Jackson
MY HEART IS pounding so fucking hard right now it’s as though I have run flat out for an hour. Not once in my life have I ever had a single kiss that rocked my world to this extent. I only meant to show Claire how I feel about her with that kiss. I wasn’t expecting for it to burn me alive. The woman is so responsive and once she opened up to me, I could hardly hold on. Jesus, if I hadn’t smelled the meat I would have taken her right here on the back deck, in broad freaking daylight.
Walking away from the live wire that is Claire was my only option. I’m standing with my back to her, overlooking the backyard and watching the ladies play. I’m doing my damnedest to calm the beast within. I completely mauled the woman. I’m not gentle in general and my size can be intimidating, but I desire to be gentle with Claire. I don’t want to hurt her, ever.
What the fuck was I thinking? Way to show her that I’m different from Brad. I’m a fucking moron! I am so much better than this!
“Jackson?” Claire’s hesitant voice pulls me out of the verbal berating I’m giving myself. Turning toward her, I am hit again with how much I truly love her. How there isn’t one thing that I wouldn’t do for her.
She deserves poetry and roses. Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Jane Austen and all that shit. But instead I give her, “You are so fucking beautiful right now.”
The blush of pink that rushes up her neck and tints her cheeks clues me in to the fact that Claire doesn’t get many compliments from men. I like that, a lot. Wanting to claim what is mine, I want to beat my chest and roar aloud. I want to give this woman the world, and that crimson on her cheeks tells me that I’m going to be giving her quite a few firsts.
“Dinner’s on.”
The fact that Claire completely dismisses my statement doesn’t fly well with me. I’m going to make sure that she hears, truly hears, how amazing she is from this minute forward. Walking over to the patio set, I can’t help but think how classy Claire is. Even in yoga pants and barefoot she is elegant. And what a table she can set. At some point she put the daisies I brought her in an electric blue vase and accompanied them with white plates, yellow napkins, and the biggest pink wine glasses I have ever seen. It shouldn’t go together but somehow it does. And looks whimsical and classy all at the same time.
Sitting across from Legs makes me want to lay her out on this table that separates us and eat her whole. From her pretty red toes to the bun thingie on top of her head, which I’m still trying to figure out how she got all her hair up there like that. It’s messy with wisps of hair falling around and framing her face. Even without a ton of make-up on Claire still looks like a movie star. Porcelain skin that makes you want to touch it, combined with her enormous green eyes makes my mouth water. Frankly I just want to run my hands through all that red hair and never surface.
Speaking of, I return to the here and now and catch Claire saying, “…the best way to deal with him is to just ignore him.”
“I’m sorry what?”
Claire looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “I was talking about what I think the best course of action is with Brad. If we ignore him and his blatant attempts to goad us, it will only piss him off more and make him tip his hand sooner.”
I’m shocked at Claire’s announcement. Her plan is well thought out and is cold, calculated, and quite cunning. I like it, I like it a lot.
“You, woman, are quite scary. I didn’t think that you would be this manipulative. But you’re right. Brad hates to be ignored and it will only prove to push his hand.”
Sitting in her chair looking as cool as can be, she just nods her head. “You forget, Jackson, I was raised by the best manipulators. They played their friends, families, children, and even the media. If I learned anything from Mac and Jami it was to always make sure that you win. Never underestimate my kindness for weakness. Some of the deadliest creatures on earth are those that are unassuming. Mothers being the most vicious when their children are in the mix. Let’s not forget that Brad’s presence is threatening my child. My life, Jackson!” Claire’s voice is calm, which makes this conversation even more disturbing. It is only at the end that it has escalated to an almost shout. “My child is not a bargaining chip for whatever twisted game he seems to be playing. My girls are completely off the table.”
“I’ll tell you what, Legs”—both Claire and Legs look at me with Legs walking over and putting her head on my thigh—“we’ll play it your way. For now. But I have every intention of monitoring his movements.” I consider telling her my suspicions, but decide to keep my cards tight.
“Okay, so now that the Brad situation is decided, let’s move onto the next issue at hand.”
“And that issue would be?”
Squirming in her seat, Claire looks out into the backyard and then to me. On a huff she says, “Are you going to make me say it, Jack?”
“You know, I love when you say my name, either form, but something about when you call me Jack makes me want to drag you across this table and kiss you breathless.”
“Jackson.”
“Now see, when you call me Jackson, you say it with a tone and come off as prissy.”
“Jack, please. This is serious. We need to discuss what’s going on here.”
I lean on the table with my elbows and clasp my hands together, and look Claire straight on. “This is serious, Claire. The most important thing possible.” Leaning back into my seat, I get comfortable before I lay out my plan for her. “You see, I don’t care about the past. I only care about the future and moving forward with you in my life. I want everything, Claire. I want a friend, lover, and companion. I want this with you. I want Sasha and Dallas and Zoey and Suz. I want a life, and I want it with you.”
“Jesus, Jack, you want a hell of a lot.” Claire exhales and runs a hand through the top of her hair.