The next morning, Jacen rolled over and opened his eyes. He stared at the ceiling. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he didn’t wonder where he was or what city he was in. He knew. He palmed Matt’s ass and grinned. He’d blurred the lines between reality and the band’s version of reality for so long…now living in the real world suited him.

He dragged a deep breath into his lungs, then blew it out and sat up. Something buzzed. He snorted. The buzzing could be anything. His phone, tablet, Matt’s phone… He glanced over at Matt, then eased out of bed. Someone had better answer the buzzing or at least find the source. He rummaged on the floor for his boxer shorts, then stepped into them. The back pocket of his shorts was lit up. He rolled his eyes. He’d found the source of the buzzing.

He grabbed the phone, then left the bedroom and headed into the living room area. He swiped his thumb across the screen to answer the call.

“Hey, Rory.” He popped onto the arm of the sofa. “What’s up? It’s awfully early.”

Rory laughed. “Early. Man, you slept in. It’s four-thirty in the afternoon.”

He frowned, then glanced around the room for a clock. Four-thirty? Really? He squinted at the numbers on the DVD player. Damn. Rory was right. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? I didn’t give you a plan of attack. I just asked you to come out here.”

“Yeah, but I like to be on time. After the shit with Bryce, I’m trying to be better.” To stay sane. “What time do you want to get together for whatever you’ve got planned?”

“Practice and your input on some new music,” Rory said. “Come down when you’re ready. I’m not in a big hurry, but I wanted to make sure you got in okay. Todd’s been in here since noon.”

“Shit. I should be there.” He hopped up from his seat. “Give me fifteen.”

“Jace, slow down. We’ll be here. Take your time.”

“You planned this, didn’t you?” He scrubbed one hand over the top of his head. “You knew, didn’t you?”

“Who? Me?” Rory laughed. “No, you’re right. I did. I had a feeling.”

“Thought so.” He smothered the smile behind his hand.

“Getting your head out of your ass feels good, doesn’t it? So does realizing what you want and taking it.”

“You’re right.” He glanced back at the bedroom. “I was on the right road, but yeah. This is where I belong.”

“Good…because I’ve got plans. I want to get the band together and make music here. You know, something where we just put out records, but don’t tour for the moment. Think about it and when you come up here, we’ll talk,” Rory said. “See you in a few.”

“Will do.” He placed the phone on the coffee table and then folded his arms. Making music, but staying in one place and being close to Matt…yeah, he wanted in.

“There you are.” Matt shuffled into the living room. He’d donned a pair of loose jogging shorts. The waistband slid low on his hips and made his treasure trail appear longer. “I woke up and you were gone.”

“I had to answer the phone.” He strode up to Matt and gathered him into his arms. He breathed in the scent of Matt and relaxed. Coming to Dallas was his true homecoming. No more blurred reality. Life was in sharp focus and made perfect sense.

“Rory?” Matt asked.

“Yeah. He really did want to record something. He’s got a few things he wanted to talk over and that was half of the reason for bringing me here.” He shrugged. “It’s all good.”

“You’re itching to play.” Matt draped his arms around Jacen’s neck. “You might be here for me, but you’re dying to get behind the drum set. I could tell when you used the pencils on the counter.”

“True.” He kissed Matt, loving the feel of Matt’s lips on his. “Disaster Transport isn’t perfect, but we’re good together and Rory’s got a gift for writing hit music. If I can stick around here and make music, then I’m doing it. We’ve got a good thing going and I want to keep it up.”

“You’re definitely up.” Matt bobbed his eyebrows. “I like the way it feels.”

“Me, too.” He ground his crotch against the tent in Matt’s shorts. He groaned. Damn. If he didn’t get moving, he’d never get to the recording studio. Once they got done recording or practicing whatever, he’d be able to join Matt again.

“Gotta go now?” Matt toyed with the hairs on the back of Jacen’s head. He brushed his nose along Jacen’s. “Maybe stay a little longer?”

“Oh, hell. I want to stick around.” He groaned again. “But I’ll just be in the studio. Not a couple of states away. I’m not leaving. Promise.”

“I believe you.”

“Thank God. I’m not used to good things happening often in my life. I’m still working all of this out in my head, but I know I belong here. No running off with anyone or giving up.” Matt’s dream jarred him, too. He wasn’t going anywhere. He hated that he’d even put the thought into Matt’s head.

