“Turn it off, please!”
“I can’t unsee whatever the hell I just saw.”
“My eyes, my fucking eyes!”
“This baby is staying in here, like, forever.”
“Holy shiiit …”
“David, call my ob-gyn and schedule a c-section. Now.”
“OH, MY FUCKING GOD, STOP.”
“That thing is going to kill her!”
“For the love of all that’s holy, listen to these distressed women and turn this fucking horror movie off, lady! Then burn it before you ruin anyone else’s future family trees,” Millie all but yells into the face of the birthing class instructor, Jane. Then she takes matters into her own hands by shutting the DVD player off at the power outlet when the woman just stands there with a bored look on her face as if she’s heard it all before—which is highly likely.
Those gruesome images have my legs now firmly closed and completely doubting my faith in my body’s ability to do what it needs to do in a couple of months’ time. They should show this shit in sex-ed. Women probably wouldn’t lose their virginity until they’re at least forty years old.
My phone buzzes, so while the outrage carries on around me, I dig it out of my bag next to me to see who it is.
Seb: How goes the birthing class?
My lips curve into a smile. He started texting me the day after the Halloween festival. He keeps it strictly friendly, as promised. And I kind of enjoy having another person to talk to. It certainly helps take my mind off other more emotionally exhausting thoughts and feelings.
I look around, making sure Jane, our instructor, still has her attention elsewhere before responding. Then I remember I left high school years ago, and she can’t confiscate my phone.
Me: Trust me. You really don’t wanna know.
Seb: That bad, huh? Meet me in the cafeteria on the first floor when you’re done? Just finished my shift.
I bite my thumbnail and look around again. Thinking. Friends hang out. Just because he told me he’s interested in more doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong, does it? I guess I’m more worried about leading him on than anything else.
Like a freaking mind reader, my phone buzzes before I’ve formulated a response.
Seb: Friends, Liv. Remember?
Me: Sure. This is supposed to wrap up in 5. Meet you then.
I tuck my phone away as Millie comes rushing over. Huffing and puffing, she takes a seat on the yoga mat beside me. “Un-freaking-believable. I’m never having children, ever. But you poor suckers are already knocked up. What the hell is she thinking, showing you that shit?”
I don’t respond because Jane decides to try to calm everyone down.
“Our bodies are marvelous creations. To create life, grow it within the womb, and give birth is something we’ve been doing since the dawn of time. Your precious bundle of joy will make it all worthwhile. Remember that.” She claps her hands together. “I’ll see you ladies next week.”
“Not fucking likely,” I grumble under my breath before trying to stand, which is a little hard being that I’m on the floor and all. I’m about to hop onto my knees and push myself up when Millie shoves a hand in front of my face. “Here, Mama. We’ll get our Google on or something if you don’t wanna come back. I know I definitely don’t.”
I nod and give her a thankful smile before letting her hoist me up. “This is going to start becoming difficult now. What if I get stuck in the bathtub or something?” It seemed like I woke up a week ago and my stomach had literally doubled in size. My new beach-ball-size version was indeed expected, but it’s still a shock to look down and know I won’t be seeing my vagina for at least a few more months.
“No more baths and take your phone in with you. Keep it on the vanity while you shower. On second thought, maybe I should just move in. I’m getting all these nightmarish images in my head now.” She visibly shivers.
The thought is sweet and all. But as much as I love Mil, there’s no way in hell I could live with her. “I’ll be fine. I will do the phone thing, though.”
She nods, and thankfully, that seems to appease her. I give the instructor a wave as we head for the door, not waiting for another speech about the woman’s body and all the glories of childbirth. Or wanting to have to explain why she might not see me for a few weeks.
Or ever again.
I place a hand over my belly and rub when I feel a kick then pick up my bag and loop it around my other elbow before we start walking down the fluorescent hallway somewhere within the maze of St. Margaret’s Hospital. Images of what my poor vagina is going to be subjected to flash through my mind on the way. I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to eat a thing.
