Chapter Nine
Two months later.
Lana
Every inch of Mack’s fit, sweaty body is draped over mine. He slams into me. I moan as my back arches and my body squeezes and pulses around him. It doesn’t matter that Mack’s taken me every day for the past two months, the burn and sensation of Mackson King stretching me continues to feel as if every time is the first, the best.
The past couple of months I’ve felt like a well, a dried up abyss that’s being replenished with rain and each drop is better than the last.
“Shit,” Mack breathlessly whispers into my ear.
He cups my ass with both hands and lifts my bottom off the bed. I moan as he drives deeper, thrusting in and out at a deliciously punishing pace. He’s aggressive and dominant yet the soft, lengthy kisses he places along my jaw and neck speak of devotion as if he’s worshipping me.
“Fuck. I missed this. Your tight, hot pussy,” Mack growls out.
Clenching my eyes closed, a blaring white light floods my lids. It’s calling to me, promising me bliss. I bite down on Mack’s shoulder just as ecstasy crashes over me and a moan rips from my shaking body. Mack’s spine locks up and he growls low and deep right next to my ear, the vibrations of his masculine tone sends shivers all the way through me.
Mack releases my ass and wraps his arms around my waist, flipping us over until I’m resting against his chest. Sated, I melt into his embrace, feeling heat on my back from the early morning sunlight, breaking through Mack’s bedroom window.
“We’ll clean up in a second,” Mack says in a rough, exhausted voice as he gently tucks my head into his neck. “I want to feel your heartbeat against mine for a while.”
My heart races and also squeezes painfully, not only from Mack’s sweet words but from the pain in his tone as he said them.
The past months have been incredible. We’ve fallen back into the Lana and Mack we used to be. Except now, there’s no what-if’s, there’s only us, forever, but that doesn’t take away the five years of heartache we’ve already experienced.
I kiss Mack’s chest, over his heart and rest my head back on his shoulder as I close my eyes.
“I know you’re still hurting, so am I. But trust in us, Mack. We will break through the pain.”
Mack turns us to our sides and he lowers his body so his arms wrap around my middle and his head now rests against my chest.
I wrap my arms around his neck and snuggle into him.
Mack positions his face into my body and inhales deeply. He turns his head back to rest on me and says, “My Dove.”
“Always,” I reply.
***
Staring back at myself in the bathroom mirror, I skim my hands down my arms, feeling the soft material of the black, deep v, long sleeved t-shirt. My eyes then fall to my dark, ripped denim jeans. I sigh and cross my arms over my chest. Pressing my lips together, I wonder how many times I’m going to look into this mirror while wearing my new clothes and remember I brought them here because I can’t go home or haven’t had the guts to, yet.
Eight weeks.
Sixty days.
And too many broken moments to count.
The longest I’ve ever been away from my brother.
My sight blurs and I quickly straighten. Shaking out my hands, I regain control over my emotions. Being upset and angry does me no good. No matter how many tears I’ve shed my brother still hasn’t reached out to me.
Or is that asking too much of someone lost in a world of drugs?
My heart tells me yes, but my mind can’t fathom how any amount of drugs could pull my brother away from me. How they could be strong enough that he would let his little sister go.
My father was a drunk, a capable one. He went to work, paid bills and managed to have friendships with others at work and people on our street. He’d go to work, bring home a carton of beers and not one of those beers was left in the morning. He’d go to bed when the last beer was gone and not a second earlier. Then he’d get up no matter how little hours he’d slept and go to work and act like a normal person. As if he didn’t get drunk, scream slurs at his daughter all night until his son got home, and then they’d muck around and laugh until he passed out on the couch.
My brother would open my door every single night to check on me. Rex protected me from everyone, but our father. Boys at school weren’t allowed to disrespect me without payback from the Parkland Poison Boys, yet my father could call me every name under the sun and I know Rex knew what was going on when he wasn’t home because I told him, begged him to be home more often. He always shook it off and told me, ‘He’s our father. They’re only words, ignore him.’
He didn’t get it. He didn’t live it like I had to.
On the days my father was drunk beyond his usual, Rex and my father would get into an argument. Rex would tell him to stop taunting me, but it always ended the same, my father crying on the couch and Rex trying to console him while our father whined about how our mother tricked him. He’d warn Rex to be careful, he told him that love wasn’t real.
I never asked Rex if he believed what our dad had told him. I knew love existed, along with forgiveness and patience.
My head snaps up and my eyes watch through the mirror as my hands fist. Forgiveness. That’s all my father had to do, forgive my mother. Not even to her face, just inside himself, and my life could have been different.
