Chapter Three
Olivia
The day after Terrance came by I drove over to the bar to see Dax. I knew it wasn’t a good idea for me to see him. The more time I spent looking at him, the less resolve I’d have to continue staying away from him. I didn’t want to call him and tell him what Terrance said over the phone. All of this shit was making me paranoid. It was also making me an insomniac. Everything Terrance had said and the scary way he had said it kept running over and over in my head. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I would hear him say Dax was going to “end up dead.” I was a mess when he went to prison. I could barely function. I didn’t think I could take it if he died…if he was murdered. The only positive was that Bull was still their leader and if they killed his son, they would have some serious consequences to pay. Even I knew that, so that was what I tried to use to keep myself calm.
When I got to the bar there were about eight of the guys and some of their groupies hanging out. I glanced around, but I didn’t see Dax and I was secretly glad. I knew it wasn’t any of my business anymore, but I really hated the thought of him being with one of those trashy girls. I saw Cookie behind the bar. He looked like he was training a couple of the skanky girls how to mix drinks. It wasn’t a hard job in a bar like this. It wasn’t like people went in there and ordered a white wine spritzer or a Cosmopolitan.
“Hey Cookie!”
“Hola Livia! Como Estas?” I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why a guy like Cookie with skills to support himself and the good sense not to be a criminal, chose to hang around this place. There was no way he didn’t know what went on behind the scenes.
“I’m good, Cookie, thank you. Have you seen Dax?”
“Yes, he’s in the back. In his room, I think.”
“Thanks Cookie,” I told him.
I got a few interesting looks from the groupies as I walked towards the back. I could always tell when I was around that they felt a little threatened by the fact that I came and went through the back. The back was where they wanted to be. Most of them didn’t even care which one of the old smelly bikers took them back there. They wanted to be old ladies. If they could get a young, good-looking one, that would be great. If not, they’d take what they could get. I didn’t think they’d be so envious of me if they knew I had no desire whatsoever to be an Old Lady and I hated that place with a growing passion. Each day that passed, I came to resent that place even more, as if it was the building that was evil rather than its inhabitants.
I hesitated in front of the brand new door that Dax must have put on the bedroom after Terrance kicked the other one down. I shuddered at the memory. When he was in the store, I couldn’t even look at him without seeing the maniac he was the night he’d broken in and shoved a gun in my face. I didn’t know if it was that thought or seeing Dax, but my hand was shaking as I lifted it to knock. Within seconds, a shirtless Dax pulled it open. He looked shocked to see me. I tried to keep my eyes trained on his face and not the ripped muscles right in front of me.
“Hi, do you have a minute?” I asked him. He stepped back so I could go in and then he closed the door, locked it and turned to look at me.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I need to talk to you for a few minutes…”
“Oh? I got the feeling when I came to beg you to come back yesterday you had said all you’re going to say on the subject. You said that, I believe…I have nothing more to say to you.”
I knew he was hurt and when Dax was hurting, he lashed out. I tried not to take it too personally, but my emotions were all over the place lately.
I took another deep breath and then I said, “Terrace came by my uncle’s shop yesterday. At first, he acted like nothing happened and he was just stopping by to chat. Then he got all creepy and said that he wanted me to give you a message.”
“Terrance left a message with you, for me?”
The look on his face said that pissed him off too. I had heard the mumbles about Terrance being a chicken shit. It was these types of things that gave him that reputation. A real man would have gone and talked to Dax about it himself.
“Yes,” I said. “He tried to sound tough about it too. He said to back off with this revenge thing. He said he doesn’t want you to get hurt…or killed.”
“He used those exact words? Hurt or killed?” I nodded and he said, “Did he say who might be the one who would want to hurt or kill me? He wasn’t insinuating that it would be him, was he?”
“No, he made it clear that he was only telling me because he was worried for you. He didn’t say who would be the one to hurt or kill you. But he did say something about his dad being someone that no one wants to mess with and that you shouldn’t mess with him either.”
“Hmm, I wonder what Blake has to do with all of this.” He sounded like he was thinking out loud and not really talking to me. He was quiet for a second and then he looked at me and asked, “What else did he say? He didn’t threaten you in any way did he?”