“Well, I’m not used to having someone care about me who isn’t Cady.” Matt kissed him again. “Get your music made. I need to go for a run. I haven’t gotten out for two days and I’m itching to stretch my legs.”

“Next time I’ll go with you. I’d rather run somewhere then on the treadmill.” He grasped Matt’s hand and led him back to the bedroom. “We’ll have to go to Cali to get some of my stuff. I can’t keep wearing the same three outfits all of the time.” He let go of Matt and shrugged out of his boxers. “Mind if I use the shower?”

“No.” Matt laughed and stripped down. He flexed his ass as he bent over and rummaged through the dresser.

Jacen appreciated Matt’s body. The man was so full of strength and toned muscle.  He loved the little barbells in Matt’s nipples and the way he didn’t shave every last hair from his body. He focused on Matt’s back. A dark spot caught his attention.

“That’s not a shower.” Matt glanced over his shoulder, then shook out a T-shirt. “What?”

“What’s on your shoulder?” He eased up behind Matt. “You got ink.” He slid his fingers over Matt’s skin. “What’s this?”

“Just a design.” Matt didn’t look back at him. “Nothing.”

“No one ever gets a tattoo that means nothing.” He focused on the design. Musical notes? He’d never seen musical notation with those kind of slashes. A cross? “You’ve got to tell me. I told you about mine.” He remembered the night they’d stayed up talking until nearly the next morning. He’d explained the paw print in memory of his dog. The skull and dagger between his shoulder blades had been to look tough and cool. He’d hoped it would impress Rory when Rory went looking for band members to fill out Disaster Transport. He shouldn’t have worried. Rory wanted him from the get-go. As soon as they’d created a logo for the band, he’d added that in ink over his heart. But Matt…he only had the tiny tat on his right arm. The date he’d come out. This wasn’t a date.

Matt sighed. “It’s music notes with a set of…” He smothered the rest of his words behind his hand.

“Notes and what? Drumsticks?” Jacen wobbled on his feet. “You got a tattoo in memory of me? On your back?” He was touched and humbled. Plenty of the bands fans, the Transporters, got ink, but nothing like this.

“Yeah. Well…I thought when you left it was the end of the line for us.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t ready to let go. It’s silly. Hurt like a bitch, too.”

“Matt.” He didn’t have time to do what he wanted with Matt, but he’d sure as hell make up for that later. “I love it.”

“You do?” Matt turned around in Jacen’s arms. “I thought you’d laugh. Everyone gets tattoos for other people.”

“Not with that much emotion involved.” He kissed Matt hard on the lips. “You’re going to make it hard to get through practice.”

Matt smiled. He palmed Jacen’s ass. “Oh, I don’t know. Might be a good incentive to do well so you finish faster and can join me in bed tonight.”

“Perfect.” Jacen sighed. “I need that shower, but I don’t want to.”

“I need that run, too.” He swatted Jacen’s ass and let go of him. “Go. I’ll be here when you get back. If I’m not in the apartment, I’ll be in the office with Cady. You’ll find me.” He shrugged into the T-shirt, then resumed rummaging through the drawers. “If you need clothes, I might have something that fits.”

“Thanks, babe.” He squeezed Matt’s ass, then forced himself toward the bathroom. Matt was right—the faster he got to practice, the faster he’d get done. He switched on the water and moved the curtain out of the way, then ducked his head back into the bedroom. Matt had already put shorts on and sat on the edge of the bed in the midst of tying his running shoes.

Jacen paused. “You’re sexy as hell when you’re…when you’re here with me.”

Mat glanced up at him and grinned. “I’m in running clothes. They’re tight. I’m supposed to look hot.” He winked. “Take your time in the shower and leave the door unlocked. I don’t have anything in here worth stealing.”

“You’ve got me.” He grasped Matt’s hand. “That’s pretty special.”

“I’m not worth much. Ask Cady.”

“She’s biased. Rory wouldn’t say I’m that valuable unless he wants a solid backbeat.” He kissed Matt again. “How about dinner together? Order in or go out. I don’t care.”

