Eight

The crew had finished breakfast, but Blister waited for Annie to return. He needed to talk to her. He wanted to learn about her family. He’d been trying to figure out a way to broach the subject ever since his conversation with Drake, but things kept getting in the way.

He opened the dishwasher and began loading the breakfast plates.

“You didn’t need to do the dishes.” Annie’s voice came from behind him, and he turned to look at her.

Her curls were still damp from her shower. She was barefoot, in a pair of worn jeans, and a t-shirt that read Dirt is a Girl’s Best Friend. She was out of those tiny, hot as fuck shorts she’d probably worn to bed, but she was still kick-in-the-gut gorgeous.

“I don’t mind,” he muttered, forcing his eyes away from her.

“Okay.” He caught her shrug. “I’ll get started on lunch then.”

While he finished loading, she began gathering ingredients. He had to figure out what to say to her. Now, before something else came up.

“Why are you alone?” he blurted.

Her body froze mid-action, and then she shook her head and continued her task. “Is there really a good answer to a question like that? If I knew why, I’d remedy it.” For the first time, he noticed the edge in her tone. She didn’t like talking about this, but he needed answers.

“Where is your family? Friends?”

“My family is gone. My friends are at DTD. Why are you asking?”

“Because I want to know.”

She grew quiet.

“What happened to your parents?”

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. “Did Ella tell you something?”

“No.”

“I don’t really talk about it.”

“I get that. I do.”

She went back to her work, but he wasn’t finished pushing. He had to know if his mate needed something from him as Drake had suggested. Because if she did…

“What would it take to make you talk?”

Facing him, she crossed her arms over her chest, drawing his attention momentarily to her breasts.

“You want to know that badly? That you would bargain with me over the information?” She raised one eyebrow. “Why?”

Why? Why, why, why. What could he tell her?

He shrugged as casually as he could. “You said you had scars. I was curious.”

Blister shut the dishwasher and turned the faucet off before looking at her again. She’d pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, contemplating.

With a sigh, the words tumbled out quickly. “They drowned. In a flash flood five years ago. They went to cross a low bridge and the current was too much. It swept them into the creek and they didn’t make it out alive.”

Blister remembered that year. Cedar Valley had a record rainfall of more than twenty inches in the span of a month. The many creeks and rivers had swollen to twice or three times their size. Heavy continuous rain was dangerous in areas like Cedar Valley because flash floods were so uncommon, people didn’t know to be careful.

Annie picked up a towel, wringing it nervously. “There. Now you know.”

“I’m sorry you’ve lost people you love.”

He was overcome with a fierce need to protect her. From her past and whatever pain it might have caused her. Up until this moment, he’d only been concerned with protecting her from the future, from any pain a relationship with him would bring. Now there was another side to the coin.

She gave him a sad grin. “You know exactly what that’s like, yeah?”

The irony wasn’t lost on either of them. His family had died by fire, hers by flood. Flame and water. It was oddly serendipitous. He was horror and she was beauty. He was rough and she was soft.

But they were both scarred in their own ways.

He leaned back, bracing his hands against the counter and focusing on the tiny vase of flowers that sat on the bar. Yellow. Something wild that she’d clearly picked on a whim.

“We knew the fire was coming. Knew it was going to be bad. We’d already heard of people on the other side of the valley dying. Bridgette, my sister… Ella’s mom… she was furious with my father for choosing to keep us all there. It was dangerous and she had a brand new family to think of. But he…”

Blister shook his head at the memories. He dredged them up plenty in the privacy of his own mind. Telling someone else was a whole new kind of pain.

“He wouldn’t listen. And he wasn’t the only one. No one in the family wanted to leave except Bridgette and Ella’s father. But see, getting down the mountain was dangerous too. The base was already taken by the fire. We were damn near trapped at that point. There was a fight. Between my father and Ella’s. It was brutal, but Charles was taking Ella and Bridgette down the mountain whether my father liked it or not. They were going to leave in the morning.” He hardened his jaw. “But no one made it that far.”

Blister ran a rough hand over his destroyed face. He needed to finish this fast. If she said a word to him, he’d be done. He couldn’t listen to any hint of pity or disgust that would come with whatever platitude she’d give him.

“In the night, the fire spread so rapidly, none of us had time to act. Our homes were engulfed before we could wake. I was young, and my first thought was to escape, save myself. I didn’t scream or alert anyone. I didn’t think of it. I just ran. But outside, I woke up. Realized what I’d done, and I… I went back in. Over and over, trying to save them. Found my mother first. Dragged her halfway to the door before I couldn’t breathe. I was afraid I’d pass out, so I ran outside for air. I… I… came back in to find her under a fallen beam. Burning. She was burning. I left her there to burn.” His voice rasped to a stop. He couldn’t make anymore words come. This had to be enough. It had to be.

