18
Purpose is a funny thing. Last week I spent my time with a man and it felt like it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing—as if fate had stepped in and taken care of everything for me.
Yet this week, I will be spending my time with a little man who is the reason I am here.
He’s my purpose.
He’s my world. The make believe world I had up until yesterday was just a smoke screen, an optical illusion of happiness.
Cameron doesn’t even know who I really am.
Last week I arranged to take the day off work today. Now I sit in the crowded arrival lounge at LAX airport, deep in thought. I’m an hour early. I couldn’t sit still at home. Cameron didn’t come back last night and he didn’t answer his phone when I called him after a few hours, either.
The more I think about it, the angrier I become. He has no right to judge me the way he did.
He had no fucking right to smash a wine glass in anger because he wasn’t getting his way.
Distraught, disappointed, and unable to go to sleep in the coldest bed of all, I stayed up and cleaned my house from top to bottom in celebration for my two favorite people arriving home today.
My people.
My real people.
“Coffee for Ashley,” the girl calls.
I smile and step forward as I take my coffee, and then I go and sit near the window and stare out over the runway.
I need to talk to him. There’s so much to say. I take out my phone and stare at it for a moment. I’m not playing games. I was in the wrong and I know it. I should have told him, but I didn’t expect to fall in love, or that he would return my feelings. I didn’t know
the connection we had would escalate at the rate it did. We were together for a total of ten days, for Heaven’s sake. Every day I knew I had to tell him and every day I chickened out.
I deserve this.
I click on his name and hit call. It rings and then goes to voicemail. I close my eyes, knowing he rejected the call.
I leave a message anyway. “Cameron, it’s me.” I pause for a moment as I look around. “I need to talk to you, Cam. I need to explain a few things.” My eyes tear up. “Call me back… please,” I push out over the lump in my throat. “Can you come over tonight after work?” I glance around and then realize where I am and swipe my tears away angrily. “See you later, I hope.” I hang up. I blow out a deflated breath.
I did it. I just hope he comes over tonight before I have to see him at work tomorrow.
“Mommy!” Owen calls as he runs and jumps into my arms. I laugh as he nearly knocks me off my feet, and I squeeze him tight.
“Oh, baby. I missed you so much,” I whisper as I start to kiss him all over his face and hold him close.
I feel myself instantly relax and I know I’m going to be alright… because the only man that matters in my life is Owen.
I stand and grab Jenna in an embrace. “Oh, I’ve missed you, Jen.” I smile through tears.
She stands back and cups my face as she studies me. “Are you okay?” she asks.
I smile through my tears. “I will be.”
She frowns.
I take Owen’s bag from him and sling it over my shoulder. “We got a lot to talk about, kiddo.” I smile as I take his hand. “Let’s go get your suitcase.”
It’s 3pm and I lick my ice cream as I walk down the street holding hands with Owen. I’ve just dropped off Natasha’s dress at the drycleaners she told me she uses. I may as well get that out of the way.
Owen and I are eating our way through the city this afternoon, and I can’t stop smiling.
He’s home. My little man is home.
“Ashley?” I hear a woman’s voice call.
I turn and see Margaret, Cameron’s mother standing behind me.
Fuck.
My face drops. “Oh, hello, Margaret.”
She fakes a smile as her eyes drop to Owen and then back up to me, and then back to Owen. Oh damn it. Of all the people to see.
“I thought that was you.” She smiles. “What are you doing in this neck of the woods?”
“Ah…” I hesitate. “I just dropped the dress from the weekend at the drycleaners.”
She smiles as she studies Owen, her calculating eyes rising back up to me. “Yes, that’s where I am heading, too.”
“Nice to see you, Margaret,” I lie. I’ve got to get away from this bitch. She gives mother-in-law from hell a whole new meaning.
“And who is this?” She smiles down at Owen.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “This is Owen.” I hesitate. “My son.”
Her mouth drops open as she frowns. “I didn’t realize you had a son.”
I fake a smile. “Yes.” I look down at the little angel looking up at me. “I have the best son in the whole world.”
