After a sleepless night of tossing and turning, Eleanor had finally fallen asleep at dawn. When she woke up, it was late in the morning. Her boyfriend Lucas had left for his high-flying city job many hours earlier.
She got up out of the huge bed and staggered over to the window. Flinging open the curtains, it took her eyes a moment or two to adjust to the bright sunlight. But when the city view finally came into focus, she sighed. London. That big, beautiful, brash, bonkers capital city. Her city, or at least it had been for the past eight years after leaving university.
It had been such a contrast to the tiny village of Cranley where she had grown up. It had taken a while to get used to the busy streets and the constant noise. But she had battled through her fears and had finally conquered the metropolis.
Most of all, it had been a city to escape to, away from the pain of her teenage years and her parent’s broken relationship.
And now? She still couldn’t believe that she had been made redundant. What on earth was she going to do?
Glancing at her emails gave her some idea. She had been called into the Human Resources department that afternoon to receive her redundancy package and to hand back her office pass card.
She scratched absent-mindedly at her neck. She could feel yet another eczema patch appearing. She dragged her hand away, not wanting to make it any worse and went to check in the mirror.
She sighed at her reflection. There it was. An even bigger patch of scaly skin than the last time. She glared at herself in the mirror, her green eyes scowling. She hated her eczema. It showed through every make-up and disguise that she had tried. And she had learnt a long time ago that looking anything less than perfect meant an unhappy ending for everyone.
She knew the eczema was a sign of stress. But Lucas’s fancy bathroom soap that he insisted on using didn’t help either. The stuff her boyfriend used was hideously expensive, which was ridiculous given the number of chemicals it had in it. Although it did smell very nice, she privately thought.
She glanced down to see the red patches forming at the base of her fingers as well. She smeared a layer of E45 cream over the various patches but knew that it would be weeks before they went away again.
If she had the time, she could make up her own cream as she had done many years ago, but there was never any time these days. Every day she was rushing to some book or album launch, a party, some kind of movie premiere. Besides, the eczema always appeared when she was worried and, right now, she was on a high level of anxiety.
The trouble was that she was just so used to being in control of her own destiny. She had wanted good grades and had achieved them at college. She had wanted a career and she had made it happen. Okay, so it hadn’t exactly been the high-flying journalism job that she had craved but she had gone along with it for as long as she could.
Except her career had just crashed to a halt. The floor had been taken away from her and she could feel herself tumbling downwards with no safety net.
Feeling her pulse begin to race with the stress once more, she turned away from the window and decided on a plan for the rest of the day. She just had to take control again. That was all. She could handle it. She was strong enough.
She quickly got dressed and paced across the polished floorboards into the lounge, glancing at the designer sofa. Expensive but not exactly comfortable. Not that she wanted to relax anyway. She was too uptight.
She briefly thought with longing about her own studio flat where she had lived for two blissful years. After years of flat-sharing, she had found a tiny place to rent by herself. The rent had been extortionate and had eaten up most of her meagre salary, but it had been worth it to have her own space, without worrying about her flatmates ‘borrowing’ from her designer wardrobe. Best of all, there was a tiny Juliet balcony where she had been able to plant up some window boxes full of flowers and herbs which she had used for various oils to help her skin.
But then her precious little flat had been declared unsafe due to subsidence so she had temporarily moved in with Lucas whilst deciding where to go next. Her landlord had promised to find her another apartment but it had never happened. So after seeing Lucas for two years she had moved in three months ago. It had been a reluctant joint decision. Neither of them had been quite ready for the next step in their relationship. And it was the longest she had ever lived with anyone apart from her mother. But after a few nervy first days, they seemed to be getting along, even if his choice of bathroom soap was causing her skin problems to flare up.
She stared around the huge space of the lounge, wondering what to do next. As usual, she decided not to hang around the flat on her own. It was too empty. Too cold, despite the sunny day outside. And she didn’t like the way every noise echoed around the place.
So she decided to head across the capital to pick up her redundancy package.
Back at the office, Eleanor was grateful not to bump into Theresa or Kourtney in the corridors or the lift. That would have been particularly awkward. Thankfully the meeting with the Human Resources manager was brief and she was able to quickly get out of there. On the way home on the bus, she flicked through the paperwork, at least assured that the magazine had given her the three months’ pay-off that she had been promised. That would last her the summer, but then what?
The trouble was, the newspaper and magazine worlds were in sharp decline due to online competition and jobs for experienced journalists were thin on the ground.
Sighing, she glanced out of the window and just caught sight of the Shard, glinting in the afternoon sun. She smiled as she recalled meeting Lucas for the first time up on one of the top floors, the city glittering far beneath them. It had been a fancy party, full of celebrities and high-flying bankers, one of which was her future boyfriend. He had been handsome, witty and, she had quickly realised, a like-minded spirit, somebody who was anxious to move quickly up the corporate ladder. Except his career had headed higher and higher whereas hers had stagnated.
