Four hours later, Jacen assumed his position at the drums and waited for the cue. He’d spent all of the sound check and his dinner break thinking about Matt. He’d visited the desk, but Matt hadn’t been there. Cady wasn’t even sure where he’d gone. Go figure.

He gripped his drumsticks and blew out a long breath. Each of the concerts started with a light show and a guitar solo. Usually Todd or Aaron broke into the first strains of the initial song, but tonight Rory took over that duty. He strode onto the stage behind the curtain and faced Jacen. He met Jacen’s gaze.

“Ready?” Rory asked. He gripped the neck of his guitar. “Yeah?”

He wasn’t ready to do anything, but he didn’t have much of a choice. He nodded. “Go.” He’d feel so much better if he knew Matt was watching. Maybe Matt wasn’t happy with him, but he could be supportive. Jacen froze. Holy shit. Now he understood. He wanted something from Matt that wasn’t possible to give—not at the moment. He expected Matt to do what he wanted, rather than what was best for Matt. No wonder Matt wasn’t there. Jacen needed to worry less about his own needs and more about his lover’s if he was going to make the relationship work.

“We got this,” Rory said. He tapped Jacen’s cymbal. “We do.” He tipped his head toward the wings.

Jacen glanced over to the side of the stage and his breath lodged in his throat. Matt stood with a small knot of people, including Cady, in the shadows behind the lights facing away from the wings. He was there. That’s what mattered. A calm settled over him and the desire to play returned. He met Rory’s gaze once more.

Rory grinned and bobbed his head. He strummed the guitar, playing the beginning of their most popular song. Once he reached the end of the solo, the curtains opened and the lights went up. Go time.

Jacen launched into the thundering drum line for the song. Smoke and sparks from the flash pots showered in front of the stage as the crowd rushed forward to the band. The cheering damn near drowned out the band. His heart hammered and adrenaline pumped through his body. He rode the wave of the crowd noise and adoration.

He continued playing the first song and watched his bandmates for cues. Rory normally switched from the guitar to just holding onto the mic before the first song ended. He’d probably wind up at the piano before the concert concluded.

Jacen surveyed the crowd as he wailed on the drums. Female fans threw chocolate candies onto the stage. Ever since Rory said he liked the chocolates with caramel middles, the band was pelted with the confections. He tilted his head back and lost himself in the music. Sweat slicked over his back and stuck his shirt to his skin. He launched into the segue to the next song and watched Rory for the cues. Sparks shot toward the ceiling and rained down on the crowd. He knew the song like the back of his hand and had memorized the cadence of the explosions. There shouldn’t have been sparks between the songs. They should’ve been timed for during Rory’s next solo.

What the hell? Jacen kept playing. Maybe the pot misfired and went off early. Smoke erupted from one of the canisters. The thick fog settled around the band.

“Hang on,” Rory said. “We need to get this aired out.” He stopped singing and wobbled on his feet. He coughed. “Come on, guys. Who set these up?”

Talking to the techs while on stage and during a concert wasn’t the best thing Rory could do, Jacen wouldn’t argue. He wanted the smoke gone, too.

Jacen played, nothing in particular, but enough to fill the gap between the songs. As he played, something popped, then another something popped. Rory dropped to the ground. The smoke aired out and the fans screamed. Some ran onto the stage and others darted from the front row. Jacen stopped playing and ducked behind the base drum. He slid onto the floor, then down from the riser. Todd and Aaron crouched with him behind the drum set.

“What is going on?” Aaron covered his head with his arms. “Are you guys okay?”

“I am,” Todd said. He stuck tight to Jacen. “I think someone shot at us.”

Shots fired. Holy shit. Jacen’s blood chilled. Who would want to shoot at them? The smoke dissipated further, giving him a view of the people in the wings. He didn’t see Matt right away.

More screaming filtered around Jacen and his bandmates, then silence. Lights flashed and time seemed to go by in extreme slow motion. He noticed Rory in the wings. He clutched his stomach and coughed, then waved at the band. A police officer brandishing a gun stepped onto the stage. Two paramedics followed the officer. They darted across the expanse to where Jacen, Todd and Aaron were hiding.

“Come with us.” One of the paramedics offered his hand to Jacen. “The security and police have neutralized the shooter. You’re safe. Is anyone hurt?”

Jacen shook his head. He should’ve checked on his bandmates, but he only wanted to see Matt. He needed to know his lover was okay. He left the safety of the drum stand and ran across the stage to the wings. He didn’t see Matt. His heart hammered in his chest and bile rose in his throat. Where was his boyfriend?

“Over here.” Rory grabbed Jacen’s arm. He steered Jacen out to the hallway and away from the stage. “He’s okay.”

