Have you ever reached that point in your life when you know it’s time for a change? The point where you realize everything you’ve been fighting for is no longer worth the fight. I’ve reached that point as I sit and listen to Daniel, my boyfriend of three years, tell me once again that he thinks we need a break.
Daniel and I have been on again off again during our time together. He goes through these phases where he “needs a break” which really means he wants to stick his dick in someone else. It took me a while to realize what was happening; my friends tried to warn me, but I just would not listen. I was in love with him.
Keyword: was!
We’ve been through his ‘needing a break’ speech more times than I can count, and I’m done. Looking back, I realize it was the thought of Daniel that kept me holding on. He’s a great guy, good-looking. Tall, shaggy blond hair, physically fit. He’s good to me, well, until he decides he ‘needs a break.’ In reality, I guess I should thank him. At least he broke it off before cheating on me.
Daniel doesn’t realize I’m onto his game. Today we graduated from college. It should be a joyous occasion, and it is, but it’s hard to be all sunshine and roses when you’re in the restroom and overhear some skank announce that Daniel is just amazing and he promised that tonight would be the night. He just had to break it off with me first. The loving, longtime girlfriend, who continues to give him his space every damn time he asks for it. Me, the loving girlfriend, who believed his lies and took him back every time.
Epic fail on my part.
I should have listened to my best friend. Stacy tried time and time again to tell me the rumors she’d heard about Daniel when we were apart. I always chalked it up to the rumor mill running rampant.
Tonight, well, let’s just say, lesson learned.
“Logan, are you even listening to me?” he asks.
“Actually, no, I’m not. I’m tired of listening to your bullshit. I’m done. Don’t come back to me when you’re finished with whatever her name is. I won’t be waiting around for you.”
His mouth hangs open in shock. Like my refusal to understand is coming out of left field. I guess it is, considering I’ve let him walk all over me for years.
Not this time.
“Logan, come on, don’t be like that. There’s no one else. I just need some time, you know? You know I get spooked and need to regroup,” he tries to convince me.
“Spooked? Seriously, Daniel? You’ve pulled the wool over my eyes long enough. I heard her. I heard your little fling telling her friends how you promised her tonight was the night. As far as I’m concerned, she can have you.” I head toward the door of his apartment.
“Come on, don’t be like that. She means nothing to me,” he confesses.
Laughter bubbles out of me. I can’t believe I let this happen all this time. “Apparently, neither do I. I want more, Daniel. I deserve more. That’s obviously not going to happen with you, so I wish you and whatever her name is the best of luck.” Funny thing is, I mean every word.
I cared about him, loved him even in the beginning. Over time, with his span of many ‘need a break’ episodes that love faded. It took hearing it with my own ears to realize it. I’m no longer in love with Daniel, but remain in love with the thought of him. I wanted the white picket fence and two-point-five kids. I wanted the fairy tale; too bad I now realize they no longer exist.
It’s time to put me first. Today starts a new chapter of my life. I’m going to focus on my career. I busted my ass to get through college to make a good life for myself, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Starting now.
“Logan, you know what we have is special,” he coos. Yeah, he’s really laying it on thick this time.
“No, you’re wrong. I was never special to you. From the first time you needed a break, the first time you stuck you’re fucking dick into someone else, anything special that could have been was ruined.” It’s with those words that I realize I need to get tested. I always insisted on him using a condom, even though I’m on birth control, but nothing is 100 percent effective. Happy freaking graduation to me. I get to climb on the table and spread them while confessing to my gynecologist that, yes, I know my checkup was only three months ago, but my cheating scum of a boyfriend can’t keep it in his pants. Just the conversation every woman longs to have.
Fuck my life.
“Come on, we can figure this out,” he pleads.
“I’m done! It’s over. Have a nice life.” I don’t want to be around him another second. The hot burn of tears, are threatening to fall. I blink rapidly to prevent it. He’s not worth it.
Just as I turn the handle to his apartment door, he appears beside me. “Logan, three years. You’re just going to throw it all away?”
Un-fucking-believable.
“Me? YOU. DID. THIS!” I roar. “You, Daniel. Not me. I’m done playing your games. It’s over, now let me go.”
This time, he doesn’t stop me as I pull open the door and rush down the hallway. I look over my shoulder as I wait for the elevator and see him standing in the middle of the hall, just watching me. The only emotion I see is shock. He really thought I would never figure it out. We talked about marriage in a year or so; what would he have done then?
Gah! I’m such an idiot.
The elevator door slides open. I quickly move inside, hitting the button for the parking lot level and the close door button. The sooner I can no longer see him, the better.
I climb in my little Nissan Sentra, which has by far seen better days, and head toward home. Digging my cell out of my purse, I hit Stacy’s name on my favorites list, and put the phone to my ear.
“Hey, girlie, you guys on your way here?” she asks. I was supposed to be picking Daniel up and then we were meeting Stacy back at our apartment. Our parents, Stacy’s and mine, had put together a joint graduation party for us.
“I’m on my way. I just left Daniel’s,” I tell her.
“And Daniel?” she prompts.
“He will not be joining us. Ever,” I add as an afterthought.