He stared at those damn flowers, shaking like all hell, embarrassment and shame making him weak. He needed to go. Needed to be a wolf. To feel the wind through his fur. To let the animal deal with the pain for a while.

A soft hand landed on his shoulder and he jerked away.

“Don’t. Don’t touch me.”

“Okay.”

He couldn’t look at her. Wouldn’t. But her voice was careful, patient. More than he deserved.

He told her about his family because he’d thought it might help in some way. The idea seemed absurd now. How could any of his shit help her? He had fucking nothing to offer her. So maybe she needed him. Maybe Drake was right. But he couldn’t help her or be what she needed or whatever the fuck fate thought.

“Blister.”

He squeezed his eyes closed.

He was no good for her, yet the mere sound of his name on her lips was a balm for his soul. He needed her so fucking bad. More than he’d ever needed anybody. Even his pack.

He had to go. Just for a little bit. Until he could level out.

“I’ll be back later,” he rasped, marching straight for the front door.

***

In his wolf form, Blister wandered the woods of DTD’s property until the sun began to set. The turmoil within him had calmed some, leaving only instinct to deal with. And the strongest at the moment, was his desire to claim his mate. He was edgy because the entire day had passed and he hadn’t been there to watch over her. By this time, she’d shared two meals with the crew without Blister there to make sure everyone kept their hands to themselves.

It was time. He needed to get back to her.

He shifted to human and collected his jeans and t-shirt from the nearby tree where he’d left them. He dressed but didn’t bother with his shoes, and then walked the path that would lead him to the practice track.

The boys were there, and he didn’t want to face them, but fuck if he could avoid them forever.

“Duuuuuude,” Surge murmured as he approached. He lay on the lowered tailgate of Drake’s truck, chewing on a long piece of grass. “Where you been?”

Blister gave him a shrug.

“Well damn, son. If you don’t even know then it must be bad.”

“He knows where he’s been,” Diz muttered.

Surge raised an eyebrow.

“With the cats, right?” Diz asked.

Surge sat up, brow furrowed. “With the cats?”

Blister nodded.

Surge eyed him. “At Annie’s?”

Blister glared. Fucking Surge had been so friendly with her. Had his hands on her, and she’d touched him too.

Surge’s shoulders lost their tension. “Wait, so… Annie. You were with Annie, not the cats.”

“What does it matter to you?”

Surge’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t answer.

“I swear to fuck,” Drake muttered. “Every last one of you need your asses whooped. Blister, tell them what the fuck is going on with you.”

Blister scowled at his alpha.

“Fine.” Drake sighed. “Our boy’s found his intended.”

Surge stiffened, and even Diz looked uncomfortable.

“Looks like little miss Annie belongs to Blister,” Drake continued.

“That true?” Diz asked.

Well, shit. Yes, it was, but she didn’t belong to him.

Blister gave a quick nod.

Surge whistled low. “Wow.”

It wasn’t a judgmental sound, but Blister automatically felt judged. Like his pack was comparing the monster to the beauty and finding they were a horrible match. He didn’t want that from them even if it was true.

“That’s…” Surge shook his head, lost for words. “That’s fucking perfect,” he said, jumping down off the tailgate and crowding Blister’s personal space. His face lit with excitement, and Blister knew one of his trademark cackles was coming on. “You’ll take such good care of her, bro, I know it. And that woman can cook a mean fucking cheesecake, I swear. Ask her to make you one.” Surge clapped his hands together obnoxiously, oblivious to Blister’s squirming at the mention of cheesecake. “This is going to be fucking epic, man. Congrats.”

Blister raised an eyebrow at Drake as if to say, now you let him down easy. Because his decision to not claim Annie hadn’t changed no matter what his wolf wanted.

“I gotta go,” Blister mumbled, scooting around Surge to get to his own truck.

Surge laughed. “Alright then. Give your girl a kiss for me, yeah?” He laughed again, muttering under his breath, “Blister and Annie. I’ll be a hotdog in hell, that one blindsided me.”

The drive to Annie’s was short and didn’t give Blister much time to think. The crew was gone for the night, leaving him alone with her. He considered going straight to the cellar but couldn’t leave things the way he had earlier. He was solid now, and he needed to make sure she was too.

He walked around to the back and tapped lightly on the door. When she didn’t answer, he knocked harder. Still nothing, so he turned the knob and let himself in.

Annie sat at the bar, staring at a plate of food, using her fork to move pieces of it around. Her gaze snapped up when he entered the kitchen, and she looked almost… relieved.

