Chapter Thirteen
Laci
The first kiss was incredible. Unforgettable. Even a little unexpected.
Don’t get me wrong, I was hoping for it, but I wasn’t expecting it. So far, Noah has been anything but what I expected. And that kiss… There’s just something about a good kiss that sets you on fire, and that was more than just a good kiss. It was unbelievable. After our lips had parted ways, my brain was engulfed in flames. Every moment that our lips were pressed together, I wanted more.
But as much as I wanted more from that kiss, after it was done and my head was a little clearer, a little part of me felt a touch guilty. After all, just a few weeks earlier I had told a guy—one that is likely a great match for me—that I just couldn’t get involved at this point in my life. My exact reasoning for saying no to him was that my career was about to launch and I needed to keep my head on straight; yet there I was, flying off in all sorts of directions. Wanting things to take off with Noah. And, I really just met the guy—even hated him at first. Mark, on the other hand, was the world’s sweetest human being from day one, and we’d practically been attached at the hip for eleven years.
As everyone sat around the table eating and talking, I excused myself to go to the bathroom just to have a minute alone. When I reached the bathroom and shut the door behind me, I allowed my hand to close over the necklace Mark had given me. I rubbed my thumb across the back of the mask and thought about the words inscribed there. Even at 3 a.m. Even at three in the morning, Mark promised to always be there for me, and I didn’t know if I could expect that of Noah.
Denying Mark only to fall into the arms of another guy was the last thing I wanted to do—or planned to do—but for some reason, I couldn’t help myself. There was just something about Noah, some inexplicable quality that made him irresistible, even to someone who had spent her life around a guy who was hotter than hot. A guy who was sweeter than sweet. A guy who would be crushed if I were to start something someone I just met without even giving him a chance.
I pulled out my phone and shot a text to Mark: Hey, bud, missing you. Literally seconds later, before I even locked my phone, I heard a quiet woosh and looked down to find his response.
Hey, beautiful. Missing you, too. Always. Everything okay?
Leave it to him to rub it in a little bit, even without knowing it. Almost daily, he called me beautiful and constantly reminded me that I was loved, even if I wasn’t quite sure the type of love it was. Deciding that I wasn’t prepared to explain that everything was, but wasn’t, alright I simply responded with: Sure is. Hope your summer’s going alright. :)
Eh, it’d be better if I wasn’t trapped with this boring co-star I’m working with. Talk about a snooze-a-thon.
I smiled to myself, then responded one more time: Not everyone can be the life of the party like me. Anyways, gotta go, talk to you later.
Alright. Remember, if you need anything…
I read the message and then clicked the lock button, flushed the toilet so as not to arouse suspicion, and walked back into the kitchen. I hated lying to Mark and saying everything was just fine, but what was I supposed to tell him? No, everything’s not okay. I just had the kiss of a lifetime from a guy I just met and I think there’s really something there, but I’m not really sure. Basically, I’m confused as hell; I don’t want to have turned you down and made a mistake there, but I also think this could really be something with Noah. And, oh, did I mention how amazing that kiss was?
No thanks, I’ll pass.
I slid my phone into my pocket, sat down, and picked up a wing, trying to mask the fact that my brain was at war with itself. I tore into the chicken like it had beat up my favorite pet, and Aunt Sara noticed. “Woah, there, missy, you act like I haven’t fed you in a week.” I stopped mid-bite and looked at the people around me. Noah was staring at me with a confused glare, Jack was holding back a laugh, sputtering through his closed lips, and Aunt Sara was shaking her head as she took a sip of her lemonade. Realizing I’d probably looked like a total savage, I set down the wing, wiped my mouth, and took a sip of my lemonade. “Everything alright?” Sara asked.
Not wanting to mention that I was feeling like a terrible human being with Noah at the table, I let out a small chuckle and said, “Yeah, I guess that piece was just a little tough. Sorry.”
Aunt Sara eyed me suspiciously and nodded. “Okay, but remember next time, you don’t have to act like you’ve never seen a chicken wing before. And, we do have these things called utensils. You can use a fork and knife if ya need to; it’s not a crime.” Jack finally let out the laughter he was holding back and drank down the rest of his lemonade. I was the only one not finished eating.
“You mind cleaning up a little, Lace?” Aunt Sara asked.
“Sure thing,” I told her.
