Chapter 18
Carter
The sun peeks through my curtains and wakes me up, which would have driven me mad on any other day before Billie. When I wake up, I used to like to start the day surrounded by darkness to remind me that I didn’t deserve the light.
I used to live outside, used to let the rays literally fuel me. Sunup to sundown, I lived on the sand and in the water. But after Zoe’s death, I associated one with the other and quickly grew to resent it. And I felt like I didn’t deserve to enjoy my life, my passion, since it was my fault she died. I still feel that way, but when I’m with Billie, I want to be better for her. To protect her. To make her smile. I don’t care about what I’m missing.
I don’t know how she managed to wake up before me, but the smell coming from the kitchen tells me she’s already cooking. I lean on the doorjamb and hold back a laugh as she shakes her ass to whatever song she’s humming. It’s almost surreal sometimes to look at her and know she’s mine. “Morning.”
“Hi.” She turns around and walks the few feet over to me, then kisses me before going back to the pan.
I help her carry the food to the table, and once she’s sitting, I take my chair and am not shy about stuffing my face. “Thanks, honey. This is delicious.”
She covers her mouth as she chews. “You’re welcome.”
“How’s your mom doing?” It’s only been a few days since she’s been living in Billie’s old apartment.
“Good. She’s tough.”
“She is.”
She doesn’t finish her food and gives me a fake smile when she gets up. I don’t know what it’s about, but I give her a second before I follow her to the balcony. “What are you doin’ out here?”
“Nothing.”
I squat down. “You okay?”
She lifts her head from her knee. “Yeah.”
“That doesn’t sound too convincing.”
“I am. I’m just kicking myself in the butt for not going and getting her sooner. Because the truth is that I could have, but I was just a coward because holding on to hope that she was okay is what kept me going. But if I were to have gone there on my own and found out something happened to her, I would have been lost and completely alone.”
“Don’t do that to yourself.”
“It’s a lot of guilt to hold on to, and I know you’d feel the same way if the roles were reversed.”
I lean on the railing. “Maybe. But honey, everything is good now. Don’t look back; it makes moving forward almost impossible.”
“You’re right. And if it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be able to. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for everything that you’ve done.”
“Be you. That’s all I want from you. I might have done things for you, but what you’ve done for me is something priceless, and you don’t even know.”
“It still doesn’t feel right.”
“It is. Nothing in the world is more right than what we have.”
* * *
It’s been a couple of weeks since Sally’s been back. I’m about to head out the door for work, but before I go, I’m gonna have to bend my girl over my knee and spank the attitude right out of her.
“I’m going.”
“You’re not.”
“Carter. I’m going.” Billie crosses her arms and taps her foot. “I love you, but you can’t tell me what to do.”
She knows she can get away with almost anything when she tells me that, but not this time. “It’s stupid.”
“I’m not stupid.”
“I didn’t say you were stupid. I said it was stupid. The idea that you’d go interview for a dead-end waitressing job when you can work at one of my dad’s restaurants is stupid.”
Her face falls, and she drops her arms. “I can’t keep moochin’ off you.”
“Jesus Christ.” I run my hands through my hair. “You’re not mooching. Your mom isn’t mooching. I wish you two stubborn ladies would understand that.”
“Okay, take a second to look at things from my perspective. Seriously look at them and tell me you wouldn’t feel the way I do.”
I pause for a beat. “I get it. And if you really want to work, I’m not gonna stop you. I told you before I don’t want to control you. I’m simply asking—”
“You didn’t ask. You told.”
“Touché. But I’m asking now. Will you please consider talking to my mom? She’s the one who hires all the support staff so she’ll know if any positions are open. You filled out an application there a while ago but I told her to wait to talk to you about it until you were ready. I know for sure the hostess at the one we made fried chicken at just had a baby, so they’re short staffed there.”
“I could do that.”
Victory. I pump my fist in the air—mentally, of course. “Sweet. Call my mom after I leave. And please understand, I just want you safe. And after what we’ve been through and the last place you worked where your boss fucking put his hands on you, I like knowing I don’t have to worry about any of that shit.”
I love when her face goes all soft. “I’ll call your mom.”
“Thank you.” I pull her to me and kiss her long and hard. When I finally come up for air, I don’t let her go. “And while you’re talking to her, ask her about your mom, too. If she was the one who taught you how to cook, she’d be an asset to the kitchen.”
Her chin quivers, and she face plants into my chest. “I love you so much, Carter Cane.”
