The following week, I’m walking through the town square after picking up some groceries from the store, stroller in tow, when I see something that has me stopping in my tracks and wondering when the hell I had become so self-centered. That something would be Seb, right as he’s exiting a flight of stairs that lead down from an apartment above Mariel’s bakery.
He starts down the sidewalk toward me when I realize I’m still just standing there. Before I can even move, he stops right in front of me with a huge smile spreading across his face that sets the butterflies to swooping mode in my stomach. He bends down and peeks in on Rose. I continue to stand there, staring at that dimple as he reaches past the cover to touch her briefly then he rises and looks straight at me. His glasses are on again today, drawing attention to those sculpted features in the morning sunshine. “Hey.” He tucks his hands into his jean pockets, rocking back on his feet a little.
“Hey, yourself.” I remember my discovery and drag a palm through my hair, laughing dryly to myself. “You live above the bakery?”
He turns and looks back at said bakery then turns back and shrugs. “Ah, yeah. Why?”
“Because I’m a selfish cow, that’s why.” I huff and look down at his scuffed Converse shoes. “I didn’t even know where you lived. That’s how much I’ve been living in my own head. And for months, too.” I keep my eyes pinned anywhere but at him. “You must think I’m the—”
“Liv, stop.”
“Worst kind of person, like I don’t give a—” I’m cut off again when he moves to stand right in front of me. Almost toe to toe. Uh-oh.
“Liv.”
I swallow as I raise my eyes from his dark blue hoodie covered chest to his coffee colored gaze. Instantly, I feel a chill that has nothing to do with the weather tingle up my spine at the tenderness I feel radiating from every fiber of his being. A soft smile tugs at the corner of those perfect lips.
“You have nothing to apologize for. Seriously, it’s not a big deal. It never came up. I didn’t even think about it myself, not until now.”
The distance—or lack thereof—between us is making it a little hard for me to draw air into my lungs. I smell mint on his warm breath as if he just brushed his teeth.
“Still, I’m sorry,” I practically whisper, watching his lashes as he blinks. Something about them always holds my attention for longer than it should. Probably because they really are so damn pretty.
He reaches up and untucks my hair that’s half stuck under the neckline of my sweater dress. Even though I’ve almost got my shit together most days, there are still a lot of mornings I’ve gotten dressed while half asleep. His thick fingers gently graze my collarbone as he releases my hair to fall over my chest. “Thanks.” I laugh.
He smiles and drops his hand then I feel his fingers touch my own which are held down by my side. I surprise myself by latching on to his hand briefly before quickly letting go and looking away. “Well, I’d better get these groceries and baby of mine home.” I step back, needing space. Needing to finally fill my lungs with some much-needed oxygen.
His brows pull into a frown, but he nods.
“I know where you live now, so you’d better watch out.” I squint an eye at him while eyeing him up and down.
He laughs loudly. The sound attracts onlookers who are out and about in the square. “I’ll welcome stalking from you any day of the week, Liv. Hell, I’ll even leave the door unlocked for you.” He smirks.
Well, that backfired. Now, I’m flushing like a goober in the middle of a public area.
“Speaking of, I’m off work today and tonight. Mind if come over in a bit?”
I honestly don’t even know why he still bothers to ask. Half of the time, he just shows up. I raise a brow at him. “Of course, not. I’ll see you soon.” I smile and wave then turn to go as he remains there, feeling his gaze on me until I round the corner at the end of the street.
“I heard you the first time, Mil.” I sigh into the phone.
“Don’t sigh at me. That bitch was all over him like a slimy fucking octopus. I don’t know what he sees in half the skanks in this town. He probably doesn’t even realize he’s slept with most them before.”
“I know. He’s a dick, an asshole, a grade A douchebag, etcetera, etcetera. Doesn’t change the fact you’re still in love with him.”
I test the temperature of the bottle I just finished prepping on my wrist and take it into the living room. Walking into my room, I lean over the bassinet, smiling wide at a sleepy Rose who just woke up not long ago from her nap and is sucking on her little fist.
Millie scoffs in my ear as I pick Rose up and hold her to my chest with the phone tucked between my shoulder and ear. “In love? I wouldn’t go that far, sister.” Her pause before responding is telling enough, though. Besides, we both already know the truth. “Anyway, I gotta go. Got the boss lady making cranky eyes at me. Give Rose a smooch from me. I’ll come over tomorrow.”
We say goodbye as I walk into the living room. I’m about to plop my ass on the couch and give Rose her bottle when there’s a knock on the door. I don’t know why he’s gone back to knocking when the first week of Rose’s life was spent with him coming and going as he pleased with the key Millie got cut for him. Maybe because I’m coherent enough to know he’d be using it? I open the door with Rose still against my chest, her head lying on my shoulder and gazing at the wide world that is our house.