“Awesome. I want to get into town and back before the crowds get too crazy. Thanks, honey. You ready to go, Jack?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he confirmed. His chair slid out with a scratch, and he followed his mother out of the kitchen. As I heard their voices fade, then the front door close, I gathered up the plates and started throwing all of the bones into a bag when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to face Noah and saw those deep, mahogany eyes of his searching mine.
His stare was intense and calculating, yet soft and sympathetic at the same time. How someone can pull off so many conflicting sentiments with their eyes all at once was beyond me, but his gaze was unwavering. Finally, he spoke. “Something tells me you weren’t just trying to deal with a tough piece of chicken,” he concluded.
“What makes you say that?” I countered.
“Your eyes,” he said simply.
“What about them?”
“They look troubled.”
I’ve always been a firm believer that looking into someone’s eyes will tell you all you need to know about them. From the time I was little, my dad always told me, “If you’re ever not sure what someone’s intentions are, look in their eyes. You’ll be able to tell.” Being an actress, however, I’ve gotten really good at washing my feelings out of my eyes and putting on a façade when I need to. How Noah saw past that façade was beyond me. But he did, and I would feel like an ass if I lied to him.
“They are,” I admitted.
“Is this about our kiss?”
“Well, yes and no.”
“That’s not vague, at all.”
“I’m not sure you’re going to like what I have to say.”
He shrugged. “You can’t please everyone. Spit it out. Even if the truth hurts,” he said, not actually as aggressively as you’d think.
So, I spilled my guts.
“Please everyone? Ha. Ain’t that the truth. The thing is, I hate letting anyone down. Saying no to someone makes me feel like a complete ass, and I had to do just that to one of my closest friends. He gave me this charm and told me that he wanted to give us a shot,” I rattled off, picking up my necklace and showing the charm to Noah. “Anyway, I’ve known him practically my whole life and I turned him down so I can focus on my career, and…”
A look of understanding spread across his face. “And, you’re feeling weird because you just kissed me and liked it.”
How does he know that?
”Yeah, basically. And, screw you for automatically assuming that you’re the reason I’m troubled,” I finished, making finger quotes around the last word.
“It’s not that hard to figure out,” he answered. “I mean, we just shared a pretty amazing, intense kiss, and then you told me about another guy who’s in love with you. I can add two and two and get four.”
I laughed a little. “For a cowboy, you’re pretty smart!”
“Don’t push your luck, Barbie,” he warned. Standing there laughing with him, I suddenly felt a little bit lighter. Mark was in love with me, that much was pretty clear, but he’d always been the kind of guy who would rather that I be happy. If that meant it was with someone else, I could only hope he would support me all the way. As much as I didn’t want to hurt him, it was time for me to do what made me happy. At that moment, I realized that just might be Noah—if I let it be.
I decided to let him.
Dad had always reminded me to read a person’s eyes to see how they really felt, but Mom repeatedly told me it was the little things, the little moments with someone, that made you realize what a person was really like—those were the things that could make or break a relationship. Sure, whatever this was with Noah wasn’t quite a “relationship” yet, but it seemed it could be heading there, and small moments like this showed promise. We could joke around with each other and call each other names in good fun, he was really good with Jack—one of the hottest things a guy can do is show me they’re good with kids—he genuinely seemed to care about the feelings of others, and he understood why I was troubled about our kiss. Every one of these little things I knew could add up to something good. Maybe even something great. And, what better way to keep the moments going than with the one thing that I knew we had in common.
When he’d finally stopped chuckling, I asked, “Hey, do you wanna go on a ride? I know you’ve got to train Greg anyway, so what better way to get acquainted with him than to ride him?”
His expression softened. “You sure you’re ready for that?” he asked. “I mean, I know what kind of memories that has for you and all.”
“That’s very sweet of you to ask,” I replied sincerely. “But I’m okay. I feel more at peace now. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’ll actually be over it for a long while if I ever get over it, but I think riding will make me feel connected to Mom as opposed to sad. Almost like I’m paying my respects to her, and in turn, Dad, as well. Besides, I’m on a ranch for crying out loud, I’ve got to ride. I think it’s mandatory.”
“Well, it’s pretty hard to argue with that. Let’s go.”
Well, that was simple enough. We walked out to the barn in silence, anticipation buzzing in the air between us. This was going to be my first ride of my own accord since my parents had passed. I felt slightly apprehensive, but ready. I couldn’t deny I was glad to be sharing the experience with Noah. Something about knowing he was sympathetic and understanding enough to ask if I was ready meant the world to me.