Millie stops near a set of elevators and presses the down button.
“I’ve gotta get my hustle on,” she says as she checks the time on her phone that she pulls out of a hidden pocket in her scrubs. “My shift starts in fifteen, and I need to hit the staff room and eat my lunch. You okay heading home?”
The elevator dings, and we wait for a couple of people to get off before hopping on. I hit the button for the first floor while Millie hits floor three. “I’m actually going to meet Seb for something to eat before I head home. If I can stomach it after all that.” I glance over at her in surprise when she doesn’t say anything, only to find a smug smile on her face.
“Mil …”
“What? I didn’t say a damn thing.”
The elevator dings, signaling her stop. “All righty, have fun. I’ll call you later. Bye, little nugget,” she says as she rubs my tummy, keeping that annoying smile on her face until the doors close and the elevator is on the move once more. When I’ve stepped out on the first floor and start walking toward the cafeteria, I start rethinking my decision, and I instantly start feeling pretty stupid. It isn’t like we haven’t hung out quite a few times already. But this will be the first time it’s an arranged thing.
Friends hang out, no biggie. I’ve just never had any guy friends who I’ve planned to hang out with like this. And never as good looking, I think as soon as I walk into the cafeteria and see him sitting in the corner, looking straight at me with a small grin pulling at those perfect lips of his. My stomach flutters, which I easily pass off as the baby moving. Or gas. Never know these days.
“Hey,” he greets me while standing and pulling a chair out for me. God, he’s a sweetheart. I slide into it after returning the greeting and a thank you.
He sits back down before saying, “I hope you don’t take offense to this or anything, but you’ve seriously popped since I last saw you a few weeks ago.”
I laugh a little. “No offense taken at all. I knew it would happen eventually with a tiny human growing in there and all. But it shocked the crap out of me, too. I swear it was like I woke up one morning last week and boom! Beach ball belly.” I give said belly a rub.
“Kicking?” he asks.
“Yep, I’ve been pretty blessed that he or she decides to move around mostly when I’m up. They must know that Mama needs her beauty sleep while she can still get it. Or I’m just a deep sleeper.”
He looks at my stomach for a while, seeming almost lost in thought with a tiny fond smile appearing on his face. He looks back up at me and smiles bashfully like he’s been busted doing something wrong.
“It’s a good look on you. I never understood why people say that pregnant women glow, but now, I get it.”
I start to blush, but he thankfully keeps talking.
“So it’s just you? You don’t have any other people around for support?”
“Uh, well, I wouldn’t let Millie hear you say that.” I laugh dryly. “But yeah, just me otherwise. My bosses are great, though. They even gave me today off so I could try out the horror that is birthing class. They can’t all be that bad, though, can they? I mean women still show up. Maybe I just got really damn unlucky.”
He laughs that deep husky laugh. “Let me guess, the video?”
“Oh, yeah. One woman was having her husband schedule a c-section with her ob-gyn as we were leaving.”
“No way.” He keeps laughing.
I grin and nod about to get up to get something to eat.
“I got it. What do you feel like?”
“It’s okay. I was just going to grab a sandwich,” I say. Placing my hands on the table and starting to scoot my chair back, I’m halted by a large, warm, firm hand on my shoulder.
“What kind?”
I look up at him and gulp, his face resolute. Okay, so he’s going to buy my lunch whether I like it or not. I mentally shrug. I’m actually much hungrier than I thought I’d be, so I’m not going to kick up a stink over it.
“Just a grilled cheese with a side of fries, if they have any, and a water. Thank you.”
He nods before removing his hand and heading to the small line.
I pull out my phone while he’s gone, scrolling mindlessly through social media until I come across a status update from Zeke that has my heart dropping into my stomach. What the fuck? I haven’t seen him active online since we broke up. I’d know; I’ve stalked enough. But sure enough, he’s been tagged at a movie theater in Crestal Lake, about an hour’s drive from here.