Owen beams as he looks between us and swings our linked hands in glee.
“How lovely,” she replies falsely.
“Nice to see you, Margaret, but I’m in a rush. Sorry.” I smile and I nearly pull Owen’s arm out its socket.
She stands still on the spot as she watches me walk away. I get around the corner and practically run to the car with my heartbeat ringing in my ears.
That woman is pure evil.
Cameron
I sit in my parked car at the hospital. I’m just getting back from the children’s hospital. I click on the voice message I rejected this morning and listen.
It’s Ashley. The sound of her voice brings with it a heavy feeling. “Cameron, it’s me.” There’s a pause. “I need to talk to you Cam. I need to explain a few things.” I blow out a breath as I listen. “Call me back please.” She’s crying, I can hear it in her voice. “Can you come over tonight after work please?” I listen as I pinch the bridge of my nose. I can’t stand to hear her upset. “See you later… I hope.” The line goes dead.
I blow out a deep breath and drag my hand down my face.
I’m gutted.
I had plans for us. Plans for us to have a future… and then she just throws it in that she’s done it all already with someone else and there’s a kid as evidence.
I shake my head and with renewed determination, I get out and slam my door shut.
I’ve had a shit day. I had to work with Amber who is now openly flirting and laughing at everything I say in front of patients. I’m about to grab her in a chokehold. I’m not in the mood for her shit. I’m her fucking boss for Christ’s sake.
I walk through reception and see Mia. I quickly turn to go into the elevator, but she sees me.
“Cameron?” she calls.
Shit. I stop and turn to face her. “Hi.”
She’s all flushed with big tits in my face wearing that tight nurse uniform. “Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you in a couple of weeks.”
I scratch my head awkwardly. “I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy for your favorite girl?” She smirks.
I smile. Mia is the most uncomplicated woman I know. We fuck. We’ve fucked for a long time. No strings. No feelings… just as it should be. “Never.” I smirk.
“Do you want to catch up later?”
I purse my lips as I consider her offer. “I’m not in the mood, Moo,” I reply.
She frowns. “Since when are you not in the mood?”
“Since today.” I sigh.
“I can put you in the mood. I’m an excellent stress reliever.”
I smile as my eyes drop to the floor. Maybe that’s just what I need?
“We’ll see. I might call you later,” I reply as I walk into the elevator.
She smiles and goes up onto her toes with excitement. “I’ll look forward to it,” she calls after me.
I get into the elevator and I’m grateful when the doors close on her. At the back of the elevator an elderly couple holding hands smile, and I nod in acknowledgement. Great. Old people. Happy, in love old people. Just what I fucking need.
I want to go home and get to the gym. This day can’t end soon enough. Now I know why Ashley had to have today off. She had to pick up her son from the airport. I feel the fury boil in my gut.
I’m so angry with her, I can’t see straight. I don’t even know her. I haven’t the slightest idea who she really is. There I was being all soppy and honest and fucking pathetic, and she’s been lying to me through her teeth.
The elevator opens and I walk down the hall to my office. Well, I gave the relationship thing a crack for the first time and got burned and that’s it. I’m not doing that again.
Sex is a lot easier than this bullshit.
I walk into my office and sit down. My phone rings and I glance at the screen. Joshua.
I answer. “Hey.”
“Hey, mate. Can you swing past my office on your way home?”
I frown. “Why?”
“I got some shit I need you to sign for the settlement.”
“Fuck, man. I’ve had a prick of a day. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Joshua and I are co-investing in some property.
“What’s up your ass?” he asks.
“Nothing. I’m tired,” I snap.
“Just come in for two minutes. I’ll have the paperwork ready.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine.” I hang up.
Two hours later, I walk into Joshua’s office on the top floor.
It’s just after six and most of the staff have gone home for the day. He’s sitting at his desk when I walk in.
“Where’s this document that couldn’t wait a fucking day?” I roll my eyes as I sit at his desk.
Joshua fakes a smile and holds his pen in his hand as he gestures to the leather sofa in the corner. My mother is sitting there. I didn’t see her as I walked in.
