Chapter Nine - Charlotte
My alarm goes off far too early, and I groan, reaching for my phone to shut it off. My head is spinning as if I’d had too much wine last night, but I hadn’t touched a drop. My faces flush, thinking about Danny, thinking about my night alone in the kitchen with him. The sex had been incredible—Danny is just as at skilled at it as he seems to be at everything else. When I close my eyes I can still feel his touches, his lips, and I shiver, turned on just thinking about it.
But now, with the morning sun shining brightly through my window, I’m not sure the heady rush of last night was a good idea. I know I got too caught up in the moment, too carried away in the flirtatious vibe between us. I’m very attracted to Danny, of course, and I like spending time around him—honestly, I can’t get him off my mind—but going that fast has never been for me, has it? Not only that, but I can’t imagine Dad finding out. I can’t fathom what Dad would think if he knew I had a one-night stand with his best friend. I’d be mortified. That’s not exactly something to bring up casually over Christmas dinner, is it?
Not to mention, there’s the fact that I’m still not sure about Danny. In the clear light of the morning, I can’t help but replay all those things Mom said over the years in my head—deadbeat, womanizer, sleaze, going nowhere fast in life, that kid. I want to be sure about him—I want to think I’m seeing something there, that everything Dad’s always seen in him is the man he really. But I saw all the things Mom said with my own eyes, saw far too many women flock to Danny over the years when I was younger and saw how terribly he treated them. I know Danny has supposedly cleaned up his life, but in my mind, I still see girls in tight dresses pressing themselves up against him, loudly and breathlessly whispering about “last night.” No matter how great our night was last night, I have absolutely no desire to join those ranks. I shake my head and pull myself out of bed, headed for the shower.
Sure, part of me would love to keep seeing Danny, would love to turn last night into something real, but the longer I think about things, the more a larger part of me is embarrassed and worried more than anything else. I’ve never been the type of woman to start a relationship off with sex, have I? And there are so many other factors here, so many ways this could go terribly wrong, and so many of those ways that would not just hurt me.
What am I thinking? This could ruin Dad and the restaurant. And with everything Dad’s been through lately, with the divorce and all the changes it’s brought, the last thing Dad needs is any more negative changes. And I moved back here to take care of him, didn’t I? I certainly can’t be the one to bring him more bad news in the form of throwing away his business by throwing myself at his restaurant partner.
It’s for the best, anyway. I’ll never be able to get the image of all those girls from so long ago out of my mind, and the last thing I want, for myself, for Dad, for this new start here in my hometown, is to turn into just the latest conquest of someone who will never shake his town bad-boy reputation.
After my shower, I call Danny and ask him to meet me for coffee at the cafe by my apartment. He sounds pleased to hear from me and agrees quickly, saying he’s already in my part of town. It would be so easy, I think, hearing his reply, to fall for him, and I cringe. Maybe too easy. And maybe that’s the point—from his reputation, it certainly seems he’s the kind of guy you fall in and out of love with fast and easy. I button my sweater all the way up, and tie my hair back quickly, not wanting to look too done up when I tell Danny I don’t want this to go any further between us.
The cafe is warm and smells of coffee and cinnamon when I arrive, keeping out the cold December air and filling it up with cheerful spirit instead. The pretty college-aged barista takes my order and I get a table, smiling around at all the Christmas decorations and festive touches, even as my stomach is filled with butterflies.
Danny arrives a few moments later, and waves to me, ordering just as my coffee order is called.
“I’ll be right over,” Danny says. He’s got a knit hat on his head with a matching scarf around his neck, making him look like the model in some kind of Christmas advertisement. I nod and smile, not wanting to say anything until we’re sitting.
“Hi,” he says warmly, sitting down across from me. “I’ve actually never been here.”
“I hope it’s good, then,” I say, laughing a little. “I’ve wanted to stop in since I moved back, but I didn’t make it until today.”
“You live right up to the street, don’t you?” Danny asks, settling back in his chair.
“I do,” I confirm, nodding and taking a sip of my latte. It’s delicious, and I focus on it for a minute trying to figure out what to say next. The silence is a beat awkward, but it’s broken when Danny’s order is called, and he gets up to get it.
“Mine is great,” I say when he gets back.
“It smells promising, but truthfully, I’ve had a lot of really terrible coffee over the years. I’ll drink just about anything,” Danny says, laughing and sipping his coffee.
“Unusual for a chef,” I comment, wishing I wasn’t so interested in everything Danny said.
“A chef who spent months at a time on a boat, living off of instant coffee,” Danny says, grinning. “Mine is very good, by the way.”
“Better than instant, anyway,” I say, wrinkling my nose. “We had packets of it all the time in our break room at the hospital. I tried it a few times out of desperation in the middle of a night shift.”
“Desperate times call for desperate coffee measures,” Danny says, making me laugh. I shake my head.
“Sometimes,” I agree. Then I bite my lip, taking a long warm sip of my latte before I say: “Danny, I wanted to talk to you about last night.”
“I thought you might,” Danny says, nodding and unwrapping his scarf a little.
“I think we should—” I stop and shake my head. “Last night was really great. I had a lot of fun.”
“But?” Danny asks, studying me and raising an eyebrow. I flush, wishing I wasn’t being so transparent.
“But I’ve never—I don’t do that, I don’t move that fast, and I think starting now would be a bad idea,” I say, biting my lip again. Danny is looking at me with something that might be a disappointment, but I press on. “After all, you are my dad’s best friend, and I don’t want to affect that.”
“So, what do you want?” Danny asks, eyes locked on mine. There’s a note in his voice I haven’t heard until now, a quiet and serious one.
“I think we should focus on being friends,” I say. It’s not true. It’s not what I want at all, but I do think it’s what is best. I can’t hurt Dad over an infatuation. I can’t throw myself into a relationship with someone I’ve never seen take the idea of them seriously.
“And only friends?” Danny asks, nodding slowly.
“Only friends,” I confirm. “I really think it’s best.”
“Because of your dad?” Danny asks. He’s not fighting me on it, but I can tell it’s not where he was hoping this conversation would go.
“For a lot of reasons,” I say, sipping my drink again. Danny nods.
“I don’t want to pursue anything you don’t,” Danny says, “so friends it is.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling disappointed myself. I think I had been hoping he would fight it a little. I can’t help but wonder if his easy acceptance means I was right—that he wouldn’t have taken this, or me, seriously anyway.
“If you change your mind, let me know,” Danny says, smiling that heart-melting smile of his at me again.
“I will,” I say. It’s more than I should allow, but I can’t help it when he smiles at me like that. I know I’ve made the right the choice, but that doesn’t make me feel any happier about it.