Chapter 14

 

Beth

 

When the tall iron gates of Longstone came into view, I felt the tears I’d warded off all day burn the back of my throat. I lifted my visor to greet the warriors manning the gate, but I didn’t stop to talk. I’d ridden all day to get here, and there was only one person I wanted to see.

I’d left Los Angeles long before dawn, stopping once for gas and food and to finally return Mason’s frantic voice mails and texts. He’d had a minor freak out when he read the note I’d left for him on our fridge, and he’d wanted to know why I’d left without him. He would have gladly come with me.

I’d explained to him that I needed to do this alone and promised I’d text him as soon as I got home. Immediately after I parked my bike near the main garages, I sent off a text to tell him I’d arrived safely. His response came less than a minute later.

About time. I’ll let everyone know.

By everyone, I knew he meant Chris, who had called and left texts for me, too. I’d asked Mason to let him know I was going home and to tell him to please not come after me.

I’d gotten about five hours from Los Angeles when I’d surfaced from my misery long enough to realize what my leaving would do to Chris. Last night, I’d tried to break the bond, and today I’d taken off without a word. He had to think I was running with no intention of going back.

Am I?

I’d been asking myself that question ever since I rode away from the command center, and I was no closer to the answer now than I was then. Mostly because it hurt too much to think about what would happen if I walked away from Chris forever.

Tell him, I started to type. I deleted it and sent a simple Thanks.

Grabbing my small duffle, I walked across the compound to the residential area. Unlike military strongholds, Longstone was laid out more like a small town with actual houses, a school, and even a park. There were a lot more families here, too, which meant more children of all ages. I recognized many of them as I passed by, and they all called greetings to me. I waved and smiled, but continued on without stopping.

In no time, I stood outside the pretty little house I’d grown up in. It felt like I hadn’t seen this place in years, although in reality, it had only been a month. Maybe it just seemed that way because so much had happened since Mason and I had set out from here to see the world.

I opened the door and went inside, setting my bag down in the living room. I hadn’t told Rachel I was coming home, but when I’d talked to her a few days ago, she’d said she was just back from a job in Portland and would be here for the next two weeks.

“Rachel,” I called in a voice that cracked from pent-up emotion.

She hurried out of her bedroom, her eyes wide. “Beth? You didn’t tell me you were –”

Taking one look at my face, she ran to me. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” I whispered before the dam broke and I began to cry.

She gathered me in her arms, and I buried my face against her shoulder like I used to do when I was younger. The last time I’d cried like this in her arms was the day Chris left Longstone without saying goodbye. I’d thought my heart was going to break in two that day, but that pain had nothing on what I felt this time.

Rachel held me while I cried, rubbing my back soothingly like moms do. When I started hiccupping, she led me over to sit on the couch and waited until I found my voice again.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked softly.

“I don’t know where to start.”

A few days after Chris had shown up in Los Angeles, I’d called Rachel and told her. I’d assured her I was okay with it and that he wouldn’t be there long anyway. She’d been satisfied with that, and she hadn’t pressed for more information about him. How did I tell her now that Chris and I had been bonded for almost two weeks and this was the first she would hear of it?

She tenderly brushed my hair back over my shoulder. “Is it Chris?”

“Why do you ask that?”

“In all the years I’ve known you, you’ve only cried like this for one person.”

I wrapped my arms around my waist as a fresh wave of pain hit me.

“It hurts so much. I can’t make it stop.”

“Oh, sweetie. What happened?”

It was several minutes before I could answer her. I took a breath and met her worried eyes.

“We bonded.”

“What?”

The word came out almost as a shout as Rachel gaped at me with wide disbelieving eyes. I was pretty sure that was the last thing she’d expected me to say.

Her mouth worked for a few seconds before she managed to speak again.

“Last night? Is that why you left Los Angeles?”

I bent my head so I didn’t have to see her face. “Two weeks ago.”

“I…don’t understand,” she stammered. “You never said anything.”