“Yeah. I’ll think about it while I’m on my run.” He twiddled with his mp3 player and earbuds. “I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be either here or upstairs.” Jacen stood in the doorway until Matt disappeared into the corridor and the apartment door shut. He was a lucky man. Instead of his life falling apart, like he deserved, he had what he wanted. He had the man he cared for in his life and the start of a healthy relationship. He was still part of the band he loved with the men he considered his brothers. Life was good. Not totally kink-free, but damn good. He stepped into the shower and ducked under the water. He couldn’t wait for practice to commence so it could be over and he’d be back with Matt.

Call him lovesick. He didn’t care. Nothing could screw up this good feeling. Nothing.

* * * *

Matt’s legs burned, but he kept running. He’d powered through nine miles and had one more to go before he’d reach the hotel. Taking two days off hadn’t been a bad idea, but his muscles reminded him not to do it again. Sweat slid down from his forehead and into his eyes. Shit. He should’ve grabbed his headband before he left. He pumped his arms and focused on the path in front of him.

He still couldn’t believe Jacen had come back. Couldn’t fathom that he’d shared his bed with Jacen again. Guys like Jacen didn’t hang around after the first tumble in the sheets. They moved on to the next situation and considered Matt a good time for a little while. He hadn’t been enough to keep his last relationship going. Daniel, known in the clubs as Bliss, only dated him for a place to stay and the chance to steal money from the hotel. Thank God he and Cady had been going broke at the time. He’d found out just what kind of guy Daniel was—low down.

He turned onto the main drag and slowed his pace a bit. More sweat burned in his eyes. His sunglasses slipped down his nose and his shirt stuck to his chest. Shirtless would’ve been a better option, but he hadn’t been thinking that far ahead when he’d dressed.

At least he wouldn’t burn as much with the shirt on. He stopped at a traffic light one block from the hotel and jogged in place. A car turned in front of him, then sped down the road. The angle of the back window sent a flash of sunshine right into his eyes, blinding him for a moment.

“Asshole,” Matt grumbled. He doubted the driver meant to blind him, but still. He waited for the light to change and the signal to permit him to cross the street. The last few hundred yards were the toughest. He could see the hotel and knew he’d be there soon, but he had to make the run.

Matt pumped his legs and continued on towards his endpoint and sighed once he reached the front doors of the Nathalia. He leaned forward and rested his hands on his knees. His muscles ached and he needed a serious drink of water, but he’d get that inside.

“Hey.”

Matt frowned. Who in the hell was talking to him? He stood upright, glanced around and noticed the black car from the intersection. A man poked his head out of the window. He focused on the guy and groaned. Bryce. Jesus.

“You. Aren’t you a worker here?” Bryce slapped the side of the car. “You.”

“Yes, I work here, but I’m not on position. Can I help you?” He turned his mp3 player off.

“Yeah. You can leave my boyfriend alone.” Bryce knocked on the car door again. “Aren’t you going to open this for me?”

“I’m not a bellhop and I’m not working right now. Besides, you look capable of opening it yourself.” The selfish, prickish bastard. “I am needed inside.”

“No, you’re not.” Bryce fumbled with the door. “Come back here.”

Jesus. Matt turned on his heel and headed into the hotel. He appreciated having his room on the ground floor, today especially since it meant he could retreat from Bryce even faster. He unhooked his earbuds and held his mp3 player tight in his hand. He couldn’t move quick enough to get behind the desk.

Cady glanced over at him and opened her mouth, but before she could speak, Bryce shouted.

“I’m not satisfied.” Bryce stomped into the lobby. “Where are you?”

“What’s going on?” Cady asked. She grabbed Matt’s arm. “Who is this guy?”

“He came with Jacen…kind of. He’s Jacen’s ex. Can’t let go.” Matt wiped his brow with the hem of his shirt. “He’s not staying here, but he’d becoming a pain in my ass.”

“I see.” She folded her hands and stood tall—well as tall as possible at a little over five feet high. “How can I help you?”

Bryce grasped his sunglasses and glared. “At least someone here has manners. I was out in my car waiting for the valet. Don’t you people have one?” He clicked his tongue. “This is just about the shittiest hotel I’ve ever visited.”

Without losing a bit of her poise, Cady smiled. “We’re a little behind the times, yes. The parking garage is just across the street and we’ll give you a voucher, but no, we don’t have a valet.”

“For God’s sake, get one.” Bryce tapped his glasses on the counter. “Now, about my room.”