Jacen wriggled free from his friend and darted over to the open door. He knew the paramedic in the guest room—Cady’s brother, Andy. He saw feet and didn’t need to see the rest of the person to know who was on the bed. Matt.

“Oh fuck.” Jacen paused just inside the door. Andy stood in front of Matt and applied a bandage to the side of Matt’s head. Blood sullied the gauze and one of his eyes was swollen nearly shut. Another bandage covered his hand. Jacen’s knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor. He crawled over to Matt and rested his head on Matt’s lap.

“I never should’ve let you go. Never should’ve fought with you. I should’ve begged and pleaded for you to stay. Begged and pleaded for you to keep me here. I’m sorry.” Tears stained his cheeks and a sob ripped from his chest. “This is my fault. If I’d have stayed, you’d be fine. I love you, Matthew. Don’t you dare leave me.”

Matt petted Jacen’s hair. “I’m not leaving.” He held onto Jacen’s hand with his wounded one. “I’m not dying, either.”

Even if he’d wanted to, Jacen couldn’t control his emotions. Maybe Matt wasn’t dying. He’d been hurt and Jacen wasn’t sure he could live with himself. “I’m sorry,” he chanted. “So sorry.”

“Hey.” Matt continued to caress Jacen’s hair. “My head hurts like a bitch and the fucker shot my damn hand, but I’ll live.”

“Who?” He sat back on his heels and gazed up into Matt’s eyes—as much as he could. He brushed a sweaty lock of Matt’s hair off of his forehead. “Who did this?”

“Some black-haired guy. Goth, maybe? Had a purple streak. I don’t know his name.” Matt cleared his throat. “He rushed the stage. When I saw him, I jumped in front of Cady.”

He didn’t recognize anyone with that description, but that didn’t mean much. “Was it a fan?”

“No.” Matt sighed and closed his good eye. “He shouted the word revulsion. Did he hate me that much? Enough that I made him feel revulsion towards me? I don’t know him.”

Realization swept over Jacen. He had a pretty good idea who might be behind the shooting. Revulsion wasn’t a feeling, but the band. The more he thought about the general description, he knew. “That was Decay, also known as, Joe North, from the band Revulsion. The band I didn’t approve of and refused to listen to the full demo for…their main technician is Whitman, my ex-boyfriend.”

“I was in the way,” Matt whispered.

“I’m sorry, Babe. I’m…fuck. This wasn’t supposed to happen. We’re supposed to grow old together.”

“I’m pretty sure we still will.” Matt laughed, then groaned. “Damn. Never let a bullet graze your head. It hurts like a motherfucker.”

“I won’t.” He caressed Matt’s cheek. “But honey, you were upset. You left and I got scared. Hell, I’m pretty sure I did something involuntary when I saw you bleeding.”

Matt smiled, despite his pain. “I needed a breather and you’ve been busy in the studio. That’s a big difference from severing things completely. I’m still here and I still love you.”

“I love you, too.” He moved onto the bed beside Matt and draped his arm around his boyfriend. “We’ll get you the best surgeon to fix your hand. Then we’ll get married.” He’d said the words fast and spoken from the heart. He meant all of what he’s said.

“We are? Married?” Matt’s eyes lit up. “Jace.”

“Want to?” Fuck. He hadn’t thought about the potential that Matt might turn him down.

“I’d rather a proper proposal.”

Relief washed over him. “Define proper.”

“Not me sitting on a bed in a hotel with a hole in my hand and a haircut I hadn’t planned on.” Matt rested his head on Jacen’s shoulder. “I’ll need a nurse, too.”

“I’m whatever you want.” He kissed the top of Matt’s head and sobered. “I should’ve asked you back when we were first together. I never should’ve ran away. I’ve had commitment issues and you deserved more. I’m giving you whatever you want.”

“Once I’m back from the hospital, we’ll get this sorted out.” Matt stood, then wobbled. “But you’ll have to take me.”

“Let’s go.” He kept his arm around Matt and escorted him down the hallway to the main staircase. He’d almost lost the man he loved and wasn’t about to go through that ever again. Matt meant too much to him and now that he knew Matt loved him in return, nothing else mattered.

* * * *

Two days later, Matt headed into the studio. He still had the bandage on the side of his head and had gotten a new haircut to make the wound a little less obvious. He sat next to Jacen on the piano bench. Coming to a band meeting, when he wasn’t part of Disaster Transport, seemed odd. But Jacen had insisted, so he went along with his lover’s wishes. Besides, he felt safer with Jacen beside him. The incident in the concert hall rattled him. He doubted anyone else wanted to shoot at him, but that didn’t matter.

Todd, Aaron, Cady and Rory ended up in the room. Cady leaned against the wall by the door. Aaron and Todd both stood.