“I didn’t know what to say. I think I was in shock at first, and then…” I swallowed hard. “I was going to break it, but Chris said he didn’t want to. I was so confused, and before I knew it, I fell for him again.”

My throat closed up, and I took a few breaths to compose myself. Rachel didn’t speak as she waited for me to continue.

“I was starting to think I could get past what happened before, but last night…we had a big fight, and I knew it was over.” I told her what had happened at the club and after. By the time I got it all out, my words were coming between broken sobs. “But when I tried to break the bond, I couldn’t. And I don’t know what to do.”

Rachel’s arms came around me, and I curled into her as she stroked my hair.

“Is that why you left Los Angeles – to break the bond?”

“No. I was so upset, and all I could think of was coming home to you.” I let out a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I wish you had, but I understand how overwhelming this must be for you. Bonding is emotional enough without him being someone you were once so close to.”

“Why did it have to be him?” I wailed against her chest.

She heaved a sigh. “It was always going to be him.”

I went still. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe if I’d ever bonded, I would have seen the signs. Looking back now, it’s so obvious. There was a special connection between you and Chris from the moment he brought you home. You were already attached to him, and he went out of his way to help you settle in here.”

“He saved my life, and I was traumatized,” I said, sniffling.

“It was more than that, and I can’t believe I didn’t see it. Chris has always been overly protective of you, and he couldn’t stand to see you upset. Any time he thought he might be late coming home, he called me to give me a heads-up just in case. Beatrice used to joke about how Chris could never remember birthdays, but not once did he forget yours.

“You were happiest when he was around, and I wasn’t surprised when you developed a crush on him. I thought it would pass, and it wasn’t until after he left that I saw you were in love with him. No one is that devastated from a crush. I think your Mori was mourning, too, because it already knew Chris was your mate.”

I lifted my head to give her a disbelieving look. “You think Chris knew all along?”

“No, but I think his Mori might have.”

“Then why did he leave?” I asked angrily. “Why did he hurt me like that if he cared so much for me?”

“He wasn’t trying to hurt you. He was doing what he always did – protecting you.”

I let out a harsh laugh. “Protecting me from what?”

“Look at it through his eyes. You were sixteen and still a child compared to him. He couldn’t return your feelings, and he felt his presence would cause you more pain than his absence.”

“He told you that?”

“No, but I talked to him before he left, and he was beating himself up for making you cry. He called me every week for the first few months to see how you were.”

Shock rippled through me. “He called?”

“Yes. He was waiting for you to get over your crush before he came home again.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of the things Rachel was telling me. I knew she’d gone to see Chris that day, but not once had she mentioned being in contact with him afterward. All this time, I’d thought he’d left and forgotten me.

“But he didn’t come back,” I argued. “He never even called me.”

“I don’t know why he stayed away and didn’t call you. Those are questions only he can answer. But I do know he cared about you very much.”

I wiped the wetness from my cheeks. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Doesn’t it? You love him.”

I didn’t deny it. In San Francisco, I’d felt something shift inside me when he’d kissed me on the boat and again when I’d woken up in his arms the next day. I’d started to wonder if there really could be something between us. It was why I’d agreed to go to dinner with him, and why I’d felt so comfortable dancing with him at the club.

When I couldn’t break the bond, I’d thought it was because I was weak. But as the hours passed during my ride here, the growing ache in my heart told me the real reason we were still bonded. I was in love with him.

“Sometimes, love isn’t enough,” I said hoarsely.

Rachel squeezed my hand. “And sometimes, all you need is a little time and space to put things into better perspective. And your mother.”

I rested my head against her shoulder. “I’ll always need you.”

We sat like that for a while before Rachel stood and smiled down at me.

“I’m going to make dinner, and then we’ll have a nice quiet evening, just the two of us.”

“I’d like that.”

