Texas hasn’t had much of a winter this year. One day it’s eighty degrees, and the next it’s thirty with a wind chill in the twenties. Today is one of those teeth chattering twenty-something days. I’m meeting Erin at our weekly spot at the bookstore, and it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Our local mom-and-pop shop has the best bakery, and since they remodeled last year, it’s the perfect mix of cozy and intimate. Books, coffee, and curling up in our reading nook is my favorite.
“You met Luke in a chat room?”
Erin scoffs at me like I have a unicorn horn sticking out of my forehead. “A chat room? Leylah, this isn’t the nineties. I made a profile on that app I told you about. It’s kind of like Facebook, except it suggests hot dudes instead of friends. It’s supposed to give you a good match. Same for guys, only gives them women with similar interests.” I’m not amused.
Erin is always talking about some new guy. I haven’t been on my A game in the best friend department lately, keeping tabs on her relationships, but she goes through men like I change my underwear. Can’t blame her though. She’s gorgeous with her fire-engine red hair and take-no-shit attitude. My ginger would be stupid to settle for anything less than she deserves.
“Upload your picture with your bio and what you want in a match. The app does some random search and, voila, available men right at your fingertips.” She wiggles her eyebrows and takes a sip of her coffee. “My inbox stays full, but it’s hit or miss if they’re even worth talking to. The unwanted dick pics run rampant on there. I was pretty surprised to find Luke.”
Having been married for nine years, I guess you could say I live vicariously through Erin. We meet up at our spot every Friday and talk about her current man of the week, and sometimes, mine and Ryan’s sex life comes up, ya know, girl talk. But there hasn’t been much to share on my part lately. I wouldn’t say my marriage is falling apart completely, but we seem to be having that seven-year itch two years too long.
Ryan works a lot of contract work and sometimes even flies overseas, which can turn into week-long trips when it’s all said and done. Half the time, I don’t even know where he’s flying to until he gets there. I used to tag along with him, but he doesn’t even ask me to go anymore, and with my job, it’s easier to stay home.
“Earth to Leylah.” Erin waves her hand in my face, back to the annoyed unicorn expression. I didn’t even realize I spaced out.
“Sorry, I’m just tired. I had to work and stayed up late waiting for Ryan to call me when his flight landed. He didn’t make it in till after three.” I take a long sip of my coffee. This bookstore has been here for so long, our dedication to this spot, all the secrets and hardships spilled onto these walls—it’s a good thing walls don’t talk.
Erin flips her hair back over her shoulder and carries on with her bright idea. “I was saying, you should make a profile and message Luke. I’m interested in him, but I’m not sure if he feels the same way, and I don’t want to waste my time. Again.”
I’m pretty sure my eyebrows hit my hairline at her ridiculous suggestion. “You want me to make a profile on a dating app and talk to the guy you want?”
She reaches out with her clawlike fingernails and mauls my phone like it’s her last lifeline. “Here, give me your phone, and I’ll make it for you. You don’t even have to do anything. I just want to see if Luke responds to you like he did me.” She has officially lost it. My little ginger, always in or out, there is no in-between with her. This sounds like a terrible idea, but I’ll play along for my best friend. Even if she is a bad influence.
Two hours later, the deed is done and Erin has no hope left for humanity, just like I thought. Her dream of catching a good one is crushed. Luke was all too eager to “see my nudes”.
We pay for our books—because who goes to the bookstore and doesn’t buy at least one book? —and say our goodbyes until next time. If we’re lucky, we may sneak a visit before next Friday, but with her schedule, it’s not likely unless it’s a quickie. Friday is our day with no interruptions, no distractions. Just us girls with all the time in the world.
Pulling into the driveway, I see Ryan’s truck is still here, which means he either took the day off or he’s late getting to his office. Our two-story townhouse sits in a nice gated neighborhood in the middle of the city. I thought we would have moved on and bought a bigger house by now, but Ryan doesn’t want to leave just yet. He’s too comfortable here.
We’ve been here for five years. We lived in a shitty duplex that was way overpriced, with a landlord happily taking advantage of his young tenants before this. Ryan didn’t want to move out because of its “perfect location.” He finally agreed to move when I all but dragged him here to look at this place. The gated neighborhood is a plus; I feel safe with Ryan out of town all the time. There’s nothing wrong with the townhouse, don’t get me wrong. I just want a house with a yard, something to call my own.