That’s not what has my heart free-falling out of my chest, though. It’s the woman who tagged him as being there with her. Who the hell is Charlie? He probably doesn’t even know she’s done it yet. After staying offline for so long, he wouldn’t want his effort to appear invisible squandered. He’ll probably remove it as soon as he sees it. I screenshot it to show Millie later. I’m kind of shocked and more than a little hurt. I mean I’m here, attending a birthing class for our baby, and he’s out at the movies with another woman.
But what I’m more surprised by is that it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. I’m not in the fetal position, or running out the hospital doors to my car, or even in the bathroom wiping up tears. Don’t get me wrong; they’re there but just being held at bay by sheer willpower alone. It’s just that what he’s already done has hurt me worse than anything else ever could.
“You okay?” Seb asks from my side as he places our food down.
I tuck my phone away in my bag and nod, not trusting myself to talk yet. He looks at me a second, so I avert my gaze to the food and pull it toward me, opening my water bottle to take a sip. I’m relieved when he sits down and starts eating his burger right away. We eat in silence for a while before I decide I want a few more details about this enigmatic man. And to get my mind off my recent discovery.
“So what else is there to know about my new friend, Seb Mathews?”
He finishes chewing before shrugging. “Not a lot, really.”
I hum. “Sure. What do you do when you’re not out helping people and saving lives?”
He takes a drink of his water before responding.
“Like I said, not much. A bit of gym and running, some gaming, movies …” He twirls the cap back on his bottle. “Pretty boring really.”
I beg to differ, but I should’ve already guessed the gym and running part. Zeke was at the gym a lot but not much of a runner. It shows on Seb with his leaner physique. Those thick arms full of swirling tattoos. I look closer, trying to make the designs out.
“They’re gears, cogs, etcetera. All mechanical stuff,” he answers before I even have to ask. That’s pretty awesome. No color, just shaded in black and gray.
“That’s really cool. Not one of those people who gets tattoos with meaning behind them?”
He shakes his head. “Nah. Though I’m not opposed to the idea. What about you? Any tattoos you’re hiding?” He smirks.
“Nope. Tattoo virgin. I’m not too great with needles. The bloodwork from being pregnant is plenty enough for me, thanks.”
He smirks. “Let me know if you change your mind. I want to be there if you decide to pop your tattoo cherry.”
I snort, tucking some of my hair behind my ear and smiling like an idiot. “I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.”
We end up staring at one another for a minute, and I feel the smile slowly fall off my face as the blood pumps through my heart faster and faster. He blinks once, twice, and I watch the sweep of his long lashes before he clears his throat, shaking me out of my trance.
“You should finish your food, eating for two after all.” He nods toward my belly. Right.
“When’s your due date? January?” I wonder how he knows what month, but then I remember telling him how far along I was at Halloween. Pregnancy brain is in full effect.
I nod. “The twentieth.”
“Not much longer then, especially with the holiday season coming up. It’ll go pretty damn quickly.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. After today, I’m quite happy for bub to take as long as he or she needs.”
He shakes his head with a laugh. He wouldn’t be laughing if he saw what we had earlier. I shiver just thinking about it.
“Any plans for Thanksgiving?” He takes another sip of his water.
I nudge the last few fries on my plate around a little.
“Not really. Might hang out with Mil if she’s not stuck here working. You?”
“I’m actually heading back home to see the folks for a couple of days. Give my dad a hand with a few things that need doing around the house.”
Is he always perfect? Probably not but he sure seems to be.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters back home?”
“Brother, Dan, older by two years and recently married. They’re already expecting their first child.”
I try to ignore the pang in my chest at those words. Sometimes, things don’t always pan out the way you hoped, and it’s okay to acknowledge that feeling of jealousy and sadness, but I’m not about to go wallowing in my own self-pity. I’m determined to make the most out of what I’m fortunate enough to have.
