Chapter Three
Lana
He came back? It’s strange, a heart I thought dead long ago begins to skip a beat.
My mouth dries instantly and suddenly my chest refuses to inhale or exhale. The day my father died was the last time I saw Mackson King. He never called, he at no time wrote, and he never came back. His betrayal was like a knife being twisted in my spine. Slow twists—the first was to gain my attention, the second to get me to care, the third when he had me fall in love with him. And the last—the most fatal twist of all—was when he had me believing in myself.
And now he’s saying he did return, and at the worst possible time too. He’d not answered one of my calls, returned any of my text messages, and Slater had admitted to killing my father. I begged Mack for a reason; I told him I’d understand. All I needed to know was why. An answer to my question, it was something I deserved.
It was two months later when Rex finally told me Slater’s reasoning for killing my father. A reason my brother fervently denied could ever be true. I didn’t know what to believe, but I would at no time stand up for my father whether he was innocent or not. He never earned that right from me.
But Mack gave me nothing, not a single word back to give me hope that I hadn’t just been fooled in the worst possible way. I was shattered, my brother broken and promising revenge on the one who killed our father and their entire family, one of those men I loved deeply.
It had been three weeks, with no word from Mack, and Corey was just there. Right time, wrong frame of mind. Corey had been there my entire life and he’d cared for me long before I knew it.
I never could see past Mackson King.
It was a moment of weakness, one of many in my life. It’s taken me close to five years to build up what my father stripped away from me. I didn’t have confidence instilled in me from birth like my friends. I never had a parent tell me that time passes and hurts would fade. My positive experiences all boiled down to seconds, minutes and hours with Mackson, and he broke my heart into a million pieces.
“I knew Jae messed with your mind, but to do that to me? I made promises to you Lana, I gave you all of me, opened up and told you about my past, my nightmares, about my hopes and dreams for what’s to come. A future I wanted with you, and still that wasn’t good enough for you. Three goddamn weeks and you were in bed with another man. Weak, that’s all you are.”
Mack’s words sting, their truths the sharp points digging into my skin. I nod, agreeing with him. His eyes narrow and he closes his mouth tight, no doubt wondering what game I’m playing.
After my father had passed, I had a lot to learn and I did it all the hard way. I had to find out who I was without my father putting me down or slamming shut every open door in my path. I had to respect myself before anyone else could. And that took me learning hard lessons about myself, and a lot of stumbling on my part. Real friends, fake friends, bad boyfriends and good guys, who I just couldn’t fall for.
“I can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to walk in on that, Mack.” My voice trembles as I imagine the reverse, if I had to see him with another woman. That would have rocked me to the core, destroyed everything inside me.
Mack huffs, pain etched into his features. He places his right hand over his heart, his hand curling into a fist, grasping his shirt fiercely. “You have no fucking idea what it took for me to walk away. To not storm into your room, kill Corey and to show you the evidence of how badly you destroyed me that day.”
Five years of searching every thought and feeling for who I am, making mistakes and also making right decisions, didn’t lead me to become a walkover anymore. I grew into a woman, who learned what I do and don’t deserve in this life, and there isn’t much I don’t deserve. I’m a good person who had crappy parents and I’m proud of who I am today, who I’ve become. Those low moments and massive highs of finding myself didn’t lead me to stand here and take shit from Mackson King. In my eyes he’s still the man who left me when my father died, he’s still the man who didn’t have the decency to talk to me. He wants to talk about being destroyed, bring it on.
“Was your mobile phone broken?” Mack’s head jerks back at my question. “Did you lose your voice?” This time his eyes narrow as he sees where I’m going with this. “Were your fingers broken?” Mack’s stance changes as he readies himself to reply. “Were your legs broken?”
“I. Came. Back.” He says each word clearly.
“Three weeks, Mackson,” I point out bitterly.
