shirt, jeans, and his trusted leather jacket. He looked just as handsome as ever, and the fact that he had barely looked at me in my bikini made me feel like I wasn’t even remotely attractive. What did I have to do to get him to look at me the way I looked at him? I was beginning to lose all hope.
I should have been feeling fresh and rejuvenated after the hot springs, but I could feel myself giving up.
I had been so excited for this trip, and I’d believed that I would finally be able to live my teenage fantasies out here alone with him. Other than the kiss, which had potentially ruined everything, nothing seemed different. I was just a girl and Carl was the man in charge of my protection.
I wasn’t very hungry, while Carl seemed to be wolfing down his food. I looked at him from time to time, trying to think of ways that I could break the ice between us. We had been on a silent spell the whole day, only making casual conversation when necessary.
I wanted to get to know him, I wanted to know what made him tick. He was an extremely difficult person to read and I wanted to crack him. Even though I was pretty sure that there was no hope left to make a connection with him, I made one last attempt.
“How come you’re not married?” I asked. Carl stopped eating and looked up at me like I had slapped him across the face. His blue eyes narrowed on me and he finished chewing his food before he said anything.
“Well, that’s quite a personal question isn’t it?” he said and I shrugged my shoulders. I was pushing the spaghetti on my plate around with my fork unenthusiastically.
“I’ve always wondered, and now I’m asking,” I said and Carl took in a deep sigh.
“Why have you always wondered that about me, Virginia?” he asked and our eyes met. He was challenging me with that question and I wasn’t about to back down. I had spent the past five years lusting after this man and it was time that I did something about it.
“Because all of my dad’s friends are married or were married at some point and I can sense that you’re not the kind of guy who had trouble finding a woman to settle down with,” I said and placed the fork on the plate. Carl was still staring at me with his eyes narrowed. I could see that he was trying to decide whether to continue this conversation or end it. He sighed again and looked away from me.
“There was one woman I wanted to marry. I thought I’d found the one. She was exciting and vibrant and intelligent and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her,” he said. I could feel the pinpricks of jealousy under my skin and there was a lump in my throat. I didn’t really want to hear him talking about another woman like that.
“So what happened? Why didn’t you marry her?” I asked.
“She cheated on me. With my brother,” he replied flatly and started eating his food again like it didn’t matter. It had to have mattered! He hadn’t married anyone. I couldn’t remember him ever bringing a date to any of our parties. I was certain that he had never been in a serious relationship.
“And since then you . . . ” I started saying, but Carl had interrupted me.
“Enough about me. What about you? Are you seeing someone?” he asked and I gulped. I didn’t think he would be interested to know.
“No. I haven’t been in a relationship with anybody, ever,” I said and looked away from him. I could sense the tops of my cheeks burning up. We were dancing dangerously close to the fire.
When I looked up at him, Carl’s eyes widened like he didn’t believe what I had said.
“Is there a reason for that? I bet there is a queue of idiots trying to get you to go on a date with them,” he said and I thought I heard a tinge of jealousy in that statement. I couldn’t really be sure but it pleased me. I shrugged my shoulders.
“Maybe, but there’s only one person I’m interested in and he doesn’t seem to be interested in me,” I said and Carl looked down at his plate again and continued eating. I wondered if he was going to ask me who that was, or if he had guessed that I was talking about him. Either way, he kept silent and kept eating.
“I’ve never been with anybody.” The words tumbled out of me before I could hold them back. Carl’s head shot up and our eyes were locked again. He looked like he thought he had misheard me.
“I just haven’t been interested in being with someone like that, nobody but him,” I confessed and I watched as his lips parted. I wondered if he was going to say something, but he clamped his mouth shut again. My heart was beating so fast in my chest that I was afraid he would be able to hear it.
“That’s good, I’m sure your dad would be happy to know that. You shouldn’t force yourself into it unless you’re ready and sure,” Carl said, but he wasn’t meeting my eyes. My mouth had gone dry again, I was so close to just confessing that the guy I was into was him, but he looked like he didn’t want to hear it.
“Well, I’m hoping that this isn’t something that you will be discussing with my dad!” I said and forced a light laugh. Carl looked up, he wasn’t smiling, but he was holding my gaze strongly.
“Of course not,” he said.