Chapter 33

What on earth had she done? She felt as though she was spinning out of control. Had she really accepted the job? Was she actually going to move to London?

When Annette asked about the phone call, Josie had lied and said they’d given her more time to think about it. She needed time for it to sink in. Telling Sam would be awful, and she was already dreading it.

He messaged to say he’d see her in the pub that evening but would be a bit later than usual. He was stuck at work. It bought her some time to gather her thoughts.

She was like a zombie when she sat down at the usual table in the Bluebell Inn with Tara and Amber.

“I would be depressed too if I just turned down the job opportunity of a lifetime.” Tara patted her arm. “I hope Sam’s worth it.”

“She didn’t turn it down just because of Sam,” Amber said.

“No,” Josie said, staring straight ahead. “I didn’t.”

“I hope you don’t live to regret this,” Tara said. “If I were you, I’d forever wonder what might have been.”

Josie’s eyes snapped to Tara. That summed up how she’d been feeling all week – that maybe this was a great opportunity, and if she let it slip away she’d forever wonder how it would have turned out.

“I didn’t turn it down,” she whispered.

“Didn’t you speak to your agent?” Amber asked.

“I spoke to her.” She looked at Tara, then at Amber. “I just didn’t turn it down. I accepted the job.”

“Oh my God!” Tara cried. Josie couldn’t tell if it was shock or excitement but shushed her friend nonetheless.

“You’re leaving?” Amber asked quietly.

“I was going to say no,” she explained. “I did say no to start with, but it felt wrong so I changed my mind. But I haven’t signed a contract or anything. I can still back out. But if I said no today, it would’ve been final, they’d have found someone else.”

“So you still might turn it down?” Amber asked.

Josie rubbed at her face. “I don’t think so. I really want the job.” She took a deep breath and looked up at them. “I think I’d regret it if I didn’t give the acting one last shot. Working at the kennels was never going to be a long-term career path. I feel like it’s the sort of job you should do because you love it, and I’m not sure I do.”

“Wow,” Amber said sadly. “I can’t believe you’re going to leave.”

Amber’s words made Josie panic and she was filled with doubt again. “Oh God, what am I doing? I love my life here. I’ve never felt so settled. Why would I give that up?”

“Because this is a great opportunity,” Tara said.

“I’m so confused.” Josie automatically looked towards the door when it opened. Sam beamed at her from the doorway. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Hurrying over, she greeted Sam with a kiss. Then she stood at the bar asking him about his day and hanging off his every word. When he asked how her day was, she shrugged and said it was the same as always. That was far from the truth, obviously. It wasn’t every day she accepted an acting job in London. She ended up telling him the same as she’d told Annette – that she had more time to think about the job.

“I’ll get back to the girls,” she said when Sam glanced at the pool table and nodded a greeting to the group beside it. “See you later.”

He gave her a quick kiss, and she went back to the table in the far corner.

“I didn’t tell Sam,” she said in hushed tones. “I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything.”

“You might be underestimating him,” Tara said. “If he knows how much the job means to you, he should be understanding. And it’s not like you’re splitting up with him. You can still have a relationship.”

Josie reached for her wine glass and twirled the stem. “He’s made it very clear how he feels about long-distance relationships.”

“Sam loves you,” Tara said bluntly. “He’ll soon change his mind about long-distance relationships when it comes down to a choice between that and losing you.”

Josie certainly hoped so. “Part of me wishes they’d never offered me the job,” she said. “I was perfectly happy a week ago.”

To change the subject, she asked Amber about Kieron. It was guaranteed to get her talking. Josie nodded along and made the odd comment. Eventually, Tara rolled her eyes and moved the conversation on again. It was a struggle for Josie to pay attention, and she was glad when Sam finally came and sat with them. She leaned into him when he put an arm around her shoulder, and she suddenly felt like crying.

They didn’t stay for long after that and walked home in an unusual silence.

He squeezed her hand as they neared the gate at Oakbrook. “Are you staying at my place?”

“I think I’ll stay at home.” She didn’t offer an explanation. She didn’t have one, other than she was feeling deceitful for not telling him the truth about the job.

“Shall we do something tomorrow?”

She tensed. “I was actually planning on a quick trip up to Oxford. Just for one night. I haven’t seen my parents for a while and my friend Emily is back there for the weekend so it seemed like a good time.” Actually, Emily had just messaged her that afternoon to say she was in Oxford for the weekend and asked Josie to come too. Josie had told her she was too busy, but it suddenly seemed like a good idea. It would give her some much-needed headspace. “I only spoke to Emily today,” she said.

Sam looked disappointed but didn’t say anything.

“Could you do me a favour?” Josie said.

“Does it involve me helping Annette with the dogs while you’re gone?”

“She’ll say she doesn’t need any help, but I’ll feel better if I know you’re calling in.”

She smiled sweetly as he agreed.