“Mom?” I frown. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
She stands, walks over and kisses my cheek. “Hello, darling.” She puts her hands on both of my cheeks and looks at me. “Are you alright, dear?”
My stomach drops. I never could hide my emotions from her. “Yes, fine.” I sigh.
She walks over and stands near the window and looks out. I frown at Joshua. What’s she doing?
He shrugs.
“I ran into Ashley today, Cameron.”
My jaw clenches and my eyes flicker to Joshua. “Did you?” I reply flatly.
“Yes. She was dropping off Natasha’s dress at the dry cleaners.”
I stay silent as my eyes drop to the floor.
“She had a child with her. Her son.”
I roll my eyes. Here we go.
Joshua frowns in question. “Ashley has a son?”
“Yes. I only found out last night,” I reply.
He widens his eyes. “Fuck,” he whispers to himself.
“How well do you know Ashley?” she asks.
“Not as well as I thought, clearly. I didn’t know she had a son.” I walk over and look out the window at the street way below.
“The child is yours, Cameron.”
I turn to her. “What?” I frown.
She raises her chin defiantly. “I’ll bet my life on it.”
“He’s not. No way. That’s ridiculous—” I huff.
“What the hell are you on about, Mother?” Joshua interrupts.
“You met her before?” she asks.
“Yes, but...”
“The child would be four or five then? And he just so happens to be the spitting image of you at his age.”
I frown as the room starts to spin beneath me.
“It’s… it’s not possible,” I stutter.
“I’m telling you. He is the spitting image of Blake.”
“Well, then maybe he’s Joshua’s, because I wore a condom,” I yell.
She withers and folds her arms. “You’re upset.”
“And why the hell do you think that would be?” I yell. “You trick me over here to tell me I have a son I don’t know about.” I shake my head and throw my hands in the air. “I’m fucking thrilled.”
I turn to Joshua. “Do you have something for me to sign or not?”
Joshua shakes his head as he stares at the floor, stunned. He’s as rattled as I am.
I shake my head in disgust. “See you both later.” I walk out and head down to my car in the underground parking lot. The sound of furious blood pumping hard throughout my body is deafening and I rest my head in my hands as I sit in the darkened car, trying desperately to calm down.
When did I meet her in Vegas exactly?
I try to do the math and work backwards. I’ve no idea how long ago it was. Years, I know that much. How will I find out? I think for a moment, but my brain is so rattled, I can’t think straight. I get out my phone and flick through to the advertisement in the classifieds when I was searching for her. The date was 2012. Nearly five years ago, exactly.
I frown. Mother said Ashley’s son was four or five.
I stare into the darkness for a while as I think.
Fuck.
I start my car and slowly drive from the parking lot to end up sitting at the end of the driveway.
What now?
Ashley
I pace in the lounge room as I glance out at the street. Owen, Jenna, and I have just had dinner and I’m wondering if I should call Cameron again. My son is playing Lego in the lounge room and Jenna is reading a book beside him. I feel sick to my stomach.
Why won’t Cameron just call me?
A car pulls up outside the front of the house, and I peer through the sheer curtains to see the familiar Aston Martin parking.
My heart beats faster. Holy hell.
I quickly walk out the back to the lounge room and I tap Jenna on the foot. She looks up from her book.
“He’s here,” I mouth.
Her eyes widen and she bites her bottom lip.
I put my hands over my mouth and walk back out to the front of the house where I peer out through the curtains. Cameron’s just sitting in his car.
Shit, what should I do?
I stand for a moment as I try to calm down, only for him to climb out of the car, slamming the door as he does. Before I know it, I’ve opened the front door and he is standing at the bottom of the steps.
Our eyes meet and regret kicks me hard.
He frowns in pain. “Is he mine?” he whispers.
I nod as tears fill my eyes. “Yes.”
He stares at me blankly.
“We need to talk, Cam,” I whisper.
“I have nothing to say to you.”
My breath catches, and the screen door slams shut behind me. I turn to see Owen walk out. My eyes turn to Cameron and his face drops in horror.
