Cowl
“We need to talk.”
Cowl had been intent on the eggs cooking in the pan, and the sudden voice and presence of someone behind him caused him to flail wildly, knocking the pan askew and nearly spilling the contents to the floor.
He recovered and turned to find Andria waiting for him, arms crossed. Like usual with her lately, he was confused. He thought that despite everything that had happened yesterday, they’d made a huge breakthrough. She’d opened her body to him.
In the dark, with almost all of her clothes still on, yes, but in the end they had made love for the first time. It was an intense, passionate thing that had only made him wish harder for the day they could be open and free with one another.
So why did she seem to want to have a “talk” now? What had he done wrong?
“Okay. I’m making eggs and toast. Are you hungry?”
The answering noise from her stomach revealed the truth of the matter. He finished cooking the eggs, ignoring the impatient tapping of her foot. For once they were going to do this his way, and on his terms. There was absolutely nothing wrong that he could think of, no reason for her to get as wound up as she was, and he was intent on neither of them being deprived of food when they talked. All that would do was lead to greater emotions, and that was the last thing either of them needed.
“Okay, what’s wrong?”
“Why do you think something’s wrong?”
He sighed. This was going to be rough. Andria was really wound up. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“Us.”
Hoo boy. He changed his outlook from rough to very rough.
“What about us?”
“I need to know what’s going on between us.”
Cowl ate some more of his eggs and toast, enjoying them, not letting himself be rushed. “I told you, I don’t think you’re ready to know that yet.”
She blinked rapidly, looking around the room, frustrated with his cryptic answer. “Maybe. You might be right, but I think I need to know.”
“Why?” Cowl was intrigued now. She hadn’t pushed him the last time he’d brought it up, but now she wasn’t backing down so easily.
“Because. I have a plan, you know. I’ve had everything planned out for years now. I was going to go to school, study kinesiology. Get my Master’s. Then I was going to leave this town behind. For good. I wasn’t coming back.”
“So you’ve told me,” he said around more bites of food.
“I know. Because it’s the plan I wanted. The one I’ve worked so hard toward. It always has been. Even more so now.”
Cowl’s fork froze halfway to his mouth. Was she about to tell him? Is that what was going on? “Why now?”
But she ignored him. “I need to know if things are getting serious between us. I didn’t want it; it’s not what I intended.” She stopped, shaking her head. “I didn’t intend for anything to happen at all, but I guess it did, didn’t it?”
He was trying to figure out what to say in response to all of this sudden acknowledgment of the budding romance between them when Andria started speaking again, rushing on. Was she taking his silence negatively? Cowl hoped not. He was just caught completely unawares by the sudden opening up from Andria.
“Look, what’s important here is I need you to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. Where is this going? Should I be changing my plans, and—”
Cowl pressed a finger to her lips, cutting off whatever she was about to say. “Hold that thought.” He slid from his chair and moved around behind her.
“Now.” He dug his fingers into her shoulders, feeling the tension and tautness of the flesh. “Let me work.”
“Cowl…”
“I said hush. You’re wound up far too tight. You’re stressing.”
“Yes.”
“It will be okay. I promise.” He kept working, kneading the skin and rolling it under his thumbs as he worked out each individual knot to the best of his abilities. “Take some slow, deep breaths for me, and try to relax with each one.”
Andria did as she was told, and he felt some of the tension leave her body. He worked for another few minutes before speaking at last.
“Are you sure you want to know?”
This time there was a pause as she thought about the question, and what the answer might bring her way.
“Yes.” There was a quiet solidity to her answer, and for the first time since he’d met her, Cowl believed she might actually be ready.
What he was about to do would turn her world upside down, and quite possibly put up a barrier between them if she wasn’t ready and open to accept everything. Cowl hoped that wasn’t the case, but he preferred to be prepared.
He should probably tell his brothers what he was doing, but there was no time right now. Going with his gut instinct would have to do, and if for some reason they didn’t approve, he would just deal with that later. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d had to ask for forgiveness instead of acceptance.
