Cassius’s head was spinning as he continued toward the castle. He fought to school his features as he waited for the prince. He could still feel Prince Merrick’s warmth between his thighs and against his chest. To have his arms around the prince that way…it had been incredible, the kind of dream he would never have allowed himself to have, but which sneaked past his defenses anyway.

Cassius did not waste time with foolish thoughts outside of his stories and poems, and yet that moment with Merrick felt like the most brilliant, foolish thought he could have. As unwise as it was, he’d wanted it to linger.

“Cassius.” The prince interrupted his thoughts.

He could tell from the curious sound of Prince Merrick’s voice that he would remark about the whole incident, so he shook his head. “Please, Your Highness, we must go. We must hurry. You are already late.”

It was strange how he knew that because he’d spoken that way, the prince would concede. If Cassius hadn’t made it about himself and his position within the castle, he knew the subject would have been pushed.

Because he is a kind man. Because he would not want me to get into trouble. He knew those thoughts to be true as anger at himself filled his gut. He should never have gone on that ride, and he should never have allowed himself to get to know the prince as he now felt he did.

“Of course,” the prince replied. “But I would like to—”

“Through the kitchen, Your Highness,” he interrupted. “If we take the back entrance, we can ascend the rear stairs without being noticed.”

The corners of the prince’s mouth turned down slightly. The edges of his eyes creased, and Cassius felt as if he’d let Prince Merrick down in some way. Before the prince could speak again, Cas began to walk. They didn’t have time to linger, and he didn’t want to give himself even a moment to remember again what it was like to ride with the prince, to feel as if he flew with him, or the way his body responded. Christ, how could his prick have gotten hard with Prince Merrick?

Why didn’t he shove me away?

They were quiet the rest of the journey to the prince’s quarters. Some of the staff had given them strange looks, but a firm “Not a word of this” from the prince secured their silence.

Cassius speedily prepared Prince Merrick’s clothes, fought not to allow his eyes to linger or his hands to show any of the connection they yearned for as he dressed the other man.

His fingers sought skin. He desired to know what the prince felt like, how his stomach would move against Cassius’s hand without clothes and coats between them.

Was it him, or did the prince hold his breath? Did his eyes look heavy-lidded and his pupils dilated when Cassius’s right forefinger briefly touched his neck? “All finished, Your Highness.” Cassius stepped backward sharply before bowing his head. “Please hurry. Your… Lady Penelope Wellington will be waiting for you.”

The words tasted bitter on his tongue but were the reminder he needed. The prince blinked rapidly a few times as though Cassius had awoken him from some kind of spell. Maybe this was all a dream, a fairy tale in Cassius’s mind.

“Yes, of course. Thank you for your assistance, Cassius. I don’t require anything else of you.” The words were a lash of a whip against Cassius’s skin, though they shouldn’t have been.

“Yes, Your Highness,” he replied and with another bow, slipped from the room.

Cassius avoided the staff as much as possible, going straight for his chamber. He wasn’t surprised to see Valor standing beside his door.

“Fucking hell. What was that, Cas?” Valor’s voice was sharp and much too loud for Cassius’s liking.

“Quiet your voice. It was only a ride,” he replied as he shoved into his chamber, his only friend in the world at his heels.

There was a soft click behind him, ensuring their privacy. This time, Valor’s voice was lower when he asked, “What was that? You were riding with Prince Merrick.”

“Why are you asking what it was if you clearly know?” Cassius replied with his back to Valor.

“You know what I mean. You were on a private ride, upon one horse with the prince of Evergreen. Have you lost your fucking head?”

Cassius whipped around, facing him. “Mind your place.”

“You’re my friend.”

“It was nothing. What could it possibly be? He is a prince. He is a man. Aren’t I the one out of the two of us who likes stories?” He hoped his lighthearted reply changed the mood, but Valor still looked heavy, confused, worried.

“You will get hurt, Cassius. I do not know if the prince fancies men. I do not know Prince Merrick, but I know you, my friend, and you will get hurt. You don’t disappear with just anyone. I’ve never seen this look in your eyes before.” His brows knitted together. “You’re fond of him. I would bet a week’s pay on it. And even if he returned your attraction, he could never act on it.”

Cassius closed his eyes. The words beat around his chest like Ursula’s hooves upon the ground. He knew every word Valor had spoken was true. He was fond of the prince, indeed, even if it was mostly his prick that was interested…but Merrick was a prince, and he could never give in to the carnal cravings Cassius had, even if he did hunger for them too.