“Why don’t you use your key?” I ask Seb as he closes the door behind him.
He just looks at me as if I didn’t know he had one.
Laughing, I say, “Come on, it doesn’t bother me. At least, I won’t have to answer the door for you if I’m busy or just plain can’t be bothered.”
He smiles and reaches over to tweak my nose gently.
“All right, busted. I’ll save you the trouble in future, madam.”
I scrunch my nose slightly, pretending to look offended, which makes him chuckle. He looks like he’s about to step closer when Rose lets out a little shriek, and before I know it, he’s taking her from me and placing her in one of her favorite places to be—the crook of his arm. “Hey, sweet girl,” he says while gazing down at her. Who would’ve guessed that men talking to infants would be such a huge turn-on. I mean huge.
I watch as she shoves her fists out in the air and shuffles her little chunky legs.
Is it a bit unsettling that Seb is probably her only father figure? A little, but only because they’ve established a pretty strong bond already. Despite being eternally grateful for him and everything he’s done for Rose and me, that makes me nervous because I don’t even know what this thing is between us. Or if I’ll ever trust another man with my poor excuse for a heart that’s still somehow beating in my chest. If I can’t take that chance, or if I do and it doesn’t work out, I’m not so sure he’ll still hang around and be a part of our lives.
I’m not naïve enough to think that he’ll be happy for us to stay friends forever. He’s patient, he’s proved that already, but even the most patient of men have to draw the line at some point.
“Is she hungry?”
“Yep, it’s prepped and on the coffee table. Here, I’ll go give it to her.” I hold my arms out for her. He shakes his head and moves into the living room, sitting down and positioning her before taking the bottle from my outstretched hand and watching as she guzzles it while she stares up at him. Fuck me, is he trying to kill me with sexual frustration? I only got the all-clear from the doctor just last week. I shouldn’t even be thinking about any objects coming at me down there after the ordeal that is giving birth to a human being. Yet here I am, day after day, whenever he’s with her. Mentally fanning myself and feeling flushed all the damn time.
I leave them to it, deciding that I need to breathe without sounding like a sexually starved animal, and head into the kitchen to do some washing up.
After that, I go to the laundry room to put the load of clothes I’d collected earlier into the wash. I bend slightly, turning the dial after putting some liquid in. I almost jump out of my skin when two hands land on my hips from behind. I slowly straighten, my heart picking up speed in my chest as I turn my head over my shoulder to see Seb. Right. Fucking. There. Ummm…
Not knowing what else to say, I ask, “She fell asleep?”
“Yeah, burped and changed,” he says huskily, pulling me closer and setting the baby monitor on the shelf above the washing machine. He turns me in his arms to face him and walks two steps until my ass is flush with the machine currently filling with water. Okay. Maybe that saint-like patience is coming to an end after all. Can I even do this? I don’t know. All I know is that a wave of heat overtakes me as his gaze settles on my lips like they’re chocolate cake and he’s been on a diet for a year. He moves in, and the breath gets trapped in my lungs once again.
“Not waiting any longer. I need to kiss you right fucking now,” he breathes against my mouth.
I don’t answer, but I think I nod. I’m not entirely sure. My heartbeat is ringing in my ears, and I’m feeling kind of dizzy. Then his lips are landing on mine. Soft and tentative at first, grazing, rubbing, then searching and finding a rhythm with my own. He parts them and sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, grazing his teeth over it as he releases it. Gasping for air, I whisper, “Seb.” His hooded eyes lock on mine. “What is this?”
He stares into my eyes for a beat. “It’s everything,” he says hoarsely against my mouth before claiming it once again. I get extremely lightheaded at the first touch of our tongues. Like I’ve entered a whole new dimension where it’s only us; everything else fades away into specks of dust that disintegrate around us, fueling an already burning fire.
I tilt my head, allowing him better access, and reach up to wrap my arms around his neck, finally getting to sink my fingers into that thick, soft brown hair. He groans, throaty and deep, his tongue delving deeper to swipe at the roof of my mouth. Then my legs are around his waist as he lifts me onto the washing machine. I keep them there and use them to pull him exactly where I need him. He lets out another groan that sets my nerve endings aflame when I start to shamelessly rock myself against the bulge in his jeans. “Shit, Liv, you need to stop that. It’s been a while.” He breathes heavily against my lips. I smirk at him—feeling ridiculously happy to hear that—while I wrap my arms around his waist. I graze my teeth along the stubble on his chin; he tilts his head back, enabling me to kiss his Adam’s apple as it bobs when he swallows. Kissing and licking my way up to his ear, I suck and nip at his lobe and whisper, “Touch me, please.”