She shook her head and brought her phone out of her handbag. She was a victim of bad timing, but that didn’t mean she had to think like one.
She set about working her way through all the contacts she had made in the media. But after spending the rest of the afternoon searching, she felt exhausted by the lack of work out there. Her worst fears were confirmed. Things were tight across the whole industry. There were no spare jobs to be found anywhere.
Feeling overwhelmed, she decided she needed a drink. She took one of Lucas’s crystal wine glasses from the display cabinet and poured herself a large chilled Prosecco.
She continued to idly flick down the list of contact names but knew it was a fruitless search. She bit back the tears, feeling more frightened that she had done in a long time. What on earth was she going to do now?
She was halfway through her third glass of wine when Lucas finally returned from work later that evening. She automatically checked her hair, smoothing down a rogue wave that had kinked out of place. She’d just slicked on some more lip gloss so that was already in place. Finally, she switched on a smile. ‘Hi.’
‘What a day,’ said Lucas, by way of greeting. ‘Bloody markets had millions wiped off them.’
Eleanor watched her boyfriend as he continued his rant. Some might have said that he was a little too obsessed with money, with an excessive amount of one-upmanship over his colleagues at the stock exchange where he worked. But she found that competition healthy, exciting even. It showed drive and initiative.
Lucas’s eyes suddenly frowned as he stared down at the wine glass on the coffee table. ‘Is that the Villeroy and Boch?’
‘I don’t know,’ she replied, suddenly on edge. He could be a bit precious about his belongings, most of which appeared to come with a high price tag.
‘Jesus, Eleanor!’ He picked up the glass and glared at her. ‘You know I only use them on special occasions. You’ve already broken one. Do you know how much they cost?’
She rolled her eyes. She didn’t need another bout of nagging about how accident-prone she was. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘But I didn’t think it was that important considering I lost my job.’
Lucas was holding up the wine glass to the light, checking for damage, when her words appeared to register with him. ‘You lost your job?’
She nodded miserably. ‘Yup.’
He looked shocked. ‘What happened?’
‘The magazine’s downsizing.’ They locked eyes. ‘I found out last night but you were asleep when I came home and then you left early. I wanted to tell you face to face.’
‘You should have text me.’ Lucas ran a hand through his short black hair. ‘I don’t understand. Why you? I thought that new girl had less experience.’
Eleanor ground her teeth. ‘Yes, but Kourtney’s Dad owns a grand prix team. She’s going to have better access to celebrities than I ever will. These things make a difference apparently. Compared to, I dunno, real actual experience.’
‘Wait a minute.’ Lucas frowned. ‘Does this mean that those Silverstone tickets are gone as well?’
‘Well, yes,’ she told him. ‘I would think so, seeing as I won’t be going there to cover all the parties anymore.’
Eleanor stood up to receive a hug, whilst waiting for words of comfort regarding her own predicament.
But the only thing Lucas said was, ‘I’d better call my boss. Damn. I’d promised them to him. There goes my massive bonus. What a godawful day this has turned out to be.’
Eleanor blanched at his brutal words but tried to remain calm as she sank back onto the sofa. They were two peas in a pod, her and Lucas. They lived and died with their careers.
After a short phone conversation, Lucas wandered back into the lounge. ‘It appears I’m unscathed, thank goodness.’
‘Oh, goody,’ said Eleanor sarcastically, her calm posture suddenly snapping. ‘Any kind of sympathy would be great, you know, when you get over your own personal loss.’
Lucas looked sheepish. ‘Sorry. It really sucks. You know I’m upset for you. It’s just things are tight at the bank at the minute as well and I could have done with your connections. Look, I’m sure it’ll turn out okay.’
He had just stepped forward as if to take her into his arms when her phone rang.
Eleanor snatched at her mobile eagerly, hope surging inside that it was about a job. But it was only her mother.
‘Hi, Mum,’ she said, picking up and automatically fixing on her smile. ‘How are you?’
Expecting to bluff her way through the rest of the call as normal, she was horrified when her mum began to cry down the line.
‘What’s the matter?’ said Eleanor, feeling frantic with worry. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Oh, Ellie. I’ve done the most stupid of things,’ she said in a shaky voice. ‘I’ve broken my foot.’
‘Oh my god! How?’
‘Tripped over one of the kittens,’ said her mum.
Eleanor rolled her eyes down the line but didn’t say anything. There was no point trying to nag her mum about the number of animals she had in her house at any one time. That battle had been lost many years ago unfortunately.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked. ‘Where are you?’
