DEFEAT WAS NOT an attractive look on any woman. I didn’t want to succumb to it, but lately it was as if no matter how strong I tried to be, something came up to test my resilience. Yes, things could’ve been far worse. I still had plenty of reasons to smile and so many things to look forward to. One of them was tonight’s date with Bryce. The carnival would be a great de-stresser, but my mind was elsewhere.
I’d just received the call that my mother was being moved to the sub-acute rehab facility a few floors down from the ICU. I was at work and hated that I wasn’t there with her. Guilt strangled me, and that overwhelming feeling threatened to drown me once again.
I drummed my fingernails against the back of my phone and contemplated texting Bryce to cancel. I had to get my priorities in check. Sophie would probably let me take the rest of the day off if I asked, but Kelsey was away with her family and the salon was short-staffed. I had responsibilities and obligations. I couldn’t keep ignoring them.
Fortunately, Sam agreed to step in.
“I’ll call you when I get there. Just relax. I already spoke to her and she knows you’re at work. She understands.”
“But I should be there.”
“You can’t be in two places at once, babe. I’m here to help you now. You don’t have to carry the weight of all this shit on your own anymore, okay?”
It was quite a weight, that was for sure. But it was my weight. She was my mother. I wanted to be able to do more but my hands were tied, and Sam was right. “Okay, fine, but as soon as I’m done here, I’ll run home, grab more of her stuff, and be right there. Can you make sure to tell her that?”
“I’ve got you covered. I’ll stay with her as long as she needs me.”
I smiled, holding back those menacing tears that kept creeping up at all the wrong times. “You’re a godsend. What would I do without you?”
“Ah, shut it. It comes with the territory. I know you’d do it for me if the shoe was on the other foot.”
Of course I would. I would do anything for him. It was how I knew he wouldn’t mind doing one last thing for me today.
“Sam?” I asked meekly.
“Yeah?”
“Can you do me one more favor?”
“Anything.”
“If you see Bryce, can you talk to him? I think he’s candy coating things. I’m sure he’s only trying to protect me, but . . . I don’t know . . . maybe he’ll be more frank with you.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll see what I can find out.” Sam exhaled and I knew from so many years of friendship that he was scratching at the little bit of stubble he’d grown over the past few days. Unless he’d shaved it since last night, which suddenly made me contemplate how much I didn’t want him to. I liked how it looked. It was . . . sexy.
Where the hell is this coming from? Oh, yeah . . . that seed.
Ever since our altercation last night, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. Oddly enough, we made it through dinner without crossing that line again, but that was only because I danced around the topic by keeping him focused on the new house.
I hoped that if I continued to avoid it, he’d eventually forget about it. But where did that leave me? I was still thinking about it. Still questioning all these unfamiliar feelings toward my best friend.
Quickly shirking my current state of confusion, I ended the call before I gave myself away. “Alright, let me get back to work before I get fired. Thank you again, Sam. This means the world to me.”
“Stop thanking me, but most of all, stop worrying. I’ll call you soon.”
After he hung up, I shot a text to Bryce, telling him it might be best if we rescheduled. I tucked the phone into my work apron before he could reply and left the break room to get this shift over with.
“I’m here with her now. I’ll let her tell you herself once you get here.”
Bryce was disappointed that I wanted to cancel but he was very understanding. I called him as soon as I left the salon to let him know I was on my way to the hospital. He was okay with not getting together tonight, but it seemed my mother had her own gripe.
“Tell her to stay home!” I heard her yelling in the background.
“Is she nuts?” I laughed. “I’m already halfway there. We can argue about this in person.”
“She’s quite agitated.” He chuckled. “You might not want to mess with her.”
“And you might want to sedate her.”
“You know I would never do that.”
“What’s she saying?” Mom’s voice was further away now, but still coming through loud and clear.
“Relax, Ella. She’s on her way. She says she loves you and can’t wait to see you.”
“Liar!” I blurted.
“Gotta keep my patients happy.”
“Yeah, and what about me? Don’t you want to keep me happy?”
“Of course.” He groaned. “That was my plan for tonight, but according to your mother, you’re being stubborn.”
“As a mule!”
“Damn, she has good hearing.” He was catching on quick. Bryce was mumbling into the phone, yet my mother could still make out our conversation.
If she didn’t stop, she might scare him off altogether. “I’m sorry to burden you with this. I’m sure you have less annoying patients to deal with. Go take care of one of them and I’ll be there in twenty.”
“She’s no trouble at all. I was on my way out, so I came to say hi and figured I’d wait here to see you.”
“You’re too sweet. Thank you.” My heart warmed at the thought of him keeping Mom company in my absence. Which also reminded me . . .”Hey, did you talk to Sam at all while he was there?”
He cleared his throat and replied, “Mmm hmm. Got him up to speed. He left about an hour ago to go to the transplant center.”