“Have you seen my big suitcase? The one I hang my suits in,” Ryan asks, as he riffles through the entryway closet. He doesn’t even look in my direction in his pursuit. I’m assaulted with his attitude as soon as I walk through the door.
“No, I haven’t. I never use it. Why would I have seen it?”
“Jesus, Leylah. I don’t know, could you just help me for once? I have to be in the office in less than an hour, and my flight leaves at seven tonight.” For once? I couldn’t roll my eyes any harder if I tried.
“Tonight? That’s a quick turnaround. You just got in this morning. Where are you going this time?” Disappointment runs through me like a wildfire when it hits me that I’ll be sleeping alone again tonight.
“I have to go to Georgia for a few days. We’re signing on a new company, so I’m not sure how long I’ll be there—”
“Until you get there, I know.” Same story, different day. I don’t even have the energy to continue this god-awful dance around his coming and going we always do. He’s in a hurry… my feelings are hurt… he leaves for a week, and I’ll see him when I see him. I know how it goes, so why fight the inevitable? I drop my bags and keys in their respectable homes on the counter and head upstairs to look for this long-lost suitcase so he can be on his way.
After the suitcase is found and I’m fresh out of the shower, I sprawl across the bed. Ryan’s still rummaging through the dresser drawers looking for clean clothes. I haven’t even had a chance to wash the dirty ones from his last trip yet. I sit up on my elbows and watch him. Erin and I always say he’s my real-life version of Dominic Purcell—tall, beefy, and rough around the edges. He cleans up nicely though. There’s something sexy about a man in a suit with a big watch on his arm, which is Ryan’s signature look when he’s going out of town. He’s so guarded and hard all the time, catching him in his own little world is a rare opportunity these days. He notices me staring and gives me one of those tell-all smiles of his. The very one that attracted me to him that day we met in the caverns…
I can’t believe I’m doing this. Whoever thought wandering through a rocky cavern in the middle of the night would be a good idea? A group of interns decided to come camping out here, and I had the bright idea to tag along. It’s not far from Dallas and seems to attract all the locals, myself included. They recommended we tour the caverns at night, so we signed up for an independent flashlight tour, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Except on this specific tour, there’s no guide. It’s an “enter at your own risk” type thing. We’re ten stories down beneath the earth’s surface with creepy looking salamanders lurking around the rocks at the edge of little pools of water. I’m slightly freaking out.
My helmet is making me hot and sweaty. The walls are narrow at certain spots in here, and I feel like I can’t breathe. With everyone else a few steps ahead, I crouch down and take my helmet off to try and get some air. I don’t even notice when a small group of guys comes up behind us.
“Hey, are you okay?” For a second, I think I’m completely losing it and hallucinating over this gorgeous man squatting down in front of me. But no, he’s really here, staring at me in all his hot glory.
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t do well in small spaces.”
He’s amused, and I’m back to not being able to breathe again. This time it’s because of him and that gorgeous smile. “You do know that’s what caverns are, right?”
I can’t help but laugh a little because he’s right. It seems silly when he puts it that way. “You do have a point. I guess I didn’t realize how... overwhelming it would be down here.” I stand back up and brush the dirt off my hands onto my shorts. I’m still a little shaky, which makes putting my helmet back on not so graceful.
“Here, let me do it.” I can’t help but stare at his face, his seriousness as he concentrates on fastening the buckles. His fingers sweep the side of my face as he tightens the strap. When he’s done, his eyes meet mine and the smile is back. “There ya go. Good as new. Name’s Ryan.”
“See something you like?” he asks, bringing me back to the present. He’s so smug. He knows what that smile does to me. We may have this weird tension between us right now, but every time he leaves, it never gets any easier.
Dropping his bag by the door, he walks over to the bed till his knees hit the edge and lays his body across mine. He leans down and takes a strand of my hair and gently tucks it behind my ear. With a kiss on my forehead, he says, “I need to get going. I can’t be late tonight. I’ll call you later or in the morning if it’s looking like a late night.” He slides backward off the bed, grabs his bags, and walks out the door.