Fifteen years old

“How cool is it that we got our first gig?”

I glanced over my shoulder at Killian and smiled before dropping my books in my locker and slamming it closed.

“It’s awesome, Kill,” I answered, stepping over to join him, Will, Garret, and Declan. The five of us slowly started making our way through the crowded halls toward the school cafeteria.

It had taken a while after the bumpy start we had, but I eventually grew really close to Declan’s three friends, firmly burrowing my way into their tight circle. I was just like one of the guys. I did everything with them. We hung out together all the time. And for a girl who’d grown up an only child, they’d given me the brothers I never had. I loved each and every one of them in their own unique ways.

There was only one difference.

And it was a huge one.

I didn’t just love Declan. I was in love with him.

I wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened, or even how, but there it was. I was crazy for my best friend.

“I don’t know,” Declan grumbled as we pushed through the double doors into the loud, busy cafeteria. “I just don’t think we’re ready yet.”

After years of playing around on their instruments, they finally decided to get serious and put a band together. They’d been practicing like crazy, day and night, trying to make something of themselves. It was an amazing thing to watch. Will played the drums. Killian was on the bass. Declan and Garrett both played the guitar, but the thing I loved the absolute most about listening and watching them play was hearing Declan’s incredible voice. He was just… everything. I loved experiencing the music they made.

“What are you talking about?” Garrett grumbled as we moved through the lunch line. “We finally nailed every one of those covers we’ve been working on forever. We sound awesome!”

“We don’t even have a name!” Declan declared as we grabbed our trays and moved to an empty table. I remained quiet, taking my seat next to his. Will sat on the other side of me, Killian and Garrett across from us.

I didn’t say a word because he was right. They’d been going back and forth on band names for months, and each one was worse than the last.

Satan’s Homeboys. That had been a particular favorite of mine. Said with sarcasm.

The Butt Pirates. I Googled that one and informed them what it meant. Needless to say, it was vetoed pretty quickly.

The Headboard Crushers. Leave it to a bunch of teenage boys to come up with something that juvenile and cringeworthy.

The Demented Clowns. Yeah, I wasn’t even addressing that one.

“What’s wrong with the Headboard Crushers?” Killian asked. “I mean, it fits. At least with me and Garrett.” They bumped their fists together and laughed as I rolled my eyes.

“Hey, guys, what’re you talking about?”

We all tipped our heads up at the same time at the sound of Mason Keller’s voice. He was new to our town and school, having only just moved there a few weeks earlier. Will, being the social, easygoing guy he was, had become fast friends with him. I hadn’t gotten to know Mace all that well yet, but from what I’d seen, he was a decent enough guy. Everyone seemed to be warming up to him pretty quickly, everyone but Declan, that was.

Mace took the empty seat directly across from me, getting fist bumps and back slaps from everyone except Deck.

His gaze landed on mine and a big, attractive smile spread across his lips. “Hey, Tatum.”

“Hi, Mace,” I replied. As soon as his name left my mouth, I felt Declan move closer. When I over up at him, I found him scowling across the table at Mason.

“We’re talking band names,” Will spoke, answering his original question. “We still haven’t come up with anything good, despite what these two shitheads think.” He chuckled as he pointed at Garrett and Killian.

I’d been giving their band’s name a ton of thought lately and decided it was time to tell them what I was thinking. “Uh, guys?” All five sets of eyes came to me. “I think I might’ve come up with something. It’s cool if you guys hate it. You don’t have to use it—”

Declan bumped his shoulder with mine, and I turned my head his way. He smiled down at me in that way that made my tummy flutter. “Spit it out, Tate. You know we take your opinion seriously.”

My face grew hot as I offered a timid smile. “Well, what do you think of Civil Corruption?”

They all stayed quiet for so long that I started to get embarrassed, and dropped my gaze to the table.

“Civil Corruption,” Will said in a thoughtful way. “That sounds—”

“Freaking awesome!” Garrett cried. “Holy shit! That name’s killer!”

My head shot up, and I scanned each of their faces. “You really think so?”

“Hell yeah! It’s perfect, Tater tot,” Will declared.

“Thanks.” I was blushing furiously under all their attention.

“Great thinking, Tate,” Mace said.

We’d just exchanged another grin when Declan’s voice cut through the moment. “So we finally got a band name,” he started, sounding disgruntled. “But I’m still not sure about playing the dance. I mean, we sound good, yeah. But I hate the fact that we gotta play covers. We really need to start writing our own songs.”

The rest of the guys began grumbling. It was the same argument they’d had over and over.

“Hey, cranky” I said quietly, knocking Deck’s knee with mine. “Every band has to start somewhere, right?”

He shrugged. “I guess, but—”

“But nothing. Look at the dance as practice. Play the covers now, then start writing your own music. What’ll it hurt, right?”

“Yeah, dude,” Killian cut in. “Listen to your girl. She’s always been smarter than you.”

I blushed like crazy at him referring to me as Declan’s girl. I’d never admit it out loud, but I loved it when one of them called me that. It made me feel special.

Important.

It was like floating on a cloud. Unfortunately, seconds later that cloud disappeared and I came crashing back down to earth.

A girly, high-pitched squeal of excitement cut through my happiness just moments before I was roughly shoved out of the way.

“Hey, babe! I missed you!” Amanda Pickler threw herself into Declan’s lap and planted a hard kiss against his lips.

If I listened hard enough, I was sure I’d hear my heart breaking. I hated Amanda Pickler. She and Declan had been going out for a little over two months, and I knew from overhearing conversations between him and the other guys that he’d lost his virginity to her shortly after they began dating.

I’d cried myself to sleep that night. I was talking snotty, blotchy-faced ugly crying. The only thing worse than the boy I loved being with another girl was having no one to talk to about it.

I desperately needed some friends who were girls.

“Hey, baby.” He grinned up at her in a way that made me feel sick. I’d been on the receiving end of so many of his smiles I’d lost count, but I’d never gotten a smile like that. It was a secret smile between two people who shared a lot more than just friendship.

“Guess what?” She fluttered her eyelashes and flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “My parents are going out of town tonight. You should come over.”

My throat burned like I’d just swallowed acid, and my eyes began to sting with building tears. I had to get out of there or they’d all see just how close I was to crying.

I cleared my throat and stood from my chair. “I’m going to head out, guys. I’ll talk to you later.”

Declan’s hand came out and grabbed my arm. “But you haven’t even eaten yet.”

“I forgot, I have to meet with Mr. Peterson about an extra credit project.”

Shaking my arm free, I all but bolted from the lunchroom, careful not to look back because I was afraid of what I’d see if I did.