“I know what I’m doing.” Cassius opened his eyes. “This is my place of employ. I have a family to care for. This is nothing more than wanting my prick in him.” He bit back the anger he felt at himself for saying those things aloud. That wasn’t truly what he desired from the prince. “I will not let the wrong head lead my thoughts, my friend. You worry over nothing. You said you know me, correct? And there is nothing I would allow to interfere with my ability to care for my family.” Valor nodded slowly, but Cassius wasn’t sure if his friend believed him. “Shall we take our dinner now? I know you need all the energy you can get to keep up with Isabella.”

Valor rolled his eyes. “I have no troubles keeping anything up.” They laughed together before Valor threw his arm around Cassius’s shoulders. “This is the last thing I will say and only because I care about you. Be careful, more careful than you’re being now, and I am always here for you, my friend.”

Cassius nodded, appreciating Valor more than he could admit. “Thank you. I’m always here for you as well.”

When Valor pulled away, Cassius shrugged out of his coat. Valor sat on his bed and waited as Cassius changed his shoes, and then they went to the kitchen where they shared dinner with the rest of the staff. Everyone laughed and talked, but Cassius’s head wasn’t in it. His mind was with the prince…and their day.

“You may refer to me as Prince Merrick or simply Merrick for this trip. We are just two companions enjoying a simple horse ride together.”

“I don’t bite.”

“I thought…maybe your family would like to have it. To know you are…well cared for and…safe.”

What the prince had done for him…drawing his likeness with such skill and for Cassius’s family…why would he do something like that? He couldn’t make sense of it, not from their time in the barn, nor from their ride today. The truth lingered there, teased the edges of his brain, but Cassius couldn’t let himself believe it. There was no way Prince Merrick could be interested in him. Unless it was as Valor said and what Cassius knew to be true: men sometimes lay with other men, even if just to satisfy their carnal urges.

But that did not feel like Prince Merrick. He didn’t seem to be the kind of man who did such a thing. I don’t know him, not truly. Why am I pretending I do?

“Did you see Penelope Wellington? If the prince doesn’t fancy her, I think it might be to the insane asylum for him!” Theodore, one of the staff, said. A few people laughed, but others shushed him, looking around as though they feared getting caught.

White-hot anger sliced through Cassius.

“What is wrong with you! Don’t say such a thing so loudly!” Valor scolded him before his eyes darted to Cassius.

“It was merely a joke,” Theodore said.

“An inappropriate one,” Valor replied. The table was quieter after that. Cassius pushed his plate away and tried to prevent thoughts of Prince Merrick and Penelope from weighing heavily on his mind. She would be what he wanted. She would be who he’d have, and Cassius had been the idiot servant who got a hard-on during a simple horseback ride.

The rest of the meal went by in a fog. The staff played cards and laughed, but Cassius couldn’t find it in himself to join them. He heard the whispers, felt the stares, but he did not care. Still, he didn’t retire to his chamber, knowing if he did, he would obsess upon things he had no business obsessing upon.

It was a couple of hours later, after brandy in the parlor, surely, when Harris came downstairs. “Cassius, Prince Merrick will be retiring to bed soon, and he asked that I fetch you. He’ll require your assistance.”

Cassius’s stomach tumbled like Elizabeth rolling down her favorite hill at the park. He didn’t have to look to know Valor stared at him. He could feel the intensity of his gaze.

He pushed to his feet and cleared this throat. “Thank you, Harris,” he replied before the two of them climbed the staff stairs.

His throat burned uncomfortably, though it shouldn’t have. This was his responsibility. He was here to care for the prince, and that was all this was. He needed to remind himself of that.

He followed Harris to the parlor. The moment he stepped in, his gaze immediately snagged upon the prince, who stood by the hearth, a woman’s hand on his arm, her head thrown back in laughter.

A heaviness pressed down upon Cassius’s chest, and then…then Merrick’s gaze clashed with his—as though he’d known Cassius had entered the room—and held on.

He looked…sad. How could he look sad with the elegant woman on his arm?

Prince Merrick’s stare jerked away, and sudden anger lit a fire in Cassius’s gut in a way it shouldn’t have. He was angry at the prince for being kind to him. Angry at him for the drawing sitting in Cassius’s coat pocket. Angry for the ride. He knew he had no right to feel that way, to be cross with the prince, but he was, and that only made him more enraged at himself as well.

Prince Merrick continued his conversation with Penelope. Her blonde hair fell in ringlets around her face, and her breasts were plump. Cassius figured if he’d fancied women, she would be the kind he’d like. Valor had tried to explain to him the joys of a woman’s breasts, but he still did not get it. Though he guessed Valor would not understand the joys of another man’s prick either.

