I wasn’t sure what had gotten into me, why an angry cloud of red had suddenly blanketed my vision and pushed all my sadness away. Maybe it was because of how horrifically he’d broken my heart so long ago, or maybe it was because the first time I saw him after nearly a decade, he was crooning hateful words into a mic before getting his cock sucked by some groupie. Whatever the reason, I barely noticed Lyla and Mace taking off before Mt. Tatum could explode and rain holy terror down on everyone around me.

“Deck,” I replied flatly, feigning a boredom I most certainly wasn’t feeling. “You look better than the last time I saw you. Not that I’d expect you to remember the last time I saw you. If I recall, you were balls-deep in some skank and high as a kite. I’m pretty sure you didn’t even know I was there.”

“Oh fuck,” Killian mumbled.

“Ah hell,” Garrett grunted.

But I could barely hear it over Declan’s feral growl. Then, before I could so much as blink, that asshole lunged, threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and charged up the stairs.

“Declan!” I screeched, pounding my fists into his solid back. “Have you lost your mind? Put me down!”

He didn’t listen. Taking the stairs two at a time, he stomped down the hall, carrying me like I weighed less than nothing, until he came to an empty bedroom. The sound of my feet hitting the carpet was accompanied by the door slamming so hard it rattled on its hinges.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “You have no right to touch me, let alone carry me around like a goddamn caveman!”

Declan crowded me, forcing me to stumble back until my butt collided with the dresser. “Ten years,” he hissed, looking dangerously similar to a raging bull. “I haven’t seen you in ten fucking years, and you show up to my best friend’s funeral with that guy?” he finished on a roar.

My entire body grew cold from the inside out. “Don’t you dare,” I whispered before losing my cool completely. “Don’t you fucking dare! He was my friend too! I loved Will, so don’t you stand here and insinuate that today is about anything but him! Will and Camden liked each other. He wanted to pay his respects—”

Quick as lightning, Declan grabbed the lamp from the dresser and hurled it across the room. The ceramic base exploded against the wall, raining jagged shards onto the carpeted floor. I stood with my mouth hanging open in shock as he began pacing, raking his fingers through his hair. “Will liked that guy? Goddamn it, Tate! Are you trying to hurt me?”

Just then I was hit with a fresh wave of tears. “I’m not doing this with you,” I whispered as the first fell, followed by many more. “Not today. Not any day, but especially not today.”

I bolted for the door just as a loud, hiccupping sob ripped from my chest, but he was too fast. Placing his hand on the door above my head, he shoved it closed and pressed his back against my chest. “Tate.” My name came out haggard and pained, causing me to cry even harder.

“He’s dead, Deck. Will’s dead, and I can’t do this. I can’t handle it.” I broke down like I had the night I got the phone call. I’d cried every day since, but not like this, not the kind of crying that was so loud and hard it made your chest ache and your stomach muscles feel like one big bruise by the time you were finished.

That was how I cried as Declan turned me into his chest and held on tight. I was so lost in my misery that I completely lost track of time, and it wasn’t until I’d cried myself out and exhaustion was setting into my bones that I realized where I was, and whose arms were giving me comfort.

“Shh, baby,” he soothed, running his hand down my back. “It’s okay. I got you.”

Jerking from Declan’s hold, I sidestepped in order to put some much-needed space between us. With a frown, I looked up into those stormy blues I’d once loved so much. I didn’t have the first clue how to react to being in his presence. Everything had changed. I had changed.

And I didn’t know how to be around him anymore. He’d been my best friend for longer than we’d been together as a couple, but it was as if I was staring up at a complete stranger.

“Why did you bring me up here, Declan?” I asked, my voice hoarse and raspy from my latest crying jag.

“I—” He shook his head violently, like doing so would help to form a clear, concise thought. “I don’t know. I saw you and I just… reacted. I didn’t think.”

There was no stopping the bitter, sarcastic laugh that burst from my throat. I might’ve been a different person than I was ten years ago, but it was clear as day that Declan hadn’t changed one damn bit.

“Seems you make a pretty nasty habit out of that,” I sneered. “Screw how other people might feel because of your thoughtless actions, right?”

“Tatum, I—”

“Did you even stop to consider the fact that I didn’t want to be alone in a room with you? Or that maybe I didn’t want you touching me? Did that thought ever even cross your mind?” I was on a roll, ranting uncontrollably, but damn if it didn’t feel good to say what had been weighing on me for so long. “I mean, you couldn’t possibly have taken one. Single. Freaking. Second to think about what I wanted, because if you had, you’d have stayed way the hell away from me. As if flying halfway around the world just to witness your coked-out ass in the middle of the fucking threesome wasn’t bad enough, then I get to sit in an audience of thousands and listen while you rip me to shreds with one of your songs. God! You’re such an unbelievably selfish bastard! But then again, you always were. Was destroying me once not good enough for you? Had to go tear that wound open all over again and pour salt in it just to make yourself feel better?

