Chapter 40

The café turned out to be her saviour. It kept her busy, which was exactly what she needed. Six weeks passed without her having a day off. Whenever she wasn’t on the TV set, she was in the café.

Stella and Brenda were great fun to work with and had become good friends too. She preferred her days working in the café to the ones on set. It was fortunate, really, since the filming was only usually two or three times a week. She hated that it wasn’t working out as she hoped, but she was making the most of the situation.

Once or twice she’d spoken to Michaela about quitting the acting job, but Michaela kept insisting there were rumours about Josie’s role becoming a speaking part and she’d be doing some real acting before she knew it. Of course, Michaela didn’t want to lose her commission, and Josie still had that glimmer of a dream of being a proper actress.

When Josie wasn’t at the café, Brenda used a temp agency to get someone to fill in for her. It was always entertaining to hear stories about the temporary waitresses. Josie wasn’t sure if Brenda and Stella really hated all of them as much as they said or if it was just a joke to make Josie feel better about herself. Occasionally, Brenda would suggest Josie should take a day off, but Josie insisted she didn’t need one. As far as she was concerned it was the last thing she needed. The café had saved her when she’d hit rock-bottom, and working there had been the only thing to keep her sane.

It was still an effort not to dwell on Sam, and she was sure a day to herself would only set her back on her plan to move on. She spoke to Annette twice a week and always enjoyed their chats. Only occasionally did Annette mention Sam, and Josie was always torn. It was so hard to hear about him, but she also clung to the nuggets of information like treasures. It was never anything exciting – only that he’d been for a visit or what job he was working on. With a great effort, Josie had barely reacted to the mentions and managed not to ask questions about him. The anger she felt for him was something else she clung to. He’d given her up without a fight. It was easier if she was angry with him.

She still messaged Tara and Amber too, and Amber would message her photos of little Kieron. They always made her smile.

 

***

 

 “So you and Jack finally got together?” Brenda asked one gloomy Thursday morning. They were standing in the café’s kitchen waiting for opening time. Josie was helping herself to a coffee and barely registered the question. The mention of Jack made her smile, though. What would she have done without him recently? He could make her laugh, even when the last thing she felt like doing was laughing.

“What?” she asked, looking over her coffee at Stella and Brenda.

“Oh, come on,” Stella said. “Last time we saw you, you were having breakfast with Jack. We presumed breakfast came after a night of passion?”

“We like him,” Brenda said casually. “He gets our approval.”

“Well that’s good to know,” Josie said brightly. “It’s not like that, though. He was just doing a couple of days’ filming and slept on the floor at Emily’s instead of going all the way back to Oxford.”

The two women exchanged a suspicious look.

“We’re just friends,” Josie insisted.

“You talk about him far too much for him to just be a friend,” Stella argued.

“Because he’s about the only friend I’ve got at the moment!” That wasn’t really true. There was Emily too, but she’d been so busy recently, and with the amount Josie had been working, they barely saw each other. When they did meet up, Emily had a tendency to say the wrong thing. Mostly because Josie couldn’t stand to hear anything negative about Sam, even if it was true.

“He’s a lovely lad anyway,” Brenda said. “You could do much worse.”

“We weren’t right for each other. We’re much better as friends.” Josie glanced at the kitchen clock. “Anyway, it’s about time to open up, isn’t it? Come on.”

“Yes, boss!” Stella and Brenda said in unison before howling with laughter.

Josie shook her head and went to flip the sign on the door to “open”.

It was busy as always and the day went quickly. There was a lull in the middle of the afternoon, and Josie sat down with a bowl of pasta that Stella had whipped up for her. She was ravenous. A dog barked and Josie glanced out of the window, her gaze landing on the golden retriever tied up outside.

“I wish someone would shut that bloody thing up!” Brenda said as she walked past with an armful of plates.

The woman on the table next to Josie paused from feeding her toddler, who was babbling in a high chair. “He’s mine,” she said, nodding towards the door. “If you ever want to drink your coffee while it’s warm again, don’t have kids or dogs.” She looked flustered as she rose from the chair. “Can you watch the little one while I go and shout at the dog?”

“Drink your coffee,” Josie said. “I’ll see to the dog.”

She was halfway to the door when the bemused woman shouted her thanks. The dog stopped barking as soon as Josie opened the door and looked up at her with big eyes.

“Hello!” she said softly. He wagged his tail and she bent down, scratching behind his ears and stroking his soft coat. He reminded her of Charlie. “Aren’t you lovely?” she said. “You’re a good boy.” She laughed as he eagerly demanded more attention, creeping closer and attempting to lick her face. “Okay,” she said, pushing him down. “You need to calm down. You’ve got to be quiet out here. Can you manage that?” After giving his head a ruffle, she turned to go back in. He let out a high-pitched bark.

Josie held out a finger and glared at him. “Sit,” she said firmly.

He stared at her for a moment before shuffling down onto his back legs.

“Lie down,” Josie instructed. His front legs padded forward until he was on his belly. “Stay,” Josie said fiercely as she pushed the door open.

“Can you tell me your secret?” the woman with the toddler asked. “He never listens to me.”

“She used to work at a dog kennels,” Brenda said, patting Josie on the shoulder. “Now wash your hands and get back to work.”

Josie did as she was told. When she returned, the golden retriever was still lying obediently outside the door. Josie smiled sadly. All that time she worked at the kennels and never managed to get the dogs to follow instructions, and now she suddenly had no problem. She made a mental note to tell Annette about it when she spoke to her.

It played on her mind for the rest of the afternoon, making her think of Oakbrook Farm and all the associated memories. She’d done so well burying her feelings, but suddenly she was an emotional wreck. Brenda found her sitting in the office at the end of the day, tears damp on her cheeks.

“What’s wrong, love?” she asked, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Are you still thinking about Sam?”

She shook her head and blew her nose on the tissue Brenda passed her. “I was thinking about Macy and Charlie,” she said miserably. “I miss them.” It had taken a good couple of weeks to stop expecting dogs to run around her legs when she opened the door to Emily’s place. She’d got so used to living with dogs around, it felt weird to go home and not be greeted by her furry friends.

Brenda looked puzzled. “The dogs,” Josie explained. “At the place I used to work. I miss the dogs. I miss everything.”

“Why don’t you go for a visit? It might do you good to escape the city for a few days. And you’ve been working non-stop. You need a break.”

“Maybe.” She’d been thinking of visiting Annette but she was nervous about seeing Sam. It had been really tough getting over him – and life at Oakbrook – and she was nervous of undoing her hard work.

In the end she decided she would go. She’d have to face Sam eventually, and she desperately wanted to see Annette. After spending every day with her for over two months, the absence felt strange.

She drove over on Saturday, arriving at lunchtime. The wonderful purple rhododendron flowers at the end of the drive were a welcome sight. Then there was the house with the rosebushes creeping up one side, and the barn, the fields … everything was just as it had been.

It was so good to be back.