Andria
She finished wiping up the table while Cowl took the glasses back and started to wash them. Andria eyed him in her peripheral vision. Despite all of the time they’d been spending together the past few days, she’d realized on the way over from class that she still knew next to nothing about him. He was a mystery that she somehow had come to entrust her life to. It was unbelievable really. She decided she wanted to know more about him.
“What’s your last name?”
Cowl looked up, glancing around the empty bar. It was empty. “Me?”
“You’re the only worker I have who I don’t know a thing about. So yup, you. Welcome to the spotlight, Cowl.”
He looked around himself, then up at the ceiling. “What spotlight?”
“It’s a saying.”
“I haven’t heard that one before. What does it mean?”
“It means you’re the center of attention right now. The pressure is on you to give answers that I approve of.”
“Oh.” He didn’t seem bothered by that. In fact, was that a hint of smugness at finally getting her attention? Andria wasn’t sure, reading him was hard. So much was blocked off.
He draped a towel over one shoulder as he ran the glasses through the automatic washer, the white almost the same color as his hair. The strong jaw worked back and forth slowly.
“Well?” she prompted.
“I don’t have a last name. It’s just Cowl.”
“Just Cowl. What kind of name is that anyway? I’ve never heard of it before.”
“It’s my name.” He sounded a little defensive. “It’s not from your time.”
“My time? Oh, is this because you’re two hundred years old?” She grinned. “Yeah, I remember that part.”
“Well, that and I was asleep for six hundred years. I wasn’t counting those.”
Andria stared at him. “That’s impossible.”
“Hey, you wanted to know where I got my name. I’m telling you.”
“No.” She shook her head emphatically. “What you’re doing is pulling a fast one on me.” At his blank stare she reworded her answer. “A con-job. A trick. A joke.”
“I’m not joking. But if it makes you feel more comfortable, you can pretend that my mother thought I was an angry infant, always scowling, and she just shortened that to Cowl. How does that work?”
Andria laughed. “That makes a lot more sense. Why not just say that in the first place?”
“Didn’t feel right to lie.”
She frowned. How was that lying? Was she supposed to believe he was over eight hundred years old? Or his mother had an odd sense of humor. Which one of those was more believable?
“Okay fine. Next question. Where do you live?”
He pointed. “An apartment building three blocks that direction. The big one.”
“Like, the one that just underwent all those renovations? That caused traffic hell in the city for months because of it?”
Cowl shrugged. “I guess? It was all done before they sent me there.”
“Sent you? Who?”
He paused. “Uh, my employer, I guess you would call them.”
“Your employer.” Andria’s frown deepened. “You have a job?”
“Sort of.”
“How is it you can do that job then, and still follow me around like a shadow 24/7?”
Cowl grabbed the first glass at it came out of the slowly rotating dishwasher, drying it swiftly, seemingly uncaring of the heat. He set it down on the table between them. Andria reached out to grab it to put it away, but pulled her hand back. It was freezing cold. What the hell? She looked at the dishwasher itself, but the usual heated steam was still coming off it.
“The job hasn’t started yet.”
She thought about that, his answer distracting her from the glass. “They relocated you here?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“When does it start?”
Cowl looked pensive. “They…don’t really know. A couple of years. Hopefully more, but nobody really knows for certain.”
Andria rubbed her fists against her eyes. The entire point of her asking Cowl questions was to help her figure out more about him, to be less confused. Now she’d asked him two questions, and she was even more confused than when she’d started.
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re my job right now,” he stated with conviction. “Protecting you is a full-time commitment that I’m dedicated to.”
“Right. The job.” She watched his eyes for a reaction. “Is that all I am to you? A job?”
There was no flinching when he answered, no hesitation either. “No. I’m not prone to making out with the people I work with.”
The memory of his kiss played strongly in her brain right now, evidence of the truth of how he really felt.
“What—” Her voice caught, and she was forced to clear her throat. “What else am I then?”
Cowl stopped drying glasses and rested his hands on the bar, leaning forward until he was closer to her height. “I would tell you, Andria. I want to tell you. But you aren’t ready to hear it. Not yet.”
She scoffed. “I’m not?”
“No.”
Anger flickered in her. Who the hell was he to tell her what she was and wasn’t ready for? What made him more equipped to decide something like that? This was her life, and she, not he, would make those sorts of decisions.
Of course, I can’t exactly force him to tell me.
“Why not?” She bit back the fire, curious as to how he would answer that question at least. His answer would dictate her next questions.
“Because you aren’t ready to trust me, to open up to me. To tell me why you need a bodyguard to keep you safe from the likes of Jake. Trust is a two-way street.”
She reeled from the truths in his answer, the statement about her own feelings of vulnerability and how they prevented her from telling him what was going on. Whatever it was that was going on, he viewed it on the same level of seriousness. That was shocking, and even a little scary. She needed time to think about it.