“Hey,” he said.

There was a slight lift of her mouth. “I would ask if you want dinner but I’m sure you’d find a reason you don’t.”

So sure. As if he wouldn’t hesitate at all. Had he been that unkind to her? He’d only been trying to protect them both.

He came to a stop, as close to her as he dared, leaning over the bar.

“Annie.” His voice was soft, giving him away, and she looked at him, her blue eyes big and cautious.

There was no hiding the emotion he felt. And part of him didn’t want to hide anymore. He wanted to tell her everything. What he was, what she was. How he needed her, wanted her, fucking couldn’t stand the idea of them not together. That the reason he ran all the time was because caring for someone else scared the shit out of him. He was a coward, keeping his heart locked away so he could never lose anyone again. Never fail anyone again.

“You’ve been kind to me,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

She slid her hand across the counter slowly, warning him of her intent. He wouldn’t stop her this time. Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes as her skin made contact with his in a rush of sensation that threatened to take him under. She ran her fingers over the scars on his forearm until she reached his hand. He opened his eyes to watch the journey her touch would take, but she stopped there, her hand resting lightly on his. Waiting.

His move.

He turned his palm up, catching her slender fingers between his.

“See?” she said softly. “It’s not so bad, is it?”

Bad? Holding her hand? No, it was fucking wonderful. And he wanted more. He wanted to feel her lips, wanted to taste her mouth. Cradle her cheek as he explored her. Wanted to know the way her body would feel pressed against his, how her curves would give to his hard planes. Her scent. That sweet, sweet scent. He wanted it on his body, to reassure him she was his.

Shit. His control was close to snapping.

He brought her hand up to drop a kiss to her fingers, praying she wasn’t disgusted by his mouth.

“I’ll take that dinner now. If that’s alright.”

Annie nodded, pulling away to warm up the food she’d made him.

He watched her, his heart full and longing. This could be them every night if he wasn’t so fucked up. Her, moving about the kitchen while he watched, anxious to get her alone later so he could show her how he felt. They’d wake together in the morning and she’d still be his.

Annie set the plate of pot roast in front of him and stepped back. Blister took a bite, closing his eyes to savor it. Damn, his mate was a good cook.

A sound of satisfaction slipped out. “This is delicious, Annie.”

“I’m glad you like it,” she said quietly. “Just put your plate in the sink when you’re done, okay? I’m going to bed.”

She left before he could answer, and he didn’t quite know what to think about her quick exit.

He finished his dinner and rinsed his plate, popping it in the dishwasher. His gaze went to the back door. He should leave, but he was tired of leaving. His animal was unsettled. Needed something. Needed peace.

Blister glanced toward the stairs. His angel was just a floor up. He could go to her. Just be in her vicinity. Maybe watch her while she slept. It would help. Those few hours with her in the cellar had been pure heaven. He could have that again.

Slowly, he climbed the stairs, not sure which room was hers. Several doors were closed, but one was open and he checked it first. It was hers, and it was exactly what he’d expected. A queen sized bed covered with fluffy pillows and a navy bedspread dotted with white flowers. The walls were dark. Gray or blue. He couldn’t tell in the dark where the only light was from the moon spilling in between the cracks of her curtains.

Annie lay in the pile of pillows, looking perfect with her hair spilling over the top. So good that he momentarily forgot about the bed altogether. The bed he couldn’t sleep in. The bed that would give him nightmares.

Blister cleared his throat so she’d know he was there. She sat up, frowning.

“Blister? Is everything alright? You need something?”

“Can I come in?”

He heard her swallow all the way over by the door.

Please, she must know I wouldn’t hurt her.

“Sure.”

Slowly, he found the chair near her bed and lowered himself into it, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. She wasn’t afraid of him in the daylight, but maybe this was too much, him being in her room.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, her brow creased.

Yes. Something was very wrong. They were supposed to be together and they weren’t. He was supposed to take her as his, and he wouldn’t. She was supposed to love him until death, but she couldn’t.

Everything was wrong.

“Please, can I just…” He struggled with the question. He didn’t want her to think he was strange. He just needed… something from her. Something that wouldn’t hurt her or change her in any way. Something innocent. “Can I just watch you sleep?”

She smiled so sweetly, her eyes glowing with emotion he didn’t understand while his heart hammered obnoxiously in his chest.

“Sure. But you don’t have to just watch.” She scooted closer to one side of the bed and pulled the covers back. “We can share the bed if you want. There’s plenty of room and I don’t mind. I’m sure it would be much more comfortable than the cellar bench.”

“No.” It came out much harsher than he’d intended. “No,” he said, tempering his tone. “I don’t want that.”

“Oh.”

