“This was a horrible idea. A stupid, ridiculous, horrible idea that you got us into. Why did I listen to you?”

“Me? How is this my fault?”

I look pointedly down at his crotch, and he guffaws.

“Oh, yes. Blame him. Makes sense.”

“I thought so. If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t be he… aggghhh!”

“Breathe, baby, breathe. You got this.” Andy is by my side in a flash, crooning words of encouragement into my ear.

“She’s trying to kill me, Andy. I know it. There’s no other explanation. Bri was never this mean,” I scream/grunt/groan through another contraction as I squeeze Andy’s hand.

“So, now you think it’s a girl?” he teases, trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, please,” I grumble, annoyed.

“You’re the strongest woman I know, sweetheart. And I’m so proud of you. You’re doing so amazing.”

“Whatever. Tomorrow we’re going to force a watermelon out of your pee hole and see how it works out for you.”

“Gee, I think I’ll pass, but thank you for the sweet offer.”

I relax between contractions, wishing like hell I had come in earlier and not tried to be tough and labor at home for so long.

“Andy. I think I need a do over on today. And don’t you dare say I told you so, but I think you may be right — I should have come to the hospital earlier. This no drugs thing is bullshit.”

“There’s literally nothing in the world you could threaten me with that would get me to admit I was right.”

“Why did you let me stay home for so long?”

“I’m not answering that either.”

“Aghhhh! Andy!” I pull him close as another contraction hits.

I may have underestimated how quickly I would move through labor. I mean, it was nineteen years ago the last time I went through this. Nineteen! I figured my body wouldn’t be jumping back on the labor bandwagon. Not to mention that I’m old as the hills.

I stayed at home, minding my own business, fighting through the pain of each contraction, not really paying attention to how quickly they were coming. My water hadn’t even broken yet! No worries. Andy, the caged animal that he was, pacing around the house, finally stepped in, demanding I let him bring me to the hospital.

Once we were settled in the pickup, I called to let them know I was coming, and they asked me how far apart the contractions were, to which I moaned, considering a contraction hit at just that moment.

“Okay, is there any chance your husband can maybe get you here a little… quicker?” the kind nurse asked.

“Uhhhh,” I groaned, looking over at Andy. He was sweating, breathing heavily, and leaning over the steering wheel cursing like a mad man at anyone who got in his way.

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” I assured the nurse, who then told me they’d have someone waiting for me by the ER to escort me back to OB.

“Oh, that’s not necess… aggghhhh!”

“Let’s just pretend that you need him to make him feel useful, shall we?”

“Yeah, okay. Maybe that’s good.”

“Let’s also maybe have your husband step on it? Unless he’s in the mood to deliver your baby in the car?”

She was clearly not the most reassuring person to have on the other end of the line while I was freaking out and trying to keep Andy calm.

We came sliding into the ER parking lot, Andy slamming the pickup into park before it fully came to a stop, causing it to rock back and forth. He ran around to my side, opened the door, and helped me out.

When we got to the ER entrance, there was an orderly waiting for us with a wheel chair.

“Mrs. Simpson?”

“That’s me. I got this, though. No need for the wheel chair.”

And then I peed on the floor. Well, not pee. My water broke, gushing all over the floor beneath me.

The orderly looked down at the pool of fluids, up to me, back down, and up again.

“Humor me?” He tried for a smile. Didn’t work.

“Fine. But I can totally walk on my own.”

“We know you can, baby, but let the man do his job. I’m sure he lives for this. Pushing cranky pregnant ladies through the halls.”

“Dude. Did you just…” the orderly said just as I finished his thought.

“Did you just call me cranky?”

“Nope.”

“I’m gonna kick Carly’s ass. Like she better watch her back,” I growl.

“She knows boxing moves.” Andy raises his eyebrows at me, looking thoroughly amused by my current state of miserable and dying.