“From what I’ve seen, you don’t have one.” She continued to smile. “I’m sorry. I can help you get a room at one of the other local hotels, if you’d like.”

“I’m staying here with my boyfriend, Jacen Goodwin. You might know him as Blaze. He’s in a band. The lead singer supposedly has a recording studio here. I don’t see how. It’s a dump.” Bryce flexed his fingers. “Do you even know who is staying at this hotel? Rory Speedle. Ring a bell?”

She picked up a pen and rolled it between her fingers. Matt stood behind her and bit back a laugh. Oh, the man had no idea. He rested his hands on the back of her stool, but kept on guard in case she needed his muscle.

“I’ve heard of him, yes, but I’m not in the habit of disclosing information about guests of the hotel—no matter when they have or are staying here. As for your apparent reservation, I don’t have any rooms for the evening, or even this week.” She typed on the computer. “Per your statement you’d be staying with Mr. Goodwin, I have no information for you.”

He ground his teeth together to keep from laughing. For all Bryce knew, she was really looking up info for him. Instead, she simply typed gibberish on a blank document.

“Check again,” Bryce snapped. “He wouldn’t leave me out.”

“No, I’m sorry. I have nothing on that demand.” She smiled and shook her head. “You’ll have to contact him to sort this out. I can’t help you. Have a good day.”

Matt waited until Bryce stomped through the double doors to the sidewalk in front of the hotel before he spoke. “That was awesome.”

“He had no idea.” She closed out of the document, then turned to Matt. “That guy was with Jacen? He seems so slimy.”

“He is.” Matt shrugged out of his damp shirt, then wiped his face again. “I’ll change my shirt, then I’ll be back in case he returns. I don’t want you out here alone.”

“He’s violent?”

“Not that I know of, but he’s persistent. Hang on.” He hurried back to the apartment and hustled into his bedroom. He tossed the damp shirt onto the laundry pile, then yanked a fresh one from the drawer before he headed back to the desk. Cady waited alone behind the counter. At least Bryce hadn’t returned already.

She shook her head. “Does Jacen know he’s here?”

“Yeah.” His voice cracked. Damn it. He hated when that happened. “He showed up last night after Jace did.”

“One of those…” She sighed. “Look, I’ve got to sort out paperwork for the pop-up concert Rory just planned for Tuesday.”

“The day after tomorrow?”

“Yeah. He had this radical idea. Viral marketing. Use the website and keep it low key. See how many of the fans can get the word out.” She shrugged. “The promotion company is handling most of it, but the actual venue stuff—you know, making sure we have the space open and security here…that’s up to me. Well, us.”

“Wonderful.” He draped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll get it done.” They always did. He and Cady were a team. Always.

“I hope so. He’s bringing in techs from California from the main studio to do the sound for it.”

He hugged her again. “Like I said, we’ll figure it out.” He paused. “Why are you here? I thought you brought in that new girl…Julie?”

“I did, but she quit.” She eased onto the nearest stool. “Apparently she thought working at the Nathalia meant working side by side with Rory. When that didn’t happen and he politely told her to do her job or walk…she walked.”

“Christ.” He sat beside her and snorted. Everyone they’d interviewed seemed to think they’d be part of the band or have a piece of the band members. Didn’t Dallas have a few more honest people who simply wanted a job and would do said job?

“I’m struggling with finding someone else. They want access or they won’t do the job. I can’t just hand over the band to people I barely know.” She stared at Matt. “I can’t hand them over to anyone. They aren’t mine to control.”

“What if we closed to the public? Just roomed to the bands. The hall could still be used for concerts, but we wouldn’t have to put up with hangers on or the other bull shit. It’s an idea.”

“I’ve considered it.”

The tiredness in her voice gnawed at him. He should be helping more and bitching less. If he’d do more of his share, then she could focus on having a life. “How about a group meeting? We get the band together and sort this out. I have the feeling Rory would agree since it would mean we’d still have cash flow, but not as much hassle.”

“Yeah.” She flattened her hands on the desk. Her engagement ring sparkled in the light. “Trevor is coming in at eight. Rory and Aaron both vouched for him. He’s Aaron’s brother-in-law. He’s been helping in the music hall and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the band, so I’m fine with him.”

“Nice.” He’d met Trevor once, but he didn’t have a problem with him.

Cady pointed to Matt. “Since I’m thinking about it, have you noticed any letters?”