He doesn’t hesitate; his hands grip my hair and he yanks my mouth back to his, kissing me with a kind of fervor I’ve never experienced before. I don’t think about the extra pudge that surrounds my hips and stomach since having Rose or the stretch marks. My sweater dress is off, and I couldn’t be happier as Seb reaches into the cup of my bra, palming a breast before he unclasps it from behind and is making a slow, torturous journey down with those amazing lips. Down my neck and along my collarbone before moving down farther to my chest to suck a nipple into his mouth. I moan, my head falling back as his arm hooks around my waist to drag me even closer. The one thought racing through my mind is that I’ve been clueless when it comes to this man. I had no idea it could be like this with him, with anyone. Nothing about this is gentle; we’re both mindless, acting out desires that have been held at bay for God knows how long.
His lips return to my neck as he sucks and drags them over my heated skin. “You have no fucking idea, Liv. It’s been driving me crazy how much I want you.” Then his fingers are back in my hair as our lips and tongues clash together in a violent duel of emotion and lust. I reach down to the hem of his hoodie and tug; he thankfully takes it off for me, his t-shirt following it. I bite my swollen lip as my hands instantly find his stomach, running along the bumps and ridges of his abs and up his chest before I drag them down the ink and muscle of his sculpted arms. I yank him back toward me by the waist of his jeans. “You’re fucking spectacular,” I breathe against his lips before nipping at the bottom one and reaching down to undo the fly of his jeans.
He laughs, the sound husky and heating my skin to boiling point. “Can’t actually say I’ve been called that before, but I’ll take it. I’ll take anything you give—” He stops talking as my hand finally finds its way inside his jeans and wraps around his long, thick length through his boxer briefs. Hard and heavy, I feel the head peeking out of the top of the elastic band and find a wet drop of pre-cum resting there. I wipe at it with my thumb before pulling my hand up to my face, placing the digit into my mouth and sucking.
I think he’s stopped breathing until he lets out a ragged exhale and a groaned, “Fucking hell.”
“Lips,” I demand on a whisper. He complies, and I wrap my legs back around him. He’s skimming his fingers over me through my leggings while I’m trying to shove his pants down his legs when a familiar wail cuts through the baby monitor on the shelf behind me that has us both freezing.
I cringe. “Shit, I’m sorry,” I mutter as I pull away and try to put my bra back on.
He stops me with his hands held to the sides of my face. “Don’t ever apologize, not for that sweet girl, and definitely not for finally letting go with me just now.” He leans in to kiss me long and hard before tugging his jeans up and leaving me to go tend to Rose. I just sit here for a minute, dragging as much air into my lungs as they’ll allow and trying to calm my racing heart. My panties are soaked, my brain is fried, and my emotions completely scrambled. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that out of control before, that desperate or turned on. I shake my head and rub at my temples.
What the hell just happened?
I finish getting dressed and make my way out of the laundry room to the kitchen. I stop at the sink and fill a cup with water, drinking it down in record time in an effort to douse the heat that’s engulfed my body.
“She’s okay. Gave her a pat on the back and she’s fallen back to sleep,” Seb says as he comes up behind me, still shirtless as he grips my hips and turns me away from the sink. He places the glass I was holding on the counter next to us while I stare at that bare chest for a minute then finally work up the courage to drag my gaze to his. He’s looking at me as if I’m a startled cat who might disappear before he gets a chance to finally catch me. A look that has me feeling like a bitch for putting it there in the first place. I reach up and place my palm on his chest, about to reassure him somehow, but then his phone starts ringing in the pocket of his jeans.
“Shit,” he says while fishing it out and quickly hitting accept, probably to keep Rose from waking up.
“Yeah?” He steps back and runs a hand through his hair. Hair that I had my fingers running through just minutes ago. Hair that I really want to run my fingers through again and again.
He blows out a breath. “Jerald isn’t available?” He pauses. “Right, yeah okay. Give me half an hour.” He hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket before walking into the laundry room to pull his shirt and hoodie back on. Damn.
“I’ve gotta go, Liv. Simon’s had to leave work with a stomach bug, and the guy on call isn’t picking up.” He stops in front of me.
“Oh, okay.” I clear my throat. “Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow maybe?”
I try to hide my disappointment, but I guess I fail because he wraps his arms around me, pulling me to him. Placing a kiss on my forehead that has me closing my eyes, he says against my hairline, “You’ll see me tomorrow. Don’t overthink this, please. We’ll talk, okay?” I open my eyes when he pulls back slightly to look down at me. I try to smile but settle on just nodding. He stares at me a beat then leans down, tipping my chin up to meet his lips softly and all too briefly. Then he’s walking away and closing the door quietly behind him.