Owen is the image of his father. The same dark hair with a curl. Same eyes. Same skin.
I rub the top of Owen’s head. “Owen, baby. I’d like you to meet my friend.”
Owen smiles up at Cameron.
“This is Cameron.”
“Hello, Cameron.” Owen smiles happily and reaches up to shake Cameron’s hand, Cameron fights tears as he takes his hand and shakes it.
“Hello, Owen,” he whispers.
The lump in my throat nearly chokes me.
The door slams again and Jenna appears with the car keys in her hand. “I’m going to take Owen for an ice cream,” she announces.
Cameron’s eyes are fixed firmly on the steps in front of him, he’s in shock.
“Jenna, this is Cameron,” I murmur.
“Hi, Cameron.” She smiles sympathetically.
“Hello,” he answers robotically without looking up.
I kiss Owen before he and Jenna get into the car and drive away.
“Come in. Please. We need to talk.”
His eyes finally rise to meet mine, but this time they flash with fury and I’m a little scared to be alone with him.
He walks into the house and I follow as h
e takes his place in the lounge room.
“Start fucking talking,” he orders quietly.
I shake my head as tears of despair fill my eyes. “I don’t even know where to start,” I whisper.
“How about at the beginning?” He growls.
I jump at his tone. “Don’t be angry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be angry? Don’t be fucking angry?” He cries out as he kicks the sofa.
“I didn’t know how to tell you, I lied and said I didn’t have children on the paperwork. I… I didn’t want to get in trouble,” I stammer in a rush.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head in disgust.
“This isn’t about us anymore, Cam. We don’t matter in this equation,” I whisper.
His eyes rise to meet mine.
“I knew that once you found out that we had a son, I would become your child’s mother and nothing more—the psycho that turned up with your kid.” I scrunch up my face, tears still falling. “I’d no longer be the woman desperately in love with you.”
“Don’t you dare,” he shouts as he points at me. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me you love me like this!”
“But I do Cameron,” I cry.
“Stop messing with my head! He’s not mine, he can’t be. I wore a condom. I was there, remember?”
“I know,” I sob. “One of them must have broke. I was on the injection too. I didn’t even find out about him until I was sixteen weeks pregnant.”
He frowns, staring at the floor as he listens.
“Do you have any idea of the shame I’ve carried for five years? I didn’t even know my child’s father’s name,” I whisper.
His eyes rise to meet mine.
“I had no way of contacting you. I didn’t know anything about you.” I shake my head. “My parents were distraught that I was pregnant to a man whose name I didn’t even know.”
He swallows the lump in his throat.
“Cameron, I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to myself for a week.” I sob. “Just one week. And I know it was selfish, but it was the happiest ten days I have ever had.”
“Don’t.” He growls.
“This isn’t about us anymore. This is about Owen.”
He drops his head. “I can’t do this.”
“You have to.”
“I don’t have to do anything.”
“Yes, you do. Owen needs a father, so you are going to step the hell up and be one.”
“Go to hell!” he yells.
“It’s time to grow up, Cameron.”
His dark eyes hold mine. “I will never forgive you for this as long as I live.”
My face screws up. “I love you, too,” I whisper.
With one last look, he leaves in a rush and slams the door, my heart physically hurts my chest.
I hear the car start outside and screech off down the street.
Dear God, help me.
It’s just gone light when something wakes me from my sleep.
Bang, bang, bang.
What the hell is that?
I’m delirious and feel like I’ve only just fallen asleep. It’s been a rough night. I grab my robe and head downstairs to whoever is banging on the door.
Is it Cameron?
I open the door in a rush to find a sheriff in front of me. My face falls.
“Can I help you?” I ask.
“Are you Ashley Tucker?”
“Yes.”
“Can I see some identification, please?”
I frown. “What’s this about?” I go to the table and retrieve my wallet and hand over my licence.
“Sign here, please.” He points to the signatory line.
I sign and he hands me over the envelope and leaves.
I tear the envelope open and pull out the document.
A court injunction for paternity and DNA testing.
My eyes rise as a cold shiver runs through me.
He’s about to get nasty.