My heart was pounding while I waited for his response. I knew who C. Stanton was, but I had to hear it from him, even if that meant my heart would crumble into a thousand pieces.
His mouth was set in a straight line as he contemplated his words. He knew he’d been caught in his lies.
His gaze found the floor. “C stands for Colton. Colton Stanton is… me.”
Every muscle in my body weakened by the blow of his lie. For five years he led me to believe his name was Jake Cooper. I gripped the frame of the chair with my hand to keep me standing.
He lunged to stop me from falling, but I threw a hand out at him in warning. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
Both his hands shot to his sides. “Alright, I just didn’t want you to fall.” His brows were scrunched as if he was in pain. “Please, let’s talk about this.”
My breathing was sporadic along with my thoughts. What the hell was I going to do? “I can’t believe you.”
“Jake Cooper is a pen name,” he said. “A lot of people call me Jake, including my mum. It’s my middle name. Colton is my father’s name.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why wouldn’t you tell me this? I told you Kart wasn’t my real last name. Wouldn’t that be a good time to say, oh, yeah, by the way, Jake Cooper isn’t a real person?”
“I understand why you’re upset. Just, hear me out,” he pleaded.
I shook my head, the urge to cry ugly tears rushing through me. I was so angry and upset, feeling betrayed and like an idiot. Not knowing what to do, I marched out of his bedroom, needing space, keeping the set of keys firmly in my balled-up fist.
“I couldn’t tell you my real name. Only a very few people know it,” he said, following me into his living room.
“Like who? Because the more and more I think about it, you don’t have any other friends you talk about. You clammed up when I asked about your family. Was it all some weird ploy to get me here and trap me?”
He cocked his head and glared at me. “Really? You actually think I’d kidnap you?”
I threw my hand toward his bedroom door. “Didn’t think you’d have a stash of guns to take out a small island, what’s to stop you from targeting in on me?”
“It’s for my other job,” he said through gritted teeth.
“What are you? Some secret spy?” I mock laughed.
He swallowed and I watched the lump running down his strong neck. “Yes.”
My mouth opened, but snapped closed. I was at a loss for words.
“I wanted to tell you, but the time was never right. I didn’t want to scare you away.”
Losing my strength, I sat down on the couch. I rubbed my eyes, my mind spinning in a million directions. How did he trick me so well?
“Cora, I have a shit load of baggage I was too afraid to share with you.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “You think it was easy for me to share how fucked up my life became?”
Jake frowned, his eyes filling with sympathy. He cautiously walked toward me, falling to his knees in front of me. “I know it wasn’t. You’re braver than I am. I put on a front because I don’t know how to deal with it.” Carefully, he tested me, setting his hand on my knee. I was too mixed up to shove him away. “You make my darkness turn into light, Cora.”
“What darkness? You’re the happiest person I’ve ever met.”
He stared at his thumb stroking my knee. “I’m good at hiding it.”
“Yeah, you’re good at hiding a lot of things,” I snapped, nudging his hand from my knee and crossing my legs along with my arms. He fell back on his heels, setting his hands on his own knees.
“I am. Which is why I’m good at my job. I’m retired military, and was offered a job with a private operations company.”
I shook my head. “What does that even mean?”
He took a deep breath. “I catch very dangerous men in action.”
“So, you work for the police?”
He shook his head no, and every bone in my body shook.
“Please, don’t be afraid. I turn them into the police, most of the time.”
“So bad men hire you to find other bad men who have fucked them over. Is that what you’re telling me? You use those guns to hurt them?”
He bobbed his head. “They aren’t all bad men who hire me. Most of the time they want revenge from bad business deals. I’m good at finding men who hide. I’ve spent a lot of time in the desert searching for men. The weapons are my tools, yes, but I rarely use them for more than target practice. I’m a bit of a collector.”
I huffed. Why anyone would need that many guns was beyond me. All it did was scream crazy killer. “This is a lot.”
“I know, and I understand you being upset.”
My eyes widened. “Well, that’s a relief,” I deadpanned.
He rolled his eyes. “It’s not safe for people to know as much as I’ve told you. I have a lot of enemies, Cora. I can’t put you at risk”
I raised my brows. “So, you never intended for us to become anything, you only wanted some quick screw by a woman you’ve been toying with on the internet. I get it, Jake, or Colton, or whoever the fuck you are,” I spat, throwing my arms to my sides in frustration.
He shook his head drastically. “I’m Jake. I wasn’t toying with you, you’ve been my only friend for a long time. I trust you more than anyone!” His voice cracked, and he set both his hands on either side of me on the couch, coming up onto his feet. He was in my face now, and I was doing my best not to wither in his presence.
“ You know me, Cora, the real me. Better than anyone else I talk to. I’m a front for everyone else besides you. Don’t let this wedge between us.”
I glared at him. “I’d say it’s more than a wedge, wouldn’t you? I mean, up until an hour ago I thought you were a writer living happily on a lake, now I know you work for some private company searching and intimidating dangerous people.”
He took a deep breath, his eyes narrowing at me. He was frustrated as well, which pissed me off. I’d been nothing but honest with him, sharing my weaknesses toward a fuck head ex-husband that I let destroy me for way too long. “Cora, please, don’t let this ruin what we have.”
I stuck my finger into his chest. “You’re the one who ruined it.”