“For Christ’s sake, Tatum! Will you fucking listen to m—?”

“No. I won’t. I won’t listen to a goddamn word you have to say, because you’re a liar. That’s all you are, Declan. A liar. Your words mean nothing. Now, I’m sorry for what you must be going through right now. I know you loved Will, and he loved you too. But this isn’t something I can commiserate about with you. I won’t share my grief with you, or let you hold me while I break down. We aren’t in this together.”

“That’s bullshit,” he growled, taking a step closer. “Of course we’re in this together. No amount of time or distance can change the fact that it was the six of us. It will always be the six of us. We’re in this together. Will was all of ours, and we need to lean on each other.”

That familiar anger he exhibited whenever he didn’t get his way came rushing back to the surface. But I was done. I had nothing left in me. The emotional upheaval I’d been experiencing the past few days had officially taken its toll.

When I spoke next, my words were empty, hollow. There wasn’t a single ounce of emotion, good or bad, left in me. I’d been tapped out. “I don’t want to lean on you, Declan.”

“Don’t say that,” he pleaded in a hushed tone.

“Why not? It’s the truth. I don’t even want to know you. If I could go back in time, I’d erase you from my memory completely. Unfortunately, that’s not an option.”

He looked like I’d just slapped him. I wanted that to give me a thrill, but all it did was make that gnawing emptiness in my gut grow even wider.

Neither of us said another word as I opened the door and walked out of the room. I spent the remainder of my time in that house catering to Lyla’s every need. I talked to the other guys, got to know Gwen, and when I finally left, I breathed a sigh of relief.

It was over. Done. I’d never have to see Declan Forrester again.

* * *

Declan

She spent the next few hours acting like I didn’t even exist. And damn she was good at that. Her eyes didn’t even trail in my direction for a fraction of a second, and I would know, considering I spent the entire time watching her every move.

“Hey.” Gwen’s voice pulled my focus from my fixation on Tate, and I turned to her just as she took a seat next to me on the couch. “You doing okay?”

“Can’t say I am, Baby Mama,” I muttered, lifting my beer bottle to my lips and taking a pull.

She fiddled with her fingers in her lap. “Well, I know it doesn’t really help much, but I’m here if you need to talk. About anything. I don’t know if Garrett told you, but I lost both my parents, so I get what you’re going through.”

I felt a pang of sympathy in my chest for her. “Shit, babe. I’m sorry to hear that. Garrett didn’t say anything.”

Her smile was full of sadness as she shrugged. “Yeah well, it was a while ago. But I lost them pretty close together, so it was like one hit after another.”

“When was this?”

“My dad was back when I was in college. It was unexpected. We didn’t see it coming. My mom was about two years later, but she was sick for a long time before that. Cancer. I had to watch her suffer before she finally let go. It was only a couple months before I met Garrett, actually. The night we….” She swallowed audibly, and I knew exactly what she was trying to say. The night they’d hooked up, and he’d inadvertently gotten her pregnant with their daughter, Liddy.

“Fuck.” I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her against my side. “I’m so sorry, honey,” I muttered against her hair. “I had no idea.”

“It’s okay,” she said softly, leaning against for comfort. “Like I said, it was a while ago, and I’m okay now. But I get it. What you’re going through, I mean. I understand. So if you ever need to talk, I can do that. Or I can just listen if you want to vent about how incredibly unfair it is. I understand that too.”

I offered her a genuine smile when she finally pulled back and looked up at me. “Thanks, Gwen. Garrett’s a lucky bastard.”

She turned her gaze, so full of longing, toward my brother. “Funny,” she muttered, so softly it was almost as if she was speaking to herself. “I thought the lucky one was me.”

I really fucking liked that for Garrett. We sat in companionable silence for a few more minutes before Garrett finally had enough of me monopolizing his girl’s time and came to steal her back. Then I turned my attention to finding Tatum. It took me a while to realize she’d snuck out while I was preoccupied with Gwen.

That was okay though. Because I had a plan.

She thought she didn’t want to know me anymore. But she was wrong about one thing. I wasn’t the same selfish prick I’d been back then.

And I was going to make her see that if it was the last thing I did.