Camryn
What the hell am I thinking? Am I really considering this? He wants a relationship with me? Me? The chubby redhead with the wild hair, flabby body, and absolutely no fashion sense? The idea still leaves me thunderstruck. I’ve seen the type of girls he goes home with. Blonde, brunette, or redhead—he likes all the colors of the rainbow. They all have things in common: tall, perfect sized boobs, and asses, flat stomachs, flawless makeup, and sexy clothes—the exact opposite of me.
Reaching over, I grab my phone and see it’s three in the morning. Too early to call Kristen or Sarah. I could really use their advice right now. Am I crazy for even considering this? Before I realize what I’m doing, I scroll through my messages until I reach the ones Isaac had sent me after New Years.
Isaac: Hey, girl. Give me a call when you get up. I need to talk to you.
Isaac: You ever going to text me back? I just want to make sure you’re okay.
Isaac: Will you at least text me back?
Isaac: Please, Red?
Biting my lip, I recall how badly I wanted to respond, but was too chicken to find out he regretted what happened. I don’t think my heart could have taken it. The man has always held a place in my heart, though God only knows why. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame the first night I met him—the night he looked right through me to the blonde chick sitting at the table behind us. Watching him walk out the door with his arm wrapped around her later that night had been like getting stabbed in the chest. Why? I had just met the guy, and it was more than obvious he didn’t feel the electricity shoot from his skin to mine when he steadied me on the stool after I lost my balance. At the contact, my gaze flew to his face and my eyes locked onto his dark green ones, but there was nothing—no recognition of what was coursing through my body. When his gaze shifted behind me, his eyes lit up. The pain in my chest hadn’t really been from my heart breaking, had it?
The man has the power to hurt me more than anyone before. And that is what scares me to death. I love Adam, but he was right. I’m not any more in love with him than he was with me. It was nice to have someone to spend time with on occasion. It didn’t bother me much that he spent time out with the boys. I was perfectly fine waiting at home, reading a book or watching a movie with a big bowl of popcorn in my pajama pants and t-shirt. It made me happy to have someone to take care of and cuddle up with at night. The sex wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the mind-blowing sex I’ve always read about. Did I set my expectations too high by reading romance novels? Maybe the world isn’t supposed to shatter and feel like an out of body experience. Adam was the only man I’d ever been with until Isaac.
From what I remember from that night, the world around me exploded into a million stars. Never in my life had I felt anything like it. I had to be dreaming that part. At least I prayed I was. It would be my luck that Isaac would be the one to make me come apart at the seams.
Me: Are we crazy for even considering this?
I hit send before I can change my mind. I lay the phone down on my chest with a trembling hand. Waiting for a response, I hold my breath, even knowing he’s more than likely asleep since he probably flies out today. When my phone dings, it feels like my heart stops. Laying my hand on the phone, I can’t make myself look at it. What if he changed his mind? What if it was a joke? Instead of butterflies in my stomach, it feels like birds trying to peck their way out. Damn it, Camryn, put on your big girl panties and read the damn text!
Isaac: Maybe. But there’s no one else I want to try this crazy with.
Me: What if you change your mind?
Isaac: What if I don’t?
Me: You have no idea how badly you can hurt me.
Isaac: That’s the last thing I ever want to do. But there are no guarantees in life. I wish there were.
Me: I’m scared.
Isaac: Me too. At least you know what to expect in a relationship. I’m flying by the seat of my pants here.
Me: My last one didn’t work out too well, FYI.
Isaac: You’re still ahead of me.
Isaac: If you don’t mind me asking, what did happen between you and Adam?
Me: He realized he wasn’t in love with me like he needed to be.
Isaac: Are you in love with him?
How do I answer that honestly? But wouldn’t that make me pathetic for staying with a man I wasn’t in love with for years? And all because I didn’t want to be alone…
Isaac: Red?
Isaac: You don’t have to answer that.
Isaac: We can wait to try this if you need time. I just wanted you to know where I stand with us.
Me: Until tonight, I would have said I was in love with Adam. Now I don’t know what I feel.
Isaac: I can work with that.
Me: Work with what?
Isaac: You not knowing how you feel. I just want you to be honest with me.
Me: It’s a two-way street, you know.
Isaac: I will always do my best to be honest with you, Red.
Isaac: Since we’re being honest, what exactly are you scared of?
Me: You hurting me, realizing you’re making a mistake…you cheating on me.
Isaac: That high of an opinion of me, huh?
Me: I know what type of girls you usually go for. I’m the opposite.
Isaac: Have you thought that maybe that’s why I want to be with you?
Me: What if the novelty of being with me wears off and you realize I’m not what you want?
Isaac: If I thought that’s what this was, I wouldn’t bother. I’d just find some chick and work it out of my system.
At that, I cringe.
Isaac: Sorry if that’s crude, but it’s the truth.
Me: I know. You have girls throwing themselves at you all the time.
Isaac: Not all the time. Lol.
Me: I’m just scared you won’t be able to resist. Look at Brett. He was in love with Kristen and still cheated on her.
Isaac: Fucking Brett.
Isaac: I don’t know what happened to Brett that night—hell, neither does he. I would have bet good money he never would have cheated. It surprised us all. I’ve never seen a man as devoted to a woman than he was to Kristen.
Me: That’s my point.
Isaac: We need to work on trust issues.
Me: Yeah.
Isaac: Did Adam cheat?
Me: He said he didn’t, but that he got close.
