After I gave my statement and Martin was taken away, my house turned back into the dark, silent place I had originally came home to. Jake made a pot of coffee, pouring me a mug while I sat at the kitchen counter.
“Will you be alright?” He asked, watching the last police car drive down the road.
I shrugged. “Hopefully.”
He took a seat next to me, watching me intently. “I’m sure you have a few questions.”
I only stared into my mug, the hot steam rising against my cool skin. “I’m not sure I want the answers to how you stalked me and ended up following me across the world.”
He was holding in his laugh, but soon became serious. “I had to follow and protect you.”
“Because of your job?”
“No, I did it because I care about you, and I didn’t want that monster to hurt you.”
I nodded and closed my eyes. “I’m thankful you did, even after I was a bitch to you.”
“I deserved it for leaving you in the dark. I only hope that you can forgive me,” he whispered. “I never meant to hurt you, Cora.”
“I know,” I croaked. Meeting his eyes, I asked, “Is it over?”
“It better be. I would have finished him for good if Ben weren’t here. He came up with the solution. Not the original one I wanted, but it’ll keep me out of trouble I guess.”
I cleared my throat. “Have you killed before?”
He paused before he answered. “Yes.”
“In the military? Or for this job?”
“Both.”
“A lot of men?”
He nodded. “The first handful of them took out my father on a mission. I was in charge of the drone that dropped a bomb. Unfortunately, they got to my father before I could get to them.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. No wonder he was afraid to open up to me. He was full of trauma, and his charismatic humor was how he dealt with it.
“I was sorry for a lot of years, I still am. I blame myself for the men that died that day, not just my father. I can’t look my mother in the eye because of it.”
“She doesn’t blame you, does she?”
He shrugged. “She’s never said it, but I haven’t really given her the chance to say it either.”
I understood his fear. I was afraid to talk to my parents, too, but for an entirely different reason. They resented my decision to be with Martin, and I wished I would have listened to them.
“I regret my father dying, but I don’t regret killing the men who took his life.”
Cautiously, I took my hand from my mug and covered his. His hands were warmer than mine, and the dry skin of his knuckles tickled my palms. I met his gaze. “Are you trying to tell me you would have killed Martin for me?”
He hesitated, then quietly spoke. “Yes.”
We stared at each other, no doubt he was worried with what my reaction would be. I squeezed his hand, a tear falling from my eye. “Thank you,” I murmured, biting my lip to keep it from trembling.
He took my hand in both of his, bringing it to his lips. “Are you afraid of me?”
I should have been mortified of him. He was bred from the military, a lethal, killing machine who would take out anyone who did the same to an innocent, but I felt the opposite. He would keep me safe to no ends.
“Not for the reason’s you might think,” I admitted.
He furrowed his brows.
“I’m more afraid you’ll shatter my heart, not shoot it.”
He shook his head drastically. “I love you, Cora. I’d never hurt you. If you were mine, I’d treat you like my queen. Can’t you picture it?”
“I can imagine the picture perfect life, but that’s not reality.”
“Let me tell you how I envision my perfect reality.” He squeezed my hand and looked me dead in the eye. “We’d live on a little lake in the middle of nowhere, I don’t care what country it’s in, as long as there are four seasons. The house only needs two bedrooms, one for us, and one for Shepley. A porch with a grill, because I love meat, and I know you love watching me cook.”
“We’ll visit family, but only in small doses, because we’ll constantly be repairing our pasts with them. We’ll go on mountain bike rides, sometimes for fun, or to clear our heads, and I’d bet we’ll both wipe out from time to time.” I smiled through my tears, remembering my head-first dive into the mud puddle.
Jake kissed my hand, then continued. “Some nights, we’ll fight because I didn’t do something right, or because one of us are frustrated with life and we’re taking it out on one another, but it won’t matter, because within time we’ll forgive each other. I’ll apologize regardless, because it’ll most likely be my fault, then I’ll tickle you and kiss you until you’re smiling as if nothing had happened.”
“On clear nights, we’ll sit outside under the stars, sometimes talking about a manuscript idea, or what had happened that day, or sometimes we won’t talk at all. Either because we’ll be so deep into each other’s bodies or because we need the time to our own thoughts.”