Rory clapped his hands. “I’ve got news from the police.” He dragged a stool over to the middle of the room and perched on the worn leather. “We had the right set-up with the scanners and the guards wanding people. Two concert goers had small knives. The knives probably wouldn’t have hurt anyone and the people possessing them weren’t planning on doing anyone damage. They were caught immediately. The person with the gun managed to get through detection because he made it with a 3-D printer. I have no idea how he did it, but it was a plastic fucking gun.”

Matt rubbed his arms as a chill swept through him. How in the hell were they supposed to check for a plastic gun? Jesus.

“Jace, when you turned down Revulsion and Whitman, they all took it as a personal attack,” Rory said. “They lied about my giving them the thumbs-up. That was bullshit to get you to agree, too. I guess they thought if you believed I was for them, then you’d sign them.”

“Not a chance,” Jacen bit out.

“I agree. I heard one song…awful.” Rory folded his arms. “Whitman believed they were just as good as if not better than Disaster Transport. When you turned them down, they got angry. Blowing up the flash pots and the miscues were on account of them getting into the wiring. It was meant to scare us and to convince you to go back to Whitman. Shooting was the last ditch effort to hurt someone and Matt happened to be the target. He jumped in front of Cady.” He turned to Matt. “I thank you for that. I’d be lost without her. But because you let Decay-aka Joe North—see you, he fired.”

“Jesus,” Jacen whispered. He trailed his fingers over Matt’s lower back.

Matt shivered. He liked the way Jacen touched him, but he wished they could be talking about anything else.

“Whitman and Joe have been arrested. The rest of the band knew, but didn’t participate, so I have no idea what’s going to happen to them.” Rory puffed out a long breath. “So, that leads me to our future. Disaster Transport. What are we going to do next? I’d like to make more music and put out a record. We’ve got people who want to donate to the restoration of the concert hall. According to Allie and Greg, we’ve got bands ready and willing to set dates once the hall is back in order.”

“How long will it take?” Matt asked. He wasn’t wild about having other concerts there, but they hotel did need the money. Other bands probably wouldn’t bring dangers like Whitman and Joe. But he wasn’t going to lie—he wasn’t comfortable going into the concert hall yet.

“According to the engineers, it’ll take two months,” Rory said. “It sucks because the early summer is prime time for concert series, but we’ll ride Allie and Greg hard to promote the later summer and fall ones.”

“A winter series,” Todd said. “I like it. We can do residency or something. Like once a month we play.”

“I’m not interested in that at all.” Aaron shook his head and waved both hands. “I’m done. I’ll do studio work, but I’m tired of the crazy. No explosions, people with guns, crashes…yeah, I’ve had enough.”

Matt watched Jacen through his peripheral vision. He couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. Disaster Transport was a family…a band of brothers. What would happen to the group? What about the others who depended on the band? The uncertainty ate at him.

“We do need a break.” Rory nodded. “I’m tired of the bizarre things happening.”

“A break?” Aaron snorted. “We’re a mess. You’re off with your wife. Jacen’s got a new boyfriend. Todd acts like he doesn’t want to be here. We’re done. The show’s run its course and we need to give up. It’s over.”

“I disagree,” Jacen said. He stood and shoved his hands into his pockets. “We’re more popular than ever. The fans know we’re here and can see us relatively easily. The Transporters want to see us and a band of them already raised nearly ten grand to put towards restoring the hall and helping anyone injured in the—”

“Accident?” Matt asked.

“Incident?” Cady asked.

“Yeah, that.” Jacen groaned, then faced Aaron. “We’re not in trouble, but if you want out, then go. We won’t hold you back. I get it. We’re tired, sure. It’s been a rough year, but I’m not giving up.” He turned back to Rory. “Would anyone be mad if we were a threesome? Maybe we could have a guest artist. That way Aaron could get his well-deserved break. We’d make it work—whatever we do.”

Matt toyed with his watch. He’d had to move it to his left wrist because of the bandage on his right hand. He bit back the sour taste in his mouth. Was this the sound of a band falling apart or regrouping in order to salvage the ship? Maybe a little of both? Either way, his heart ached. He hated to see the band crumble…especially on account of outside factors. Aaron might have been tired of the chaos, but the band didn’t have to quit.

“Keep going,” Aaron snapped. “I don’t care. I’m done.” He waved one hand. “I’m retiring. I’ve got kids and they need a dad, not video chats and phone calls.” He walked out of the studio and slammed the door.

Matt sat in silence, but glanced around the room at the others. He held his breath. He wasn’t sure what to think and had no idea what to say.

Rory rested his hands on his hips and stood. He paced the length of the red and black rug beneath his feet. Cady sagged onto a nearby stool, but didn’t say a word. Todd folded his arms.