Mack’s head jolts back and his body stiffens from my sudden burst of anger. In any other moment, I might care about my appearance, knowing my veins are close to popping and my eyes are wide. I must look insane, but my rage is in control now. I will not take all the blame for us falling apart. I had a part, yes, but I’m not completely to blame.
“You didn’t have the decency to contact me, to send me a quick text message to say, ‘Hang in there’ or ‘I’m still here, wait for me.’ You ignored my pain and loss so easily, and then you turned every good memory we had into a painful one. When you disappeared at the lowest point in my life, you turned my love for you into hurt and confusion.”
Mack steps back and his face pales.
“Yes, I made a stupid decision five years ago to try to get comfort from someone who deserved better than a false moment, and it turns out that mistake had graver consequences than I could have ever imagined. I’m sorry I hurt you, but don’t stand there and put all of this… all we lost… solely on me. That’s not fair.”
“It was three weeks, Lana. Do you know how small of a time frame that is in life? That’s nothing. You didn’t even try to hold onto what we had. That shows me it never held any weight with you, that I was easily replaceable. I want a woman with guts, loyalty, and a strong mind, who will fight through the hard times, not run away.”
I sigh. He doesn’t get it.
“I should’ve gotten back to you sooner,” Mack replies in a hoarse voice. “Your voicemails, they killed me. Fuck did they kill me. But I got lost in my head, in the bottom of a bottle for longer than I care to admit. I hated Jae so much and the situation. I wasn’t someone to comfort you in the days following his death, I was someone who wanted to kill him all over again.”
“I can understand that, Mack. I don’t want to believe my father was capable of rape. But even me, his own daughter, I knew he had something dark inside him. Nevertheless, I needed you and it would’ve taken as little as an ‘I’m here’ in a text, Mack. I needed something.”
Mack lowers himself to the bed and bows his head. “You deserved that. I realized my mistake a long time ago.”
Silence fills the room and Mack stays frozen staring down at the ground. Everything about him appears the same as if five years of violence and fear hasn’t ravaged him as I feel it has me. But then again from what I know of his childhood, the past five years has probably been a walk in the park.
As I memorize each new scar on his hands while they flex through his short brown hair, I quietly admit to myself that I still love him. I never stopped. The hate I had built up—to keep him out if we ever crossed paths again—steadily recedes. Never had I imagined he had come back to me, and I’m not prepared to stop the flood of emotions, past and present. Do I want to stop those feelings? Years of wishing he had, and he did. It feels as if a tidal wave is building inside me, a gate opened, a bridge lowered, a yes which was forever a no. I want Mackson King and now I can allow myself to be okay with that.
What should I say? How do I ask him if he wants to rebuild what we thought was lost forever?
Mack stands and his stare takes hold of mine. His next words cause everything colorful around me to turn gray, every hopeful thought to fall flat and my heart to cease its skipping beats.
“But there’s no going back. I can’t forgive you for being with another man when I considered us together, in love. I need loyalty in my life, Lana, without it I can’t breathe. It’s essential to how I survive in this life.”
I don’t speak nor do I move as Mack watches me for one last long moment before he turns and leaves the room, shutting the door between us.
I slowly lower myself to the bed. My body stiff while a painful tightness takes hold of my throat. That’s it then, over before it could begin, again.
A little while later I’m staring out the window, sitting on a wooden chair, feet up and knees under my chin when Pacer walks into the room with a sandwich and bottle of water. He explains Slater will be home soon and then there will be a family meeting.
He waves his hand around the room and says, “Della has girly shit to do in here until then.” He leaves and I hear the familiar sound of a chair being pushed up under the door handle.
I used to play basketball with these boys, teach them how to write and spell over dinner in my family’s kitchen, and now they’re locking me in a room and stopping me from being able to leave.
I sigh and resume staring numbly out the window.
I hope the guys got Rex to their doctor for the bullet in his leg. He’s taken them in much worse places before, so I know he’ll be okay, most likely a few days on some crunches and then Rex will chuck them away and limp everywhere painfully in order to not look weak with crunches.
