Chapter Eighteen
Lilly
Despite the delicious spread of chicken-wrapped bacon stuffed with some sort of cream cheese sauce, salad, and, to Palin’s obvious dismay, several platters of vegetables, Lilly tasted none of it.
She ate listlessly, only putting food in her mouth because she knew her body needed the sustenance. It may as well have been ash for all that she noticed it going down. Her eyes were unfocused, staring blankly at one barnwood wall, thoughts anywhere but at the table. Torran stared at her, and the others mostly tried to act like they weren’t there.
A part of her felt bad for the others, especially Cheryl. She barely knew anyone, and was now thrust into the middle of a very awkward dinner situation. Lilly wished she could be a better guest and get to know the new woman better, but in her mind she kept replaying the accident over and over again, including Torran’s actions that saved them.
Saved them from Damien. How could her ex have gone so far as to try and murder Torran, and quite possibly herself as well? His threats before had been one thing—she figured he was just using them to try and scare her into being under his control. This though, this was something else entirely. Damien had now taken direct action and put her, her child, and Torran directly into harm’s way. The issue wasn’t going away like she’d hoped. It was only getting worse.
After dinner was over they sat around the fire, her and Torran off to one side sharing a loveseat. He sipped on a beer, and she drank sparkling water. She’d come to grips that it would be a long time before she had wine again, but tonight it was really wearing on her. She could use a glass to help calm her nerves. The carbonated water didn’t do shit.
“We’re never going to be able to explore whatever is going on between us fully, are we? Not with him still in the picture.”
Torran glanced down. “Probably not.”
They spoke in low, hushed tones, so as not to disturb the others.
“Can you prove that it was him who cut the line?”
“Not by anything that would stick with the courts, but I have proof, yes.”
Lilly frowned. “What does that mean? How do you know?”
Torran sighed, looking down the spout of his beer bottle, gauging how much was left. Then he upended it, downing the entire thing in one swig. “I can smell him on the car.”
“You can…what?” Lilly’s attention was now laser-focused on Torran.
“I can smell him.”
“Right. So you’ve got a bloodhound nose now?”
He smiled and shrugged. “Something like that.”
Lilly was left trying to figure out what the hell that meant while he got up and fetched himself a pair of fresh beers. Probably smart, based on the way the conversation was going. One wouldn’t be enough. She didn’t blame him for that.
“You have secrets,” she accused when he got back.
Oddly he didn’t sit down.
“Yes. I do,” Torran said bluntly. “I haven’t lied to you, but until now it hasn’t come up.”
She fidgeted with her glass, spinning it around in her hand, watching the water go up and down as it swished. “Why haven’t you told me, anyway?”
He sighed, still standing. “Because I didn’t want to scare you off, Lilly. I wanted you to get to know me first before I shared my secret with you. It’s a little hard to believe, and I felt like your world had been rocked enough lately, what with being pregnant and the situation with your ex, and then with finding me. I was just trying help you stabilize things first. I swear I was going to tell you in time though. Once you had something concrete to stand upon.”
“You’re making this out to be a really big deal you’re hiding.”
“It’s a bit earth-shattering. But not in a bad way. In fact, if anything it’s probably a net positive for you.”
Lilly shook her head. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Torran was silent for a moment, thinking. Then he abruptly stuck out his hand. “Trust me for a little bit longer?”
“Do I have a choice if I want to find out?” she joked, taking his hand. After the car accident it was easy for her to trust him. That and she was desperately curious to find out what his secret was.
“You always have a choice with me, Lilly Jordan. I never want you to feel like I’ve forced you into anything. With me you will be free to do what you want.”
She smiled. She’d meant it as a joke, but his passionate little speech moved her. “I am free. Right now I freely choose to follow you.”
He took her hand and led her from the room.