Eleanor woke up mid-morning in Tom’s empty bed at Willow Tree Hall.
At some point, she had wearily let Dylan out to head downstairs but had staggered back to bed after arriving at some late hour in the middle of the night.
She lay there, still feeling in a dreamlike state. The hangover didn’t help, of course. But most of all, it was the fact that Tom had kissed her.
Tom had kissed her! In front of everyone! Well, in front of her friends anyway. It had only been an accidental meeting of lips and had lasted a second or three. But at the time it had felt like hours.
And she hadn’t wanted it to end.
That, to her, was the most shocking realisation of all. But she was desperately brushing it off. It was a crush. He was a talented, good-looking superstar. That was all.
She felt embarrassed about what had happened. And suddenly uncomfortable about sleeping in Tom’s bed. She quickly got up and dressed, meeting Annie as she reached the bottom of the stairs.
‘Morning,’ she said, wincing slightly as she spoke.
‘Morning,’ muttered Annie, looking as rough as Eleanor felt. ‘Coffee? Tea? New head?’
‘No, thanks,’ said Eleanor. ‘I’d better head back to Mum. She’s been on her own for a few days.’
‘Of course,’ said Annie, rubbing her temple. ‘Megan text to tell me that she’s never drinking ever again.’
Eleanor grinned. ‘She says that every time.’
‘I know.’ Annie gave her a hug. ‘I had such a great weekend with you. It was so lovely to have you stay with us.’
‘I really enjoyed it,’ said Eleanor, giving her friend a squeeze.
‘Dylan’s going to miss you,’ said Annie.
‘And I’m going to miss him too,’ said Eleanor. And she meant it, having spent so much time with the dog over the weekend. ‘Just don’t tell anyone I said so.’
‘I won’t. I think Tom’s back later so he’ll settle down again.’
Eleanor gulped and immediately made her exit. She headed back to The Forge shortly after, desperate to get away before Tom arrived back.
How could they have ended up kissing? And how could something so brief feel so good?
But the chances were that he wouldn’t stay long at the hall anyway and would be gone soon. Then things would settle down in Cranley again, she told herself.
Her mum was sitting at the kitchen table with the newspaper when she finally made it home.
‘Did you have a good time?’ asked her mum. ‘I looked out for you on the TV, but I couldn’t see any of you. Apart from that nice Tom, of course. Wasn’t he amazing?’
Eleanor nodded, still thinking of their kiss. That had been pretty amazing too. She stroked the braid that she still had in her hair as she replayed it over and over in her mind.
‘I bet it was incredible to be there,’ carried on her mum, putting down the newspaper with a heavy sigh.
‘It was,’ said Eleanor, staring down at the huge photo of Tom on the page. She wondered whether she could cut out the photo and then realised that her crush was perhaps worse than she’d thought. ‘You’ve never seen so many people. It was like…’
But she stopped as her mum’s face crumpled into tears.
‘What is it?’ she asked, rushing over to crouch next to her. ‘Is it your foot?’
Her mum shook her head. ‘I’m just being silly,’ she replied. ‘Tell me about your fun evening.’
Eleanor shook her head. ‘Not until you tell me what’s made you cry.’
Her mum brushed away a tear from her cheek and gave a small giggle as Daisy the donkey peered through the back door.
‘You see?’ said her mum, smiling. ‘Animals understand.’
Eleanor held her mum’s hand and tried to ignore the donkey staring at them. ‘You know I can’t bear to see you upset, Mum. What is it?’
‘Oh, it’s everything!’ she answered, sounding more upset than Eleanor had heard her in a long time. ‘I mean, it’s lovely having you around. But I envy you. You had this fabulous life in London and now you’re down here with your friends and going to rock festivals.’ She gave her daughter a teary sad smile. ‘I just keep wondering when mine will begin.’
Eleanor sank down onto the chair next to her mum in shock. ‘I’ve never heard you talk like this before.’
‘Maybe I didn’t want to admit it to myself,’ her mum told her with a shrug. ‘I’d love to see other countries and a bit of the world. Even have a small holiday. If only I didn’t have so many responsibilities.’
