They were quiet as they climbed the stairs to the second floor. Cassius’s stomach was uneasy, twisting and turning in nerves, sadness, worry, and longing. How so many emotions could overtake him at the same time, he did not know, but they were there, squeezing his insides.

He hoped it was the right decision to bring the prince there. No one would speak of it. Discretion was a must for them, but…but it was odd too, Merrick here in this place where Cassius had lain with other men.

He unlocked the door to room 22 and then stepped aside. “After you, Your Highness.”

Merrick frowned at his use of the title but did not reply. He walked into the chamber, and Cas closed the door with a soft click behind them.

The room was small, much smaller than anything Merrick was accustomed to. The bed was not half the size of Merrick’s, with white bedding that was not as thick or lush as that of the prince’s. Tables on each side, an old lamp on each, and a bathroom across from the bed. By the window sat an armchair with an ottoman.

“I am sorry it is not much, Your Highness. It is not a worthy place for you to rest your head.”

Merrick flinched as though Cassius had hit him. “Do you really believe I would care about that?”

Cassius looked down, feeling ashamed. “No,” he answered, because he didn’t. He knew Merrick better than that. “I am feeling…out of sorts. We should not have stopped. If we hadn’t, we would have made it back to Pinewood Castle, and you would be with your family and in your own bed.”

Merrick took a step closer, then another one. “But then I would not be here with you.”

The answer untwisted some of the tension inside him, massaged Cassius’s worry, loosened the kinks in his muscles. “No, you would not, and that is what else is on my mind. The truth is that even though we’re here and you deserve better, I long for this night, even if I’m to sleep in the armchair and only watch you. I will forever hold the memories of you in my home, bowing to my mother and speaking to my sisters as if they were important to you, even though it will make the pain more intense as well. My mind is at war because I yearn for more of what will eventually break my heart, shatter it until it is a million flakes of snow instead of a whole.”

Merrick gasped, and Cassius wondered if he should not have spoken so frankly. He did not want the prince to feel any guilt, because he could do nothing to change things. Seeing the worry in his mother’s eyes had woken him up as if he had been asleep. He had acknowledged this was temporary; he knew it to the marrow of his bones, but he had still quietly hoped for a different outcome. Had still tried to believe in the happily-ever-afters in all the stories he read, but that would not be for them. It could not.

“Your pain is my pain.” Merrick stepped closer again. He did not stop until he stood directly in front of Cas, close enough that Cas could smell Merrick’s soap and skin. “My heart shall be a million snowflakes just as yours will be…and maybe they shall fall together.”

“I know,” Cassius replied, because he did. There was no part of him that did not believe Merrick cared about him.

Did his prince know what he had given Cassius? What their time together meant to him? He had made Cassius believe in the fairy tales he read. He had made Cassius feel when he had not known he was numb. Just today he had given Cassius back his sister.

“Tonight is all we will have left, isn’t it?” Merrick asked as the air in their room became heavier.

“It has to be, does it not?” The closer they grew to one another, the more they risked, the more dangerous it became. “The ball is soon. We’re prolonging the inevitable.”

Merrick nodded, his body suddenly going slack as though the weight of their future was too much to bear. “Then tonight we shall pretend that it is different. That I can call you mine and me yours. We will have one night in each other’s arms.”

One night was all they would have when they longed for their ever after…

“Yes, my prince.”

Cassius closed his eyes, felt the prince’s soft mouth upon his. His tongue lashed Cas’s lips before he parted them. It was difficult to be as close to Merrick as he wanted because of their layers of clothing. Still, Merrick’s touch somehow seared through him; he felt the warmth of Merrick’s hand against his back. Cassius raised his hands and cupped Merrick’s handsome face as they shared what he hoped was their first kiss of a night full of their mouths intimately attached.

He longed to hear the soft noises that came from Merrick’s throat when they kissed. As though he heard Cas’s thoughts, he made a soft sound into Cas’s mouth, and Cas swallowed it down as though it nourished him.

His prick ached in his slacks, and he craved to feel the hard floor beneath his knees, Merrick’s scent around him, and the hardness of Merrick’s prick in his mouth as Cas sucked him the way Merrick had done to him. “I would like to be on my knees for you, my prince. Would like to know the taste of your prick on my tongue.”

“Oh Lord, Cas, please…” the prince begged.

Cassius clasped Merrick’s hand and drew him to the side of the bed. With trembling fingers, he removed Merrick’s scarf, his coat, and then did as they both desired and lowered to his knees.

“You are beautiful, sweet Cassius,” Merrick told him as he fingered the strands of Cas’s hair that often came loose.

“As are you, my prince.” Cassius lowered Merrick’s trousers and undergarments. He removed Merrick’s shoes, then continued to strip him from his bottoms. “Sit down, please,” he whispered, and Merrick did, on the edge of the bed.

