Chapter Twenty
Mia
Julien was distracted. I could hear it in the way he spoke and I could see it on his face.
“Are you worried something will go wrong?” I asked, uncertain. I’d been growing closer and closer to him ever since the day I’d told him everything, so this change, as slight as it was, concerned me.
“What?” He glanced at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road.
Traffic had grown heavier as we neared Rome. Our plan was to pick up the ledger and then head to the airport. We’d booked tickets to Philadelphia already and were scheduled to leave tonight. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Actually, I couldn’t even think about that part yet, and I certainly couldn’t think of being back in Philadelphia again. I hadn’t even called Allison to tell her I was coming. Although I was certain she wasn’t involved in that shooting, I intended to keep my promise to Julien.
“You seem worried, that’s all.”
“No,” he patted my knee. “No, I’m not worried. Just thinking things through.”
I nodded and looked ahead too. There was more going on, but I had the feeling I should drop it.
“Where will you go when this is over?”
He looked thoughtfully at me, his forehead still creased. “Not sure.” He slowed the car as we neared city traffic.
I asked the question without thinking and realized that in a way, I’d grown used to being with him. Would it be strange now to part ways?
“Julien?”
He navigated the car slowly around the busy roundabout. “Yes?”
“Will we… I mean, will I have a way to get hold of you? You know, after?”
He seemed to be focused on the driving, but I could see his mind was occupied by more.
“Why would you want that?” he asked, the change in his tone catching me off guard. He’d reacted sharply, almost snapping at me.
It hurt, but I shrugged my shoulder, not wanting him to see.
Although, maybe he was right. Why would I want that? This was a business arrangement. I would pay him to keep me safe until I claimed my inheritance. That was all. The other stuff, the sex, the earth-shattering sex, the punishments even as they intensified everything else — I had to be careful not to misread it. This was only a business arrangement.
“I only meant so that I could wire the money to you and know you got it,” I lied.
We came to a standstill at a traffic light and Julien looked over at me, giving me a crooked half smile before pushing the hair out of my face.
“No, you didn’t.”
He called me out on my lie, making my heart pound against my chest. I didn’t know what it was about him but he didn’t play games and he didn’t waste words. In a way, with Julien, you always knew where you stood. It was just that it sometimes seemed as though where you stood could change at any moment.
“What do you think you want, Mia? Tell me what you think you want out of this.”
The light changed then, luckily, and he looked away. Cars honked their horns as Julien unexpectedly changed lanes, and when someone stuck their middle finger up at him, he gave it back, along with what I knew to be choice words in Italian.
“Train station is a few more blocks,” he said to me, calm as can be as if nothing had happened.
I nodded, wringing my hands in my lap.
“But I still expect an answer to my question. So, tell me.”
“Don’t you need to focus on the road?”
“I can do two things at once.”
“Sometimes I don’t understand you,” I said, bluntly. It was true. In some moments, he was so intensely into me that it surprised me how he just switched off.
“What don’t you understand?” he asked as he parked the car near the train station.
“Never mind. Nothing.” I reached to open the car door but he grasped my other hand to stop me. For a moment, I would have sworn I saw conflict in his eyes, but it was gone quickly.
“Tell me what you don’t understand.” He held on to me and I knew he would until I answered.
“I know what you are, what you do, but I seem to have come to trust you somehow and I guess…” I paused, searching for the right words, not wanting to make a fool of myself.
“You guess what?”
“I guess I feel hurt when you act cold toward me, that’s all.”
“You feel hurt?” His eyebrows had gone up as if this were the shock of his life, making me feel even more stupid than I already did.
“Never mind. Let’s just go get the ledger.” I pushed the door open but he tugged me back and leaned over to my side of the car, his face inches away.
“I like you, Mia. I think you’re a sweet girl. Sweet and submissive.” With that, his gaze traveled to my lips, then lower to my breasts, which rose and fell with my quick intakes of breath. When he was so close, it was almost too much to take. He had this strange effect on me, always. And yet, he seemed so fully in control, so cool, as if for him, I did nothing at all. As if I meant nothing at all.
Was that where this was going? Was that what I was thinking?
Did I have feelings for him? Is that why I felt hurt at his cool behavior toward me?
His fingers at my chin, caressing my cheek, drew my attention, dragging me back to the present moment. Julien watched me closely, as he always did. He was intense, that was all there was to it. Everything about him was intense and highly charged, almost electric.
“I love the way you blush when I’m close to you.” Sliding his hand down over my belly to cup my sex over my jeans, I gasped when he kissed me hard, like every kiss was with him.
I melted against him, closing my eyes and opening my mouth to him, tasting him, feeling my body surrender to his touch.
With a moan, he slowly broke the kiss and pulled back, his eyes darker, his breath hot. Looking down, he unbuttoned the two buttons at the top of my blouse and pushed it aside to expose one breast.
“Julien, what are you doing? People can see.”
I tried to cover myself but he shook his head and took my hand away before sliding the cup of my bra under my breast and licking the nipple. I looked around, out the window, at the street alive with cars and pedestrians.
Julien dipped his head down and licked again, this time closing his mouth over the hardened nipple and drawing it out, the light, soft feel of his tongue circling, sending a charge straight to my clit, making me moan.
He straightened, smiling. “Here comes someone,” he said, gesturing with his head in the direction of the man who walked down the street toward where we had parked. He was texting so his attention was absorbed and I straightened to cover myself, but Julien stopped me, taking hold of both of my wrists and watching me.
“No, let him see,” he said, unbuttoning one more button and pushing the blouse wider, taking my other breast out from the cup of the bra as well.
“Julien—”
He pinched the newly exposed nipple and it hardened just as the stranger neared our car. The man glanced casually at us, probably caught by the movement in the car. As soon as he saw us though, saw me sitting with my breasts exposed, Julien kissing me softly on my neck, he slowed to look, to watch as Julien licked the length of my collar bone before dipping his head lower and once again taking a nipple into his mouth. His fingers worked slowly to undo my jeans and as he did, I met the stranger’s eye. He seemed shocked at being caught and after a moment, he walked on, fast, just as Julien’s fingers slid underneath my panties and closed over my sex.
“You’re wet, Mia,” he said close to my ear, so close that his breath at my neck made the hairs there stand on end. “Now, tell me what you think you want,” he continued, dragging his fingers slowly out of my pants, smearing my juices on my belly before closing my jeans and slowly redressing me.
“I…”
“You think you have feelings for me, is that right?” he asked, a strange smirk on his face, making me wonder about him. He had so many sides to him. So many that frightened me still. “You don’t, little Mia.” His expression grew completely serious then. “It’s the excitement of something new, something dangerous and dirty. Don’t confuse sex for anything else. We have a deal. I will keep my end of the bargain, and you will keep yours, and after that, we will say goodbye. There is nothing else to say. You know what I am, and I won’t change. Don’t fool yourself, Mia.”
He was a mercenary. I had to remember that.
“Now,” he said, sitting back and taking the keys out of the ignition. “Let’s go get that ledger.”