Chapter 13
Chris
“You’re staring again.”
I gave Nikolas a sideways look before directing my gaze at the dance floor.
“Half the males in this place are staring,” I growled. “Could that dress be any smaller?”
Beth’s dress – if you could call it that – was a short, strappy, burgundy creation with an open back and a neckline deep enough to reveal the smooth swells of her breasts. The fabric was gathered at one side of her waist, and it looked like a good tug would unwrap her like a present.
“It’s no smaller than what any other woman here is wearing,” Nikolas pointed out unhelpfully.
“I don’t care about other women.” I waved a hand at the three girls dancing together. “Sara’s not wearing a dress.”
Nikolas’s eyes practically devoured his mate, who was dressed in skinny pants and a black sequined tank.
“Sara doesn’t own a dress,” he said with satisfaction.
I’d never been jealous of my best friend until that moment. Sara had her share of admirers, but her outfit left a lot more to the imagination.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like Beth in the dress. She had a gorgeous body, and I’d nearly forgotten how to speak when she’d walked out of her bedroom earlier wearing that thing. My first thought had been, She’s all mine, and my chest had nearly burst with pure male satisfaction and pride.
That had lasted until we’d entered the club and I saw the male heads turn and the naked lust in their eyes. I didn’t care that none of these males would ever touch her. I knew what they were thinking, and it made me want to take off my shirt and cover her with it. I wanted to stand by her and growl at any male who dared to even look at my mate.
The tempo of the music increased, and Beth and Jordan raised their arms over their heads. Beth’s hem rose a few inches, and I choked on my saliva.
Nikolas slapped me hard on the back and forced me to turn around to face the bar we’d been leaning against.
“You’re two seconds away from doing something that will embarrass her and won’t end well for you.” He waved at the bartender. “What you need is a stiff drink.”
I wrung my head in my hands. “This is killing me. How did you survive it for so long?”
“A few months of pain was nothing compared to the thought of a lifetime without Sara,” he replied quietly. “I’d do it all again for her.”
When he said it like that, it put everything into perspective. What I felt for Beth went beyond a physical attraction or the influence of the bond we shared. I’d loved that girl almost since the day I met her. My feelings for her had changed and grown over the years, but the roots of that love went deeper than any I’d ever known. I couldn’t imagine a future without her by my side.
If I thought it would help my case with her, I’d declare my love for her right now. But Beth was skittish and afraid of her feelings for me. I’d seen it in her eyes when she realized she’d sought me out in my bed. She was wary of letting me in because of her fear of being hurt again. As much as I wanted to lay my heart open to her, I was afraid of driving her away.
I lifted my head to meet his serious gaze. “Beth is worth it, too.”
“I know.”
The bartender laid two glasses of Scotch in front of us. Nikolas picked up his and raised it to me. “Drink up. You’re going to need it.”
We downed the contents of our glasses and called for a refill. After the third one, we slowed and talked about work. Or Nikolas talked and I did my best not to turn around and see what Beth was doing.
“We’re delaying our trip to New York until the Lilin threat is over,” he said, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. “Tristan agrees that now is not the best time to take resources from here to start a new command center.”
“New York has gone this long without one. They can last a little longer.”
He nodded and drained his glass. I knew it was bothering him that Sara wouldn’t leave Los Angeles, even if she was stronger than the Lilin. It was built into our DNA to be protective of our mates no matter how capable they were of defending themselves. I was going to worry about Beth’s safety every second until the Lilin was dead or gone from here.
Sara came up behind Nikolas and slipped her arms around his waist. “Hey, handsome. Want to dance?”
He set his glass on the bar and turned to take her in his arms. I watched unabashedly as they kissed like they were the only two people in the room. Someday, it would be like this for Beth and me. I just needed to be patient and keep whittling down her defenses.
I looked at the dance floor, but there was no sign of Beth or Jordan. I could sense Beth, so I knew she wasn’t that far away. Still, I didn’t like not being able to see her, and I scanned the crowd for a glimpse of her.
Being taller than the average male and having enhanced vision came in handy at times like this. I caught sight of Jordan first, leaving the restroom on the other side of the club. I let out a breath when I saw Beth exit a few seconds later.
My eyes narrowed when they were intercepted by a tall man with blond hair. His back was to me, but Beth’s and Jordan’s smiles told me they knew him. Jealousy flared in me as I watched the man move closer to Beth, who didn’t seem to mind his nearness. She’d been in Los Angeles for weeks before I got here, and I had no clue whether or not she’d seen anyone during that time. Was this man someone she’d dated?
