I can’t stop tossing and turning. Throwing the covers off, I consider getting out my vibe. Daniel has me so restless. That man’s smile makes me want to do things I haven’t done in a long time.
For one, since Jay and I broke up, I haven’t had the urge to strip off my clothes and throw myself at a man. Now it’s all I can think about. I wonder what Daniel’s lips would feel like on mine? I know how I felt when he touched my hand. Just that little gesture sent my heart racing.
Maybe a cold shower will help me calm my libido. Hmmm, on second thought, why would I want to do that? I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Yep, time for a little self-exploration.
After getting my self-gratifier out of my underwear drawer, I try to get comfortable. God, this is weird. I mean, this isn’t the first time I’ve done this. But it’s the first time I have thought about a real man.
Well, that’s not exactly true. I have fantasized about movie stars and some cover models on my romance books, but Daniel is a guy I’ll be spending time with. Will I be able to look him in the eyes knowing thoughts of him have made me orgasm?
Damn it. I can’t do this.
I throw my vibe across the room, and it bounces off the closet door. Eight months. It’s been eight months since I have had sex. And the sex wasn’t even that great.
Two months after Jay dumped me, I went out on a blind date. My sister, Alex, set me up with a lawyer friend of hers. Darren, I think that was his name. He was a nice guy. You know that is like the kiss of death, but I slept with him anyway…not one of my best moments.
Glancing at the clock, it is almost 12:30 in the morning. I am never going to get to sleep at this rate. I have to put Daniel out of my mind.
I’m glad my sister is a night owl. Alex says that it is a hazard of her job as a public defender. Texting her, she immediately replies.
Me: I can’t sleep.
Alex: You need to have wild sex with a hot man.
My sister, always to the point.
Me: Maybe soon. I actually have a date on Sunday.
Alex: Really? On a Sunday? What are you doing? Going to church?
Me: LOL no. Daniel owns a boat and he’s taking me fishing.
Alex: Is this the same Daniel that you told me about months ago? The one you said made you want to drop your panties when he smiled?
Me: Yep, that’s him. I saw him tonight at a party and he asked me out. I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s a great guy.
Alex: That’s great sissy. You deserve to be happy.
Me: What about you? Have you found a nice hot man to keep you company?
Alex: Shit. I don’t have time for a steady man. This homicide case has got me crazy busy. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning but I truly believe that my client is innocent.
Me: Well, he has the best lawyer then. You will do what is right and it will all work out.
Alex: Thanks! I miss you. Are you coming up for a visit anytime soon?
Me: I don’t think I am ready for that yet. With my luck. I will run into Jay and school is starting in a few weeks anyway.
Alex: Fuck Jay. He is a douchebag who didn’t deserve you. I need to see you as soon as this trial is over. Maybe I’ll come to the sunny state of Florida for a visit.
My eyes are starting to get heavy now. Thank God for my sister.
Me: Sounds great. I’m gonna go for now. I’ll call you after my date on Sunday.
Alex: Have fun babe. I’ll talk to you then.
I turn off my phone and light and start counting sheep.
* * *
My curtain is open just enough that the sun hits me right in the eye. Rolling over, I glance at the clock. Damn it, it’s only six o’clock. I don’t bother to set the alarm on weekends because my internal clock doesn’t care what day it is.
Being a teacher, I always get up by six. One day I hope to sleep in until eight, although it’ll probably feel like half the day is gone.
I can smell the already brewed coffee as I throw on some shorts and a tank. Turning my phone on, I don’t know why I do it, but I glance down to see if Daniel has reached out.
I am obsessing over this man, and it’s unlike me. Usually, the guys are the ones who are stalking me. OK, maybe not stalking me, but it’s certainly what I’m doing to Daniel. My sister is probably right, I just need to have sex and then he’ll be out of my system.