“Well?” Jacen asked. “What do we do?” He plopped back onto the bench beside Matt. “He’s right. You and Cady have settled down. I’m settling down with Matt, so going on the road isn’t as much fun as it could be. Todd? What about you?”

“Residency,” Todd said. “We use the hotel as our home base. We kind of dicked around with it before, but now it’s time to dive completely in. I’ll move here to Dallas so I’m closer. I’d rather be here. I’m tired of the road, but I still want to play. It’s the best of both worlds. I don’t want Aaron to be done, but I’m cool with Jacen’s suggestion to become a threesome and bring in guest artists.” He snapped his fingers. “What about a weekly series? We could even keep it to the internet to cut down on costs, but we invite a guest artist to sit in with us. Play a little of our stuff plus some of theirs and put it on the website. We could work on new stuff and still play, but not be bound to a weekly concert. It’d be jamming and fooling around in the studio kind of things.”

“I like it.” Rory nodded slowly. “Less stress on us and more fun, plus creativity.” He strode over to Cady and snagged her into his arms. “I bet you’d like having me around a little more often. Yeah?”

“I’d love it.” She smiled, probably for the first time since the shooting.

“Jace?” Todd asked. “I’m on board. What about you?”

Jacen draped his arm around Matt’s shoulders. A broad grin stretched across his face. “I’m in.”

“I’ll talk to Aaron. Maybe he’ll come around.” Todd clapped his hands and laughed. “Looks like I’m buying a place in Dallas.”

Jacen stood and tugged Matt to his feet, then put his arm back around Matt. “You’ll love it here.”

“I have the feeling you’re right.” Todd saluted, then left the studio.

Jacen sighed. “Great job averting crisis, Rory. I didn’t think we’d get out of here without a fistfight.”

“We’re good for now. Disaster Transport seems to draw drama, but we’ve got this more under control than we did before. I’ll have Allie and Greg work on the promotions end and setting up the webcams.” Rory held Cady close. “Want to celebrate?”

“I would.” Her voice dropped an octave. “Have fun you two.”

Rory grinned, then led Cady out of the studio and left Matt and Jacen in silence.

“Jesus,” Jacen whispered again. “I didn’t think…” He pinched the bridge of his nose and walked away from Matt.

“What?” Matt snicked the lock on the studio door, then headed back to the bench. “What’s wrong?” Sometimes he liked how he could read Jacen’s mind. Unfortunately, this wasn’t one of those times.

“You don’t understand.” Jacen faced Matt. “I did this. I brought the danger here to Dallas and the guilt is killing me.”

“Jace.” He reached out his good hand to his boyfriend. “You had no idea.”

“You don’t get it. If I hadn’t turned him down…you wouldn’t have been targeted.”

He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. He needed to think before he spoke. He had a pretty good idea how Jacen felt. Guilt was one of his strong points, but Jacen had nothing to feel guilty about. Matt didn’t blame Jacen for anything. “You can’t believe that. Joe and Whitman would’ve done anything to get a contract. They wanted fame and fortune the easy way. If they hadn’t approached you, they would’ve found another band and might have even gotten their way. How would they have handled it if the public panned them? It could’ve been a whole lot worse.”

“Still. You were hurt. I feel responsible.” Jacen bowed his head. “Damn it.”

“You’re not to blame.” He left the bench, then crossed the room to where Jacen stood. He curled his fingers under Jacen’s chin. “I’ve got no regrets. Not a one. I have you and I’d walk through fire for you. I guess I already took a bullet for you, too.”

“Matt.” Pain shone in Jacen’s eyes and tears slipped down his cheeks.

“I was dying inside until you came back. Then you told me you loved me. I swear I thought I’d won the lottery. Not because you can do anything for me, but because you’re you. I love you, Jacen, and I do want to marry you. Whenever, wherever. I’m ready.” Expressing all of those feelings and truths freed him. Matt grinned, then wiped Jacen’s tears away. “I mean it.”

“You do.” Jacen closed his eyes and swallowed, making his Adam’s apple bob. “Then we start a life and maybe even a family together? Right here?”

A family? He hadn’t even considered such a thing, but the moment Jacen said the words, he agreed. “We’ll start with critters first, then work our way up to children, but yes.” He had no regrets or hesitation. He could see his future with Jacen, including a dog, a cat and at least one kid.

“Then being an artist in residency here at the Nathalia and living with the man I love is exactly where I want to be. You took my blurred reality and made everything clear.” Jacen kissed Matt hard on the lips. “I love it and you.”

“Love you, too.” He grasped Jacen’s hand. He’d always have drama in his life. Being with a celebrity guaranteed he’d have his share of excitement, too, but he knew and accepted the risk. He had Jacen’s love and his friends in his life. Now he couldn’t wait for the next track to start in the album also known as his life with Jacen.