Cassius leaned in and inhaled the prince’s scent of eucalyptus and musk. “I shall smell you until your scent is engraved into memory. Each time I smell eucalyptus, I will think of you.”

“Your words slay me, Cassius. They are like a sword that cuts into me, yet also the stitching that makes me whole.”

Cassius smiled up at him from between Merrick’s legs. “You have a way with words yourself.” He then leaned in again, ran his nose from Merrick’s heavy sac, up his shaft, and to the head of his prick.

“Suck me, or I will die.”

“But it would be a good way to go, would it not? Me on my knees for you.”

“The best way to go,” Merrick replied and then gasped when Cassius pushed his foreskin back and sucked the prince into his mouth. He savored the taste of salt on his skin. Growled when Merrick pulled the tie from his hair and then fisted his hand in it.

Cassius alternated between sucking the thick shaft into his throat and lapping at Merrick’s heavy balls. He still could not believe he was here, with the prince who had stolen his heart. That he was lucky enough to know Merrick in this way that he did not believe any other person had known him. He didn’t mean sex. He knew Merrick had lain with men before, but Cassius knew his soul.

He let his hands roam over Merrick’s hairy thighs, savored the feel against his skin, craved more of the gentle tug on his hair that gave him a soft sting.

He took Merrick deep, smiling around his prick when Merrick thrust into his mouth.

“Cas… Fuck, I’m going to…”

His prick jerked in Cassius’s mouth, his seed thick and potent as it shot into Cas’s throat. He swallowed it, craved more, and was blessed with another ribbon that he swallowed as well.

He did not have time to come down before Merrick jerked him to his feet, yanked his trousers and undergarments, and stroked him quick and strong. He read Cas’s cues, and just as he was going to spend, Merrick lowered his head, sucked his prick into his mouth, and ate Cassius down as well.

They breathed heavily, looking at each other. “That was fun,” Merrick said with a smile.

There was a knock at the door, making them both jump and then dissolve into fits of laughter. Laughing with Merrick was one of his favorite things.

“It is our food.” Cassius pulled on his trousers. “I shall fetch it.”

Merrick nodded before he grabbed his clothing and disappeared into the bathroom. Cassius righted his own clothing.

It was Isayas himself who stood there with a cart in front of him. “Is this what I think it is, Cas?” he asked.

“It must stay quiet. He cannot suffer for this.”

Isayas’s eyes softened as though he saw something in Cas’s that Cas did not want him to see. First his mother and now Isayas? He’d always wondered if his mother knew of his leanings, but it was not something his family had ever spoken about. Isayas, of course, knew of Cas’s desires as he shared them, and they had enjoyed one another’s bodies before, but the look in Isayas’s eyes spoke of what he saw in Cas that went beyond desire, to the meat of what he truly felt for Merrick.

“You know this is a safe place. No one will speak of it. But you…you know what you are doing, right?”

“I’ll be fine,” he replied even though he knew he would not. “Thank you. I would like…I would like him to accompany me downstairs tonight.” He wanted Merrick to have the kind of night he had never been blessed with. Where he could dance with another man and no one would care because they desired the same.

“He’ll be safe, Cassius,” Isayas confirmed before he pushed the cart into the room. The moment he left and the door was safely closed, Merrick emerged.

“Let us eat,” Cassius said.

They climbed into the bed, sat cross-legged, and ate bread, meat, and potatoes as if they were at a table.

“How did it go with Emily?” Merrick asked.

“Perfect. She is not good with emotions or sharing how she feels, more so than myself. She misses me, worries of me, and she’s hurting. Her reaction was to shut me out.”

Merrick nodded as if he understood, and Cassius continued. “My mother…she guessed about us,” Cassius told him. “But she would not tell a soul.”

Merrick’s eyes went wide. “And she is okay with it?”

“She only worries about me.”

Merrick looked away, sadness evident on his handsome face. “I too worry of you. Are you okay that she knows?”

He was. “I do not care who knows. It is only the harm it could do that holds me back. If I could, I would walk proudly by your side.”

Merrick lifted a hand and cupped his cheek. “And I yours.” They were quiet again for a moment before he asked, “Isayas…have you and he…?” Merrick’s words trailed off.

The truth somehow felt like a betrayal. “We have, my prince.”

“It is like fire in my gut…knowing another man has had you.”

“It is the same in mine, knowing another has had you and that soon a woman will share your bed each night.”

Merrick’s eyes darted away, and Cassius wished he had not spoken. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Your pain is my pain,” Cassius repeated what Merrick had said to him earlier.

“My sweet Cassius,” Merrick replied before cupping Cassius’s cheek and kissing him again. “We shall make this the best night of our lives.”

Cassius grinned, kissed Merrick’s hand, and said, “It already is.”