I wave him off. “It doesn’t matter. She’s not gonna know what hit her when I get to her. Do yoga, she said. It will help with the labor, she said. It will help you move things along, she said. She’s such a bitch.”

Andy laughs loudly. Carly is the furthest thing from a bitch, but right now I kind of hate her for getting me healthy during my pregnancy, thus causing this baby to come so quickly that I got to the hospital at nine centimeters dilated, thus no drugs! No happy juice. No blissfully pushing a baby out my vagina and not feeling a thing.

“Knock, knock,” a sweet voice calls out.

“Well, speak of the devil!” I yell.

Carly’s face appears in the doorway, her wide smile dies almost immediately when she sees me.

“Oh, shit. What happened to you?”

“Seriously?” I screech, pointing to my stomach.

“But...”

“We got here, and she was at a nine,” Andy answers her unasked question.

“Already?”

Oh, now it’s her turn to screech.

“Wow, yoga actually works,” she mumbles.

“Helpful!”

“Sorry! But… wow. I didn’t realize it would actually help THAT much!”

“Come here, Carly. I wanna tell you something.” I crook my finger at her, but she’s shaking her head, stepping behind Andy.

“I’ll just…” She starts making her way out the door, pointing behind her.

“No! Don’t!” Andy shouts, obviously not wanting to be left alone with me and my grouchiness.

Another contraction hits, and I fold over. “Aghhhh! Holy hell! I think my insides just split into a million pieces. Check, Andy. Make sure that nothing just fell out.”

“Okay, yeah. I think I’ll just… get Bri. Or… someone, anyone else. Good luck!” Carly babbles.

“Traitor!” Andy hollers at her, as she bolts out the door like the hounds of hell are chasing her. And I’m pretty sure the luck she was wishing was to Andy rather than me.

“Make it stop. There’s so much pressure. So. Much.”

“I’ll call the nurse. Maybe it’s time?” he asks, rushing toward the door.

He opens the door, peeks his head out, and in a moment of his own panic yells, “Someone get your ass in here! Now! I think she’s ready!”

He walks back in, calm as ever, like he didn’t just scream into the hallway.

“Someone will be right in, baby.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “We’re almost to the end, I’m sure of it.”

“Mm hmm. You know this because…”

“Because I can’t take anymore, and if she’s not gonna come out on her own now I’m going in after her.”

“Let’s take a look, shall we?” Dr. Matthews’s voice cuts in.

“Yeah! Let’s do that!” My voice is sunshine and rainbows.

“Oh, you’re nice to him?”

I shoot Andy a dirty look.

His eyebrows kiss his hairline.

“Feeling a bit uncomfortable, are we?”

“A bit, yes.”

“I was asking your wife, Andy.”

“Oh,” he says sheepishly.

“I’m great! Just ready to get this show on the road!” I say in my most pleasant voice, not wanting to anger the guy who will be staring at my most private area for the next however long. I’m thinking ten minutes, tops. I’ve been doing this labor thing for long enough now.

Dr. Matthews chuckles. “Right.” He pulls on a pair of gloves and takes a seat while the nurse who walked in with him comes to my side, directing Andy to hold the leg she’s not holding. She looks like she’s about my age, in fact, I think it’s one of Grady’s friends’ moms. Blake maybe? I can’t be sure.

“You’re doing amazing, Christine. Seriously.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“I promise.” She smiles.

“Blake’s mom, right?”

“Yup! Lisa.”

“Right. I knew you looked fam… aghhh! Holy mother! This can’t be… nor… gahhh!”

“Breathe, honey. Breathe. You’re doing great.” Lisa pats a damp washcloth on my forehead while Andy leans in close, allowing me to grip his hand with hulk-like strength.

“Good, Christine. Nice breathing. I’m going to check you now, see how we’re coming along.”

He presses one hand to my inner thigh and the other, well, he just gets all close and personal. “Little bit of pressure here,” he says in warning.

“Mm hmm.” I grit my teeth as Andy brushes the hair from my forehead, kissing me on the temple.

