CHAPTER TWENTY
Blake
I took another step closer to Kyle. Anger coursed through me and I wanted to hurt someone to ease the fear and anger I was feeling inside. No matter how angry I was with him and Curtis, nothing compared to the anger I directed at myself. If I’d taken more notice of the first set of negative emotions I’d felt from her, I might have been able to save her.
“What happened?” I asked through gritted teeth, trying to calm myself down.
Kyle looked at me and swallowed hard.
“Richard came here with a group of rogues,” he began to explain and I took a deep breath to keep from losing it.
Fuck Richard! I swore that if I ever saw him again I would end his life in the most painful way. I would make him suffer.
“Knowing there were traitors in her pack and not knowing how many there were, she made the decision to allow her pack to choose to stay with her or to go with Richard.”
I rubbed my forehead, trying to keep the pain in my heart from bringing me to my knees.
“When Richard showed up, every member of her pack made their choice.”
My eyes met Kyle’s.
“Most of them chose her,” he revealed, and I felt proud. She was a great alpha even though she doubted herself.
“Richard said he wouldn’t stop and he would find a way to take her pack,” he said. “I didn’t have a chance to do anything. She ordered two of her guards to hold me and then commanded the rest of her pack to do nothing.”
“What did she do?” I asked, already knowing the bleak outcome of her action.
“She made the decision to fight Richard to the death and whoever won would be the alpha,” he said softly.
Air locked in my lungs at the realization that she’d put herself into this situation. I had no idea what she’d been thinking, but it didn’t stop my anger for Kyle or Curtis. They should have done something to stop her. I knew logically Curtis couldn’t go against her order and Kyle was being restrained, but it didn’t matter. I’d trusted them with her wellbeing and now she was in surgery, fighting for her life.
“She killed Richard.”
I felt a moment of relief that Richard was dead, but it didn’t last long.
“She was so badly injured that Curtis had to rush her into surgery,” Kyle finished, his voice hoarse with emotion.
I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to make someone accountable for what happened to her, but the only person that was responsible for the condition she was in was already dead. I took a menacing step forward but Kyle didn’t move. He stood still, watching me with sad eyes.
“You should have done more,” I said in a deadly tone. Kyle held my gaze but he didn’t try and defend himself.
“Stop,” Scarlett commanded, but I was way past any reasoning.
I swung and my fist connected with his cheek. The momentum of my hit made his head fling back, but his feet stayed rooted to the same spot. I thought hitting him would make me feel better but it didn’t. It just made me feel worse.
“Stop it,” Scarlett screamed, and before I knew it she was standing between Kyle and me.
“Get out of my way,” I commanded her, intent on taking some more of my anger out on Kyle.
He was the only one who was there to take it out on. Curtis was in surgery with Keri so I couldn’t take it out on him.
“No,” she said defiantly, lifting her chin and fixing a determined look on me.
“Blake, you need to calm down,” Cade said from behind me as he put his hand on my shoulder.
I wanted to shake it off but he was my alpha and I had to obey him. I tightened my fist, trying to fight against the command Cade had given me, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t go against it. Defeated, I took a deep breath and released it.
“It wasn’t Kyle’s fault and you know it,” Cade reasoned when I turned to face him.
He was right, but it didn’t help the turmoil of emotions I was experiencing.
“She’ll be okay,” Cade assured me when I remained silent, trying to figure out how to deal with the overwhelming emotions I was feeling. I knew he was telling me that to calm me down but there was no way he could know that for sure.
Werewolves healed fast, so she must have been really badly injured to have to go into surgery and that meant there was a chance she wouldn’t make it. My whole world revolved around Keri now and without her it would end. Anger seeped out of me and all I felt was overwhelming fear that she was going to die.
I turned back to Kyle and Scarlett. She held Kyle’s hand in hers as they looked to me.
“How bad is she?” I asked softly, scared of the answer.
There was a moment of silence.
“Really…bad,” Kyle answered. His voice broke on the last word. I felt a pain in my chest that felt like my heart had been ripped from my body.
I rubbed my hands over my face as I tried to keep myself from falling to my knees. There didn’t seem to be a lot of hope, but I held on to what I could to keep myself together.
When I closed my eyes for a brief moment, I saw Keri’s smiling face. I traced every feature in her face, trying to imprint her face into my mind. When I opened my eyes, Kyle was still watching me with Scarlett standing beside him.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled to Kyle.