“Like the ones from Ivy? No. Not a one.” And thank God for that. He didn’t want that kind of negativity back in their lives.

“Good.” She sagged on her stool. “She’s scaling back, then.”

“Must be because I’ve gone through everything carefully. I’d have pulled them—if we had any—and let you both know right away.” He checked and rechecked the mail each day. Until the former manager of the band, Ivy, had been caught and exposed as the sender of the threatening fan mail, he couldn’t hide the nausea he experienced each time the mailman showed up. Ivy had voiced her devotion to Rory and threatened to kill not only him, but Cady, if he didn’t run away with her. Unfortunately, she hadn’t given up writing when she’d gone to jail for shooting Cady. Ivy still sent a letter every so often, but not recently.

Cady fanned herself, then crinkled her nose. “Is it warm in here?”

“A little, but not that bad.” He touched the back of his hand to her forehead. Her temp seemed a tad high, but nothing to worry about. Still, he suggested, “Why don’t you go rest in the apartment or head upstairs? I’ve got this. We’ve got plenty to do tomorrow. The Nathalia will survive without you for a few hours.”

“You’re sure?” The guilty look returned to her eyes.

“Positive. Go. I’m waiting for Jace and when he’s done, if I’m still here, we’ll stick around until Trevor gets in.” He’d do anything she asked. She meant a lot to him, even if he couldn’t be the man she loved.

“Okay.” She slid off of the stool and hugged him. “Thanks.”

He held onto her for an extra moment. “Cady?” She wasn’t sick often. Hell, she prided herself on not taking sick time. He kissed the top of her head. Rory had better take care of her. She was too important to him.

“Matt? You’re squishing me.”

“Sorry.” He let go, then petted her hair.

“What?”

He had to say something intelligent. She knew he worried about her, but him getting emotional right now wouldn’t help. “Don’t let Rory keep you up so late.”

“That’s all?”

He sighed. “Take care of yourself and stop trying to do everything around here. We will survive if you have a few days off.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She shrugged out of his grasp and strode out from behind the desk. “Night.” She headed to the stairs and paused. “He’s over there.”

He? Matt peeked around the wall dividing the desk area from the rest of the lobby. Jacen grinned and said something to Cady that Matt couldn’t hear. Matt sucked in a ragged breath. Warmth swelled within him. He hadn’t had fuzzy feelings like this since he started seeing Cady and wrestled with his sexual identity. But he’d figured himself out and broken up with Cady. He didn’t want to split from Jacen. Holy shit. Was it possible that Jacen was the one?

“Hey you.” Jacen rounded the desk. He kissed Matt hard on the lips. “I’d planned on spending time with you, but these blowjobs behind the counter have to stop.”

“Jace.” He sagged against his lover. “We can’t.” Although he wanted to. He liked blowjobs from Jacen and wanted more. First he had to get the negativity out. “Bryce was here.”

“Are you shitting me?” Jacen blurted.

“I’m serious.” He wished he weren’t.

Jacen raked his fingers through his hair. “Well, fuck him. We keep driving ahead and doing what we’ve been all along. If he’s upset, then too bad.” He brushed his thumb across Matt’s bottom lip. “Have I told you lately how fucking sexy you are?”

“Not lately.” But he loved hearing those words.

“Well.” He inched closer and wound his arms around Matt. “You’re the most handsome man at the hotel. Probably even in Dallas…maybe even in Texas.

“You should get out more.” Not that he minded the compliment. He liked knowing he turned Jacen on.

“You doubt me?” Jacen laughed.

“I’m still wrapping my head around us. I’ve waited for someone like you for my entire life and now I’m panicking.” His hands shook. Jesus. He hadn’t been this nervous in forever.

“Why?”

“I’m afraid this is either a joke or a dream and you’ll go away again.” Oh shit. There he’d gone. He’d said the words on his heart. But how would Jacen respond? His heart hammered and he couldn’t breathe.

“I’m sorry I destroyed your trust, but I’m not going anywhere.” Jacen grinned. “Unless we go on tour, I’m here for the duration. Plus, if we do head out for a tour, you’re coming with me.”

He was probably crazy, but Matt didn’t care. He had Jacen for now and while he didn’t totally believe Jace, he’d treasure the time they shared. He’d worry about the other shoe dropping later.