I had no right to be jealous of anyone she’d been with before me because I’d had my share of lovers in the past. But the thought of another male touching her made my Mori growl and my jaw clench.
The man gestured toward the smaller bar on that side of the room, and Beth smiled and shook her head. They talked for another minute before she pointed in our direction.
He nodded. Then he reached out and took her hand, lifting it to his mouth.
Mine.
Something dark and primal surged in me, and my vision tunneled on the lips brushing against the back of Beth’s hand. I heard the sound of breaking glass, but my attention was riveted on Beth.
The man released her hand, and she smiled again before she and Jordan walked away from him.
“Feeling a little rage there, my friend?” asked a voice laced with laughter.
I looked over at Nikolas and followed his gaze to the crushed glass in my hand and the Scotch-soaked patch on the front of my shirt.
“Here.”
Sara passed me some cocktail napkins, and I wrapped what was left of the glass in them. I used more napkins to press to the cuts on my hand.
She reached for my hand. “Let me see.”
I waved her off. “They’re shallow. They’ll be gone in no time.”
I watched Beth weave through the crowd. She walked up to us, and her eyes immediately dropped to my hand.
“What happened?”
The concern in her voice warmed me until I could no longer feel the tiny pricks of pain from my cuts.
“Nothing. Minor accident.”
I pulled the napkin away from my hand, pleased to see the small cuts were already closing. Stuffing the napkin in my pants pocket, I took Beth’s hand in my uninjured one.
“It’s my turn to dance with you.”
Heat flared briefly in her eyes, and I wondered if she was remembering our dance at Blue Nyx. I hadn’t forgotten a second of it, and I had every intention of getting just as close to her tonight.
The DJ must have read my mind because the music changed to a slower tempo as I led Beth to the dance floor. I tugged her gently to me until our bodies touched, and I heard her soft intake of breath when I ran my hands down her arms and lifted them, placing them around my neck. I put my hands on her hips and locked my gaze with hers as we moved with the music.
“Are…you having fun?” she asked a little breathlessly.
“I am now. I was disappointed we didn’t have our dinner, but this more than makes up for it.”
She gave me a coy smile, and it took an enormous effort not to kiss her. I cast about for something to say that would keep me from thinking about her soft lips.
“Jordan was right earlier when she said you have wicked aim with a knife. You also have great reflexes. That was a perfect kill shot tonight.”
I felt her body relax as she beamed at me.
“Thanks.”
“I haven’t seen you sparring yet, but Nikolas tells me you’re one of the best young warriors he’s seen in hand-to-hand.”
Her lips parted in surprise, and she flushed with pleasure. “He said that?”
“Yes, and he doesn’t throw out compliments often.”
She bit her bottom lip as if she was trying to contain her excitement. “I’ve learned a lot from him since I came here, although I’m not brave enough to spar with him yet.”
I laughed. “Few people are.”
“You are.”
“I’m a sucker for punishment.”
“No,” she said earnestly. “You’re an amazing fighter.”
Pleasure rippled through me. I’d been complimented many times on my fighting, but hearing it from her made my chest swell.
“Everything you taught me helped me excel in training. I finished at the top of my class.”
I smiled, and she averted her eyes. It was the first time she’d spoken about the past without anger. It felt like we’d moved past an important hurdle and she was one step closer to forgiving me.
“We can start practicing together again if you want to. Mason, too,” I added quickly before she balked, thinking it was an excuse to spend time with her. It was, but I also wanted to teach her everything I knew. As a warrior, she was going to face dangers no matter how much I hated it. The best way I knew to keep her safe and my sanity intact was to make sure she was prepared for anything.
Her gaze met mine again. “Okay.”
“Good. We’ll start tomorrow…if you’re up for it.”
Her eyes narrowed at my challenge, and I saw the competitive spirit that had put her at the head of her class. I held back a grin. This was going to be fun.
Talk of training had put her at ease, and she relaxed in my arms. When someone nudged her from behind, pushing her closer to me, she didn’t stiffen and pull away like she would have a few days ago. I could have stayed there with her like that all night.
The music switched to a faster song and I reluctantly released Beth, but I didn’t let her leave the dance floor. Jordan joined us, and Sara even managed to drag Nikolas out onto the floor. Beth spent more time dancing with the other girls than with me, but I didn’t mind. She was having fun, and I loved watching her lithe body move with the music. I was already anticipating the next slow song when I could hold her against me again.
