Chapter 20

The drive back to Oakbrook was uncomfortable. All Josie could think about was taking Sam’s hand or running a hand through his hair. The desire to touch him was becoming overwhelming, and being in such close proximity was tortuous.

Annette was already in bed when she crept into the house. After lavishing some attention on the dogs, Josie retrieved her phone from the bottom of her bag. There were two missed calls from Jack from earlier in the evening. Her phone had been on silent and she hadn’t checked it. Jack finally missed her then.

It was late, but she knew he’d still be up. She just hoped he wasn’t in the pub. He answered after the first ring and sounded cheerful as he greeted her.

“I thought you’d be back on Friday,” he said lightly. “You could’ve called me.”

“And you could’ve called me,” she snapped, suddenly angry. “You didn’t bother calling me all week!”

“So I take it you’re not coming back this weekend?” He ignored her irritation.

“No. I’m working.”

“That’s fine. It would just have been useful to know. How’s everything there then? Getting busier, I take it?”

She sighed. “Does it bother you at all, not seeing me? Do you even care when I’ll be coming back to Oxford?”

“Of course I do,” he said. “I was just about to ask …”

“I really don’t think this is working any more, Jack. Us, I mean.”

“Oh, come on. We’ll be fine. We always are.”

“Do you even love me?”

“Are you serious? Of course I do!”

Josie bit her bottom lip. She loved him too. In a way. “Are you in love with me?”

He wasn’t so quick to answer that one.

“I’m going to take that as a no.” 

“We should talk in person,” Jack said.

“I’m not sure when I’ll be back next. And I don’t think we need to talk in person. It’s been over for a while, really, hasn’t it?”

She heard his sigh, imagined him shaking his head as he searched for the right thing to say.

“Neither of us makes any effort,” she said gently. “I don’t want to keep going like this.”

“I can make more effort,” he said quickly. “Why don’t you let me know when you have some time off and we can talk in person …”

“I don’t think I have much more to say.”

“Do you remember that time I tried to break up with you on the phone and you said only face-to-face break-ups count?”

She couldn’t help but smile at his cheeky tone and of the memory of him calling her to say he was going to have to break up with her because she’d left dirty pots in the sink. Since she spent so much time telling him off for not tidying up after himself, he thought it was hysterical to turn the tables.

“That wasn’t a real break-up,” she said. “You were just messing around.”

“Yeah, but still, it’s a good rule.”

“Jack!”

“You made the rule,” he said lightly. “Don’t get mad at me.”

She paused and exhaled loudly.

“Please,” he said seriously. “Can we at least talk about it in person?”

“It won’t make any difference.”

“Please.”

She’d never been very good at saying no to Jack, but she really couldn’t carry on the way things were. “I’m going to call you back in a minute.” Before he could object, she ended the call.

She paced the kitchen, stopping at the window. All she could see was darkness and her own reflection. An image of Sam came to mind, wishing her goodnight as she hopped out of his van. She hadn’t wanted to leave him.

She reached for her phone again. Jack looked weary when he answered.

“A video call doesn’t count as face-to-face,” he said.

“I thought it was me who made the rules,” she said, forcing lightness to her voice.

“I’m going to hang up.”

“Don’t,” she said quickly as tears dampened her eyes. “I’m breaking up with you. I’m not in love with you. And you’re not in love with me. This relationship makes no sense.”

He sighed and sank back on the couch. “You’re one of my favourite people in the world. Top three I reckon.”

Her chest tightened. He really could be so sweet. What was really heart-wrenching was she knew he meant it. “We can still be friends,” she said softly. “That’s all we really are anyway: flatmates and friends.”

“I can’t imagine not having you in my life.”

“Me too,” she insisted. “But we can still be in touch. I promise.” She also couldn’t imagine cutting all contact with him.

A few minutes later, she ended the call. Relief washed through her, followed closely by a twinge of excitement. She was single and free of the guilt that had been niggling at her since she met Sam.

***

Over breakfast the next day, Josie briefly told Annette about breaking up with Jack. She brushed over it. There wasn’t much to say, really. Perhaps she should have been upset, but if anything there was a spring in her step as she set off to walk the dogs that morning. She was careful not to let Pixie escape again, but it occurred to her as she walked beside the sea of bluebells that it would be a good excuse to visit Sam if Pixie ran in that direction again.

It was tempting to go and knock on his door. She was desperate to see him. What would she do, though? Just wrap her arms around him and kiss him? Ask him on a date?  It made her nervous thinking of it, and she decided to leave things until she next saw him and see what happened. 

By Monday morning, she was dying to chat to someone. It occurred to her to visit Lizzie and chat everything through with her, but on a whim she messaged Amber instead, asking if she had time for a coffee. Amber messaged back quickly, saying she was going over to the bookshop to visit Tara, but she invited Josie to come along and added the address in the message.