“Uh, okay. Would you care to explain what that means?”
I laugh humorlessly. “That means he’s a cheating piece of shit, and I should have listened to you.” I go on to tell her about the conversation I overheard and the outcome of my little visit with my now ex-boyfriend.
“Oh, God, Logan, I’m sorry. He’s a worthless piece of shit, and you can do better,” she tells me.
“Agreed.”
“Wow, you don’t seem all that upset.”
“Well, I’m not really. I’m just over it, over the drama of it all. I don’t know why I refused to see it before now, but there was never going to be a future for us.”
“You didn’t see it because you were in love with the fairy tale,” she says softly.
It’s scary how well she knows me. “I’m pulling in,” I say. I don’t bother letting her know she’s right. She already knows.
“Great. I’m on my way out.”
A few minutes later, we’re heading to her parents’ house to celebrate another milestone.
College graduation.
As soon as we arrive, Stacy and I split in opposite directions to say hello to our parents. My mom, dad, and brother drove down from Cincinnati. Mom smiles widely as she spots me walking toward her. “There she is,” she grins, “my college graduate.”
I can’t help but smile. “Hey, Mom. Where are Dad and Jase?”
“Right here, big sister.” My little brother by four years picks me up and swings me around. He may be younger, but he’s built like a damn linebacker. I don’t bother to protest. I’ve learned that just fuels him to keep me in the air longer.
“Jase, you need to share.” My dad laughs.
Jase’s deep rumble leaves his chest as he sits me back on my feet; they barely touch the ground before my dad is lifting me into a bear hug. “Proud of you, baby girl,” he says softly, just for me.
“Where’s Daniel?” Mom asks as Dad sets me back on my feet.
“He’s not coming. We’re over, actually,” I inform my family as if we were discussing the weather.
“Pft, like we haven’t heard that before,” Jase scoffs.
“Jase!” Mom scolds him. I stick my tongue out in reply. He flips me off.
“It’s over. I’m done with his games. He’s been cheating on me. Well, technically, he wasn’t cheating since we were always ‘taking a break,’ but in my eyes, he cheated.”
“I’m going to kick his ass,” Jase seethes.
I step next to him and place my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. “I love you for that, I do. Honestly, he’s not worth it. I’m good with it. This has been a long time coming. I just want to forget it and move on,” I tell them.
“Regardless, he better hope he doesn’t see me out,” Jase warns.
Jase has a good couple of inches on Daniel and more muscle. He could definitely give Daniel a run for his money. Not that I think that will be an issue. Daniel doesn’t like confrontation, at least not with guys who are built like my little brother. Daniel is more of a preppy pretty boy type. Don’t judge, I was a sophomore in college and he swept me off my feet. My standards are much higher now, trust me.
“Well, sounds like we have more than just graduation to celebrate,” my dad quips.
“That we do, Dad. That we do.”
“Right,” Mom says. “Let’s get Stacy and her parents over here so we can give you your presents.” She claps her hands in glee. My mom has always been a giver. Something about giving lights her up. I get that from her, also a trait Daniel played on.
Good riddance.
Jase shoves his index finger and thumb in his mouth and whistles loudly. I never could do that. “Hey, Stace, we need you all over here,” he yells once he has everyone’s attention.
Looping her arms through both of her parents,’ Stacy leads them to us. Her parents step away to stand beside mine, all four of them wearing huge-ass grins. Hmm . . . this is gonna be good. I can already tell.
Jase steps between Stacy and me and throws an arm over each of our shoulders. “Remember this in four years, will you?” he says, loud enough for our parents to hear. He knows what it is and is envious. Hell, yeah! I cannot wait to see what it is.
“Girls, we are so damn proud of you,” Stacy’s dad says.
“You’ve both busted your ass to get through college,” my dad chimes in.
“You deserve a break, some fun in the sun, if you will,” Stacy’s mom hints.
“A little rest and relaxation before joining the post-college world,” Mom adds.
Jase releases us and joins our parents. “I want it to go on record that I’m jealous as hell,” he announces with a grin. Mom reaches around my dad and smacks his arm.
Reaching in his back pocket, Jase pulls out an envelope with our names scrawled across the front. I glance over at Stacy and she shrugs; she has no idea either.
Jase hands us the envelope. We both squeal with delight as we lean in close and pull it open together. I read the card, and then read it again, giving my brain a second chance to process what it says.
“Hawaii?” Stacy asks.
“Yep, the two of you get to spend a week on a private stretch of beach and soak up some rays while I’m stuck here.” Jase tries to hide his grin. He’s happy for us, even if he is jealous he’s not going. He’ll get his in four years.
“Holy shit!” Stacy and I say at the same time. This causes everyone, and I mean everyone, to burst out laughing. Apparently, all the guests had gathered around. Stacy and I were too intent on discovering what was in the envelope to pay attention.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket. Sliding it out, I glance at the screen.
Daniel.
I hit ignore and slide my phone back into my pocket. Not today, he’s not going to ruin this. He needed his space. He’s getting it.
Permanently.
“Your reservation is in a week,” Stacy’s mom informs us. “Gives you time to shop for some new clothes.”