She laughed a lot, he noticed. Yes, Prince Merrick was funny, but was he that humorous?

Every few moments, the prince would glance at Cassius before quickly looking away. His eyes were different, though Cassius could not explain why. Was he uncomfortable because of Cassius’s erection earlier? Did he think Cassius would speak of it? He didn’t plan to. Not ever.

Cassius might have had a guilty conscience, but he could have sworn Princess Marjorie watched him more often than the prince did.

When Mr. Wellington finally announced their departure, Cassius knew he had not been in the parlor long, though it certainly felt like it.

“It was lovely of Lady Penelope and her family to join us on such short notice, wasn’t it, Merrick?” the queen asked with a smile on her pretty face.

“Yes, Mother,” Merrick replied before he turned his gaze upon Lady Penelope. “It was delightful to share your company this evening.”

She smiled, her cheeks turning pink, and said, “You as well, Prince Merrick. I had a wonderful time.”

Cassius suddenly felt what should have been his clue that he needed to step down from this position right that moment. He rubbed his fingers together, wishing he had Prince Merrick’s drawing between them.

Without a word, Cassius followed the Wellingtons to the door, where they again said their goodbyes. The door was hardly closed before the queen clapped her hands together. “She is a dream, Merrick. You seemed to enjoy her much better than anyone else you’ve met.”

The prince paused, looked down before he cleared his throat. “She was very kind, Mother. Thank you, but I am not feeling very well. Can we speak of it in the morning?”

Before the queen could answer, the king said, “Yes, you may retire, Merrick.”

Without another word, the prince walked away from them. Princess Marjorie watched him go. When he reached Cassius, Cassius bowed his head. “After you, Your Highness.”

The tightness within his chest increased with each step up the grand staircase. When they reached Prince Merrick’s chamber, it was the prince who opened the door and then closed it behind them.

“Would you like me to draw you a bath, Your Highness?” Cassius asked, his throat unfamiliarly rough.

“No, Cassius. I…”

Instinctively, Cassius lowered his head. The prince was not going to let this go, was he? Cassius knew he would not, so he would have to approach it head on. “I apologize, Your Highness…for the ride. I do not know why it happened, and it won’t happen again. I can’t…” Cassius shook his head. “I know it was inappropriate. It is wrong. That I am wrong. But please…I need to care for my family.”

He closed his eyes, wishing he could have swallowed the words he’d just spoken before they’d gotten the chance to escape his mouth. He hadn’t meant to admit he fancied men. Not to the prince. But maybe he would be rewarded for his honesty. The prince was kind. Maybe he would take pity on Cassius—even though Cassius despised pity—since he knew Cassius had family to care for.

It felt like an eternity that he stood there, looking down at the floor, yet the prince did not reply. He heard a noise and realized Prince Merrick was moving, stepping slowly toward him, one foot after another. When his shoes were in sight, so much different than Cassius’s, they stopped.

And then…then his finger hooked beneath Cassius’s chin, and Cassius gasped when he wanted to sigh. It was warm and strong and so very male.

The prince nudged his chin up—and Cassius allowed him to—until their eyes met. The prince’s eyes had the same sadness in their dark brown depths that he’d carried earlier.

“If you are wrong, then I am wrong too.”

Cassius’s eyes widened. He found he could not breathe. Did he mean…?

“Your Highness?” he whispered as he was drawn into his searing gaze filled with so much longing, Cassius’s chest ached.

“I am a simple man with simple desires. Same as you.”

Before Cassius could decipher what was transpiring, Prince Merrick’s mouth came down on his. It began as such a gentle press of lips that Cassius wasn’t sure it was really happening. Then Prince Merrick’s tongue lashed against Cassius’s in what felt like a plea. Cassius could not deny Merrick or himself, so he opened up, and the prince’s tongue slipped inside.

They moaned together, and Cassius’s body burst into flames. He trembled, hungered for more. Cas deepened the kiss, attempting to learn the prince’s mouth. His tongue was in Prince Merrick’s mouth, and the prince groaned a soft sound that Cassius ate down. He’d swallowed Prince Merrick’s noises.

He didn’t know what it was about that truth that snapped him out of it. Cassius jerked back with such strength that he stumbled, tripping over his own feet before landing on the floor.

“Cassius…” The prince reached for him, and Cassius scrambled backward. Hurt set into the curves of Prince Merrick’s soft face.

He didn’t want to hurt the prince, but he could not do this, could not kiss the prince of Evergreen. He was the one who would lose in this. No one else.

“Please, excuse me, Your Highness,” Cassius said. “I do not feel well.” And then, without another word, he left the prince alone, failing again at his responsibility.