I huff out a laugh.
Some time later, I hear raised voices and what I think are quite a few heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. I place the book I was reading onto the desk and stand to face the door, assuming this will be Slater.
The door bursts open, but it’s not who I thought it would be. A slender brunette stands in the doorway, her mouth wide and her eyes rapidly blinking as if she’s hoping I’ll disappear with each blink.
“Oh my god,” she breathes.
Slater walks in past the woman, his eyes on me until he stops between us and looks to the brunette. “I had to make a split-second decision to get my brothers and I out alive.”
“Kidnapping,” the woman snaps. “I work for the government, Slater. Pretty sure kidnapping is frowned upon.”
She works for the government? What the hell am I mixed up in?
Slater smiles. “Baby. Notorious gang, shootings and illegal car racing. Pretty sure that shit is already frowned upon. Anyway, kidnapping is nothing,” he says in a matter-of-fact voice while casually placing his hands into his jean’s pockets. “Plus…” Slater glances at me and winks “…Lana is an old friend, it’s more like a forced get-together.”
The woman blows out a big breath and her eyes meet mine. “I’m Piper.” She smiles and sticks out her hand to me.
I take a step back and look to Slater. “She’s with the boys in blue and you’re calling her baby?”
“Piper isn’t a cop, she’s a protection officer for kids,” Slater replies and my eyebrows shoot up. For as long as I’ve known the Kings, they’ve run from and hated Child Protective Services.
“It’s a long story,” Slater replies to my surprised expression, and when he does Mack steps into the room and walks to the back wall. Leaning against it, he watches me.
My blood boils instantly. Why does he have to be here? He’s made his feelings towards me quite clear. So why the hell is he anywhere near me? When I realize my stare has turned cold and angry, I shift my gaze to Piper and decide to see what kind of woman she is. Not just anybody can be with a street thug. I’ve watched enough women leave Rex calling him insane and they’ve been right most of the time.
“So you’re the one my brother is trying to kill,” I state in a detached voice.
Piper's eyes narrow dangerously. “I hate your brother. If I ever meet him, he will not walk away with his balls still attached.”
It takes a lot to hold back my grin when Slater bursts out laughing. She’s fiery, and this has to be one of the few times I’ve ever heard Slater laugh.
Piper doesn’t take notice of Slater as she decides it’s time to stand her ground. “I thought you might be different from your brother. Actually, I’d heard you were. But it seems we need to get a few things straight—”
“No need,” I interrupt. “I’m nothing like my brother, in that I’m not upset about my father’s death.” Piper gasps as Mack and Slater visibly stiffen. “However, I do love him whether he’s an asshole or not, and while I couldn’t care less if he has balls, I will be the one who has to listen to him bitch about it.”
I give her a wink to let her know I’m just messing around and Piper surprises me by understanding and smiling. “Ooh, I like you.”
I smile.
Piper looks to Slater. “You said she was shy and I’d have to be nice and gentle with her?”
My eyes meet Slater’s curious ones. “Well, it seems a lot has changed in the past five years. Can’t say I’m not happy you finally found your backbone, Lana.”
“Slater,” Piper admonishes.
“It’s okay, Piper. Slater’s right, back in the day I was pretty pathetic.”
Piper frowns and Slater says, “That’s not what I mean.”
And Mack growls, “Don’t talk about yourself that way.”
I physically feel as if my eyes glaze over with ice as I turn my death stare toward Mack, but say nothing to him. We all stand in silence for a moment before I decide to break it, but not before I notice Piper’s curious eyes darting between Mack and me.
Did he keep us a secret all these years?
“Not to burst anyone’s psychotic bubble, but I do know none of you are going to hurt me. I’m not Rex, who believes y’all are the devil incarnate.”
Directing my next words to Slater I say, “You took the only family my brother has left. He hated you before for taking just one, how on earth did you think this would help?”