“Oh, shit!” I slapped my forehead with my free hand, the other still gripped around the steering wheel. “I can’t believe I forgot that was today.”
“Actually, it wasn’t. His appointment was for Monday, but while he was here I called the center to move some things around. I’m surprised he didn’t mention it to you.”
I pouted, deep in thought. “Yeah. Me, too.” It was odd that he hadn’t at least texted me, but then again, I was sure he didn’t want to make me more apprehensive than I already was. I looked at the time on the dashboard and wondered where Sam was now. “You know what, I better call him to see how it went. I’ll see you in a few, okay?”
“Sounds good. I’ll be here.”
I thanked him and continued to drive until I hit a red light. I dialed Sam and listened to it ring. When he didn’t answer, it went to voicemail. He never listened to his messages, so I didn’t leave one. Instead, I hung up and decided I’d try again in a little while.
Mom’s room on the rehab floor was much nicer than where she’d been in the ICU for the last few days. I moved about the slightly larger space, filling a drawer with some comfy pajamas and adding water to a vase for the hydrangea I brought from our yard. Big, round, pastel blooms that made her smile.
“Those look lovely. Have you been watering them regularly?”
I nodded, coming closer and kissing the top of her head. “Yup. I know how much you love them. I cut some for the house, too. They add a brightness that’s been missing since you’ve been gone.”
“Aw, baby. Soon. I’ll be home soon.” She patted the spot next to her. I sat and grabbed hold of her hand.
Bryce watched from the corner of the room, giving us space but smiling as he observed the exchange. “I’ll give you guys some alone time and be back in a little—”
“No!” Mom shouted over my head. “What I want is for you to take her to that carnival.”
“Ma!” I stiffened, gaping at her. “I just got here. I had a long day at work and I want to spend some time with you. Bryce and I can go the carnival anytime, can’t we Bryce?”
“Actually . . .” He winced. “This is the last weekend it’s in town, but it’s not a big deal. We can do something else another night.” He winked in my direction and then dragged his eyes from me to Mom, who scowled at him like a cranky child.
“You heard the man and I’m standing my ground. I want you to go, London. I’m tired anyway. I had my fill of visitors for the day between Henry, then Sam, and now this wonderful young man.” She pointed to Bryce with a beaming grin. I liked that she liked him. Not that winning her over could’ve been that difficult. Mom was easy to please. But knowing that she approved of my new boyfriend set me at ease. At least one thing in my life was going right.
Which brought me back to that daughter-guilt I couldn’t quite get rid of. “You know, I don’t have to be at the salon until three tomorrow afternoon. I was thinking of spending the night here with you, Mom. It doesn’t look like the bed on the other side is taken.” I peered over my shoulder and beyond the curtain that separated the room in two. “We can have a little slumber party. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
Bryce remained silent but Mom stared at me as if I were crazy. “Who in their right mind would want to spend the night here when they could be making out with Doctor Hottie at the tippy top of the Ferris wheel? Come on, London. Get real and then get the hell out of here.”
It was my turn to ogle the woman who claimed to have my best interests at heart. Was she for real?
I snapped my attention to Bryce in hopes he would save me. But he seemed amused, so I gaped at him in disbelief.
“Don’t look at him like that. He knows how I feel. You’ve been going nuts worrying about me. Go have fun! There’s nothing you can do for me here.”
Bryce shrugged, standing speechless at the opposite side of the room with his hands in his pockets. My mother’s selflessness wasn’t unheard of, nor was her need to play cupid, but how could I leave her here to frolic around at a carnival, eating cotton candy and riding The Whip?
But I could no longer ignore the weight of both sets of eyes on me, so I threw my hands in the air with an exasperated sigh. “Fine! I’ll go. Will that make both of you happy?”
“Yes!” Mom and Bryce laughed in unison and by the looks on their faces, something told me they’d been conspiring against me this whole time.
“You two can’t be left alone ever again. I don’t like it. Not one bit.”
Bryce sidled closer, joining me at my mother’s bedside. Cradling my chin in his palm, he tilted my head so our eyes met. “She’s in good hands and so are you.” He bent to kiss me, soft and quick, but satisfying all the same. “And if you’re not too tired, I’d love to show you a good time tonight.”
I smiled up at him, all my apprehensions melting away. He was a good man to deal with everything I dished his way. Who wanted a woman with this kind of baggage?
Bryce, that’s who. And I’d be an idiot to take him for granted. I reached out to caress his hand, on the verge of accepting his offer and asking him to sweep me off my feet.
But Mom interrupted by answering for me. “If the two of you don’t get out of here already, I’m calling security!”
“All right, all right! We’re going.”
Somehow, that daughter-guilt managed to fade away by the time Bryce and I made it to the elevator.