I carried my bag into my old bedroom to shower and change after the long day on the road. Standing in the door to my bathroom, toweling my hair dry, I couldn’t help but think about all the laughter and tears this room had seen. The best years of my life had been spent here, and every picture and object held a memory for me.

I tossed the towel in the hamper and opened the closet door. At the back of my closet were three large plastic storage containers that held almost every gift Chris had given me over the years. I hadn’t opened these containers in years, except to add the things he’d sent me after he left. I didn’t know if seeing what was in the containers would help or hinder me, but I felt a sudden urge to look in them now.

Grabbing the top container, I carried it over and set it on the floor by the bed. I sat on the rug, pried off the lid, and immediately lost myself in the past.

This box was from my younger years, so it was full of mostly toys and plush animals. Among the contents, I found a delicate china doll, a ragged stuffed bear I’d slept with for years, a tiny bow and a quiver of arrows, and a wooden sword with a real leather sheath.

A small smile curved my mouth as I remembered how excited I’d been to get the sword on my ninth birthday and how Chris had spent hours engaging in mock duels with me. I’d practiced every day for a month so I could show him how good I was on his next visit. Rachel had finally ordered me to take the sword outside and to stop hitting the furniture. It was a good thing the blade was dull, or I would have sliced up everything in sight.

At the bottom of the box, I found a thick photo album, and I hesitated before I lifted it out. I knew it was full of pictures of Chris and me. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have ended up in this container.

I opened the album to the first page, and I was filled with memories of my first Christmas at Longstone, six months after Chris had found me. The first few photos were of me opening gifts, my face flushed with excitement. Turning the page, I saw a picture of Chris and me in front of the tree. My head barely reached his waist, and I had my little arms wrapped around his leg as I grinned up at him. He was smiling back, and it was easy to see the affection we’d had for each other.

Could Rachel be right? Had Chris and I been drawn to each other because our Mori somehow knew we were mates? Was it even possible for a young Mori to sense a potential mate?

With those questions at the front of my mind, I flipped through the whole album, reliving the memories associated with each photo. One thing I couldn’t dispute was that whatever his reason for leaving, Chris had loved me once. The proof was in every picture of the two of us together. But was that enough to forgive him and let go of all the hurt I’d carried with me for years?

I lay back on the floor, hugging the photo album to my chest. My heart still felt like it was in a vise, but I had no tears left to cry, at least for today.

I was still there when Rachel appeared in the doorway thirty minutes later. She took in the photo album in my hands and the things spread out around me and gave me a small smile.

“I made chicken fajitas. Do you want me to bring you some?”

“No. I want us to eat together.”

I sat up and laid the photo album on the bed. I hadn’t come all this way to hide in my room.

She held out a hand to me. I took it, and she pulled me to my feet.

“Come on.” Still holding my hand, she led me from the room. “You know my fajitas always make you feel better.”

“I think it’s going to take more than that this time.”

“What if I told you I have your favorite dessert in the fridge?”

“Cheesecake?” I asked hopefully.

“Call it mother’s intuition, but I had the sudden urge to make New York-style cheesecake this morning.”

I pulled my hand from hers so I could give her a hug. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. Now let’s go eat a cheesecake.”

I laughed for the first time in what felt like days and followed her to the kitchen.

 

Chris

 

The vampire grinned, showing off his snakelike fangs, as we circled each other in the lobby of the abandoned apartment building. Off to one side, two more of his brethren cheered him on like boys at a street fight. Fools had no clue they were taking their last breaths.

I struck, and the vampire darted away, alive but sporting a nasty gash across his chest. He shrieked and spun back to me, his smile gone.

“When I’m through with –”

His threat ended abruptly as my sword sliced through his neck. Before his head hit the floor, I was on the next one, thrusting my blade through his heart. The third one ran, but I took him down with a knife to the back. He was writhing on the dirty carpet when I strode over to finish him off.

I surveyed the room as I wiped my blades clean on their clothes. Usually, killing three vampires in less than two minutes would fill me with satisfaction, but it would take a lot more than that to lighten my mood.