My cheeks flushed when he wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Deep into each other’s bodies?”
“Oh yes. I was trying to keep this from going sexual, but with your dirty mind constantly going there…”
I giggled through tears, and he kissed my hand again, pulling me from my chair and inviting me to sit on his lap. My arms found his neck while his wrapped around my waist.
“And in my perfect reality, you’ll let me hold you while you cry, kiss your tears and tell you how much I love you and that I’ll always keep you safe.”
His lips did just that, finding my damp cheek and kissing it tenderly, running his hands through my hair and whispering sweet nothings and apologies. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t up front with you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t hear you out and stay in New Zealand with you,” I murmured back.
“It turned out alright. Gave me the opportunity to beat the shit out of your ex-husband.”
I frowned, and he scowled at my reaction. “Did that upset you?”
My hand found his chest, picking a piece of lint from his t-shirt. “Not you punching him, I’m just not sure about your undercover job.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I can take a break from it. It’s on an on-call basis. If I don’t want a job, I turn it down. I’ve declined quite a few because of writing.”
“You’d do that for me?”
He grinned. “Yes, silly woman. When are you going to believe me when I say I’d do anything for you?”
I matched his grin and kissed him, bringing my hands to his jaw, stroking the stubble. He sighed into my mouth, running his hand up my spine.
“I like your picture perfect,” I whispered between kisses.
“It’s real,” he murmured. “Yet, it’s so perfect that it’s a dream come true.”
“Yes,” I hushed, moving so I was straddling him on the kitchen chair.
He groaned in approval against my lips, the pads of his fingers sneaking underneath my shirt and up to the strap of my bra, undoing it with ease. Both his palms slid across the length of my back, and it felt divine. I released his mouth, shrugging off my sweatshirt and t-shirt, my bra falling to the floor along with it. He watched, then pulled me back into him once my chair was bare. His mouth became more urgent, as if he needed me to breath.
He stood from the chair, carrying me to the living room. Setting me down near the couch, he fell to his knees, kissing my stomach while his hands worked on the button of my pants. I ran my hands through his dark locks, loving that he wasn’t wearing a hat. The brown of his eyes found me gazing at him, and the lust in his eyes stole my breath away.
Peeling down my jeans and underwear, he kissed my pelvis, his eyelids fluttering closed the further down he went. My head fell backward when his tongue slivered into my skin, finding the sensitive nub. He moved his mouth slowly, savoring me.
The sensation was amazing. He’d go down on me for hours, which any other night I’d allow, but right now, I needed more. Gently tugging on his hair to get his attention, I murmured, “Jake, I want you.”
“You have me,” he muffled after swirling his tongue.
I shook my head, pulling harder on his hair until he stood from his knees before me, his chin already glistening from the short amount of time. “I was just getting started,” he whined.
I tugged on his shorts, forcing them along with his boxers down to his knees. He smirked, stepping out of them as I peeled mine from my ankles.
Once our clothing was on the floor, I grabbed his wrists and lead him to the sectional couch. It was wider than a twin bed, and would be more than comfortable for the rest of the night, tangled with Jake. I guided him to sit. He adjusted his body so his back was resting into the couch cushions, his strong legs begging for me to sit on them.
Straddling him, my arms snaked around his neck, my chest pressing against his. Both his arms immediately found my waist, guiding me to hover over his very stiff shaft. He was so big that I’d have to guide him into me, and the small bit of priming he’d done with his mouth would help to ease him inside. I was greedy for him, eager to become connected.
Using my hand, I pumped him a few times, loving seeing him take a long blink, his chest rising at a quicker rate. “You sure you’re okay with this?”
I nodded, kissing his nose and rubbing the tip of his cock at my entrance. “I need it.”
I sank down on him, and his hands clenched onto my skin. It was uncomfortable at first, but kept from wincing. I hugged him, keeping my body still and meshed with his.
He nipped my jaw, then found the crook of my neck, planting kisses on every inch of my skin. “You’re such an angel,” whispered into my skin. “I’m so thankful to have you in my arms.”
“I’m thankful to have you in real life. I love you, Jake.”
His head rested on the cushion, gazing up at me while I began to move. “Me too, Love.”