Jake was quiet the short drive back to his home. He smiled and would answer if I asked him a question, but something was bothering him. I couldn’t help but think it was because I threw on the brakes with him and diverted going further underneath the Willow tree.
“I’m going to hop in the shower,” I mumbled, taking out my hair tie and heading for the guest bathroom.
“Sounds good.”
I frowned all the way to the bathroom. I should have asked him to join me and help wash the mud from my body, allowing the innocent shower turn into a hot and steamy one, but no, I was a wuss. By his shift in mood, I’d bet he would have turned me down anyway.
Staring in the mirror, my eyes widened. I literally had mud caked all over my body, and when I stripped, my pale, clean skin underneath made it look like I still had clothes on. I flushed, a touch of embarrassment passing through me knowing Jake saw me looking like this, well, the version with clothing on. I wondered what he would think of me without clothing. Examining my body, I bobbed my head back and forth, thinking he’d be pleased. Martin never seemed to find me attractive, but he could kiss my ass.
When I was finished cleaning up, which took a very long time to scrub away all of the mud, I grabbed my laptop and headed for the back porch. Jake startled me when I passed through his office. He was sitting at his desk, intently focused on words on his screen.
I tiptoed passed him, but failed at opening the door quietly. I caught his lip turning upward, but his eyes remained on the screen. He was holding his chin with one hand.
“Sorry,” I muttered, yanking on the door.
“No worries. This version of you is way less intimidating.”
I furrowed my brows with confusion at him.
Taking his attention from the computer, he brought his gaze to mine, a smirk settled on his face. “The Swamp Thing wasn’t a good look for you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I scared myself when I looked in the mirror. Why didn’t you tell me how ridiculous I looked?”
He spun in his chair, both hands palming each arm rest. He was fresh out of a shower as well, his hair damp and pushed to the side, a clean gray t-shirt and pair of black gym shorts covered his yummy lean body. He pulled off the casual look perfectly.
“You looked cute, and I didn’t think you needed to add any other troubles on your plate.”
My shoulders fell. “I didn’t mean to freak out on you.”
He shook his head and smiled. “Least of my worries, Love.” His line of sight found my laptop clutched under my arm. “Gonna give it a go?”
I nodded. “Can’t hurt.”
He sucked in his bottom lip, tapping his fingers on the armrest. “That wasn’t a confident response.”
“I haven’t been very successful, well, besides last night.” I shivered, remembering the text message.
Jake stood from his seat, towering over me. The clean smell of his soap was inviting. “Maybe use those feelings toward your next manuscript? No one said your whole story needed to be mushy gushy. Liven it up with some crazy ex-husband.” He gave me a wink. “Your pub will love that.”
I laughed under my breath. “She wouldn’t make the connection. Her son is perfect in her eyes, he’s even ‘doing so much better with therapy.’ She’s crazy and wants us to work things out.”
Jake cautiously brushed my damp hair from my shoulder. “Is that what you want?”
I practically snorted in response. “Not a chance in hell.”
He grinned, setting his hand on my shoulder. “Didn’t think so. Grants you all the power in the world to make your villain be just like that son-of-a-bitch you were married to. Use your horrible experiences to enhance your story. Don’t let it take control of you.”
I swallowed and nodded. “You’re right. It just might take me some time.”
He dropped his hand, his smile becoming sad. He took my words more literally than I meant for them to be. “You’ve got all the time in the world at my place. Stay until you figure it out.” He opened the screen door the rest of the way. “I’ll be right in here if you need me.”
I frowned. Did I push him away again? I really didn’t mean to.
“Want to join me outside?”
His eyes perked up. “You want my company?”
I nodded, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I think it might help.”
“Can’t say no to a pretty face.” He grabbed a laptop that was charging near his desk, following me outside and sat opposite of me on the patio couch. I stretched my feet across the middle cushion, using pillows to prop my back against the armrest. Jake was relaxed, setting his feet on the ottoman with his computer on his lap. It was a cozy feeling, both of us comfy on the couch doing what we love. Now if only the words would start spewing from my brain.
I kept getting distracted, peering over my screen at Jake deep in concentration. If his fingers weren’t typing away, his hand was on my ankle or foot, massaging or stroking. It was such a simple and methodical gesture, but felt amazing. I was thankful his mood had returned and he wasn’t afraid to touch me.
Unfortunately, my writing was still at a standstill. Maybe I needed to take Jake’s advice and try a different twist in the story. It couldn’t hurt. The worst thing that could happen would be deleting everything. At least I’d get my feet wet.
Even though I had made up my mind on which way to go with my storyline, I kept getting distracted by Jake. His stubble covered jaw ticked on and off, a sign he was in deep thought. The look came when he would stroke my ankle.