“The truth is that I’m a dragon and you’re my mate.”
There. He’d said it. The truth was out.
Andria abruptly tried to rise from her chair. “I can’t believe you, Cowl. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
What? Where had he gone wrong? Cowl’s hands slid from her shoulders as he fought to gain control over himself. “I don’t understand.”
She whirled on him. “I come out here and tell you that we need to have a serious talk, and then you tell me that you’re a dragon.”
“I am a dragon. You are my mate,” he repeated stubbornly. Why was she getting so worked up?
Andria laughed. “You’re not being very funny, Cowl. What’s the real answer?”
He didn’t respond. What was there to say when your mate laughed in your face at the truth? It was a lot to take in, he understood that. But shouldn’t she be at least a little curious as to whether he was telling the truth or not?
The laughter died away. Andria stepped closer, peering into his face. “Are you serious?”
“I told you that you weren’t ready to hear it. Now you understand why.” He tried to keep some of the sadness out of his voice, but it was hard. Even expecting her to scoff and accuse him of lying, it still hurt to hear such biting sarcasm and disdain. She didn’t believe him. At all.
“Like. A dragon-dragon. Big wings, scales, breathes fire?”
“Ice, but otherwise yes, all of the above are correct.”
“Uh-huh.” She took a step backward.
Cowl’s eyes narrowed to slits. “I’m not crazy. Don’t give me that look.” He sighed. “Would you prefer the version where I say that I believe in knowing my life-partner at first sight? Would that work for you?”
“More than the one where you tell me you’re actually a mythical creature, sure.”
“Okay, go with that then.”
“A little hard, now that you’ve claimed to be some sort of dragon in disguise.”
“A shapeshifter, truthfully. But that doesn’t matter. You aren’t ready to deal with the fact that your world isn’t as crystal clear as you’d been led to believe. I understand that, which is why I was trying to shelter you from this truth for as long as I could.” Cowl paced back and forth.
“Is this just your way of trying to ease the shock of saying you want to be with me forever?”
Cowl didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t trying to ease any shock, he was just trying to speak the truth, but Andria didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to open herself up to the possibility that he wasn’t telling a lie. That dragons were real.
It confused him. Why wouldn’t someone want dragons to be real? Dragons were badass. Cowl didn’t care that he might be just a little biased. Being able to transform from a human to a huge creature that could fly? How cool was that? Apparently not as cool as he’d thought, since Andria didn’t show any interest.
Was it possible she wasn’t his mate? Cowl had always been led to believe that a dragon’s mate would have an easier time accepting the situation than random bystanders. Andria’s denial was…unexpected.
“Cowl…”
His attention snapped back to her.
“Is this serious? Yes or no.”
“Yes.”
“Okay.” She walked over to the kitchen counter, resting on it with both hands, her back turned to him. “I need some time to think that over.”
“Take as long as you wish. I will wait for you.”
“I know, you’ve made that clear. I need some space though, Cowl. Without you always at my side. Having you nearby makes it harder to think objectively, and that’s what I need to do right now.”
He shook his head. “It’s not safe out there right now.”
“I’m going to go to campus, Cowl. If I promise to stay there, and to stay in places where other people frequent, will you let me go? Alone?”
“You’re asking too much of me.”
She smiled. “If this is serious, Cowl, then you need to learn to trust me. To realize that I will be okay without you at my back every waking second. I can’t have that. I need to live my own life as well.”
Cowl’s entire body was straining against the idea, telling him not to let it happen. She would be in grave danger. Something would inevitably go wrong if he let her out of his sight. That’s just how the world worked.
Except, she was right. Cowl had to let her go. She needed space to be herself, to exist outside of him. They were mates, and partners, but they were not going to become one person. Each needed to exist independent of one another.
“You’ll stay on campus, you promise?”
“I promise. It’ll be fine, Cowl. I’m not in physical danger, trust me.”
“I do.” It was the truth. He had complete faith in Andria.
It was everyone else that he didn’t trust.