Chapter 21
Katy
I pull back from the kiss and press my face to his chest.
“Katy, what’s wrong?” He asks as he wraps his arms around me.
“Colt just left.”
I feel his body tense up.
“I kicked him out after I gave him what for.”
“What did he want?”
“Same as before, then he said that you were the reason we broke up and I lost it and kicked him out.”
He places his finger under my chin and lifts my face so that he is staring into my eyes.
“What exactly did he say?” It’s not like you to get this upset.”
I take a deep breath, then say, “he asked if we were together and when I wouldn’t tel him, he said that the knew I always loved you and that you were the reason we broke up, then he said you were a man whore and I lost it.”
Deep in my heart, I know Colt was right. I did care for him but didn’t love him, because my heart has always belonged to Kellan. It pissed me off because he read me enough to know that.
“Ok, now I have a few questions?”
“Ok.”
“Why didn’t you tell him we were
together?”
“Because he was just being nosey and it’s none if his damn business.”
“Ok, I can see that.” He swallows. “Do you love me?”
I don’t answer him right away, I just stare at him. I don’t know if I should admit how much I love him or not. What if he runs?
What if he doesn’t love me? I can’t take his rejection or losing my best friend, but I can’t lie to him either.
“I…I…” I’m stammering. I never
stammer.
“Katy.”
I start pacing my office. The space feels smaller than normal. It feels like the walls are closing in on me. Fuck! I can do this, I can do this, I chant to myself.
I stop in front of him, lock my eyes with his and pray he doesn’t run or reject me.
“Kel an, yes I love you. Have for a long time.”
His jaw drops open. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I have loved you since we were in high school.”
“Why didn’t I know that?”
“Because you’re blind.” I laugh, “I thought I was good at hiding it, except apparently everyone knew, well everyone but you.”
I sit down in my chair and put my hands over my face and begin to rub my eyes.
Kellan squats down in front of me and moves my hands from my face.
“I have been in love with you, just about as long.”
I smile, “You have?”
He smiles back, “yeah babe.”
“How come I didn’t know?”
“You were the only one who didn’t.”
I laugh, “we really are a pair, huh.”
“I have another question. How come you never told me?”
I sigh, “When I realized that I loved you, you were busy with the band and other girls. I was afraid that if I told you and you didn’t feel the same, that it would end our
friendship and that was more important to me than anything else. Then, our friendship got closer and more important and I knew I couldn’t throw that away, so I kept it to myself.”
“What about after we became a
couple?”
“I didn’t want to rush things between us, and honestly, it took me some time before I actual y believed we were a couple.
I didn’t want to tell you that I loved you and have it be one sided.”
I look down at my feet, “why didn’t you tell me?”
“Every time I got the courage, you would start tel ing me about some new guy, so I pushed it away.” He grabs my arms as he stands, he pulls me into him. “Katy. I love you and have for a long time. I’m glad we’re together.”
“I love you too, and I’m glad we’re together too.”
“There is one more thing. Do you
care what people say about me or us?”
“Yeah, I do. Why?”
“Look, people, reporters especially wil write al kinds of garbage about me, you the group. Whatever they think will sell. If you ever have any questions regarding anything you read or hear, promise you wil ask me first, before jumping to
conclusions.”
“I understand that. I promise Kel.”
That night we show each other just how much we love each other. We spend the next two days together. Mostly in bed, but hel , I’m not complaining.
This time when the band leaves for tour, I go with them. We are going to be out for two weeks then home for two weeks. I am so excited to be with Kellan. I hate when he is away, always have. The guys are sweet and let me have the bedroom in the back of the bus. They informed me that they would
take turns with the other room on the other bus. I laughed, I love these guys.
Watching a Control ed Chaos show is something awesome. Between the lights, crazy stage set up and the all the fans, I’m not sure what is more awesome. The guys, wel they transform as wel . They go from the sweet loving guys I have known all my life to the on-stage, I’m here to make all your fantasies come true guys. It’s fun and crazy all at the same time.
Once they step off stage, they go back to the same guys I have known al my life. I don’t know how they manage to turn it on and off like that, but they do. I follow them to their dressing room. Their manager Samantha is standing there on the phone.
Pul ing the phone to her shoulder, she gives me a nod, before saying to the guys, “you have an interview in fifteen minutes, change and meet me back here.”
The guys don’t say anything, just nod and head to the showers.
After the interview, we climb onto the bus.
Kellan looks tired. Taking his hand, I lead him toward the bedroom. I shut and lock the door, before turning and removing my clothes. Kellan’s eyes light up with arousal. I shake my head, “not tonight. You look tired and we need sleep.”
He doesn’t argue. Sliding into my sleep shorts and tank, I climb into bed. He pulls me against him. I lay my head on his chest, wrap my arm around his waist and throw a leg over his. He wraps his arm around my waist and kisses my head. Within minutes his breathing evens out, and I know he’s asleep. I close my eyes and fol ow him into dreamland, only my dreams are not good ones. I dream that Kellan is with that girl and they are getting married and I am standing there watching as my heart breaks in half.
I jerk awake, sitting up in the bed. The dream was so freaking real, I have tears running down my checks. I look over and Kellan is still fast asleep, I climb from the
bed, grab my sketch pad and laptop, before walking to the front of the bus. I sit at the table, open my sketch pad and boot up my laptop.
I haven’t had any luck so far in finding anything with Kellan and that woman in it.
So, for the next hour, I search everywhere I can think of to see if I can find anything. If I had her name I could at least search that, but she never gave it to me. So, I am stuck trying to find pictures that might give me her name that way, but no damn luck.
Feeling frustrated, I grab my pencil and begin to sketch. I’m lost in my sketches when someone sits down beside me. I jump making a line across my pad with my pencil.
“Shit.”
“Sorry.” I look over and see Maddox.
I look to the clock and see it says seven.
“It’s ok. You’re up early.” I say as I begin to erase the line.
“What are you working on?”
“Just some stuff for my shop.”
“Not us?” he pouts.
“No.” I laugh. “I already have plenty of stuff for you guys.”
I hand him several pieces of paper.
“These are great. Simple, yet so us.”
“Yeah, I know. So, how is the writing with Sophia coming?
“About as good as expected, I guess.”
From the look on his face, I know I’m not going to get any more out of him on that situation. He hands them back to me. I place them in the back of my sketch book.
“What’s wrong?”
I look at him. “What do you mean?”
“Something is bothering you. What is it?”
“Nothing. I just had a bad dream and needed to do something to get it out of my head.”
Maddox just looks at me. I’m not sure he believes me, but he doesn’t say anything else.
I stand, stretch and walk back to the bedroom. I open and close the door quietly.
Kellan is stil asleep. I gently slide in and wrap my arms around him. He stirs.
“You awake?”
“Yeah. I have been for a while.”
“You ok?”
I kiss him on his neck. “I’m good. Go back to sleep.”
He rolls over pinning me under him. He looks into my eyes, then kisses me.
“I love you.” I whisper.
His eyes light up. “I love you too babe.”