Pulling myself from the miracle lying in that bed was the last thing I wanted to do, even if it was only long enough to toss the spent condom and wash up after having my world rocked.

It had been a goddamn dream come true, better than any memory I had—and believe me, I had countless vivid memories of Tatum Valentine. I went as quickly as I could, seeing as my legs were still shaky and uncoordinated from coming so hard.

Anxious to get back to my girl, I moved out of the bathroom and came to a sudden stop at what I saw.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked as Tate, with the bedsheet wrapped around her, struggled to pull her panties up without exposing her nakedness.

“Getting dressed,” she mumbled, refusing to make eye contact.

“Kind of a waste of time, don’t you think?” I asked as my feet came unstuck and started in her direction. “I’m just gonna rip them off you again as soon as I get my strength back.”

Having successfully gotten her underwear in place, she started pulling the top drawer of her dresser open and rifling through it. “It’s getting late,” she continued to mutter with her back to me. “You should go.”

“The hell’re you talking about?” I grunted. “I’m not going. I’m not done with you by a long shot.”

“Like I said,” she continued, working a T-shirt over her head, “it’s late. I’m tired.” Once she got her left arm through the sleeve, she let go of the sheet, allowing it to fall to the floor and exposing the skin of her back to me for the first time. And what I saw made my blood run cold. I’d had her completely naked beneath me only minutes before, but I hadn’t gotten to savor every smooth, creamy inch like I’d wanted, so I missed it.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” I growled angrily just as her shirt fell into place.

“No, I’m not kidding,” she said, oblivious to the shift in the atmosphere as she slowly turned to face me. “I need to get to sleep, and I can’t do that with you—” She stopped talking when I grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her back around, yanking the shirt up past her waist. “What are you doing?”

“You fucking covered me?”

Tatum’s body locked up tight at the accusation in my voice. “Declan—”

“You fucking covered me?” I barked, staring down at the brightly colored flowers that spanned the small of her back. Flowers that covered the words she’d had inked on her skin the same time I had her inked on me. ‘He’s my storm on the horizon.’

“Crimson” had been the first song we’d written together. It was about us, about our love for each other. It wasn’t just the song that propelled Civil Corruption into the spotlight—it had been the song that defined our relationship. That was why, back when we’d barely had enough money to buy ramen fucking noodles, we still pooled every cent we had and went to get those lines permanently etched onto our bodies.

I still had Tate buried beneath my skin where I could see and feel her every day.

But she’d gone and covered me up so she wouldn’t have to remember.

“What did you expect?” she snapped, pulling from my grip and whipping around, her face awash with fury. “Those words were a glaring fucking reminder of how you broke my heart. No way in hell I was keeping them on me. So yes, I chose to cover them up.”

“Every day,” I hissed, stepping closer. “Every goddamn day, I stared down at those words on my hip just so I could remember you—”

“That was your choice!” she shouted, throwing her arms wide. “You wanted to remember. I wanted to move on, and I’m not going to let you make me feel guilty about it!”

It felt like a knife had just plunged through my chest into my heart. “And what about now?” I asked, my stomach coiling into a knot of dread.

Her brow furrowed in confusion as she shook her head, sending the wild riot of fiery red swaying in the air. “Huh?”

“Now that we’re back to us, what do you plan on doing about covering me up?”

“Declan, what just happened doesn’t change anything,” she stated firmly, driving that fucking knife even deeper, and twisting it for good measure.

“Jesus Christ, Tate! I just had my cock buried inside you five goddamn minutes ago. That changes everything!”

“It was a mistake!” she cried in return. “It never should’ve happened. If I didn’t drink so much earlier, it never would’ve—”

“Don’t,” I seethed. “No fucking way I’m gonna let you blame being drunk on what just happened. You wanted it just as goddamn much as I did, and you’re full of shit if you claim otherwise.”

She lifted her chin in the air defiantly, while at the same time crossing her arms over her stomach in a protective gesture. “Fine,” she admitted. “I wanted it. I won’t lie about that. But that doesn’t change the fact that it was a mistake. One that will never happen again.”

“That’s such bullshit,” I gritted out, doing my best to hold onto my fury while I slowly died inside. It was like being a child and having your parents give you your favorite toy, only to rip it from your hands minutes later and smash it into a million pieces. The loss was agonizing, which only made my temper that much worse.

“It’s not,” she replied, her tone cold and flat. “One slip doesn’t change the fact that you’re toxic for me in every way.” Each word from her kiss-swollen lips was a lash against my skin, leaving me flayed and bleeding.

“I’d call you begging me to fuck you way more than a slip,” I sneered. “Fuck me, never had a woman go that crazy for my cock in all my life.” I wanted my words to sting, to create even a fraction of the pain she was causing me.

Tate’s top lip curled in disgust as she hugged herself tighter. “And that right there just proves my point. You’re a child, Declan. An immature, selfish child.”

I took a step forward, invading her personal space and standing so close she had to tip her head all the way back to maintain eye contact. “You can stand here and deny what just happened all you want, but it’s a goddamn lie. It’s been building for weeks, and tonight you lost control. Rest assured, baby, you’ll lose control again. Because, toxic or not, we’re in each other’s fucking blood. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t ignore what we are.”

“Watch me,” she challenged, even though I could see how her pupils dilated and her chest quivered with a shaky breath at my threat. I was right. I was in her blood, and she’d eventually cave.