“I see.”
Pushing off the bar, she walked toward the basement, determined to put some space between them. Everything was just spinning inside of her head as she walked down the stairs.
“Andria, are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she lied, waving him off. She was fine. Just…startled. Having one’s world ripped apart could do that, and she’d now had that done to her twice in the last year, in two completely different ways, by two very completely different people.
If there had been any doubts remaining in her head that Cowl was different, or that he cared, they were gone now. The question that remained was why. Why did someone like him care so much about a shapeless broke girl like herself? She had nothing to offer him. What was it he saw in her that made him so determined to push past her barriers?
She found a stack of beer bases and slumped onto them, holding her head in her hands, trying to sort out her life. Andria was coming to the conclusion that she’d been sorely delusional for thinking her life had been a mess before Cowl had entered it. The fact was, it had been really easy. Shut out everyone, and focus on her schoolwork.
Then, just as she’d begun to perfect that, along came a practically perfect specimen of a man on so many different levels. He didn’t want much. Just to rip open her brain, her body, and probably even her heart and get to know them better. It was something Andria had sworn off. She wasn’t ready for someone to look at her. Not like that.
An unknown amount of time passed with her lost away in her thoughts, the memories of the past, both the recent events with Cowl and the traumatic events that had led her here. She preferred not to think about them, but sometimes it was inevitable. What Jack had done had left her scarred, and those memories often bubbled to the surface.
Jake’s brother as an asshole of the biggest degree. She wanted nothing more than her chance to put him away for as long as possible. It’s what he deserved, after all. The problem was that she doubted it would ever happen. His family was too powerful, and they scared her. They scared a lot of people. It was all too likely that Jack would go free and continue to be out there.
She’d not seen him since he’d first shown everyone, but that was likely because of his father more than anything. Jack still frequented her nightmares however, and knowing that it would be her own lack of strength that kept him enrolled in his residency with Jake, and worse, out of jail, would always haunt her. If she was weak. She still had time to find that strength.
Cowl came down the stairs. “Everything okay down here?”
She nodded, head still bent over. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, Cowl.”
He didn’t go back upstairs. The wood creaked some more and then he was there, right in front of her.
“You aren’t fine.”
“No, I’m not,” she admitted. “But everything is better when you’re around. How do you do that?”
“Do what?” He crouched down in front of her, taking her hands into his, forcing her to look up and meeting his concerned gaze.
She didn’t pull them away. “Make me feel better about everything without actually doing anything? I don’t get it.”
“Do you have to get it? Not everything makes sense.”
“Then why do I get the feeling you’re not confused.”
He laughed. “Because, Andria, I know what I want.”
“Which is?”
“You. I want you. No reservations, no limits. I want it all.”
She shivered. How could he be so certain, speaking with such utter conviction? How had she earned such devotion from a man she’d just met?
“I don’t know if I can give that to you,” she whispered. “I’m not sure how much of me is left to give away.”
Cowl kissed her hands, his lips smooth, his face clean of any scratchy facial hair, just the way she liked it. His fingers were supple and delicate as they massaged her hands, bringing first one then the other to his face.
“I’ll take whatever I can get.”
She shivered at the throaty, velvety rumble of his voice. For someone so powerful, it was also unbelievably smooth. Just like the rest of him. Even know, his giant frame kneeled in front of her, massaging her with a tenderness that his shirt-busting muscles belied with every strain at the seams of his clothing.
“Cowl, I…I don’t know.”
His hands felt good. So good. Her body wanted more. Her nipples pushed against the fabric of her bra, and she was positive they were visible through the thin fabric of the tank top she wore on top. A long-dormant fire stirred between her legs, though it didn’t burst readily to life like it might have in the past.
A memory of their shared kiss pressed against her lips, reminding him of just how good it had felt. Was she ready to try it again? Without running away this time?
Maybe.
“Just tell me when to stop.” At some point Cowl had leaned in closer, and now he spoke almost into her ear.
Tingles ran down her neck and into her spine. The basement was cool, but with Cowl so close she could feel his warmth. It was so close. All she would have to do was reach out and touch him. Place one hand on his chest, and she would feel the warmth as well. It could soothe her, calming some of the jitters she was currently feeling.
Andria shook one hand free, placing it on his chest. “Is this okay?”
Cowl nodded, his eyes wide, unblinking as they stared at her hand. “It would be warmer if you put it directly on my skin.”
Her eyelids flickered in time with the nerves pounding through her body. Touch him…under his shirt? Mouth hanging open, she nodded. Cowl reached up and ripped his shirt off with one hand, pulling it over his head in a move that was sexy in its simplicity.
He took her hand in his once more, pulling it back toward him. “Now try.”