When we reached the barn, I immediately went for Rose’s saddle. She’s the horse I’m the best acquainted with, but Noah pointed out that she probably hadn’t completely recovered from giving birth, so I went for Stella instead. He made quick work of saddling Greg, and a few moments later, we were guiding the horses out into the afternoon sun and preparing to mount.
“So, anywhere specific you want to go?” Noah asked.
“Who goes on a ride with a place to go in mind?”
“Apparently, not you.”
“And, do you?”
“Actually,” he said, swinging a leg over Greg’s back, “I do. You used to come here when you were younger, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Ever been to Sand Mountain?”
Sand Mountain…sounds familiar, I thought. “I’m not sure.”
A grin spread across his face. “Trust me, if you had, you’d remember. Come on,” he said, nudging Greg into motion. Suddenly, a small wave of something flashed through me. It felt like I was betraying my mom. There was no actual reason for it, I knew she would want me to ride in her absence, but I just froze. Noah stopped Greg and looked back at me.
“You alright?”
“Is it awful for me to be doing this? Riding without her? I mean, I know she would want me to enjoy riding as much as before, but is it insulting her memory to enjoy it so soon without her by my side?”
I had no idea why my emotions were unexpectedly so complex and confusing, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like a lunatic, switching back and forth so much between being ready and not being ready to ride. What is wrong with me?
Noah trotted back over to me. I sat there, stroking Stella’s mane and trying to pull my head out of my ass.
“Hey,” he said. “Look at me.” I lifted my eyes to meet his. There was a softness in
them that immediately disarmed me. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel how you feel; you know that, right?” I nodded slowly. “But, at the same time, you have got to at least try. It’s obvious you’re feeling all kinds of emotions, and that’s understandable, but there are few things that allow me to clear my mind like riding. Maybe that’s what you need—to just do it. Like when you’re about to go swimming and the water is cold. Sometimes you just need to dive in and get wet so you get used to the water faster. Think of this as diving in.”
He had a point. Another of my habits that I have never been able to break has always been over-thinking things. My mind can take the simplest of situations and turn it into a muddled mess. I knew I needed to jump in with both feet. I also knew I needed to stop being so back and forth. The only way to move forward is to take a step. And that’s all Noah was encouraging me to do: take a step. I looked at him and a rush of affection hit me. “You’re right,” I said and nudged Stella to walk. We picked up the pace enough that we had a solid speed to carry us to the mountain.
Luckily, the climb was a gentle path that allowed plenty of room for the horses to maneuver. It didn’t take long to reach the peak once we got to the base of the mountain. As we trotted along, I realized that Noah was right, again. The ride had definitely cleared my head a little. For the first time since I’d arrived at the ranch, I felt free and connected to my parents.
At the crest of Sand Mountain, we looked out over the vast expanse below to find lush greenery and rocks cascading into the valley below. It was a breathtaking sight. I sat on Stella and took it all in. Noah slid down and stood next to Greg, holding onto the reins, then took a deep breath and smiled.
“I never get tired of this,” he sighed.
I could get used to this myself, I thought. “You don’t get sights like this where I’m from,” I told him. “It’s amazing.”
He waved me over. I slid down and guided Stella over as well, and when I got to him, he extended an arm and pointed. “You see that area over there with the long brown line between the green squares? That’s where the ranches are. The long brown line is the dirt road between them.”
“Really puts things into perspective, doesn’t it? Makes you feel small.” I was feeling particularly sentimental at the moment. I’d just taken an emotional ride that connected me to my parents, and I was ready to open up a little. “My dad always used to tell me that I need to keep my feet on the ground and be realistic. This is a good reminder of that, you know? In the grand scheme of things, I’m just a little tiny speck in the huge valley of life, yet I still matter. It’s just a really cool thought.”
Noah tore his eyes away from the valley and looked at me like I was a better sight than the natural beauty below. “You’re not even remotely close to what I thought you’d be like.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that, at first, I thought you were a spoiled city girl. I’ve dated a couple of city girls in my past; they both thought they were the top of the heap and nobody could ever get better than them. You are nothing like that. You’re sincere, intelligent, and caring, not shallow and vain like I originally thought. You’re something else, Laci Daniels. Pretty amazing, actually. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
I moved closer to him and held the reins behind my back. “Are you trying to get me to kiss you?”
“That depends. Is it working?”
“Definitely.”