Four songs later, Beth declared she needed water and we headed for the bar. As soon as we left the crowded dance floor, I heard someone calling my name. I turned to see an attractive blonde woman, who squealed and launched herself into my arms.
“Chris! It is you,” she gushed, hugging me tightly. “I can’t believe it.”
“Hey,” I said, acutely aware of Beth, who stood beside me looking on.
The woman stepped back, smiling, and I suddenly remembered where I knew her from. A pit opened in my gut as my past collided head-on with my present.
“What are the odds of running into you here?” she said. “And wow, you haven’t changed a bit. How long has it been?”
She snapped her fingers before I could reply. “Four years.”
“That long?” I asked lamely, feeling like a deer in headlights.
“Oh, yeah.” Her smile turned sultry. “Best July Fourth weekend ever.”
Beth’s gasp was almost inaudible, but there was no mistaking the faint wave of pain that flowed into me through our bond. I reached for her hand, but she jerked it away from me. I caught the wounded look in her eyes before she spun and disappeared into the crowd.
“Excuse me,” I said to the woman as I turned to go after Beth.
I caught up to her outside the restrooms. “Beth, wait.”
“Don’t touch me.” She shrugged off the hand I laid on her shoulder as if it repulsed her and went into the ladies room.
“Fuck.”
I paced outside the restroom, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. God, the timing for that little reunion could not have been worse. Things had been going so well, better than I’d hoped, and this was going to undo all the progress we’d made tonight. Worse than that, Beth was hurting and it was my fault.
Beth
Stupid! I’m so stupid.
I swiped angrily at the tear that trailed down my cheek, ignoring the curious glances from the three other women in the restroom. What were they staring at anyway? I wasn’t the first girl to cry over a man who didn’t deserve her tears, and I wouldn’t be the last.
My chest tightened painfully as my mind replayed the beautiful blonde woman in Chris’s arms, the recognition in his eyes, the way she’d smiled and looked at him with the familiarity of a former lover.
Best July Fourth weekend ever.
A fresh wave of tears threatened as old heartaches pushed their way to the surface. In the mirror, I saw the sixteen-year-old me who had been crushed by the same man I’d unwittingly let back into my heart.
One of the women grabbed several tissues from a box on the vanity and carried them over to me. She was my height with inky black hair, dark skin, and the face and body of a runway model.
“He’s not worth it.”
I sniffled and blotted away the wetness on my face. “How do you know?”
Her smile was understanding as she met my eyes in the mirror. “Honey, any man who would make you cry when you look that gorgeous is not good enough for you.”
“Amen,” said a petite redhead as she retouched her lipstick. “Too many great guys out there to waste your time crying over one.”
The door opened, and Sara entered the restroom, her eyes immediately finding me. Her brow furrowed in concern as she walked over to me.
“What happened? Chris looks miserable, and you’re in here crying. I thought you two were having a great time together.”
“We were.”
“So, what went wrong? Did he say something to upset you?”
No, he said all the right things. And I fell for them.
I wiped away a few smears of mascara below my eyes and straightened to face her. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have here in front of an audience.
“Can we talk about it later? I just want to get out of here.”
“Sure.” She glanced at the closed door. “He’s outside, waiting for you.”
I knew exactly where Chris was, thanks to the bond between us, the bond I should have broken days ago if I hadn’t been so weak. God, I was such a fool.
Steeling myself, I went to the door and opened it. The first person I saw was Chris, standing a few feet away, his expression one of worry. And guilt.
“Beth,” he said as I walked up to him.
“I can’t do this,” I managed to say as my throat tightened, almost cutting off my air. I moved to go around him, and he took my wrist in a loose grip.
“Let’s talk about this,” he pleaded softly. “We’ll go home and –”
I pulled out of his grasp. “There’s nothing to talk about. Please, just leave me alone.”
Sara spoke to Chris as I walked away, but I was too focused on putting distance between us to hear what she said. I thought about looking for Jordan to tell her I was leaving and abandoned the idea when my gaze landed on the woman from Chris’s past. Pain flared in my chest again, and something ugly burned in my stomach at the knowledge of exactly what she had been to him.
I wasn’t stupid or naïve. I knew a man like Chris didn’t live like a monk and that he’d probably had a lot of lovers. It wasn’t something I liked to think about, so I tried to never let my mind go there. But coming face-to-face with an ex-lover of his had almost gutted me.
“Beth, are you okay?”
I stopped outside the main exit and turned to look at Adam, who approached me with concern etched on his face. Jordan and I had run into him in the club earlier, but I hadn’t seen him since. Or maybe I’d been too caught up in Chris’s spell to notice anyone else.