Her face fell, and he wished he could get back the sweet expression she’d had seconds ago. Damn it, even in this small innocent request, he’d fucked up. This was a mistake.

Blister rose abruptly and stumbled for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait,” she called. “Wait, please!”

She jumped out of bed and her small hand wrapped around his forearm, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t go. Please.”

He couldn’t make himself look at her. He just wanted to leave. Call his animal and run off the steam. Forget the embarrassment that constantly clawed at him.

Her hand slid down to his, her fingers locking on. He loved her hands. He loved them so much. When she touched him, he felt whole. Worthy. He felt like a man instead of a broken mistake.

“Come on. Come sit. I’ll sleep and you can watch. It’s fine. I promise.”

He let her pull him back to the chair and watched her climb into bed. She pulled the blankets around her. Her face was sad, but she smiled before letting her eyes flutter closed.

Blister swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to calm the flight instinct so he could enjoy this moment with her. This was what he’d wanted since he’d first laid eyes on her at the speedway. It was the only fantasy he’d let himself have of her.

Minutes passed but he knew she wasn’t asleep. Her breathing was normal. He waited longer, but still she wasn’t drifting off like he’d hoped. Why would she, with a monster staring at her?

“I’m making you uncomfortable,” he murmured.

Her eyes shot open. “No. That’s not it. I’m just trying to clear my mind so I can sleep.”

He was quiet.

“I… I like you watching me.”

Her admission made his mouth dry so much he couldn’t swallow. Was… was she telling the truth?

“You do?” he finally managed.

She nodded, but lowered her gaze.

She was lying.

His heart sank.

“You don’t have to do that,” he barely breathed.

“Do what?”

“Lie. No matter what I’ll always prefer the truth from you.”

There was a long pause where she seemed to consider what to say.

“I’m not lying,” she insisted. “I’ve never lied to you. I just don’t know what you want. I offer to let you come closer but then you go farther away. Every time. I don’t know what to do to make you stay. And I really want you to stay.”

He looked at her. Her bottom lip trembled with the confession. Shit.

“You want me to stay?” The words felt odd on his tongue. How could she want that?

“Yes,” she whispered.

Dread slammed him in the chest. “Did I… hurt your feelings earlier?”

She grinned sadly and lowered her eyes. “A little, but it’s okay. Punk says I’m too—”

“It’s not okay. Not at all. I’m very sorry. And you’re not too anything, Annie. You’re perfect.”

She chewed her bottom lip, her gaze still averted. He wanted to reach out and tip her head back so he could see her pretty eyes.

“I think I’m always going to hurt you no matter how hard I try not to,” he rasped. “It’s who I am. I should go.” And stay away this time.

“Please don’t,” she whispered. “You don’t have to.”

He couldn’t move. His mind told him to go. His wolf commanded him to stay. His mate asked him to stay. She was all he cared about. He wanted to make her happy, even if for this tiny second in time.

“Sing to me,” she murmured. “I love hearing you sing, Blister.”

His heart literally quaked hearing the word love and his name come from her mouth in the same sentence.

He could do this. Sing for his mate. She wanted him to and it wouldn’t hurt a thing. Singing was the purest form of expression. He could sing his feelings to her and she wouldn’t know it was anything more than the lyrics of a song. It was safe. The safest way he could think of.

Taking several deep breaths, he forced his muscles to relax.

“Close your eyes.”

She obeyed, turning on her side and tucking her hand under her cheek. He only had to think about it for a moment, and the words he needed came to him.

“Breath comes quickly when my eyes find you. Never knew my heart could open, could feel like this, I never knew. A man torn. Can’t find peace, when you’re it and we aren’t meant to be. So breathe. Breathe slowly. Breathe softly every moment until it’s gone. Breathe until it’s easy. Until you find the one.”

Blister kept going, repeating his song to her until her breathing evened out and her muscles eased. When she was asleep, he drew in a deep breath, finally able to relax. He let his eyes slide over every feature until he had them memorized.

Her words pierced the hard shell of his resistance and left him feeling like he was stuck in one of his goddamn dreams.

Did she want him? Did this beautiful woman really want him even though he was a mess? And if the answer was yes, then… why?

He remembered her scent of arousal after she’d fed him cheesecake. Fuck, was this for real? His angel desired him? Or was she just lonely. Maybe anyone would do.

Shit.

He stared at her as a soft snore split the silence between them.

It didn’t matter what her reasons were. Not really. Things were still the same. He was still no good for her. He was still damaged. He still wouldn’t be able to sleep in a bed for her, much less live in a house like a normal person.

He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. He’d figure it out in the morning. For tonight, he was going to watch his mate and hold her words deep in his heart.