“I deserved it,” he softly admitted. “I should have done more. And if anything happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Scarlett looked from me to her brother and gave him a hug as she tried to console him.
I’d always been so jealous of Kyle and I hated when he was around Keri, but in that moment he was one of the few people who felt the same fear that I did and I didn’t feel so alone. Emotionally raw and tired, I sat down in a chair and leaned my head back against the wall, closing my eyes for a moment.
I heard movement in the chair beside me and I didn’t have to open my eyes to know it was Cade. He was my best friend and he’d been through everything with me and now he was giving me all the support he could. What was only a minute felt like an hour and I thought I was going to go crazy when I looked up to finally see Curtis walking toward us. He still had his medical scrubs on.
I stood up, frantically searching his face for any slight indication of what had happened, but his face was like stone. For one of the first times in my life I felt true fear. Fear that the person that I was supposed to spend forever with was gone.
“Keri?” I managed to whisper as Kyle stood beside me, anxiously looking at Curtis.
“She survived surgery, but I’m not sure if she’s going to make it,” he admitted as he let out an emotional breath. He looked like he was already grieving and I felt like someone had pulled out the rug from underneath my feet. I felt something brush my shoulder and Cade was standing on the other side of me.
“He doesn’t think she is going to make it,” I repeated, feeling like I was in nightmare that I was struggling to wake up from.
“She’s strong, she’ll make it,” Cade assured me despite what Curtis had just said.
“Where is she?” I asked. I need to be able to see her and touch her.
“They’re putting her into a room now,” Curtis said, nodding his head in the direction just behind him. Two nurses were coming out of a room.
I rushed past the nurses to the room. I stopped for a moment in the doorway and the sight of her lying still in the hospital bed stopped my heart for a beat.
She looked so fragile, like she was sleeping, but all the machines and tubes that surrounded her told another heart-wrenching story. I took a tentative step into the room. Beside her, I reached for her hand and the moment my fingers touched her skin I felt our bond join us together. Calmness settled over me, easing the emotions that had been tearing me apart.
I bent down and kissed her on the cheek.
Wake up, baby, I said to her through the mind-link. Please. But no matter how much I willed it, she never moved or opened her eyes. I pulled up a chair beside her bed and held her hand. My only consolation was the feel of our bond when I touched her hand.
The door opening made me look up to see Kyle standing in the doorway with his eyes glued to the form of Keri.
“She looks so peaceful,” he murmured, entering the room.
I looked back to my mate. He was right, she looked like she was peacefully sleeping. If it weren’t for all the medical equipment around her, you would think she was going to wake up soon. I pressed her hand to my lips and gave her a gentle kiss. Seeing her like this was breaking my heart. I’d never felt so much overwhelming pain.
Kyle walked to the other side of the hospital bed and reached for Keri’s hand. Usually I’d be so possessive of Keri I would tear into him, but I saw my sadness mirrored in his eyes. He needed to be with her just like I did. As angry as I’d been with him, I knew that he did everything he could have to save her.
He was probably feeling worse because he’d witnessed it all. I hadn’t. I couldn’t even imagine what it would have felt like to witness every injury without being able to do anything to stop it.
He looked at me. It was like he was asking for permission so I gave him a nod. He needed this as much as I did. He pulled up a chair and sat down. The two of us sat watching over her as we both contemplated what our lives were going to be like if she didn’t make it.
I lost track of time as I watched her chest rise and fall with every breath. Curtis had been in and out, checking on her vitals. Make no mistake, he was feeling the same as we were, but he was trying to keep busy to deal with it. My stomach rumbled but I ignored it. I didn’t want to leave her. Kyle was still sitting on the other side with his head in his hands.
Scarlett entered the room and I looked up at her.
“You need to see this,” she said to me.
I looked back to Keri and brushed her face. I didn’t want to leave her, but the look Scarlett gave me told me she wouldn’t leave until I came to look at whatever it was. I leaned closer and kissed her gently. I found a little solace in the feel of connection with Keri.
Standing up, I gave Kyle a nod before I followed behind Scarlett. I had no idea where we were going. I just followed Scarlett out of the front of the medical center and came to a sudden stop.