Leaning down farther, I lowered my voice and said, “You’re it for me. And I’m it for you. Been that way since we were seven goddamn years old.”

“Is that what you told those skanks in Australia right before you fucked them?” she threw back in my face.

That lash was worse than all the rest, and I feared I might bleed out right there at her feet. But unwilling to let her see that she’d struck another blow, I continued on. “Lucky for you I’m feeling generous, so I won’t make you beg next time you come to me.”

“Go ahead and hold your breath while you wait for that to happen,” she snarked. Christ, she’d always been a fucking vision when she got riled up. “Get out of my apartment.”

Pasting a smirk on my lips, I said, “See you around, neighbor.” Then I quickly dressed and did the only thing harder than having to let her go the first time.

I walked away. And the only reason I was able to do that without losing my mind was because, unlike last time, I knew this wasn’t permanent.

I’d have her again, and for good. If it was the last goddamn thing I ever did.

* * *

Tatum

My feet remained rooted to the floor, unable to move as Declan leisurely dressed and sauntered out of my bedroom like he hadn’t a care in the world. It was only after I heard the front door click shut that I was able to unglue myself from my spot. Running on bare feet toward the living room, I skidded to a halt where I’d dropped my purse earlier and began frantically rummaging through it, in search of my cell. There was only one person I could call after the shit storm that had just gone down between Declan and me. Camden would lose his mind. My parents would probably both go into cardiac arrest at the same time. That left me with only one other option.

“Tate? Hey, honey, it’s really late. Are you all right?”

At the sound of Lyla’s concerned voice, the floodgates opened. “No, I’m not all right,” I cried, tears streaming down my face. “I screwed up, and now I don’t know what to do.”

I poured it all out for her, every dirty detail, from what Gwen had said in the coffee shop and how it fucked with my head, making me question everything I thought I knew about Declan, to the epic fight we had right before I kicked him out. By the time I was done, I’d cried so much I’d completely run out of tears. My eyes were puffy and itchy, and I could no longer breathe through my nose. I was a freaking mess.

“Wow. That’s just… wow.”

“That’s all you’ve got to say?” I squeaked through the line. “I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown here!”

“Babe, I think it’s safe to say you’re well past the verge.”

“Thanks,” I grumbled, looking at the bottle of wine on the counter longingly. But I refused to go there again. Booze was what got me into this mess in the first place.

“I’m sorry,” Lyla giggled. “Just give me a second to wrap my head around this, okay? I mean, I haven’t been laid since well before I kicked Daniel out. I’m a bit envious here.”

That was a blast of cold water to the face. I’d been so wrapped up in my own stupid drama that I’d let myself momentarily forget about my friend’s troubles. Not only was she dealing with the loss of her brother, but her marriage had been circling the drain for years before she finally pulled the plug on it just six months back.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling like the world’s biggest asshole.

“Stop apologizing. You’re allowed to call me when you’re freaking out. I’m not a piece of glass, Tatum. I won’t break. Besides, it’s time for me to start getting on with my life.”

God, I loved her. “Yeah, but you’ve been dealing with one blow after another lately. I should’ve been more compassionate to that.”

“You’re the most compassionate person I know,” she replied, and hearing the smile in her voice did wonders to alleviate some of my guilt. “You get any more compassionate and you’ll explode, raining glitter and rainbows down on everyone in a five-mile radius.”

I laughed in return. It was a nice change of pace from the hurricane of emotions I’d been dealing with all night. “I miss you,” I told her. “I wish you were here right now.”

“Me too, honey. You know, I’ve been doing some thinking lately, and maybe it’s time for me to take a little vacation.”

A smile stretched across my face so wide my cheeks hurt. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And I’ve always wondered what Seattle’s like.”

“We can explore together.”

“I’d love that,” she said softly, the sorrow leaking back into her words before she changed the subject. “So, what are you going to do about Declan?”

“I don’t know,” I answered on a heavy exhale. “It’s not like I can just avoid him, you know? I work for the damn band.”

“Maybe it’s time the two of you sat down and actually talked,” she suggested. “You went from cutting him out of your life completely to fighting whenever you’re in the same room. What if you guys just sat down like adults and talked shit out? You’d probably be able to move past everything and reach some sort of truce.”

“Maybe,” I replied reluctantly. “I’m just not sure how well that would go over. Like you said, we can’t even be in the same room without blowing up at each other. I’m not sure either of us can keep our tempers in check long enough to have a civil discussion.”

“You won’t know unless you try, Tater tot,” she responded sympathetically. “I don’t know what’s going to happen between you guys, but I do know you two can’t keep going at this rate. You’ll destroy each other.”

“I know,” I conceded, my head starting to throb. “You’re right. I’ll try, I promise.”

“Silver lining, I’ll be there as a buffer soon enough. I won’t hesitate to smack some sense into either of you if I think you’re getting stupid.”

“I love you, Ly. Get here soon, okay?”

“I love you too, Tater tot. And I’ll call when I get something set up.”

We hung up and I headed back to my bedroom. I stepped through the doorway and looked at the state of my bed, the covers destroyed and pillows scattered everywhere. The smell of sex mingled with Declan’s cologne still lingered in the air, and I made the decision right then that it was time to break in my new sofa. There was no way in hell I was sleeping in that bed.

At least not until I had a chance to wash Declan off my sheets.