He snatched my hand in his grip. “Yes, this is my fault for making you feel betrayed, and I’m terribly sorry I’ve hurt you. You’ve been hurt enough, and I should have been up front with you, but believe me when I say I did it for your own good.”
I shook my head, tears falling down my cheeks. “And I thought I couldn’t be hurt again. This was a knife to the back, and I don’t even know what to say anymore.”
Jake kept my hand in his, and I attempted to yank it from his hold. “Be mad at me, but don’t push me away,” he demanded. “I hate that I’m causing you pain, but you know me, Cora. I’ve always been myself with you.”
A knock sounded on the front door, and Jake jumped, taking a protective stance in front of me, searching the area as if an intruder would walk through it. Then his shoulders fell when he saw my suitcases packed next to the door.
“You can’t leave,” he croaked. “Not like this.”
I stood and walked passed him, unable to meet his eyes. I had no idea who he was anymore, and although he said he was real with me, how could I trust him, and feel safe in his house when he’d lied about so many things?
“I need to think,” I whispered, slipping on my shoes and setting my hand on the doorknob.
“Wait until the morning. Please,” he begged, leaning against the front door. “You can’t take a cabbie this late at night. I’ll drive you wherever you need to go in the morning. Let’s be rational, now.”
“You need to move, Jake.”
“Cora, please,” he paused, his eyes beginning to moisten. I had to close my own lids. This was how Martin controlled me, welling with tears and apologies. I couldn’t let Jake do the same.
He took a sharp inhale. “I love you.”
My heart hammered in my chest. I loved him too, but I loved the man who he pretended to be, not the special service, high intense, military killer that he really was.
“Move, Jake. Let me go,” I said firmly, throwing my bag over my shoulder and grabbing my suitcase handle with my other hand.
Jake waited a moment, but moved so I could open the door. The cab driver smiled at first, but then became uncomfortable when he saw my tears and Jake following me in only his gym shorts.
“Let me get those for you,” he said, taking my bag. Jake glared at him.
“Cora, I don’t want this,” he whispered once the cab driver found the trunk of his car, throwing my things in it.
“You should have thought of that before.”
He took my hand and held it over his heart. His chest was clammy with sweat, his heart pounding wildly against my shaky palm. “It’s not safe for you.”
I craned my head in his direction. “Why would you say that?”
He sucked in his cheeks, a scowl forming across his forehead.
I shook my head in disbelief. “It’s Martin, isn’t it? You know him, don’t you?”
He swallowed. “He’s hired one of my co-workers in the states in the past. I asked him to check on Martin the other day.”
Anger fueled me, and I began smacking his rock hard of a chest over and over, pounding at him as if he was a punching bag. “You’re a fucking asshole!”
Jake stood there, letting me hit him while my tears flowed freely. “I was checking into him for you. That bullshit text he sent scared you, and I didn’t want you to be afraid.”
Giving him one last blow to the chest, I scrunched my fists together, shaking with anger and fear of the unknown.
Jake cautiously set his hand on my wrist, and I was too tired from my tantrum to immediately brush him off. “I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t planning anything, and if he was, I wanted to be prepared.”
I glared at him, flinching from his hold. “Make sure all of your guns were loaded? Is that it?”
“There’s more to my job than shooting, Cora,” he muttered. “Think of it like a game of chess. I have to have all of my pieces in place to protect my queen.”
I ground my teeth together, hating that his line made my heart skip a beat. Crossing my arms, I scowled at him. “And what piece was I in your game of chess before I slept with you?”
He furrowed his brows, not understanding.
Jutting my chin and standing my ground, I continued. “Did you work for Martin? Did he ever want you to ‘take care of me?’ Or, did you see my photo on his desk then decide to make me your conquest?”
He frowned, his eyes becoming stormy. “First, I thought I made it clear I’ve cared about you for a very long time. Second, I’ve already told you a co-worker had worked with him, and not in regards to you, and it was an insane coincidence. Third, you’ve NEVER been a conquest, and I’m a bit appalled you’d think so low of me.”
My arms remained crossed, apprehensive if he were telling me the truth or not. “I’m a bit appalled you didn’t tell me your real name or that you hunt people, but hey, who’s counting?”
“I should have told you before you came out to visit. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, sucking in a breath as if it would help hold in my tears. “There’s a lot you should have told me a long time ago.”
The cab driver was standing by his door, tapping on the hood of the car. “Er… did you still need a ride? If you do, we should probably get going.”
Jake held my stare with his, begging me to forgive him and stay, but I just couldn’t do it. He’d lied about too many personal things, and some of them were just terrifying, and I didn’t know if I could trust him. Martin out to get me or not, I had to get away and think.
“I’m coming,” I grumbled, edging passed Jake.
“Cora, please don’t go right now. Wait until morning. Sleep on all of this, we can talk more and then you can decide.”
Finding the back passenger door, I swung it open. “The time for talking was months, or even years ago, Jake.”
Jake followed, setting his hand on the door. “You’re being irrational.”
“Let go of the door!” I shouted, pissed he’d call ME irrational, considering he was the one with all of the lies. “I need space,” I whispered, resisting a sniff from my running nose.
“Love,” he pleaded.
I only shook my head, facing forward, refusing to see the deep brown of his gentle eyes begging me to come back to him.