6
Cameron
The sweat is running down my torso and the sound of my feet connecting hard on the surface rings loudly through the gym.
The treadmill is flying, but I need to get rid of this fury that’s boiling over.
Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes and then I can stop.
She didn’t remember me.
I glance up at the music channel playing overhead and wipe the perspiration from my brow as I think back to Vegas when I met her.
How could she have possibly forgotten the night that we had together?
It’s seared into my fucking soul.
I’ve compared every woman since. Nobody has ever measured up. Both physically and mentally, they always fall short.
Until her, I didn’t know what I was looking for.
Until I got on the plane empty handed in New York to return home from trying to find her, I didn’t know what disappointment was.
Was it even her?
I get a picture of her in my office earlier and trace my mind for the image I have in my head of our time in Vegas.
Yes, it fucking was her!
She has some kind of golden unicorn status in my mind and she was definitely in my office…
Today.
I turn up the speed and run as fast as I can.
“Are you trying to kill yourself?” Murph asks, interrupting my thoughts.
I’m too short of breath to answer him so I shake my head.
“Did someone die today?” he asks, concerned.
I shake my head, still too short of breath to answer.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Fuck… off,” I pant. I’m near having a heart attack here. What could possibly be wrong?
“You’re a cranky shit, you know that?” Murph frowns.
I continue to concentrate on the belt zooming by beneath my feet.
My brother Joshua—Stan as we call him—walks into the gym dressed to train after finishing work. We are in his office building gym, and it’s 5pm in the afternoon. We come here most days, and although he is only in LA a few days a week, Murph and I are here daily. This is the only reliable place where we get to see each other. Obviously, Stan and Murph work together, but with my crazy work schedule and all of us busy on weekends, this sixty minutes a day with my two best friends is sacred. When they are not annoying the fuck out of me, that is.
Stan frowns as he sees me and walks over to the treadmill to watch me for a moment. Murph joins him and they stand in front of me, both smirking.
“Fuck… off,” I pant. “I’m not in the mood for your fucking shit today.”
“Did someone die?” He frowns. Usually I only get like this if I lose a patient. Thankfully, that’s not my reasoning today.
“Nobody died,” I grunt, exasperated.
“Then what’s up your ass?” Stan asks.
“Nothing. I’ve had a prick of a day, that’s all.”
I continue running as they both move on and do their weights together. This is Joshua’s second workout for the day. He works out morning and night. He’s abnormal, I’m sure.
Why did she say she didn’t know me? Could she really have forgotten? A disturbing thought crosses my mind. Fuck, what if she’s married? What if I found her too late?
Found who? She doesn’t even know who you are, I remind myself. Maybe it was all one-sided. Hmm, it could happen, I suppose. I mean, it normally happens to me, only the other way around. The girls fall in love while I look for the closest exit door.
I think back. She was very eager to get away from me that morning. Maybe too eager.
Fuck, I shouldn’t have let her go. It’s the one thing I have regretted over the years, that I didn’t push the concierge for more information on her. And that I lost my stupid phone that night. If I had known what affect she was going to have on me, I would have gotten Joshua to hack the security footage, right there and then on the spot.
The treadmill finally comes to a halt and I step off it, my fatigued legs adjusting to the hard floor. I’m panting, covered in perspiration, and exhausted. I walk into the bathroom and get under a burning hot shower. I’ve never felt so out of control of a situation before.
It’s very… unsettling.
I stand under the shower and let the hot water run over my head as I feel my body recover from its exertion.
I think on it for a long time and I know I’ve got two choices. I can make a fool of myself by trying to make her remember me, even though I know she really already does, or…
I stare into space for a moment as I think. A smile crosses my face as a plan comes to mind.
You want to play mind games, baby?
Let’s go!
Ashley
Four hours later, I turn the key in the front door. Exhausted doesn’t come close to what I’m experiencing right now. It’s 8pm. Nerves, concentration, and the shock of coming face-to-face with—and lying to—an ethereal creature has all taken its toll. I don’t think I have ever been so tired in my whole life.