Every member of Keri’s pack was gathered outside, all looking anxious and nervous. I felt my heart burst with pride at the fact that her pack was so worried about her.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Scarlett said under her breath as she stood beside me.
It warmed my heart that they cared for her. She’d fought hard for them and the fact that they were here waiting to hear if she was going to pull through said that she meant a lot to them. I scanned the crowd of anxious faces before I turned to go back. I didn’t go back to Keri; instead, I hunted Curtis down.
“Make sure you update the pack members waiting outside,” I told him. He gave me a confused look.
Clearly he hadn’t been outside.
“Go look outside,” I told him before I walked away.
Keri was lying exactly the same way she had before I left. I couldn’t help feeling a little despondent. I would have given anything to see her wake up and smile at me. There was no comprehending that all the memories I had of Keri would be the only ones I would ever have. Scarlett entered the room behind me.
“You need to go and get something to eat,” she said to me, but I shook my head.
“She’s being taken care of and I’ll sit with her,” she assured me. I glanced at her. She was right; I needed to eat.
Scarlett looked at her brother.
“You, too,” she told her brother but, like me, he was reluctant to leave Keri.
Scarlett put her hands on her hips as she surveyed the two of us.
“Cade and I’ll stay with her while you guys go and get something to eat.”
It wasn’t a suggestion, it was an order. Kyle looked at me and I shrugged. When Scarlett made up her mind there was no changing it. I knew there was no fighting her on this.
As Kyle stood up, Cade appeared behind Scarlett. She’d probably called him through their mind-link.
“We’ll be back soon,” I assured them as Kyle followed me out of the hospital room, leaving Cade and Scarlett to watch over Keri.
I hurried so I wouldn’t be gone for long. I had something to eat and I had a quick shower before I went back to be with Keri. No matter how hard I tried to deal with my emotions of fear and loss, there was no fixing the ache in my chest. It was like a constant pain that wouldn’t go away.
Just as I approached the door to Keri’s hospital room, I heard a sound. It sounded like someone was crying softly. I wasn’t even sure if I’d heard correctly but as I got to the doorway of the room, I could see Scarlett. She was alone as she sat beside the bed and held Keri’s hand in hers. She hadn’t seen me and I watched for a moment as she brushed tears from her face.
I’d never seen Scarlett break down like this and it took me by surprise. I knew that they had been friends before Victor and Keri’s deceit had gotten in the way. Keri also didn’t make it easy for anyone to get close to her. I knew it was her way of protecting herself and honestly who could blame her after everything she’d endured.
I walked in quietly and put a reassuring hand on Scarlett’s shoulder. She looked up at me, her eyes full of tears as she bit her lip.
“She’s going to be okay,” I assured her. I wanted to believe that she was going to pull through this.
“I hope so,” she replied softly, wiping her tears away. I pulled her to her feet and hugged her. There were so many of us who loved and cared for Keri. She couldn’t die on us. We needed her.
“Um,” I heard Cade say from behind me, and I released Scarlett. There was a warning in his gaze. Cade was really possessive over Scarlett—friend or not, he didn’t like anyone else touching her.
Scarlett looked to her mate and he stepped forward. He took her face in his hands and brushed the remaining tears away with his thumbs.
“She will pull through,” he told her, trying to ease her fear, and he wrapped his arms around her.
Watching the two of them together made the pain in my chest worsen. There was nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to hold Keri in my arms like I watched Cade hold Scarlett. I turned back to Keri and took a deep breath as I pulled up the chair and sat down.
Holding her hand in mine gave me a moment of peace. Scarlett left with Cade and I was left alone with my mate. I wasn’t sure if she could hear me but I wanted to tell her how much we needed her to come back to us, to me.
“Hi, baby,” I started and cleared my throat as my eyes scanned her face. I wanted her to say something back but there was nothing.
“I’m angry that you fought Richard… but, as an alpha, I understand and… I would have done the same. You have always been so guarded and careful not to let anyone close so they wouldn’t be able to hurt you,” I began to say. “But you have no idea how many hearts you’ve crept into and how many people you’ve affected.”
I paused for a moment.
“I love you, so much. But there are so many people who are scared you won’t wake up, baby.” I swallowed hard, trying to contain my own emotion. “You had a hard and lonely life but you’ll never be alone again. Your entire pack is waiting outside the medical center. They need you to wake up. I need you to wake up.”