My heart soars at the thought that I’m nothing like my father. I won’t hold on to the hurt. The only way to get through life is to let go and forgive. It doesn’t mean the person has to be in your life. It means your soul is able to heal and move on to the next open door.
“Other people’s sins don’t have to be your downfall.” I smile. Mackson told me that a long time ago. I didn’t get it then, but I do now.
Opening the door and walking out of the bathroom, I grin as the same deep laughter and loud chatter fills the Kings’ house. I walk to the railing and look down at the shiny wooden floorboards, which lead into the kitchen. I can’t help but soak up the love in this house. It’s never said or hinted at, but it’s here, everywhere. It’s how they all work together. It’s how they laugh with their inside jokes that make no sense to me whatsoever. It’s Mack putting the barbecue sauce out on the table even though he hates it, but knowing Pacer doesn’t eat a meal without it.
This house is either bustling with laughter, or peacefully and comfortingly quiet. It’s a home, not mine, but it’s a beautiful one nonetheless.
“Lana.” Mack calls.
“Yeah?”
“Breakfast is ready, get down here before there’s nothing left.”
“Yeah Lana, get down here before Mack gets blue balls because he hasn’t seen you for five seconds,” Kelso yells with a smart-ass laugh. “Ouch. Fuck. Mack, that fucking hurt.”
I burst out laughing. “Be right down!”
I get to the top stair on my way down and freeze as a family memory of my own decides to creep to the surface.
Slowly and sleepily I walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen. I worked the night shift at the bottle shop yesterday and didn’t finish until two a.m. this morning, so my eyes were barely open. I groaned as my stomach growled, again. I smelled bacon. That was the reason I’m awoke when I should have been sleeping. Well, that and the fact that I didn’t have lunch or dinner yesterday, so anything would have smelled amazing to my growling stomach at that moment.
I stepped into the kitchen and grumbled as I took my seat and lowered my head to the table and closed my eyes. “Give me everything you’ve got. My stomach demands food and a lot of it.”
I smiled when my brother chuckled. “Coming right up. Sure you’ll be able to sit up and see out through your sleep-closed eyes to eat anything at all?”
At the clang of plates being placed on the table, I lifted my head and stared at my brother. “My stomach says I must try.”
Rex scrunched his face up in fake disgust and grinned. “Worst bedhead of the year award goes to Lana Scavello.”
I pinned him with a death stare and replied, “Ha. Ha.” I pointed to my face and continued, “Few pieces of toilet paper there, brother. Does someone need some lessons on how to shave in a straight line?”
Rex burst out laughing. “Nah, just need to start buying a better brand of shavers, these ones are shit.” He shoved some eggs in his mouth while I started on my bacon. My body sighed in response to the delicious taste of meat and grease. “And you know I’m kidding Lana. You’ve got the Scavello genes, that means you’re beautiful all the time.” Rex winked and I smiled brightly, not only because I could count on one hand the nice compliments I’d received in the nineteen years I’d been alive, but also because Rex never missed an opportunity to talk up the Scavello name. That’s my brother, sweet, but still a dick.
I grip the staircase railing with both hands, squeezing it with all my strength. I will be strong. I’ll find a way to mend our relationship. I refuse to let my brother go without a fight.
With renewed determination, I continue downstairs and enter the chaos, which is the Kings’ kitchen at meal times. The counter is covered with plates of bacon, eggs, biscuits, gravy, and onions. I grab a little of everything and turn around to the dining table to find my normal seat next to Mack free. I sit as Mack is finishing his meal and wiping his face with a paper towel. He gives me a blinding smile and bends to kiss the side of my neck. Everyone and all the sounds around me ceases to exist as I indulge in his attention.
So much can change in such a short time. Two months ago we wouldn’t have wanted to sit at the same table, let alone been able to spend more than a minute in the same room together. I still remember the pain in my chest when Mack was near. Now it’s a different kind of pain, or maybe that isn’t the right word. I ache for Mack. I love him so deeply that I fear losing him on a level I never knew existed before. When I was younger, I thought losing him was inevitable. Every day Mack and I saw each other, slept together, I prepared myself a little more each time.
After all, I thought I was my mother. Self-centered and fated to hurt any man who dared to love me. Except, I’m not. I’m a good person. I’m strong, honest and I care about those I love. I’ve more than earned the love Mack and I have re-captured. And I’m not afraid Mack will walk away from me. He’s more than made me feel secure in our relationship.
No, I have this ache deep inside of me that comes with an everyday love. One where fears fester, and that I’ll wake up one unsuspecting day and all of sudden he’s gone. Taken from me by disease, car accident, shooting or simply falling down the stairs in his own home.
