MY BEST GIRLFRIENDS, Allie and Emilia had finally convinced me to join them for margaritas at my favorite Mexican restaurant. I’d shut myself out from everyone and everything since Hunter left more than two months ago, but I couldn’t ignore their phone calls or dodge their invitations any longer. It was time to rejoin the land of the living, even if only for one night to get them off my back.
Allie’s glass was currently empty, her straw making an obnoxious slurping sound.
“I think you’re done. You’re sucking air.” I laughed and lifted my own glass to my lips for a much needed taste of the liquid comfort.
Allie motioned to the waitress to bring her another and then her eyes were back on me. “God, I needed this night out. Work has been torture. I haven’t gotten laid in months and I’m a cranky bitch.”
I nodded, silently, knowing all too well how it felt to have the worst day ever, one hundred plus days in a row.
My friends shared a discreet look. Emilia—the more reserved of the two—was first to break the uncomfortable silence. “How’ve you been holding up?”
“Oh, not this again.” I shifted uncomfortably in the booth. I could handle this one of two ways. Cry, which is what I usually resorted to. Or take another sip of my margarita and pretend it wasn’t a big deal that my life had fallen apart.
Feeling like a change of tune, I went for option two. “Listen, girls. I appreciate your concern more than you’ll ever know, but I came out tonight to avoid thinking about all this shit. It sucks, my heart is broken, I’m living with my mom like a loser because Hunter gambled away every last penny, and my marriage is over. Yes, I’m still upset. No, I don’t want it to be this way. But what more can I do? I have to learn to live with it.” Rehashing the ordeal created a knot in my stomach. No matter how flippant I sounded, I was still crushed beyond belief. Suddenly, the enchiladas I’d been looking forward to were unappetizing.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so insensitive. I can only imagine how difficult it’s been.” She paused then, looking to Emilia and then me with a hesitant expression. “It’s been really weird for all of us, too, because on one hand I am so mad at what he did to you but on the other—”
“I know.” I huffed, folding my hands on the table. “Hunter was your friend, too. I don’t expect you guys to hate him or to pick sides. That would be childish. But, ladies.” I leaned forward and tried to act as if this whole thing wasn’t killing me. “It is what it is.” If only it weren’t.
“How’re Sam and your brother dealing with all of this?” Allie asked, gritting her teeth.
I lifted my drink and sucked a big mouthful of my margarita. “Can we not even mention Memphis? I’ve barely heard from my brother since this all went down, and I can’t even remember the last time Hunter made mention of him. He’s off in Cali doing his own thing as if we don’t exist. But Sam’s another story. He would kill Hunter if he could. He’s furious. I miss him and all, but it’s probably better Sam’s not here for any of this. He feels betrayed too and I can’t blame him.”
Allie looked to Emilia and giggled. “I’m actually shocked he didn’t hop on the first plane home to come to your rescue.”
They always teased me about how overprotective Sam was. They saw it one way, I saw it another. He’d stepped in as a big brother when mine wasn’t around. He was my oldest friend and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for me. Except hop on a plane and come rescue me from falling to pieces.
“Yeah, I was kind of bummed, too, but he can’t leave. He has to at least finish out the year before he can ask for another transfer. Guess that’s what you two clowns are for. Reinforcements.” I draped my arm around Emilia and winked at Allie. They were better than just back-up friends, of course. They were lifelong friends.
“Seriously, though, London. Is there anything we can do to . . . you know . . . help?” Bless Emilia and her generous heart, but I knew what she was getting at and I wasn’t having it.
“Em, you are the sweetest thing, but I’m not taking money from you. I took on a lot of new clients at the salon when Karina left and I’m slowly building things back up, as far as finances go. I know I’ve worried you guys because I’ve been a wreck, but . . . I’ll be okay. I’m sure of it.”
“Of course you will, honey.” She reached across the table to pat my hand and gave me one of those half smiles that reeked of pity.
I hated seeing that emotion on their faces. It made me feel weak. And what woman in this day and age wanted to be known as fragile? It was so unbecoming, so nineteenth century. If Sam were here crashing our girls’ night out—which was totally normal—he’d tell them to back off. Hell, he’d cause a scene and dance on the tables just to turn this pity party into a good time.
But all that aside, I couldn’t be mad at them for caring. I had the best friends. There hadn’t been a single day since my world came crashing down that one of them didn’t call to check up on me. They were an amazing support system.
Now, if only Sam would get his ass home to fill the missing piece in the friendship circle.
By the time the waitress cleared away our dinner plates and dessert was on its way, I was feeling lighter, happier, than I had in a while. Granted, my friends struck a few chords tonight, but I’d been dealing with their antics since high school, and although our lives had radically changed over the course of the last ten plus years, I could always count on them.
“Is Reese walking yet?” I asked Emilia. Her cherub-faced daughter had recently turned one. This girls’ night was therapeutic, but I wanted cuddle time with that beautiful baby of hers soon.
She opened the photo album on her phone to show us a recent picture. “Almost. She stands without holding on to anything for a good while but then kind of plops to the ground and gives up before actually taking any steps. Crawling is her jam. She gets where she wants to go faster that way, I guess. And of course it doesn’t help that Nate carries her around like an accessory.”
It was horrible to be envious of your friends, right? Wasn’t that a cardinal sin? Emilia’s life with Nate and the baby were everything I always imagined Hunter and I would have. I sat across from her and listened with a smile, but inside my heart ached. What I wouldn’t give to live one hour of her day.
As she told us that she and Nate were going to try for a second baby soon, I felt my phone buzz in my bag. Saved by the bell, I thought, digging to the bottom of the oversized purse. Pulling it out, I expected it to be my mother, but my world stopped spinning when his name blared back at me.
Hunter.
Oh my God, why was Hunter calling me? I hadn’t spoken to him in months. My ears rang with the drumming of a too-fast heartbeat, my hands clammy and restless.
“What’s the matter?” Allie asked.
“It’s Hunter,” I croaked.
“Well, answer it!” Emilia urged.
It should be that simple, but it wasn’t. I was momentarily frozen by the prospect of hearing his voice again. It would hurt. It would be like pulling at a scab that was this close to healing. I didn’t know if I had it in me, but the curiosity of not answering would kill me.
“Hello?” I gaped at my friends for support as they stared back at me, equally jarred.
“Hey, London. It’s me, Hunter.”
No shit. Did he think I’d taken his number out of my contacts? Had he done that with mine? Why was he doing this to me? What did he want? I was frantic with worry, with too many scenarios swimming around arbitrarily.
“You there?” he asked when I remained silent a beat too long.
“Yes, um . . .” I cleared my throat and straightened in my seat. “Everything okay?”
I heard a long sigh, a groan even. Hunter wasn’t an evasive man. He usually cut right to the chase. But I could sense the apprehension in his tone, even through the phone. I didn’t like it.
“London, you think you can come over? Tonight, tomorrow, whenever?”
If my heart hadn’t been threatening to burst out of my ribcage earlier, it certainly was on the verge of breaking free now. “What? Why?”
There was that sigh again. That harrowing, unsteadying release of air. “I-I—”
“Would you just spit it out already?” I shouted, not caring who heard me. Why is he dragging this out? Why the sudden need to see me in person?
“The lawyer delivered the divorce papers today. I need you to sign them.”
They—whomever those assholes were—were wrong when they said words could never harm you. I’d take the sticks and stones over the words Hunter spoke any day of the week.
I closed my eyes and allowed what he said to penetrate. The finality of everything scorched through me like a wildfire blazing and ruining everything in its wake. How could I be so happy one second and so utterly devastated the next? How could he inflict this pain on me all over again?