I forced a smile. “Yes. I’m just a little tired.”
“Wes went to get the car. Can we give you a ride home?”
“I’m good, thank you.”
I appreciated his chivalry, but I also knew he was interested in more than friendship. I didn’t want to send him any false messages. Not to mention what could happen if I arrived at the house in the company of another male. For the moment, I was still bonded to Chris, and bonded males were possessive and volatile. I would not drag Adam into that.
Adam frowned. “At least, let me get you a taxi.”
I nodded gratefully, and he hailed one of the many cabs cruising the street for fares. He opened the back door for me, and I thanked him as I got in. At the light I looked back, but Adam had already gone. In his place stood Chris. I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel the weight of his stare even after we rounded the corner and he disappeared from sight.
When I could no longer sense him, I sank back against the seat with a ragged sigh. It was a brief reprieve because he wouldn’t be far behind me. I thought about telling the driver to take me to a hotel instead of the house because I felt too fragile inside to deal with anything else tonight. But if Chris went home and I wasn’t there, he’d freak and everyone would worry.
I beat everyone else home, and I was dressed in jeans and a comfortable sweater by the time I felt Chris arrive. I stood in the living room and waited, knowing he’d come directly to me. The door opened, and he entered, closing it behind him before he faced me. In his eyes, I saw pain and regret, but also determination.
He entered the living room, but something in my expression must have warned him against coming too close. Stopping a few feet away, he held up his hands.
“Let me explain, please. That woman –”
“I know all I need to know about her. I know you had a life before this and that you didn’t spend it alone.” My voice cracked, making me sound younger, which fueled my anger. “I don’t care about your love life or who you share your bed with.”
His eyes narrowed. “The only woman I’ll share my bed with is you.”
The possessive gleam in his eyes sent a rush of heat through me. But it was only my body reacting to the bond, nothing more. I needed to remember that if I was going to come out of this with my heart intact.
I crossed my arms and stood my ground, determined to say my piece and get this over with.
“Do you know where I was four years ago, on July Fourth?” I asked with as much coldness as I could muster. “I was sitting in my bedroom, waiting for you because you never missed a holiday. I figured it had been a month since my birthday, so that whole thing would be forgotten and you’d show up like nothing had happened.”
“Beth –”
“But you never came, not then, not ever. I cried myself to sleep that night, hating myself for telling you how I felt and for driving you away. And all that time, you were with some woman whose name you probably can’t even remember. But she was obviously more important to you than I was.” My voice broke on the last few words, but I got them out.
Chris’s eyes filled with anguish. “I’m so sorry, Dove. I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing not going back.”
“You were wrong,” I said hoarsely.
“I know.” He took a step toward me. “I swear I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
My heart felt like it was breaking for the second time.
“In a way, I’m glad we ran into that woman. It reminded me how much you can hurt me. I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”
He went still. “What are you saying?”
My Mori howled and pressed forward, trying to take control and stop me from doing what it read in my thoughts. I never should have let it go on this long, never should have let my Mori get close to his. I never should have allowed myself to fall for him again.
“I…”
I choked. I knew the words I needed to say, but I couldn’t form them. It was like hands were squeezing my lungs and making it impossible to draw a breath.
A sob welled in my chest, working its way up my throat, and I put a hand over my mouth to keep it in. I spun away from Chris, trying to pull myself together. I would do this. I had to.
Hands gripped my shoulders, turning me and crushing me against his hard chest. I tried to pull away, but he refused to release me as he buried his face in my hair.
“Don’t,” he said harshly. “Don’t say it.”
The desperation in his voice was my undoing, and the last of my composure crumpled. Years of hurt and abandonment spilled forth in a torrent of tears that soaked his shirt and left me feeling achy and hollow.
When I could stand on my own again, I pushed away from Chris. His arms fell slowly to his sides, and he stood there quietly, waiting for me to say something. I avoided his gaze as I summoned the energy to speak.
“I need to be alone.”
“You’re upset. Let’s just talk,” he said gently.
“I need space.” I took a breath and met his eyes. “From you.”
Pain flickered in his eyes. It wasn’t my intent to hurt him, but I didn’t know what else to say. I hadn’t been able to break the bond, and I needed to figure out what that meant. One thing I knew was I couldn’t think straight with him around.
“Please.” I hugged my waist trying to hold back the emotions that threatened to burst from me again. “Please, go.”
He raised a hand and let it fall. Then he turned away and did what I’d asked.