The small town of Newton Abbot, where Tara worked, was a twenty-minute drive from Averton. Josie arrived mid-morning. The Reading Room was easy to find, in the heart of the town. The shopfront stretched across two wide windows and the displays in them were artfully laid out. The window to the left of the door was decorated like a forest, with books dotted between trees, some balancing in branches.

To the right of the door, children’s books were spread out amongst a variety of toy vehicles: some loaded in the carriages of a toy train, some flying in aeroplanes, some on horseback and some in open-top cars. It was fascinating, and Josie stood gazing at it until Tara’s grinning face appeared in the display, making her jump.

The bell tinkled as she walked inside. “This place is gorgeous,” she said to Tara as she embraced her in a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here! We should have Monday morning coffee every week!”

Josie followed her to the back of the deserted shop, where Amber sat in the cosy children’s corner with Kieron. The colourful carpet was adorned with bright beanbags and cushions and a few cuddly toys.

Josie scanned the area. “This is so cute.”

“The lower shelves in the kids’ corner are full of second-hand books,” Tara told her. “Because kids are brutal! The nice ones are high up, out of reach.”

“The kids’ corner was Tara’s idea,” Amber said proudly. “And she does the window displays.”

Josie was impressed. “I love the windows!”

“She’s given the place a makeover since she started,” Amber said. “It used to be very dreary here.”

“The things I have to do to make it acceptable for my friends to visit me at work! The complimentary coffee was my idea too.” She grinned as she headed to a small table with a coffee urn.

“So your creepy boss isn’t here today?” Josie asked.

Tara glanced around. “He’s in the back,” she said quietly.

Amber shook her head. “He’s not creepy.”

“You should see the way he looks at me!” Tara said. “And he asks me out for a drink every weekend. It’s basically harassment.”

“He sounds annoying,” Josie agreed.

“James is lovely,” Amber insisted, passing a board book to Kieron.

“You don’t have to work with him …” Tara fell silent as a tall blond guy walked over to them.

He winked at Tara. “Talking about me?”

“Nope,” she replied. “Never.”

His eyebrows twitched. “Hard at work, I see.”

“I’m having a coffee break,” she said.

“You’re not supposed to take your coffee break in the middle of the shop.”

Tara rolled her eyes. “We’ve not got any customers.”

When his eyes landed on Josie, she held out her hand and introduced herself.

“You’re James?” she said, unable to hide her surprise. “You’re not quite how I pictured you.”

His gaze shifted to Tara. “So you have been talking about me.”

“Sometimes I mention my slave driver of a boss!” She waved a hand as though shooing him away. “Everything’s under control out here. Why don’t you get back in your office?”

His eyes sparkled with amusement. “I can’t join you for a coffee?”

“No,” Tara said tersely.

“Because you want to talk about me?” he said, backing away.

“Just go!” Tara snapped.

He wandered casually behind the counter of the shop and disappeared from view.

“Tara thinks that’s harassment,” Amber said.

“It is!”

“He’s gorgeous,” Josie said.

“That doesn’t excuse the constant flirting! If he was fat and balding you’d agree that his behaviour was unacceptable.”

Josie ignored the remark, though Tara had a good point. “And he’s asked you out?”

“Every week.”

Josie grinned. “How can you resist?”

“He’s my boss,” Tara said. “And he’s kind of annoying. Did you notice his cocky eyebrow movements? It drives me crazy.”

“But the hair,” Josie said with a sigh. “It looks so soft and silky. I’d just want to stroke it all the time.”

“Urgh! Maybe you should ask him out.”

“No way,” Josie said.

“Oh yeah,” Tara said wearily. “You’ve got a boyfriend hidden away somewhere!”

There was a short pause before Josie spoke. “I haven’t actually.”

“What?” Amber said. “What happened?”

“We broke up at the weekend.”

“Oh my God!” Tara squealed. “Did you ask Sam out yet?”

Josie set her coffee down as she laughed. “No.”

“Does Sam know you’re single?” Tara asked.

“No. Although I’m fairly sure he overheard me telling my sister that I can’t stop thinking about him.”

Amber reached to pick Kieron up as he stumbled over a cushion. “It’s so exciting. You and Sam will make such a cute couple.”

“Let’s not get too excited,” Josie said. “I don’t know if anything’s going to happen with Sam.”

There was a loaded silence before Amber and Tara started laughing. The more Josie protested, the more they laughed. She was trying not to get her hopes up too much, though, worried that she’d misread things and Sam wasn’t interested.

The girls reassured her that he was interested, but she was impatient to find out for definite.