It had been three days since Beth left, and with each hour that passed, it was getting harder to not get on my bike and go after her. I knew she was at Longstone and that the worst move I could make was to follow her, but being away from her like this was tearing me apart inside.

All I could see when I closed my eyes was the pain on her face when she’d asked me to leave the other night. I didn’t know what had stopped her from breaking the bond, and I was afraid she would be able to do it after she spent time away from me. Every time I thought of that possibility, it felt like a knife was twisting in my chest. I’d spent most of the last three days working and doing anything I could to keep me from thinking about it.

“Took out two. All clear up here.”

Nikolas’s voice came through my comm, pulling me from my thoughts and reminding me I was supposed to be sweeping the bottom floor. I was the one who had suggested he and I be the ones to clean out the abandoned apartment building after we’d gotten word some vampires were squatting here. Normally, we’d send a team for a job like this, but I’d needed the distraction.

The barest whisper of a shoe against carpet alerted me to the fact I was not alone. I spun to the left and felt the sharp sting of claws across the back of my neck.

The vampire flew past and whirled to face me, her face contorted with rage as she looked down at the bodies around us. She was faster than the three I’d killed, and she’d almost gotten the drop on me. I couldn’t remember the last time a vampire had been able to sneak up on me like that. This thing with Beth wasn’t just driving me insane. It was making me sloppy.

“Friends of yours?” I taunted.

Two things I’d learned about vampires was that they had short tempers and tended to act rashly when they were angry.

“Bastard,” she screeched and lunged at me.

I was in no mood to play around. I hit fast, slicing deep across her thigh. My second strike went straight through her chest. She let out a strangled gasp as her body sank to the floor.

“Chris?” Nikolas said through the comm.

“Four down. Continuing my sweep.”

By the time I finished checking the four apartments on this floor, Nikolas was in the lobby, calling for a cleanup team.

“Not a bad night’s work,” he said as I walked up to him.

“No. Though part of me wishes these were Incubi instead of vampires.”

There had been no sign of the Lilin or his sons since the attack on Adele’s nightclub, and the lack of activity worried me. A Lilin didn’t give up on his quest to procreate.

If one good thing had come from Beth leaving, it was that she was at Longstone and far from the Lilin. I’d suffer her absence if it meant she stayed safe while we hunted the demon.

Nikolas and I walked outside to wait for the cleanup team. His phone buzzed with a text, and his smile told me it was from Sara. She hadn’t been happy we’d left her behind tonight. She understood it had nothing to do with her abilities, but she still didn’t like it.

“She still angry texting?”

He chuckled. “She said she’s going to zap us both if either of us gets hurt.”

I laughed, but my good humor was fleeting. My thoughts went to Beth for the hundredth time today, and I wondered if she and I would ever have what Nikolas and Sara had. Or had I hurt her too much to move past all of this?

“How are you holding up?” Nikolas asked.

“I don’t know what’s harder – being away from her or not knowing what she’s going to do.”

“Still no word from her?”

“No.” I leaned wearily against the side of the building. “She’s been in touch with Mason, but no word on when she’s coming back.”

He nodded sympathetically. If anyone knew what it was like to be separated from their mate, it was him.

“I know this is not what you want to hear, but give her time.”

“You’re right. I don’t want to hear it.”

I’d give Beth all the time in the world. I just couldn’t bear this silence and not being able to feel her nearby.

A white van and an SUV pulled up outside the building. We gave them a rundown on what they’d find inside before we walked to our bikes, which we’d parked down the street.

“You heading back to the house?” I asked Nikolas as he picked up his helmet.

“You’re not?”

I straddled my bike. “It’s still early. I think I’ll patrol for a few hours.”

Nikolas didn’t hesitate as he pulled out his phone and sent off a text. I gave him a questioning look, and he smiled.

“I told Sara we were patrolling together so she doesn’t wait up.”

“Okay then. Let’s ride.”