Two months may only be sixty days, however, the time between then and now, the moments Mack and I have spent together may as well have been forever. Because I’ve never felt more content, more loved, or more at home than I have in the past eight weeks. And I’m guessing like most people in love or those who have wonderful families, these fears will always be there, festering away just below the surface, underneath the heavy heart beats and bright smiles.
Sound begins to filter back into my world and slowly my focus becomes clear again. I’m looking at Mack and he’s grinning back at me as if he knows I just got lost, but he’s patiently waiting for me to come back to him. I give him a full smile.
Mack stands and takes his dishes to the sink. Staring at his back, my recent thoughts remind me of something. Mack has a whole other family out there. A blood family. People who probably think their little boy died a long time ago.
I’ve asked Mack if he’ll seek them out. If he thinks about them often. His response was; “I’m twenty-eight. I’ve no need for parents and I have enough brothers and sisters to look after as it is.” His demeanor is always calm and his response seems thought-out. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I’d want to see them, even if only from afar.
I look to my left. Della is sitting next to me staring at her breakfast, looking lost. She came home six weeks ago. On bed rest for four weeks and she’s been up and about for the last two weeks. Her bullet wounds have completely healed, except the scarring.
Four days after Della came home she almost pulled some stitches arguing with Slater.
Mack and I were walking up the front porch steps when we heard Della’s angry voice loud and clear.
“Where is he Slater?”
Mack opened the front door quickly. Most likely wanting to know why his brother and sister seemed to be in such a heated argument.
I’d been living with the Kings for just over two weeks and I’d never heard them fight like that before, not even little disagreements. Della had been home for four days, and each day I’d heard her ask all her brothers where Brett was. Their answers were all the same. “No idea.” But each day her tone had gotten angrier as if she knew they were hiding something.
“Della, quit yelling,” Slater growled. “You’re going to pull a damn stitch.”
“Then tell me where Brett is. He left my hospital room saying he’d be right back and then he never returned. He won’t call me back. He won’t text me. Something happened, and all of you…” Della turned her gaze to Piper, who stood close-by, and then to Pacer and Kelso sitting on the sofa, and then to me and Mack at the front door, “…or one of you…” her accusing eyes fell back on Slater, “…aren’t telling me something.”
Slater sighed. “He’s gone up north to see some friends and to get laid. He needed a break.”
Della’s body froze.
I peered up at Mack because even my heart broke for Della then. Anyone could see that Brett meant something to her.
“Jesus, Slater, harsh much,” Piper said with a ‘what the fuck’ look on her face. “Tell her the truth, she deserves to know. You can’t protect her from this. Della’s not going to give up as easily as you wish she would.”
Slater fisted his hands and tensed his whole body, veins began to rise all along his arms and neck. He released his fists and the tension left his body quickly. “Dell, Brett overheard everything that was said in the hospital bathroom the day Rex was there. He came at me pissed off, and accusing you of being the one who killed Jae. He didn’t seem concerned about you and what happened to you, only that neither of us had told him who really killed Jae.”
Della’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. Her eyes darted to me then quickly back to Slater. “He heard it all? And that’s all he cared about?”
My chest became tight as guilt slammed into me. I was so emotional that day, but I should have thought more carefully about what I was saying and where. A woman was raped, and there I was talking about it in a hospital bathroom. God. I felt terrible. That was not my secret to tell and then Brett found out, Della didn’t get to choose whether he knew about her or not.
I placed my hand in Mack’s and he glanced down at me. I stared up at him with tears in my eyes and pressed my lips together so I wouldn’t cry in front of his family, in a moment that was definitely not mine to take over.
Mack noticed. He took my hand and placed it around his waist and pulled me into him, kissing my forehead.
“That’s it,” Slater replied to Della.
Della turned her back on Slater and whispered softly, “He didn’t even care what happened to me.”
Piper took a step toward Della but she was too late. Della grabbed hold of the staircase railing and swung her body around and raced up the steps.
Slater started for the stairs, but Piper placed her hand on his chest. “Let me.”
Slater nodded and requested, “Check her stitches?”
“Yep, I will,” Piper replied and she gave Slater a quick kiss before heading up.
Slater cracked his neck left and right and then spun around to look at Mack and me, and also Pacer and Kelso, who were no longer sitting on the sofa but standing as if they too were going to go after their sister.
“That fucking bastard better not step foot in this house again. If he does, I’m gonna shove my fist so far down his fucking throat he’s going to choke on it,” Pacer growled.
Kelso nodded in agreement.
“No,” Slater stated firmly.
Both Pacer and Kelso glanced at Slater bewildered.
Mack let me go and took a step toward his brothers. “Slate, you saw Dell, she’s fallen for the fucker. He’s obviously been messing with her head. She’s not stupid, she thought they had something and he just took off after finding out what happened to her. No fucking way is he getting near her again.”