‘I’m back home now,’ said her mum. ‘I’ve spent all day in A&E getting X-rays and then having the plaster put on.’
‘Poor you. Look, it’s late now,’ said Eleanor, checking the time. ‘I’ll come down on the train tomorrow and see you, okay? Maybe I’ll stay until the weekend.’
That caused her mum to cry again. ‘No, no,’ she said. ‘I don’t want you getting in trouble at work. You’re so important to them. You mustn’t rock the boat.’
‘It’ll be fine,’ said Eleanor, with a grimace known only to herself. ‘It’s bank holiday week so it’s really quiet at work. Don’t worry.’
‘Well, it’ll be lovely to see you after all these months.’
There was no sarcasm in her mother’s voice, but Eleanor still bit her lip in guilt. She had meant to go home at Easter but there had been that VIP party and she had had to stay in London to write up her story. So she hadn’t been back to Cranley since Christmas, and even that visit had been cut short because there had been rumours of a reality star checking out of rehab and she had needed to be there to get the scoop.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ Eleanor told her.
‘Okay,’ said her Mum. ‘I love you, Ellie.’
‘Me too,’ she replied, as always her voice stalling over those particular words. Some hurts could never be overcome.
She hung up and explained to Lucas what had happened.
‘So, I guess you’ll be needing to take care of your mum for a while then. Look, this is awkward,’ he carried on, suddenly not making eye contact. ‘My timing is obviously a bit off what with everything that’s happened, but I was actually kind of hoping you’d be moving out soon anyway.’
Eleanor took an intake of deep breath. ‘Move out?’
‘It was only supposed to be temporary, wasn’t it? You know, because you couldn’t stay in your flat. But it’s been, what, thirteen weeks?’
He’d been counting?
Lucas finally looked up at her, giving her a small smile. ‘Hey, you know me. I’m just a bit of a neat freak and you’re not, are you? You’ve got all your girly stuff everywhere. And you know I don’t do flowers.’ He glanced at the vase full of cut roses on the coffee table. ‘Besides, I’m just not ready for all that commitment, living-together stuff yet. You feel the same, I know you do. So maybe we’ll just take a little break from each other and see how we feel.’
The silence stretched out until she could finally splutter, ‘I see.’
Except she didn’t. Why hadn’t he mentioned this before? Or, she wondered, perhaps she just hadn’t picked up on his heavy hints.
‘But hey,’ said Lucas, frowning at her aghast face. ‘No rush. Take your time. There’s no need to start packing this very minute, okay?’
Packing? He wanted her out that soon?
‘I know! If you’re going down to your mum’s tomorrow, maybe you can leave your stuff with her for the time being? Look, I’m going out with the lads. It’s someone’s birthday. We’ll talk more later and sort something out, yeah?’
She nodded, putting on her bravest smile. As if she didn’t care that he was rejecting her. That everyone in London had rejected her during the past twenty-four hours.
Once he had left, she wandered into the bedroom and sank down onto the thick duvet.
She opened up the drawer of the bedside cabinet that Lucas had generously allowed her to use. She brought out the small keepsake box she had picked up a few years ago. Inside were a few trinkets, nothing special. But there, at the very bottom of the box, was a framed photograph of three teenage girls. She smiled, as she always did at this faded photo of her oldest and best friends.
Yes, Annie was now engaged to a future earl and living in an enormous stately home. And Megan had married her high school sweetheart and had three children. But here they were, captured in time all those years ago, trying to be cool, as all teenagers are desperate to be. Annie’s blonde hair was scraped back into a ponytail. Megan’s red hair had been cut ferociously short and was incredibly curly. Eleanor’s own long dark hair had been braided. But their wide grins all matched.
Their matching khaki cargo pants and black T-shirts made her smile. How many times had they sung that All Saints album into their hairbrushes?
Eleanor put the photo back and closed the lid of the box, sighing heavily at the thought of the little village that she had been so desperate to escape in her teenage years. Instead of hating it as she had done back then, right at that moment she yearned to see the village, have a long gossip with her friends and a huge hug from her mum. Megan was still living there and Annie had returned to Cranley the previous year after a long absence abroad.
She missed her friends terribly. They still phoned and messaged all the time, but she had only managed to see them for a couple of hours at Christmas before she had to head back to London. Once back in the city, there was always so little time to talk and catch up when she was dashing around from party to party in the middle of the night. It was a sacrifice she had thought was worth it. Until yesterday.
She made up her mind to make proper use of her time back in Cranley whilst she was there. She was going to catch up on all of her friends’ news. To rediscover each other and get close again. To help her mum whilst she was there and, literally, get her back on her feet.
Then, when she was ready, Eleanor hoped she could head back to the city feeling stronger and more in control than ever before.
She just wasn’t sure how on earth any of that was going to happen.