Tom was angry with both himself and Eleanor as he headed towards the main house for dinner.
She had no right to say those things about him. She didn’t know him. Didn’t need to know him.
He groaned at his own failings. He shouldn’t have agreed to cut the ribbon for the wretched walk. The village had nothing to do with him. He didn’t know anyone there. It had only been the trigger of the word ‘cancer’ that had persuaded him to say yes.
The problem was that he was still here at Willow Tree Hall in the first place. One day had led to the next and then the next. It was time to leave before he became too close to everyone.
Still feeling irritated with himself and everything, he sat down at the dinner table in the dining room. He had tried to decline their invitation to eat with them every evening but to no avail. ‘You’re family,’ he was repeatedly told. Except he wasn’t.
He had no family. He was better off alone. That was the only way to get through life, wasn’t it? The only way to survive.
Everyone chatted about the walk, which appeared to have been a huge success, despite his lack of appearance.
Tom kept his head down and tried to get through the meal as quickly as possible.
But, as usual, he was swept into the conversation.
‘I hope your foot isn’t too sore,’ said Arthur, looking across the table at him.
‘It’s fine,’ said Tom, realising his sullen tone of voice made him sound like a teenager. ‘Thank you.’
‘Well, darling, you were most definitely missed,’ said Rose, reaching across to help herself to more salad.
‘Yeah, where were you?’ asked Sam. ‘I hear you missed the ribbon cutting.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Annie quickly told him.
‘I agree,’ said Rose. ‘Mainly because I totally stole the show in my bodice.’
Sam muttered something under his breath about being glad he wasn’t there.
‘Anyway, you can come and open next year’s walk for us, Tom,’ carried on Rose. ‘Do your bit for cancer, as it were. Just wait until you hear what I’m planning to wear next time!’
But Tom had heard enough. ‘I don’t intend living here forever,’ he snapped, abruptly standing up. ‘So I won’t be here in a year’s time. In fact, I think it’s best I leave as soon as possible.’
Only the sound of a shocked silence filled the room before he quickly walked out of the room. He hobbled across the entrance hall and flung open the French doors to head out onto the patio at the back of the house. There he took gulps of fresh air to calm himself down. And then he groaned at what he had done.
He had been rude to a warm, loving family who had treated him as one of their own. They had opened their home to him and he had snapped and snarled like a surly teenager. What was wrong with him? The last thing he had ever wanted to do was hurt Sam or his family.
He sank down onto the rickety wooden bench with a heavy sigh.
‘Thought I’d find you out here.’
Tom looked up to find Sam walking across the patio towards him.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Tom. ‘I’ll apologise to the family.’
‘Don’t worry about that now,’ said Sam, sitting down next to him. ‘They understand, you know. You should have seen what they put up with from me and Will when we were younger.’
‘Yes, but I’m over thirty,’ said Tom with a sigh. ‘I can’t get away with acting like a stroppy teenager anymore.’
Sam shrugged his shoulders. ‘We all have pressure valves that need releasing once in a while. Even someone as closed off and private as you.’
‘Is that what you think I am?’ Tom frowned. ‘Closed off?’
Sam was quiet for a moment before he replied. ‘I think you had no one to teach you or show you how to behave when you were growing up. Most people let you down so you had to figure out everything on your own. And you’ve continued to battle everything on your own throughout your adult life as well. You never ask for help. And it’s tough to cope with everything alone. Especially now you haven’t got your gran.’
Tom bowed his head and stared down at the crooked paving slabs beneath his feet. ‘It was the mention of cancer,’ he said. ‘It just brought it all back.’
‘I’m not sure the grief ever leaves us,’ said Sam, staring out across the garden. ‘It just hurts a little less with each passing year.’
‘I keep trying to hide mine,’ said Tom. ‘And look where that’s got me.’
All alone, he added to himself.
Sam shook his head. ‘I think Will’s definitely still running from his, if it makes you feel better. Even after all these years. There’s no manual for this kind of thing.’
‘It doesn’t, but thanks.’ Tom took a deep breath. ‘There’s something else. Something I have to tell you.’
Sam frowned. ‘Okay. Go on.’
Tom forced himself to speak. ‘I’ve got writers’ block and it’s bad, I’m afraid. I haven’t even started on the new album yet. I can’t think up a single lyric at the moment.’
To his amazement, Sam sagged back on the bench in what appeared to be relief. ‘Is that all?’
Tom was shocked by the lack of reaction. ‘What do you mean?’
Sam laughed. ‘I thought you were going to tell me that Aunt Rose had made a pass at you or something.’ He looked at his friend. ‘For the record, I had realised about the album. That’s why I thought you might like coming out here to stay with us. Obviously I was wrong.’
‘No, you weren’t,’ said Tom, surprising both of them with his words.
It was time to admit to himself that he had been enjoyed the majority of his stay at Willow Tree Hall. That despite the minor irritations he had begun to find a certain amount of peace there. ‘I’d like to stay for a while longer actually, if that’s okay with everyone. It is helping, the quiet here.’
‘Good. That’s what I thought,’ said Sam, before standing up. ‘I’ll talk to the family.’
But Tom shook his head. ‘Nope. I’m old enough to apologise for myself.’
He found Rose and Arthur in the drawing room.
‘I’m sorry for my rudeness just now,’ he said, standing in front of them both.
‘Dear boy, there’s really no need to apologise,’ said Arthur, waving away any concern with his hand. ‘We would hate to see you leave, of course, but nobody from this family will judge you if you do. You’ll always be welcome back here.’
‘Thank you,’ said Tom. ‘And I was very much hoping it would be okay for me to stay on a while longer. If you’ll have me.’
‘Darling, of course we will!’ said Rose, leaping up to give him a hug. ‘And never apologise for having passion running through those veins.’ She leaned forward to whisper, ‘It makes the sex much more exciting!’
As he gave her a smile to mask his blushes, he saw Arthur roll his eyes and realised that Rose hadn’t whispered quietly enough. Or perhaps that was deliberate.
Next, he went to find Annie, who was washing up in the kitchen.
‘I’m sorry for my outburst,’ he told her. ‘I shouldn’t have been so rude.’
‘Thank you,’ she replied with a soft smile. ‘But there’s really no need for an apology.’ Then she hesitated before carrying on. ‘You know, if any family can help you with whatever it is that you’re struggling with, then this is the one. They’re a warm, loving bunch, who open their hearts and home up to anyone they think needs it. Including me.’
Tom wondered what had happened to Annie to cause her such pain.
‘I had no one when I came here,’ she carried on softly. ‘Apart from Megan and Eleanor, of course, but even Eleanor was in London. I’ll bore you with my story another time, but trust them, these are good people.’
He nodded. ‘I will. And I’m hoping to stay on for a while longer, if that’s okay with you.’
Annie broke into a smile. ‘That’s great. And Sam will be really pleased as well. You’re a good friend to him.’
Tom went up to his room, thinking how easily they’d forgiven him. And wondering what on earth he could do for the family to repay their kindness.