“Can’t do that, Mack. He’s already reported that Rex called him back, he’s arriving tomorrow. We still need him. I want someone on the inside with Rex for a while longer.” Slater shook his head and continued, “And there was something about him when he found out it was Della who killed Jae. He was cut that he didn’t know, but it was more than that like he was hurt that Dell didn’t tell him. Brett does love Della. Whether he wants to or not, he does, but he’s also messing with her and possibly all of us.”
Mack’s body relaxed and he stated, “So he’s in this for cash, he gets paid to pass on information. What’s it to him who killed who?”
Slater pointed his finger at Mack. “That’s just it. He’s never questioned anything else. Never worried him he was conspiring against a mafia member. Never worried him that he knew the guy who killed a mafia member. Only when that person was Della and I get that would worry him because he cares for her, but he was furious at the concept, not at Jae, but at Della and the situation.”
Slater cocked his head to the side and looked to me. “Lana, do you know anything about Brett? He hangs out at your house a lot, anything you can tell us?”
All the guys including Mack turned to me and waited for an answer. I thought back, trying to find something I could help them with to figure out Brett. But honestly, he was as good as a stranger to me.
“The best I can tell you about Brett is that he likes my cooking.”
Mack’s eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms over his chest.
Shrugging my shoulders I continued, “Most times the guys would eat out, but sometimes Rex would invite them in if there was enough to go around and Brett always accepted and had seconds if it was offered.”
Slater threw out his arms. “I don’t fucking know, but when he’s back I want all eyes on him. He’s not one of us, don’t forget that. If something else is going on we need to know, and then we’ll deal with him.”
I swallowed roughly because I knew what ‘deal with’ meant. For Brett’s sake, I hoped he wasn’t hiding anything.
Since then Brett had returned and all the guys had been watching him like a hawk.
Mack, of course, said that Brett wanted more than just my food, but he thinks that about everybody except his own brothers, so I just rolled my eyes and changed the subject.
Brett couldn’t have been less interested in me if he tried. My brother's other friends flirted with me all the time. However, I was lucky if I got a hello and goodbye from Brett.
The first few weeks that Brett was back, he and Della did a stellar and awkward job at ignoring each other. Slater kept reminding us all to ignore the tension.
Next the fights started. First Della yelling, then Brett storming out of the house and spinning his wheels all the way down the road. Then both of them shouting about how their friendship was fake and full of lies.
At one time we were all in the living room and everyone burst out laughing, because those two still wouldn’t admit that they were more than friends.
Again, Slater told us to ignore them. Males. Piper tried to tell him that this kind of tension was only leading in one direction and that was to sex. But Slater and his brothers refused to acknowledge their sister was falling for Brett, someone who might be hiding something dangerous. They wouldn’t believe their sister might fall for his act.
Yet Piper was right.
I caught them getting hot and heavy against the far wall in Della’s bedroom one afternoon a few weeks ago. I heard them arguing, again, and then silence. I thought Brett must have left so I went upstairs to check on Della, but instead, I got an eyeful of Brett’s bare bum. I closed the door as quickly and quietly as I could.
And then I did what any woman would do. I whisper-yelled to Piper, who was in the living room to come upstairs. I told her what I saw. She thought for a second and then asked me to rate Brett’s ass on a scale of one to ten. I said a nine.
The next second a gust of air flew by my face as the door was opened and then closed just as quickly.
Piper agreed he was a nine and we both pinkie promised never to tell our men what we just did. They already hated Brett enough.
Piper and I raced down to the garage and got the guys together and begged them to take us out for lunch. We got lucky because Kelso was leaving to go to TC’s sandwich shop to meet his new ‘thing’ for lunch. The guys were more than willing to take us when they heard that. They’ve wanted to meet this new girl, who’s held Kelso’s attention for longer than any other girl before.
Unfortunately, when we got back it wasn’t to a happy or satisfied new couple. It was to a devastated and brokenhearted Della.
Brett left that day and never came back.
The most Piper and I have been able to get out of Della is that she and Brett had explosive sex—her words—and afterward everything was great, they were both happy.
Della said they were downstairs getting some food afterward when Brett asked her to tell him about Jae. She did, assuming Brett already knew everything. However, Brett paled when she told him my father had raped her. Della said he quickly grew angry and headed for the front door. She tried to stop him, but he told her what happened between them was a mistake and she’s better off staying the hell away from him. After his harsh words, Della said she let him go and promised herself to never be that stupid and naïve again.
Her pact broke my heart because that’s what I promised myself five years ago. And Della can lie to herself all she likes, but her demeanor and sadness shows how much she cared for Brett.