“You ready?” Jake asked after pulling both bikes out of the back of his truck. He brought me to a park that supposedly had friendly trails.
I crossed my arms and rubbed my biceps. The temperature was warm, yet the breeze felt cool against my skin. “We’ll see if all of those spin classes are true to the real thing.”
Jake smirked, handing me a helmet. “Why don’t you lead and set the pace.”
Strapping the helmet on, I gave him a nod. “Sorry if I go too slow.” I hopped on the bike and got situated.
“Slow is fine. I’ve got a good view.” I craned my head over my shoulder. He was smirking, then raised his hands when I gave him a glare. “I was talking about the scenery, what were you implying?”
Facing forward, I rolled my eyes and began to pedal. “Yeah, sure you were.”
He laughed and began to follow. “Again with the dirty mind. You romance writers…”
I held in my giggle, loving his wit.
We rode the trails at a leisurely pace, and to my surprise, I didn’t do half bad. I thought for sure I’d be huffing and puffing, but found I had more trouble with the bumps. They slowed me down at first, but once I got used to them, it became fun, and I found myself picking up speed and plowing over them with ease.
The wind on my face and the sun beating down on my back was refreshing, distracting me from all of my issues. The scenery was breathtaking as well. The mountains were as epic across from the plains we were riding along, a steady river with rocks streamed near the path, the sound of its flow relaxing against the crunch of rocks underneath our bikes. We didn’t talk much at all besides Jake filling me in on which way the trail would turn next.
“Let’s pull off here.” He biked to my side in the grass, leading me to an opening where a large willow tree stood out amongst the rubble and brush.
When I jumped off, my legs felt wobbly. I must have ignored the ache from the foreign muscles I was using.
“You’re a champ. We just rode for two hours,” Jake smiled, taking off his helmet and hopping off his bike.
I gave him a grin back, taking off my own helmet. “I think I’m going to pay for it later. How far from your truck are we?”
He slid his backpack off and undid the zipper. “Not far. Thought we could have lunch?”
I nodded and took a swig from my water bottle. “When did you make lunch?”
“When you were getting ready. Hope you like sandwiches.”
“Sounds great.”
He pulled out a small fabric cooler and a folded up blanket. I was impressed that he fit all of that in the tiny bag.
I helped him spread out the blanket, then plopped down on top of it. My heart was still racing. “Do you do this every day?”
Jake was fiddling with the cooler, getting out all of the food he had packed. “Most days. Sometimes I’m stuck inside because of weather, or the voices in my head that need to be expelled onto my laptop.”
I smiled and took a bag of cut up apples from him. “Been there.”
“I’m sure you have.”
I rubbed my thigh with one hand. No doubt it would be tight tonight. I probably should have stretched before sitting down. Jake put his hand on my other thigh. “Sore?”
I released a quick breath from his sudden touch. “Not yet, sure I will be tomorrow.”
He massaged to the top of my knee. “We’ll stretch out when we get back to the truck.”
I nodded, watching his hand move back up my thigh. The thick material of my black yoga pants instantly felt thin, and I wished I could feel his calloused hands against my skin.
All too soon, he removed his hand, giving me a baggie with a sandwich. “Turkey?”
I released the breath I had been holding. “Sounds great.”
He bit into his own sandwich, and we ate with the beautiful nature of New Zealand surrounding us. It was a peace I’d never experienced. Illinois had its share of beauty, but nothing compared to the extravagant plains and mountains that were in front of us. As beautiful as the sunshine was, it quickly became replaced with bumpy clouds, a darkness cast behind them as the mountains were beginning to be swallowed by their growing mass.
“Looks like a pop up storm,” Jake pointed out, finishing his sandwich and eyeing the top of the tree. It was dense with leaves, but I didn’t have confidence that it would keep us safe.
Standing and brushing off any crumbs from my thighs, I watched the approaching storm. “Should we try to make it back to the truck?”
Jake stayed on the ground. “Nah, we’ll get stuck in it. It won’t last long. We’ll ride it out under this tree. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve used this spot for shelter from the rain.”
My brows knitted. “You sure?”
He stood now, grabbing the bikes and bringing them underneath the tree and against the trunk. “Positive.” He pulled out a small bag from his backpack, unzipping it to reveal a water resistant blanket. “We probably won’t need this, but just in case.”
Handing me the blanket, he readjusted the one we were sitting on so it was near the trunk of the tree, then took a seat with his back against it. “Come here,” he prompted, holding out his hand for me to take. Keeping the blanket in one arm, I gave him my hand, letting him guide me to sit between his legs.
“Sorry if I’m sweaty,” he teased, spreading the blanket over the top of us. “But I get frightened during storms and normally cuddle with Shepley.”
“I guess I’ll deal with the smell of B.O.,” I teased. Both his arms wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest and resting his chin on my temple. I should have felt more awkward, but it was just too easy with Jake, and I found myself cozying against him.
“Same here,” he flirted back, and I snickered, nudging his chest with my elbow. He squeezed me tighter, and I let him.
We were settled into each other, wrapped in the blanket as the storm rolled in. I blocked out the fact we were sitting underneath the tallest object nearby. Thankfully, it was only a rainstorm, big water droplets plowing down on the earth without thunder or lightening. The leaves of the tree did a pretty good job keeping us dry. Not that it mattered; I was ever distracted by Jake. The way he fidgeted his hands against my biceps, would run his nose into my hair as if he were scenting me. I was sweaty, and should have been mortified. No way did I smell as delicious as he did after racing through the hills and mountains.