They both glanced to the door where Daisy had wandered away and was gently hee-hawing at Buttercup the goat.
It suddenly struck Eleanor that her mum had trapped herself in taking care of her daughter and now all of the animals.
‘Maybe Arthur is right. Perhaps it’s time to rehome the zoo,’ said Eleanor gently. ‘Maybe it’s time to let yourself be a bit selfish, like I’ve been.’
‘You’re not selfish,’ her mum told her.
But Eleanor knew that wasn’t true. ‘You gave up so much to raise me by yourself,’ she said, taking her mum’s hand and giving it a squeeze. ‘If I haven’t ever said thank you then it’s because I’m an ungrateful cow. I’m sorry. I should have been around more these past few years.’
‘You’re just fine, my beautiful girl.’ Her mum suddenly looked serious. ‘You really think I should let the animals go? I don’t know if I can.’
‘I honestly do think it’s for the best,’ Eleanor told her. ‘I know you’ve been trying to help, but maybe there’s other places where they can be. Better places more suitable for them.’
Her mum nodded, deep in thought.
Eleanor pressed on. ‘I was googling how to take care of Daisy and donkeys like a mate. And it’s not just Daisy. Buttercup needs other goats too. They need other animals. They get lonely.’
‘They’re not the only ones,’ muttered her mum.
Eleanor looked at her mum. ‘Maybe it’s time to be brave and get out there into the dating world again.’
Her mum grimaced. ‘I don’t think so. Not after last time.’
‘Mum, that’s ancient history.’
Her mum gave her a soft smile. ‘I’ll think about it,’ she told her daughter.
‘Which bit?’ asked Eleanor.
‘All of it,’ said her mum. ‘I promise.’ She visibly brightened up. ‘So what are your plans today?’
Eleanor shrugged her shoulders. ‘I have no idea.’ She realised with a shock that it was true. ‘For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan or any idea where I’m going.’
‘Well, that’s not a bad thing,’ said her mum. ‘Stay here with me for a while. You’ll find your path soon enough. In the meantime, you’ve got your friends here. I love you, you know.’
Eleanor wrapped her arms around her mum, grateful for the warmth and strength that she was feeling. ‘And you as well,’ she murmured back.
Afterwards, as Eleanor headed into the hallway, she gave a start at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and was that yesterday’s mascara under her eyes?
If Tom saw her now he would think the absolute worst about her.
She scratched at her neck. The eczema was worse than ever. She wasn’t sure if it was the hay, the stress or the donkey, but whatever the reason, she had to get it sorted. Surely she could control that small part of her life?
She could just about remember the ingredients she had used in the past to treat her inflamed skin. She was hoping she had enough to at least soothe the itching. Once in her bedroom, she ripped open one of the boxes she had brought with her and started to assemble everything. She had the remains of some shea butter in a tub, which would just be enough. She didn’t have nearly the right amount of beeswax but had a tin or two of lip balm which she thought might help. In fact, she didn’t have many of the ingredients required, but desperate times and all that, so she would have to improvise.
She carried her box downstairs and used an old teacup to measure everything out. Half a cup of sunflower oil from the kitchen cupboard went into an old glass bowl. She added the two beeswax oil lip balms as well. Then she tipped in the remainder of the shea butter. Finally she put in a few drops of vitamin E oil that she had found right at the bottom of the box.
She was just about to start melting the whole lot when she spotted a small bottle of lavender oil in the corner of the box. She tipped in the last few drops from the bottle as well. Then she placed the glass bowl over a pot of simmering hot water and let it all gently melt. Once it was liquefied, she stirred it with an old wooden spoon and left it out to cool.
She was exhausted by the weekend and had already decided to have an early night. Just before she went to bed, she remembered the cream and slathered it all over her neck and hands.
The following morning, she stared in the mirror. Her neck was far less inflamed. In fact, it was almost normal skin colour. No redness or soreness remained there or between her fingers. For the first time in a very long time, Eleanor felt a small sense of accomplishment.