“Momma!” Owen yells excitedly as he jumps from the back of the lounge and runs to meet me at the front door. I scoop him up and squeeze him tight. Coming home to him reminds me why I put myself through this hell: To provide a better life for us. To have stability. I want him to be proud of who I am.
That’s the plan, anyway.
“Hi, baby.” I smile into his hair. “Sorry I’m late. Did you have a good day?”
He grins. “I got you a present.”
My mouth drops open in an over exaggerated gesture, and I place him back down on the floor. “You did?”
He swings back and forth with his hands behind his back and nods proudly. “It’s flowers.”
I smile broadly. “Why did you buy me flowers?”
“They are first day flowers.”
I bend and kiss him.
“But I can’t buy them for you tomorrow,” he says seriously. “Because it won’t be your first day.”
“Oh, okay,” I reply. “That’s a sensible plan.”
I catch sight of Jenna hiding in the kitchen as she eavesdrops and I blow her a kiss.
“Do you want to see them?” he asks.
“Yes please.” I smile. My little man is so articulate. He grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to my room and sure enough, there on my bedside table is a vase full of beautiful, brightly colored flowers. I bend to inhale their scent. “I love them, thank you, Owen.”
He remembers something and runs off to his room. “I did something else,” he calls over his shoulder.
I smile and sit on my bed as I wait for his return. Within moments, he is back with me again. He passes me a picture he has drawn. I smile as I try to work out what it is. Hmm. Tricky. It could be anything to be honest. “I love it,” I gasp.
He points to it. “Yes, because sometimes you won’t have a coat.”
I frown. Okay, he’s lost me now. I have no idea what he’s talking about. “Oh, so this is me?”
He nods. “Yes.” He replies as he crawls onto my lap. “Of course it’s you. See?” He points to the squiggly lines in a square. “This is the hospital and you are the doctor.”
A broad smile crosses my face. “Ah, yes, I see it now.”
His proud smile beams up at me. This beautiful child is such a blessing in my life. “Where’s Jenna?” I ask.
“In the kitchen.”
“Come on, let’s go and show her my flowers. She will be so surprised.”
Owen frowns as he thinks and then gestures for me to come close so he can tell me a secret. I lean my ear down so I’m closer to his mouth.
“She knows about your flowers,” he whispers.
“She does?” I whisper back in surprise.
“She bought them.”
I smile. “Oh!” I try to act shocked.
“But I have to pretend I bought them even though I don’t have any moneys,” he whispers.
“Okay.” I kiss his cheek. This kid’s honesty kills me. “I won’t tell her you told me,” I continue. “Your secret is safe and thank you, I love them.” I wink to seal the deal.
“Good,” he replies as he takes my hand and leads me downstairs to my beloved friend. This is her. This is how she operates. My birthday and Christmas presents from Owen all come from Jenna. She has been the stand-in sensible dad to Owen since he was born because his father was hopeless and my happiness is more important to her than her own. I could never repay her for everything she has done for me. I smile as I walk into the kitchen as she serves up my dinner onto a plate, and I kiss her cheek. “Thank you,” I mouth.
She throws the tea towel over her shoulder. “Congratulations on your first day.” She smirks, her eyes alive with mischief.
Owen climbs up onto the stool next to me, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
“Owen bought me flowers,” I reply.
“I saw them.” She smiles. “You are so lucky to have a son like him.”
Owen smiles a proud of himself smile.
I put my arm around his shoulders and kiss the top of his head. “I know. My little prince.” I begin to press kisses all over his face until he swats me away, laughing.
“Stop it, Mom,” he squeals. “Stop it.”
Jenna pushes my plate over to me and I look down at the casserole and mashed potatoes she has made.
“Thank you.” I grab her hand over the table as emotion overcomes me. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you do all you do.”
She smiles warmly. “I know.”
Her eyes glance to Owen as he sits beside me, and then she pours me a glass of wine. “I can’t wait to hear all about your day and your new boss.” She widens her eyes in jest. I shovel the first fork full of food into my mouth. “My new boss is nice.” I gesture to the food. “This is delicious.”
“And?”