“Oh my.” Her lower lip was trembling, but the wave of heat that poured into her body from her hand stopped that in its tracks, amazement filling her instead. “How is that possible?”
“Many things are possible with me.” His reply was cryptic, the sense of mystery around just who Cowl was deepening.
Her hand was moving now, sliding across his pecs. She was touching him. Without his shirt on. It was hot. Everything was hot. Even her own body was growing warm, urging her to shed her clothes, to join him in the sinful heat. If she felt this good with just her fingers touching him, imagine how aroused she would be with his body pressed to her.
Andria swallowed, her throat dry as she reached up with her other hand and pulled Cowl closer. He didn’t resist, moving with the slightest touch of her hand until his face was an inch from hers. Big eyes drank in the sight in front of him, the sheer intensity contained in them nearly enough to make her melt.
“Cowl.” The word was a barely audible whisper.
“Yes?”
“Kiss me.”
And just like that, Cowl was there. Against her. His lips mashed against hers, even as he laid her back onto the square stack of boxes filled with beer. Glass rattled as he climbed on top.
She gasped as his mouth found her neck, her spine arching and pressing her breasts up into him. One of his hands grasped her side, sliding up it with painstaking slowness. Why was he taking his sweet time?
Because he’s making sure you’re ready for it. He doesn’t want to do something you aren’t okay with.
Andria took his hand and let him skip ahead, placing it squarely on her bra. She had no idea if she was ready or not, but it was happening anyway.
The growl that answered her actions only heightened her arousal, and she moaned as he licked and tasted her neck and upper chest some more, tracing the outline of her collarbone as he switched from one side to the other. Every inch of her skin burned with heat as he covered her with his body. It had been so long since anyone had touched her like this. Andria had missed it, and right now, it was what she needed.
Her heart nearly stopped when his hand slid from her breast and over her ribcage. He caressed her soft stomach, the lack of muscle definition over her belly not seeming to stop him. Cowl paid equal attention to every part of her, as if they were all equally attractive to him. It was that singular thought that prevented her from stopping him as he moved below her waist.
Fingers stayed above her clothes, but nonetheless Cowl knew exactly what he was doing. Even through her jeans and her underwear he swiftly found her center, stroking it through the dual layers of material, guided by her moans, sounds she hadn’t thought she would ever hear again.
He groaned as she dug her fingers into his back at one point. Was this really happening? Was Cowl really about to make her come? A few minutes ago she’d been sitting by herself. Now he was touching her in her most intimate spot. Clothes or no clothes, that was a big jump. Andria thought about stopping it.
“It’s okay,” he whispered into her ear, as if sensing her sudden doubt. “I’m here. You will always be safe with me.”
Right then and there that was all she needed to hear. Andria relaxed just a little, and the swirling of his finger between her legs intensified, the pressure increasing just as the speed did. By then she was so horny, her body ready to explode after months upon months of neglect.
“Come,” he urged. “I want you to come.”
She moaned, nodding furiously, her hands tightening around his neck, pulling him down to her. His kiss was hard, frenetic, and full of lust. His breath was like hot steam, opening her skin and helping her relax into the moment. She sensed it was going to happen. There was no stopping it now.
Seconds later, under Cowl’s watchful eyes, she had her first orgasm in over a year, splayed out across stacks of beer bottles and fully clothed. Something about the moment lent it an undeniable strength, one of the hardest climaxes she’d ever experienced. It seemed to go on and on, her brain’s receptors overwhelmed by what Cowl was doing to her body. And she was still wearing all her clothes.
Andria wondered what it would be like if she weren’t. If he had full access to her body, with nothing between them. If she were naked.
Abruptly she sat up, the raw passion and lust of the moment fading away. Naked. Cowl was going to want to see her naked. If he did that, he would never see her the same way again. He would look at her differently.
The way everyone else did.
“Cowl, I’m sorry.”
He pulled back, worry filling his eyes. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No. Not at all. It felt good. Really good. But I can’t. Not anymore. Not tonight.”
The big man smiled. “I understand. This was big. I will wait for you. As long as it takes.”
She got to her feet, adjusting her clothing as he backed away, giving her space. “You promise you aren’t mad at me that we didn’t go all the way?”
Cowl snagged one of her hands and kissed the back of it, looking past it, his attention focused entirely on her. “I promise. I’m not mad.”
“Okay. It’s just, I…” She fell silent. How could she tell him what had happened to her? It was too embarrassing, too shameful. Instead she would do what she’d done all along. Remain silent.
Above them the door chimed. Someone had come into the bar.
Andria got onto her tiptoes and kissed Cowl on the cheek. “Thank you.”
Then she swept by him and up the stairs, hoping nobody would be able to tell what had just gone on.
That was the last thing she needed.