Slater places two fingers between his lips and lets out a high-pitched whistle. Within seconds Pacer enters the room, my head twists left to right, noticing I’m suddenly surrounded by Street Kings. Just missing one–Kelso.
“Because, Lana…” my eyes find Slater again “…this is all we had left to try. If this doesn’t work then Rex will leave me with no other choice but to kill him.”
My breath catches and my shoulders stiffen. “You can’t,” I declare softly, yet firmly.
Slater sighs heavily. “What other choice do I have? Let him hurt Piper, definitely not,” Slater finishes with a growl.
Piper moves to Slater and places a hand on his back and it seems to calm him down. My mouth opens and closes foolishly. I’m desperate to fight for my brother’s life, to save him, but I have no words to defend his actions. So many people have already died doing his dirty work. Their own choice to do so, yes, yet still at his orders. Slater is as protective of Piper as I am of my brother, and it’s not her trying to kill Rex.
I bow my head understanding there’s nothing I can say or do to help Rex, I can only pray that he loves me enough to give up this war for my life.
“Lana,” Slater calls my name and the soft tone of his voice has my head quickly rising to find a frown marring his face and sadness in his eyes. Glassy irises search mine, for what, I’m not sure. “Will you understand why? Recognize that Rex left us with no other option? And will you tolerate us and let past sins lie?”
Heaviness hits my chest as I realize Slater’s worried I’d come for revenge. Just as Rex has for the past five years. Would I? If he takes Rex from me, then he’s successfully destroyed my whole family. Yet knowing he might doesn’t fill my veins with rage, only grief that I have been unable to save my brother. I couldn’t save myself against my father when he was alive, but I’m determined to keep my big brother with me; to piece together what grief and rage have taken from me.
My stare bounces around the room from one person to the next. I’m trying to keep up with my thoughts and understand what I’m about to do. It’s then I notice Mack has moved closer to me—almost within touching distance—yet I feel no warmth from his skin on mine to comfort me.
Focusing back on Slater, I nod and a stray tear escapes. “I will understand and move on with my life. I would leave Louisville far behind.” My words come out strangled and I wipe at my face quickly.
Slater lifts his chin in thanks and goes to turn and leave, but I’m not finished.
“Wait.”
Slater turns back around, his eyes swirling with curiosity.
“Until that moment, I need to be with my brother. Separating us, you having me, it’s only going to send him further over the edge. Let me go home and I’ll talk to him. Really show him how far he’s gone, I’ll beg if need be. He’s already partly seen how bad it’s gotten with Della being hurt, give me the chance to push him a bit further, please.”
“We can’t.” It’s Mack who speaks this time. “If we send you back, Rex is going to laugh at us. They all will. We have to stay strong and act as if we will follow through with our threats. Otherwise, Rex is going to assume we’re weak and he will come for us sooner and less prepared. Then he’ll walk directly into his own death.”
“Mack’s right,” Pacer adds. “Rex isn’t going to give up this war because his sister begs him to. I’m sure you’ve already tried that anyway?” Pacer asks with a raised eyebrow, but I stay silent. The thickness in my throat doesn’t allow me to speak right now, to let them know that Rex has ignored my pleading over the past five years. “He’ll refuse you, and you’ll send him to us sooner, and we will be prepared. This way, he has a life he cherishes in his hands, he won’t take that so lightly… we hope,” Pacer finishes on a whisper.
Rex, choose the right path, please. I wish I had the confidence in my brother to know, without a doubt, he’d do whatever it took to save my life.
“Seven days, Lana,” Slater says gently. “Rex has seven days to save his own life.”
With Slater’s devastating words, they all walk out of the room. Mackson is last. I sense his hesitation, and for a split second, I consider begging him to stay, to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Instead, I stay silent and he gives me his back as he closes the bedroom door.
I walk to the window and stare out into the night sky, and with a jolt of hope shooting through my chest I decide to find a way to save my brother, even if I have to do it from afar.