“You’re going to be an uncle. How’s that feel?” I smile, already knowing he’s the type of guy to take the title pretty seriously.
His smile lights up his whole face, that dimple teasing me with an appearance once again. “Pretty damn exciting, actually. Sienna isn’t that far along; they’ve only just started telling people. But my mom is losing her mind. Apparently, she’s already filling the guest room at home with baby shit.”
“Well, make sure you warn her about researching birthing classes before showing up to one,” I say with a raised brow.
Laughing, he says, “Will do.”
“Seb!” a female voice calls out.
I turn and see a pretty brunette dressed in nurse scrubs approach. Seb starts rubbing a hand over his mouth before he offers her a small smile.
“Hey, Hannah.”
“What’re you still doing here? Didn’t you finish your shift like a half an hour ago?” She clearly sees that I’m sitting here but apparently chooses to ignore it. I look back at Seb to see his face is carefully blank as he looks at her. I might be wrong, but it seems like he’s trying not to show he’s annoyed if the clenched hands around his water bottle are any indication.
“I was actually having lunch with Olive here.” He nods toward me.
Having no choice but to acknowledge me now, she turns my way, pasting one of the fakest smiles I think I’ve ever seen on her pretty face.
“Oh, didn’t see you there. Hi, Olivia.”
Ugh, seriously?
“Hi … sorry, what was your name again?” I ask just for shits and giggles.
She looks like her face might splinter down the middle with the force of that smile. Especially knowing I heard Seb say it when she came over.
“Hannah. I work here with Seb.”
“Awesome. Nice to meet you.” I smile sincerely. Not really giving a flying monkey’s ass about her. Seb clearly isn’t interested, judging by the scowl marring his face. Let her breathe her desperation somewhere it’s wanted. I go back to playing with my leftover fries.
“Are you coming to Gary’s going away party Thanksgiving weekend?” she asks him hopefully.
“Nope, I’m heading home for a few days,” he says before standing and chucking our wrappers in the nearby trashcan.
“Oh, that sucks. I was thinking it’d be cool to have drink or two together sometime.”
“Yeah, maybe another time. Sorry.” He comes around to my chair.
“Ready?”
“Oh? Yeah, sure.” He gives me a hand up, and I’m not complaining. This baby carrying business leaves no room for being argumentative about a bit of help here and there. His warm hand doesn’t let go of mine as he grabs my handbag with his other hand.
The look on Hannah’s face says it all.
She thinks I’m his baby mama. I’d laugh, but he’s too busy tugging my hand toward the exit of the cafeteria while calling out a, “See ya, Hannah.”
I wave halfheartedly over my shoulder.
Then we’re out the hospital doors and walking down the path to the parking lot. The cool November air has me looking forward to getting home and continuing with my current read with a hot cup of tea on the couch.
“Sorry about that. She’s kind of persistent.”
I laugh. “Really? No!”
He chuckles. “I feel terrible, but I don’t know how many times or different ways a guy can say he’s not interested.”
“She’s pretty, though. Maybe you should give it a try?”
Though for some reason—that I’m not going to think about right now—I really hope he doesn’t.
He looks at me a moment, his face unreadable. “Where’d you park?”
I tell him, and he walks me to my car, letting go of my hand that I forgot he was holding until I feel the absence of its warmth. He passes over my bag, and I dig out my keys to unlock it, waiting while he opens my door for me. I smile at him before I climb in and toss my bag on the passenger seat.
“Well, thanks for lunch,” I offer, not really knowing what else to say.
I huff out a breath and pull my seat belt on.
“Don’t mention it. I’ll catch up with you soon. Drive safe, Liv.” He gently shuts the door.
Soon? I start the car and wave before backing out and making the short drive home. Sure enough, as soon as I pull into my garage, my phone buzzes.
Seb: Not as pretty as you.