Chapter 15
Jack
Even though I’m fucking angry, I can’t stop thinking about her.
For the past two nights I’ve woken up rock hard.
I stand in the shower, letting the water pelt my back. I close my eyes and all I see is her face, her hot fucking ass, and those legs … fuck those legs drive me wild.
I wrap my hand around my hard cock and start stroke myself. After a few minutes, I growl with frustration that I can’t make myself come.
The woman is tearing me up inside. I just wish she would see the man, not some victim she saved. I’d give anything to experience a sexual encounter where I’m in full control.
I step out of the shower and get dressed. Frustration ripples through me as I walk out of the house.
I’m a fucking grown man. I wish people would let me decide how I feel and what I want. I’m not a fucking child that needs to be coddled. Yes, my life has been absolute shit up until now, but what’s the use of getting your so called freedom, if people keep reminding you of how fucked-up you should be.
I hear gravel crunching behind me, and looking over my shoulder, I’m surprised to see River walking towards me. I haven’t seen her in days, not even for dinner.
I turn to face her, ready to let her have a piece of my mind.
“Hey.” She looks away, still not able to make eye contact. “How are you?”
“Are you fucking for real? How am I?” I hate fighting with her, but she has to wake up and see the real me.
She closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip. I watch emotions wash over her face, and then she whispers, “I’m scared.”
My lips part on a harsh breath. “You’re scared of me? Is this because I grabbed that woman?” I shake my head, feeling aggravated. “I’d never hurt you.” She has to believe me.
She shakes her head and whispers, “It’s not you, Jack. I’m scared that I’ll become my father. I’m scared I’ll lose myself, this person I’ve fought so hard to be, and that I’ll hurt people the way he did.”
Fuck. For a moment I close my eyes. I was so absorbed with myself, I never stopped to think how she might feel. I forgot about her demons.
I close the distance between us, and placing my finger beneath her chin, I nudge her face up.
“Look at me.”
I wait until she gives in and finally makes eye contact with me.
“Cameron was the only father I’ve ever known. I was eight when he placed me with the other slaves. I could easily have given in and let them break me, but I didn’t. I knew I was nothing like Cameron and the others. I held onto the hope that I’d be free one day. Your father might be a monster but that’s not who you are. We have our own souls and we choose who we want to be. Don’t live in the shadow of a monster when you can be out in the sun.”
Her voice is hoarse when she asks, “Do you really believe that?”
I brush some hair away from her cheek.
“I do. We can’t let the past define us, otherwise I’ll be nothing but a fuck, and you’ll be nothing more than the daughter of a monster. We aren’t those things. I’m just a man who loves to see things grow, and you’re just a woman who loves to help people.”
The corner of her mouth lifts in half a smile, and she shoves her hands in the back pockets of her shorts.
I decide to say what’s been eating away at me and to just get it off my chest.
“You think I’m a child. Just because I like to keep to myself, and don’t interact with the others, it doesn’t mean I’m broken. Just because I’ve fallen in love with you, it doesn’t mean you can hurt me.”
For a moment there’s shock on her face, as if she can’t believe that I could actually be in love with her.
She looks down at her feet and whispers, “I’m really sorry, Jack. It all just happened so fast. I was confused and scared.”
I take a step closer to her and lower my head until my lips brush against her ear. “I’m confused and scared too. I know it’s all happening too fast, but if there’s one thing I refuse, it’s to pretend. My life has been one fucked-up act.”
“I don’t want you to pretend,” she whispers, a tear sneaking over her cheek.
“What do you want, River?”
I know we have a long road ahead of us, but I want to walk that road with her by my side. She fills the cracks that have been left in my soul.
“Are you really going to make me say it?” A blush creeps up her neck, and she’s so beautiful right that the sight of her steals my breath.
“What-” I take the final step separating us. “Do-” I lean closer until her breaths are racing over my jaw. “You-”
She pushes up on her toes and her mouth crashes into mine. She throws her arms around my neck and pulls herself up against my body.
My heart all but stops. I close my eyes as pure bliss washes over me. I’ve never felt something so right before.
I wrap my arms around her, and it feels perfect as I hold her to me. I slip my tongue inside her mouth and for the first time in my life, I lose control.
My hands find her ass, and I lift her against me. My cock starts to harden and I just want to get lost in her.
I want to willingly fuck this woman. The thought is overwhelming and so fucking satisfying all at once.
She pulls back and places her fingertips to my lips. “Wait.” For a moment my heart stutters, but then she says. “Just a little slower.”
I frame her face and fight the urge to kiss her again.
“I can do slow,” I say, just drinking her in.