After an hour, he stretched his hands high above his head and grunted, setting his laptop on the ottoman. He rotated on the couch and pulled my feet onto his lap, beginning to massage them with both hands. I hid my delighted eye-roll behind my computer screen. It felt amazing, especially after the long bike ride. His hands took turns between my feet and my ankles, then gripped up to my calves. “We didn’t stretch out after the ride.”
“This will help,” I sighed, melting into the couch.
He smiled, continuing his path up my legs. I giggled when his thumb stroked the inside of my knee, jerking in reaction to being tickled.
Jake chuckled under his breath, grasping onto my thigh. “Did I find your funny bone?”
Setting down my laptop so it wouldn’t fumble, I tried to pull my leg from his hold, but he wouldn’t budge. “Yes! What happened to massaging?”
A wicked grin spread across his lips while he resituated, climbing to his knees and straddling one of my legs. “This is massaging.” Both his hands found the backs of my knees and wiggled, the touch shooting me into fits of laughter. I squirmed underneath him, grabbing a hold of his strong wrists. “Jake, stop! That tickles!”
We were both laughing now, his hands caressing more gently up the outsides of my thighs. I caught my breath some, only for it to be stolen again when he found my sides, showing no mercy. He hovered over me now, his white teeth beaming through his smile while I giggled and squirmed.
Resting both his hands on either side of my arms on the couch, he stared down at me while I caught my breath. “That was so mean,” I grumbled with a grin, wiping the tears of laughter from under my eyes.
“Yes, but worth it to see you smiling.” He gazed down at me, and my heart fluttered.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” I whispered, wanting to reach up and touch his face, but refrained.
His brows pinched together. “Why are you sorry?”
I took a deep breath, diverting my gaze from his face to the bit of chest hair down his shirt. “I shouldn’t be so afraid to be physical with you.”
Jake rotated, lying between the couch back and me. Resting on his elbow and setting his chin in his hand, he said, “That’s not why I wanted you to come here, Cora.”
I closed my eyes. “I know it’s not, but… I have all of these weird emotions creeping up and I don’t want them to freak you out.”
He chuckled. “You couldn’t freak me out. Obviously you’ve never met any of my ex-girlfriends.”
I opened my eyes and turned to my side so we were face to face. “I’m serious, Jake. The last thing I need is to completely lose it while being with you.”
Jake brought his hand to the side of my face, his thumb stroking my jaw. “I don’t want that either. Why would you lose yourself?”
I studied his face, the image of him still so new. He was gorgeous. The softness of his brown eyes against his sharp, dark and thick eyebrows was masculine, his jaw defined and prickly with dark facial hair. The only debatable imperfection was a scar above his eye that I hadn’t even noticed until now. It was endearing, and made him more handsome.
“Cora?” He prompted, catching my eyes with his.
Taking a deep breath, I willed myself to open up to him.
“My last year with Martin wasn’t what a marriage should have been when it came to the physical part. It didn’t feel the same, didn’t feel right. So I stopped making advancements, and I turned him down quite frequently. You can imagine how that made him react.” I swallowed the dry lump that was forming in my throat. I hadn’t talked about this with anyone besides the therapist that was appointed by the hospital.
Jake’s brows were furrowed, but he continued to listen.
“The last few months of our marriage, he just started to take me, even if I didn’t want to. It wasn’t a good experience.” Jake’s hand remained on my face. “I just feel like I’m damaged goods for you when it comes to pleasing a man.”
“Alright, let’s get a few things out on the table,” he began, a sternness in his voice that didn’t match his typical playfulness. “I’d never expect you to do anything with me you weren’t comfortable with, and will most certainly NEVER force you to do anything. Intimacy is a two way thing, if it doesn’t feel good for you, then it doesn’t feel good for me.”
I coward some, but he jerked my face to look at him. “Second, nothing about you is damaged. You’re literally the most perfect woman I’ve ever met and laid eyes on, so don’t think for a minute that I’d ever be disappointed. Do you understand?”
I nodded. I already knew all of this in my heart, but hearing it from him helped for it to sink into my head.
“I guess I feel like I should have more guilt than I do for being here. I just had a nasty divorce. Shouldn’t I be more upset? Not feeling comfortable in another man’s arms so soon? The therapist made it sound like I might never be ready to be with a man, but every part of me is screaming to dive into your arms and bury my past.”
Jake let go of my face and curled his arm around my waist. “No one will judge you here. We’ve known each other for a long time. It’s not like you picked me up at a bar.”
“I don’t think I’d care if I were judged, I just get worried I’m going to wake up and have a breakdown, realizing I’ve done something too soon because the textbook answer is to be cautious.”
Both his arms clung around me. “You’re allowed to be cautious, I just want you to be happy.”
I wrapped my arm around his waist and cozied against his chest
Jake relaxed into me, running a hand through my hair. It felt so nice to be in his arms.
His chest rose up and down against my cheek, the sound of his heart soothing me and helping my mind to focus. I wanted him, more than just a friend, and it would happen soon.