“I have a confession,” he murmured.
“And what would that be?”
His lips touched the shell of my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. “You’re the girl I’ve had a crush on for all these years.” He planted a kiss behind my ear, and goose bumps formed on my arms.
I squeezed his forearm with my hand, tilting my head back at him. I was speechless, but inside, I secretly knew he had more than friendship hopes. I could feel it in his kiss last night and by the way he held me. The protective instinct he portrayed was deeper than for a friend across the world that happened to be in the same career path.
His hand found my cheek. “You don’t have to say anything,” he whispered with a smile. “I know you’ve just come out of a terrible relationship, and I’m not expecting anything. I never did… but after our kiss… I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore. You’re the apple of my eye, Love.”
Holding back the swell of emotions to the best I could, I cupped the back of his neck and guided him into my mouth, kissing him as tenderly as I could. I didn’t have the words to say, or understand why my heart was pumping so wildly. Kissing him seemed like the best response I could give him.
He groaned into my mouth, grabbing a hold of my hips and turning me in his lap. He massaged my thigh while we kissed under the tree, the rain continuing to stream down into the earth. When the weather cleared, I withdrew from him, patting his chest with my hand. “We should head back.”
He took a deep breath. “Yeah, if that’s what you’d like.”
I met his eyes, splaying my hand on his pec. “I like kissing you, Jake, but my leg is falling asleep.”
He grinned, kissing my nose, but then a sadness fell on his lovely face. “If you don’t want to kiss me, it’s fine.”
I stood, grabbing both his hands and helping him up with me. Giving each hand a squeeze, I said, “I don’t know how to explain it. I just, don’t want to let you down.”
It was the truth. My first relationship turned out like shit, and if I could have a do over, with Jake, that would be out of this world. I wouldn’t want to mess it up.
His brows furrowed together. “Why on earth would you think that?” Taking my head in his hands, his eyes were storming when they met mine. “Whatever that monster did or said to you, was complete bullshit. I know you, Cora, inside and out. Just because we haven’t seen each other face to face for as long as we’ve talked, doesn’t mean we know each other any less.”
A tear escaped my eye, and I broke free from his hold. I needed distance. Emotions were creeping up from deep in my heart that I wasn’t familiar with, and it felt too good to be true.
“Cora,” he pleaded, following me to our bikes. His voice was softer. “I didn’t mean to sound upset.”
Strapping on my helmet, I wiped underneath my eye, refusing to show him how confused and upset I was becoming. I didn’t even know where to begin with explaining my tears. “Can we take the long way back?” I asked, pushing the thickness down my throat. “It’s beautiful out now, and I wouldn’t mind the extra fresh air.”
Jake gripped onto my handle bar. “Sure. Head back on the trail we came on. Whatever you’d like, Love.”
I nodded, and after a beat, he released me.
***
The trails were full of mud from the rain, making the trek all the more hard. It was fine, I needed the distraction. My brain was racing with every thought and possible outcome for my life. They ranged from moving to New Zealand and making babies with Jake, to him turning into some crazy stalker who would treat me ten times worse than Martin. I knew I didn’t deserve that, I had come to the conclusion when I decided to get the guts to divorce him, but the fear of repeating my same mistakes was very real.
I fought with my head, telling myself Jake was completely different, and it was okay to have feelings for him. So what if I had just signed divorce papers? I didn’t cheat on him, no matter how much it might look like I had if I suddenly fell in love.
Was that what was happening? Were these foreign feelings ones of love? My heart constricted in my chest. Did I really love Jake? Was that even possible?
I was so deep in my thoughts, that I completely missed the thick branch coming up on the path. It was too late, and I hit it head-on instead of bracing myself to roll over it. Instead, I stubbed it as if it were my toe on a door, completely flipping over the front of my handlebars and into a massive mud puddle just beyond the little bump.
“Cora! Are you alright?” Jake shouted, dashing off his bike and tossing it to the side, holding out a hand for me to take as I sat in the thick mud. I looked at both my hands, and down my body, and the insanity kicked in.
I laughed, full on keel over, belly laughed. My shoulder hurt from tucking when I fell in attempt to brace myself, but what else could I do? If I didn’t laugh, I would cry, and I was done crying.
Jake began to laugh, pulling me out of the mud. “I take it you’re not hurt?”
I swiped at streaks of mud on arms. “Only my pride. I can’t believe I did that! I must have looked ridiculous.”
Jake patted my shoulders and searched my body for scrapes, but it was impossible to see anything because I was caked in mud. “You were actually quite graceful. Good thing we’re close,” he nodded down the hill where his truck sat. “I might make you sit in the back with the bikes,” he joked.
I shook my head and smiled at him, then did my own examining on him. He had streaks of mud all over him as well. “Did you fall, too?”
“Um, no. You, my little love bug, were turning up mud into my face the whole way back.”
I covered my mouth to hide my smile. “I’m so sorry!”
He laughed. “It’s impossible to be in the rear and not get some dirt in your face. You’ll just have to hose me down when we get back.”
“Gladly,” I grinned, retrieving the bike and began walking down the hill with it. I didn’t need to risk another fall. In all, it did help me clear my head. I needed the giggle, and maybe even the pain in my shoulder. And if laughing myself didn’t help to heal my nerves, seeing Jake smile and show genuine concern sure made me feel more at ease.
I needed to let go and explore more with him. What’s the worst that could happen? I’d have a panic attack and scare the shit out of him? Go back home and figure out another way to cure my writer's block?
I needed to cleanse myself and try, just like I did when I got the guts to be done with Martin.