Billie
After he left this morning, I did, in fact, call his mom. She told me about the hostess job, and I jumped on it. Starting next week, she’s going to put me on the schedule. And as far as my mom goes, Susie said they’re always looking for talent for the kitchen, so they’d love to have her stop by to talk and do a sort of casual interview. Things are so looking up.
“Where did you find that?” I just got done drying my hair when he walks into the bedroom holding my little vibrator.
“How long have you had this?” He closes the door to his bedroom, or I guess our room since I’m officially moved in now.
I walk backward, and my legs hit the bed where I fall to my butt. “I don’t know.”
“You’ve been holding out on me.”
“What? No. I’m not gonna tell you about that.”
“Why not? It’s hot.”
My gaze drops from his eyes to his hands, then down to the tent in his pajama pants. I love that he gets like this for me, but we did it last night… well technically, we did it twice last night, one of them was with me on my knees, thanking him for being so amazing. The other was in bed. And we did it again this morning before we even rolled out of bed. I don’t know how he can be ready to go already. “How is that hot?”
He takes a step closer. “You know.”
“Where did you find it?”
“Where you hid it.”
I clamp my mouth closed.
“Why’d you hide it, honey?”
“Can we not?”
“Oh, we are. Take your clothes off.”
I feel that familiar tingle between my legs, but I hesitate.
“Off, Billie.”
My fingers tremble when I reach for the hem of my dress. “Carter.”
“Off.”
Pulling the material over my head, I’m left in my bra and panties. I know he wants them all gone, so I reach behind me and unhook my bra, then loop my thumbs at my waist and tug my thong down.
“Lie back.”
I crab walk on the bed until my head hits the headboard.
“Open your legs.”
My knees drift apart at the husky thickness of his voice. He drops his pants and comes to kneel between my thighs. “I wanna watch.”
Oh, God. I don’t know if I can.
“But I also wanna make you go crazy, so I’m torn.” He grabs his cock and slowly jerks it. Dropping his butt to his heels, he pulls me up so my lower back is resting on the top of his thighs. “I think I’m gonna go with option two.”
Then he flicks the button on my little bullet. “Carter.”
“Tell me…” He sets the cool metal on my knee, then trails it down my thigh until he reaches the apex. “You used this on your clit, but what did you have fillin’ you up, baby?”
I groan when he brushes it over my folds and whine when he trails it up my other thigh.
“Answer me, honey. You use your fingers? Another toy?”
“No… nothing.”
“Hmm.” He drops it next to me and uses his hands to pull me farther up his lap, then without warning onto his dick.
“Oh, my Lord.”
His hands spread me open, and he uses his thumbs, one after the other, to tease my clit. My hips move on their own. “That’s it.” I watch as he grabs my bullet, and in slow motion, he brings it between my legs.
“Shit.” I gasp and push my heels into the mattress.
“There ya go, honey. Work yourself on my cock.”
My back arches, and he slides inside of me, the thickness of him filling me makes using the bullet better than ever. My thighs shake, and he takes it off. “Nooo.”
“Patience, baby.”
“Carter, I was so close.”
“I know.”
He puts it back, and it builds almost instantly. My breath hitches, and he takes it away while I grab the sheets in my fists.
He does the same thing two more times, and I’ve finally had enough. I pull myself up, then grab his shoulder and push him to the bed, where I ride him.
“Fuckin’ hell.”
“Carter.”
“Fuck. Faster, baby. Ride me.”
I fall to his chest, and he lifts me up by my hips, using my body to fuck him. “Oh, my…”
He grunts, the harsh pants coming heavier and heavier.
“I’m… I’m gonna…” I don’t get to finish my sentence because my entire body locks up as white-hot heat tears through me from the inside out. As if I’ve been electrocuted, I shake uncontrollably, and Carter groans, long and low in my ear, slamming me onto him, then holding himself inside me, his fingers digging into my skin.
After a moment, his arms fall off me and land on the mattress. “You okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Love havin’ you on top of me all naked and sated, but there’s a bullet vibrating a little too close to my ass, so I need you to roll off me.”
I push up and smile at him. “You came hard because it was down there.”
“Off, babe.”
“I’m gonna remember that.”
Rolling his eyes, he lifts me off him, gently tosses me on the bed, then stands up. When he grabs the toy to shut it off, I ask, “You sure you’re ready to part with it?”
“That’s it.”
Then he drops it to the ground and grabs me by the ankles, yanking me to the end of the bed. I laugh when he flips me over and smacks my butt. “Stop it.”
“Let’s go take a shower. You need to wash some of that attitude off, baby.”