I stepped up to him, arched up onto my tiptoes, and pressed my lips against his. The reins in his hand dropped to the ground and he put the heel of his boot on them, then curled his arms around my back, bending down enough that I didn’t need to balance on my toes anymore. I mimicked him with the reins I was holding and cupped my hands around his cheeks. He started to spread his lips, and I opened my mouth to invite him in. The kiss deepened and our tongues began to dance around each other. Not unlike before, I felt a passionate flame rise in my chest. I drew him closer and took his hat off to wind my fingers into his soft, dark brown hair. The weight of his hands moved to my hips to pull them against his body as though he was hungry for more.
My heart started to race and I could almost feel his pulse thumping in his chest. Just as the fire began to burn hotter than I was ready for, Stella snorted and bobbed her head, which pulled the reins from under my foot. Feeling the sudden shift under me, I broke the kiss and turned to gain control of the horse again. When I’d gotten a hold of her reins again, I turned to Noah. A laugh bubbled up in my chest at the expression on his face.
He was standing there like something from a cartoon, his eyes closed and his arms dangling with his lips still puckered. “You okay?” I chuckled.
“How are you gonna leave me hanging like this?” he replied in a breathless daze.
“Well, I didn’t want to lose Stella,” I explained, stepping closer to him again. “Or is this,” I kissed him on the cheek, “more important to you?”
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer that. On one hand,” he returned the favor and kissed me on the cheek, “this is definitely what I like more. But on the other hand,” he said, kissing my other cheek, “I don’t want you guys to lose your horse.”
“Eh, she was trained right. Stella here probably wouldn’t have run off, but it’s just an instinct to make sure I’ve got an eye on her at all times. This guy, though,” I said, crossing behind Noah and patting Greg’s neck, “Him, I’m not so sure about. You better do your job with him.” I gave a wink and looked at Noah like I was sizing him up.
He looked me up and down—probably sizing me up, too—and then, in one swift movement, he’d mounted Greg and started on the path back down the mountain. “Hey!” I called after him. “What the hell are you leaving me for?” I jumped on Stella’s back and followed him toward the base of the mountain. When we’d caught up, I asked Noah what that was all about.
He smiled over his shoulder at me and replied, “Instinct. I had to get moving before I made an ass of myself.”
“Not like you need my help for that,” I smirked.
“Ha, ha, always the comedic genius.”
“I’m here all week,” I countered as I tugged myself back into Stella’s saddle. “And just how, pray tell, might you have made an ass of yourself? Inquiring minds want to know.”
“By doing things that a Southern gentleman shouldn’t do,” he called out without a single glance back at me.
My breath caught in my throat. So, he was having the same, not-so-appropriate thoughts I was. Good to know. His sculpted back bobbed along in front of me, and I let my mind wander while he couldn’t see me. I thought about how it felt to have his lips against mine, with his minty, Tic-Tac-flavored cool breath. I thought about the surge of warmth—and quite frankly, lust—that sliced through me when the heat of his skin pressed against mine. I thought about those incredible deep mahogany eyes with specks of amber shining through them in the sunlight—and that heart-melting crooked smile.
I suddenly realized that his appearance, which used to be off-putting, was now sizzling hot times ten. His longer-than-average hair went from “eh” to something I could run my fingers through when I kissed him; his unshaven chin went from an eight o’clock shadow to a ruggedly handsome scruff; and the dusty cowboy boots he favored were now endearing as opposed to the epitome of “hick gone wild.” Maybe it’s because I was gaining a new appreciation for the Southern way of life, which was far less fussy than city life. Or maybe it was because my perspective on Noah himself changed. Either way, his unrefined look had a charm to it that I couldn’t resist.
When I didn’t come back at him with a witty response, he raised his voice a little and said, “I didn’t scare ya away, did I?” The he glanced back to make sure I was still trailing behind him. I forced my mind back to the current situation and replied.
“No, I was just thinking, is all.”
“So that’s why there’s smoke coming out of your ears.”
“Ha, ha, always hilarious,” I mocked, sticking my tongue out at him when he glanced back again.
“Well, ya gonna share with the class or what? What were you thinking about?” he called out.
“Just thinking that I probably wouldn’t have had any problem with you being less than a gentleman when I’m thinking thoughts that are less than ladylike.”
The horse in front of me came to a dead stop. I steered Stella to go out and around so that she and Greg were neck and neck. “Why’d you stop?”
“You’re a lot more upfront about that than I thought you’d be,” he choked out, dumbfounded.
“I’m full of surprises, Mr. Tucker.” I decided I was going to beat Noah at his own game. He wanted unexpected, he was going to get it. I took off. “I’ll beat you back to the ranch,” I called back to him.
And with that, things got interesting.