“No, he didn’t threaten me. Not to hurt me anyways. He said if I didn’t tell you all of this and something happened to you that I would have blood on my hands. It’s all so ominous, like an episode of the Sopranos. That was about all he said though. I tried to get more information out of him about his dad and what the deal was there, but he wasn’t giving me any. He said he did what he had to do when it came to setting you up, but he didn’t want to see you die. He gave me some sob story about not choosing this life.”
“Maybe that was the point of all of this,” Dax said, looking thoughtful. “Maybe he’s just trying to get you back and thinks pretending to help me will help him get back in your good graces.”
“Dax, I saw his face. He wasn’t kidding and it was really about you this time and not me. Please take this seriously.”
“It’s a way out,” he said.
“What? What’s a way out?”
“If they killed me, at least I’d be out of here once and for all. They just don’t seem to want to do it otherwise.”
“Oh my God, Dax! Don’t say that! Don’t ever say that!” I was shaking all over. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack just thinking about something happening to him. “I would die if that happened. I would curl up in a corner somewhere and die, Dax. I can’t even stand thinking about it, or you talking about it. Why are you smiling? None of this is funny!”
“Calm down, I’m only kidding.” I couldn’t understand how he could kid about dying. Sometimes I wondered if he was as twisted as the rest of them. I didn’t think any of this was remotely funny. I was so frustrated that I wanted to hit something, so I did. I punched him in the arm and then I completely lost it. I started wailing on him. Tears began pouring down my face as I pelted his chest and arms with my fists. His body was so hard that it hurt me a lot worse than it did him, but I felt like I had finally lost my mind. I couldn’t stop.
I kept screaming at him while I punched him, “You think this is funny! It’s not funny! I would die too if anything ever happened to you! Damn you!” I continued pelting him.
I was actually relieved when Dax finally took my wrists in his hands and held them so I would stop. He got close to my face and said, “Breathe. Just breathe.”
I was still trying to fight him, not even aware of myself at this point. He wrapped me up in his big arms and pulled me against his chest. He sat down with me on the bed and held me while I continued to cry. My loud wails died down into sobs and the sobs turned into gasps for breath. Then I’d think about him dying again and the cycle would start all over.
The whole time, he rocked me back and forth in his strong arms and said, “Shhh, it’s going to be okay, Liv. Everything’s going to be okay.”
His reassurances were sweet and I loved him for it, but him being sweet and me knowing that I couldn’t stay with him if he was going to continue to live this way would make me suddenly start crying all over again. When I finally stopped, the front of his chest was soaked and my whole head was full of snot.
He kissed me on top of the head and said, “I’ll be right back.”
He went into the bathroom and when he came back, he had a box of tissues. He handed it to me and then bent down to open the mini fridge. He pulled out a bottle of water and handed that to me too. I blew my nose and took a drink of the water. He sat back down next to me and put his arm around me.
He surprised me by saying, “My mom’s going to loan me the money to open my tattoo shop. I promised her that I’d move forward with my life and drop this quest for revenge as she puts it.”
I looked up at him with surprised eyes. I wondered why he didn’t just tell me that in the first place instead of putting us both through all of this.
I finally found my voice and said, “Were you serious when you promised her that?” He leaned down and kissed my lips. I pulled back and said, “Answer me, Dax. Did you mean that?”
“Yes,” he said. “It’s tearing you and her up. I don’t want to do this to you. I don’t like seeing you like this. I’ll stop.”
I can’t even begin to describe the gamut of emotions that tore through my body at that moment. I was relieved and happy mostly, but I was still suspicious as to why he didn’t just tell me that in the first place.
“Why did you let me get so worked up?” I asked.
“I’m sorry, we were talking about what Terrance said and I hadn’t had a chance to tell you yet. Then I made a horrible joke and upset you. I’m sorry, Olivia. I’m sorry that I put you and my mother through all of this. I don’t want to see you that way again and I don’t want either of you to have to worry about me any longer.”
I stared at him, unsure of where to go from there. Unsure of whether or not he was being serious.
“Promise me, Dax,” I said, finally.
“I promise,” he said. That was what I needed to hear. He wouldn’t break a promise. I threw my arms around his neck and I began giving him kisses all over his face.
“Thank you. Thank you.”
He kissed me again and then he scooted back on the bed so that his back was against the headboard. He still had his arm around me and he pulled me up to where I could lay my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and let myself imagine Dax and I having another chance, a chance at a life that was not filled with drama and danger. I was tired from being so emotional and from beating on him the way I did. I eventually fell asleep and he held me all night.