Isaac: Do you think he did?
Me: At one point, yes, I thought he was.
Isaac: What happened?
Me: He didn’t come home one night until late the next morning. He didn’t call and wouldn’t answer his phone. Tried to sneak into the house and went straight to the shower.
Isaac: What did he have to say for himself?
Me: That he got drunk and spent the night at his brother’s house.
Isaac: Did you ask them?
Me: Like his brothers wouldn’t cover for him?
Me: I’m not sure which brother it was either. He never said.
Isaac: You’re right. They probably would cover for him.
Isaac: Adam never struck me as the type, though.
Me: Neither did Brett, remember?
Isaac: Honesty and trust. Okay. What do we need to make this work?
Me: I’m not sure. Distance isn’t going to help.
Isaac: Not much I can do about that.
Me: I know. I can’t hold that against you.
Isaac: Good to know. Lol.
Isaac: Try to get some sleep, Red. It’s still early.
Me: What time is your flight?
Isaac: 7
Isaac: I might as well get up and get ready.
Me: I’m sorry I woke you.
Isaac: I’m not.
Isaac: Losing sleep is worth talking to you.
Me: Have a safe trip and be careful.
Isaac: Always. Now I have something worth coming home for,
Reading his words, my heart flutters like the wings of a bird.
Isaac: Get some sleep, Red.
Rolling over onto my side, I place the phone back on the table. Can this really be happening?
Isaac
I had been tossing and turning for most of the night before my phone dinged with Camryn’s text, worried she wouldn’t give me a chance—that she would blow me off like she did before. But I get it now. She’s scared. My track record with women isn’t the greatest. And the idea of me in a relationship is laughable. I’ve always been the “love ’em and leave ’em” type. No woman since Amber has graced my bed for more than a few hours, let alone the whole night. Not until Camryn. It took everything in me to pry myself away from her bed that night.
Just bringing up Amber makes my gut clench. She’s the woman I thought I would spend my life with. We started dating in high school, and I thought I had it made. She was perfect—petite, blonde, and stacked. Well, perfect to a seventeen-year-old boy with raging hormones. We were inseparable. The quarterback of the football team and the head cheerleader. Our days were spent side by side in school, and our nights were all about steaming up the windows in my Chevy truck. Every guy in school was envious of me, and life couldn’t get any better. I scored a full ride to Texas A&M for football, and Amber decided to follow—even made the cheerleading squad so we would get to travel together. I was skating along in my classes and lived in a house off campus, which Amber quickly moved into. Then, it happened. One bad tackle and nearly every ligament in my knee was torn. I was taken off the field on the back of a cart with a sobbing Amber at my side. Three surgeries and a shit load of physical therapy later, I could walk normally again, but the agility that made me such a badass quarterback was gone. My promising football career was over. To add insult to injury, after returning home from a meeting with the head coach, the president of the college, and head of the scholarship committee stating my full ride was null and void since I couldn’t play, I came home to find Amber fucking Troy, the backup quarterback who had taken my place. The guy had been a dick from day one. He was an upperclassman who believed he should have been starting quarterback, even though I had more talent and heart in my little finger than he did in his whole body.
He had Amber bent over the back of the sofa and was plowing her hard, her screams muffled by the by the couch cushions. As soon as the son of a bitch saw me, he just smiled and grabbed her by the hair, making her scream out, “Oh God, Troy, yes!” before looking over at me and paling. As she struggled to get out from under Troy, he pushed her harder into the couch, hips pistoning as he grinned. I just turned around and walked out, ending up in a bar down the street that didn’t care I was underage. After multiple rounds of beers and shots, I forgot all about Amber and ended up getting sucked off by a pretty brunette in a closet. She offered to take me home, and I agreed. When we made it to the house, I stumbled through the door before pushing her up against the wall, one hand sliding up her skirt, and the other palming her breast as I kissed her neck. A gasp sounding from the end of the hall caught my attention, and I turned to see Amber standing there with her hand covering her mouth and tears streaming down her face. It made me feel good to see her hurting after what she’d done. Pulling back from the brunette, I grabbed her hand and led her past Amber’s sobbing form. At the base of the stairs, I pause, turning to face her.
“Why the hell are you still here, Amber?”
“I live here.”
“Not anymore you don’t. Get the fuck out.”
“I have nowhere to go!” she cried out.
“Guess you should have thought about that before you fucked Troy.”
“Isaac…”
“Maybe he’ll take your unfaithful ass in. Or one of your cheerleader friends. I don’t really care where you go, but you’re not staying here.”
“You can’t make me leave. I live here too.”
“Your name is not on the lease. You don’t get your mail here. I can and will kick your ass out.”
“Please, Isaac, don’t do this,” she pled.
“Goodbye, Amber. It was nice knowing you.” I pulled the brunette up the stairs behind me as Amber slowly fell to the floor crying.
Pushing the brunette back on the bed, I heard the front door slam shut. As the woman in front of me reached for the button on my jeans, I buried the hurt down deep.
Shaking my head to clear the memory, I remember why I became the player of the group. Women were not to be trusted. Or, at least, that was what I thought. After meeting Mallory, Kristen, and Camryn, my perception of women started to change. They were trustworthy. They aren’t all out to screw you over.
I’m not sure when Camryn wormed her way into my heart, but she’s there, cemented deep. The question plaguing me the most: is she worth the risk of getting my heart broken again? And, God, I hope so. Otherwise, there will be no going back. I’ll never trust another woman again.