I smirk around my mouthful, not wanting to elaborate in front of Owie. “And I will tell you later when I have drunk this bottle of wine.”
Two hours later I am trying my hardest to explain my predicament.
“The forms were really long and I was doing them for an hour. I don’t know why I wrote it, I just did.”
We are on our second bottle of wine at the kitchen table with Owen safely tucked up in bed.
Jenna frowns. “I just don’t understand why you lied. There is nothing wrong with having kids Ashley.”
I blow out a defeated breath. “I know, but I didn’t know I was going to know him when I filled it out, did I?”
Her eyes hold mine.
“I don’t want to be judged and given special treatment because I’m a single mom.”
“You won’t be.”
“I will be. I will get the whole ‘you go first, your kid is waiting’ bullshit. ‘You can’t do overtime because you have a kid at home’.”
Jenna watches me sadly. “But what happens if you like this guy and he asks you out on a date?”
“He won’t.”
“He might. He remembered you. That’s something.” She smiles hopefully.
I roll my eyes as I drain my glass. “Trust me, as soon as he finds out I have a kid he will lose interest instantly and I will become someone’s mom who is not needed anymore.”
Jenna purses her lips as she thinks. “You need to tell him, so if there’s a chance, you can rekindle what you had.”
My eyes hold hers.
“You’ve talked about this guy for years, compared everyone to him, and now he’s come back to you in a weird twist of fate and you’ve started it all with lies. What’s wrong with you?”
I drop my head into my hands. “Oh God, I don’t know. I was flustered, he’s all gorgeous, and the women swoon over him. I just felt so bloody old.”
“Go in there tomorrow and tell him everything. Tell him you remember him, tell him you had a son, and tell him you want to explore anything there might be between you.”
“I’m not saying that.” I screw up my face in disgust. “I want to explore things with you.” I shake my head. “Sounds like bloody David Attenborough.”
She laughs. “What did he look like?”
I throw my head backwards. “I have never seen a man so hot. He could do me some damage, that’s for sure.” I shake my head in disgust. “I’m practically a virgin again.”
“Did you take a photo of him?”
I screw up my face again. “Are you a freak? I am not taking a fucking photo of him.” I shake my head. “Oh, my friend wants to see what you look like. Mind if I get a shot?”
She laughs and we both fall silent, deep in thought. “What are you going to do?” she eventually asks.
I narrow my eyes. “Well, first things first, I’m going to ace up the work clothes and look hot. Second of all, I’m going to drag him into an office and ‘fess up about my lie.”
“You should kiss him.”
“What?” I smirk.
“Can you imagine? You look really sexy and then you ask him to come into the office and you kiss him all seductive like.”
I look at her, deadpan. “This is my job and there are rules that I can’t break.”
She smiles and raises her glass. “I would like to propose a toast.”
I sip my wine and raise my glass.
“To breaking rules in French, in offices, on desks with doctors.”
I laugh and snort my wine up my nose the wrong way. I begin to cough uncontrollably. “Shut up, I am not seducing a doctor in French on a desk.” I cough. “I will get fired.”
“Or fucked hard.”
I continue to cough as I laugh.
“Oh, we we mouser, we shall see,” she retorts in a fake French accent.
I wait for the boom gate to rise in the car park. Its 6.40am and I am preened to the nines. After today I will be wearing scrubs while I’m working, and then there is zero chance of impressing anyone. Least of all Dr. Vegas.
Black fitted dress? Check.
Hair out and straightened? Check.
Makeup? Check.
Sheer black stockings and heels? Check.
Absolutely no sleep and running on empty? Check, check, and double check.
I blow out a frustrated breath. Go up, you stupid thing. The boom gate is not going up. Why? I put on the parking brake and get out of my car. My card got me through the first gate, but then stopped me at the second. Now I can’t go back because I have to get back through the second boom gate.
For fuck’s sake.
I glance at my watch. 6.45 am. I’m already late because I was thinking dirty thoughts about a certain doctor all night and hardly slept right up until an hour before my alarm went off. I push the little red help button and wait while it rings.
“Hello, can I help you?” The male voice comes through the speaker.
“Hello, I’m through the first boom gate, but now it won’t let me through the second.”
“Have you used the card before?”
“No, I’m new. I’m a doctor intern.”
“The card must be faulty. You will have to come to level two in the car park and get it swiped through the machine.”
I frown and look at my watch again. I don’t have time for this shit.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have time. I’m due at work. Can you just lift the gate and I will sort it tonight?”
“No. It’s against policy.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m blocking traffic. If anyone tries to get in behind me, they will get stuck, too.”
“Most of the staff park in B block,” he replies sarcastically.
I narrow my eyes. “Well, not this staff member, so can you open the gate?” I snap.
I glance back down to my watch. Fuck, it is 6.50am.
“Nope, come down to level two.”
Oh God. “How do I get there?”
Leave your car, walk down the stairs, and up the other end is an office.
“I’m… I’m going to be late for work,” I stammer in a panic.
“Seems so,” he replies sarcastically.
Shit!
I hang up, lock my car, and half run to the stairs, taking them two at a time. I get to level two, take my heels off, and bolt to the other end of the parking lot with my heels in my hand, with only my stockings hitting the bare ground. I arrive panting and a skinny guy who couldn’t care less looks up at me.
“Oh, are you the lady whose parking ticket isn’t working?”
“That… would… be me,” I pant. Oh, man, I’m out of shape.
I give him the ticket. He scans it and then opens the gate with a button. I watch on his security camera as it rises.
“You couldn’t do this for me when I was up there?” I snap. Honestly… some people.
“No. I don’t want to get into trouble.” He smiles sarcastically as he hands over my card.
I snatch it from him and turn to run back to the stairs and up to my level, and then over to my car. I’m out of breath when I glance at my watch. 6.58am.
Oh, man. I’m late!
I drive like a maniac into the car park. I get out, lock the car, and run. I don’t even know where I will come out in the hospital, but I hope it’s close to where I’m going. I push open the heavy door and come out into an area I haven’t seen before. Where the heck am I? I look around in a panic.
I see a janitor. “Excuse me, where… is… cardiology?” I pant. So much for me looking good today. I look like hell on a stick now.
He frowns. “Down the other end of the hospital and up two levels.”
My face falls. “What?” Crap. I start to run and catch an elevator. I pant as I try to fix my hair in the mirror, and just before the doors open I glance down to see a huge ladder in my stockings that runs up the whole length of my leg.
“Ah. Fuck it!” I snap.
The doors open and I scramble out. I need to find a bathroom to take my stockings off. I glance at my watch. 7.10am.
Oh my God. Oh my fucking God!
I’m never late.
I don’t do late.
I finally see a restroom sign and run into the cubicle and rip off my stockings like a crazy person.
This day is starting out really fucking bad. I throw them into the trash and scramble out, finally arriving at the cardiology wing. I open the double doors to see all of the interns standing in a group with Dr. Stanton.
Cool, calm, and on bloody time.
I’m panting, my hair is all over the place, and they all turn to look at me together.
Oh crap.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” I whisper, embarrassed as I slide over the where they are standing.
Dr. Stanton’s dark eyes meet mine. I feel myself wither under his glare.
“Nice of you to finally join us.” He sneers.
My face falls. “I’m sorry, Dr. Stanton. I had a parking incident.”
His angry eyes hold mine. “The reasoning is irrelevant. You’re late.”
My eyes hold his. Oh my God.
The other interns all look away. This is uncomfortable.
“I… I know,” I stammer nervously. “I’m sorry.” I drop my head in shame.
“I don’t tolerate late. You need to pick up your act or you won’t last two minutes around here.” He growls angrily. “I don’t deal with incompetent people.”
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“Give your lame excuses to someone else,” he mutters before he turns and walks up the corridor.
The other interns and I all stand still on the spot in shock.
What the actual fuck was that?
He turns. “Are you coming?” he snaps.
The interns all take off after him into a patient’s room, while I drift along at the back, hearing my furious pulse in my ears.
“Ashley, don’t make us wait any longer,” he calls from inside the room.
Dr. Vegas might need a fucking doctor himself soon.
How dare he?