“Christine? Andy? You ready? You’re at ten centimeters.”

“Thank God. Get her out,” Andy growls, his forehead resting against the place he just kissed.

Beside me, Lisa giggles, and I roll my eyes.

“It’s been a little while since you’ve done this, Christine, but nothing has changed. Remember to breathe through the contractions like you’ve been doing, bear down, curl your body into a C. Lisa and Andy will help hold your legs, and things will go smoothly.”

“Smooth. Right.”

“We got this. She’s coming, and you’re amazing and beautiful and I love you more than I ever thought possible and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look sexier than you are in this moment, your eyes are blazing and skin flushed, you’re determined and sweaty and…”

“Now’s not the time, Andy!”

“Right. Okay, yeah. Doc? Just… don’t… I mean… please don’t hurt her. Either of them.”

“I’ll do my best, Andy. I promise.” Dr. Matthews throws me a wink, but I don’t have time to even smile my thanks for his calming words because another contraction hits, and this one is stronger than any of the others.

“Aghhhhhhhhh! Andy!”

“Okay, Christine. You need to push.”

“No shit?”

I curl my body like I learned in my Lamaze classes. It had been so long since either of us went through this that we decided to go to the classes again. And I’m glad I did. I had blissfully forgotten so many things about childbirth.

Lisa starts counting to ten, and I suck in a breath before pushing for what feels like a hundred counts, blowing out a deep breath when I’m finished, collapsing back onto the bed.

“Good. Good. You’re doing really well, Christine.”

Lisa is right there with a damp washcloth, dabbing my forehead. Andy lifts our hands to his lips and kisses the back of mine softly, his eyes never straying from me.

“You made some progress. You’re doing great,” Dr. Matthews says, shifting on his seat by my feet.

I barely have time to relax before another contraction hits, and soon I’m pushing with everything I have in me.

I curse.

I push.

I scream.

I push.

I curse.

A lot of cursing.

I push.

A lot of pushing.

A lot of screaming.

An hour. An entire freaking hour goes by before the doctor looks up at me with worry in his eyes. “Okay, the baby isn’t shifting. The shoulder keeps getting stuck on your pelvic bone. Right now, baby is doing fine, but we need to get things moving along. I need you to bear down with everything you have on your next contraction or I’m going to have to go in.”

“Go in?”

“Yes. We can’t have either of you going into distress.”

“No.”

“No?” he asks me.

“No,” I answer with conviction. I try to sit up a little taller, even though it doesn’t really work with my feet in the stirrups and their hands wrapped around my legs, which only causes me to almost take out my poor doctor by nearly whacking him in the side of the head. “No. I can do this.”

“Christine…” Andy looks like he’s about ready to throw up.

“I said, no. If she starts going into distress, I won’t fight you, but I promise you, I can do this. And I will.”

“Two more pushes,” he says, his brown eyes lighter than normal, looking up at me from his position on the stool. “Then I’m going to have to go in.”

I nod my head as another contraction threatens to rip me in two.

Lisa grips my hand and pulls my leg up, Andy following her.

“Christine, you can do this. Push, girl. Push. I know it hurts. I know you feel like your body is going to break, but you’re the strongest woman I know,” Lisa’s reassuring words cheer me on.

I look at Andy, and he nods, encouragingly. “We got this.” It’s been his motto since he suspected we were pregnant and he’s said it countless times since then.

“Yeah. Okay,” I grunt out as the contraction peaks.

I close my eyes tightly and push, resisting the urge to use any of my energy in making the noises I really want.

When I don’t think I can take another second, Andy’s left arm wraps around my back, lifting me up farther off the bed, his right arm still holding up my leg.

“Keep going, Christine. You got this! You’re so strong. So incredible. Come on, baby.”

He’s chanting every encouraging thing he can think of. Tears are streaming down my face as the last of the contraction hits, and Dr. Matthews announces that her head is out.

“Lots of dark hair. Peek around, Daddy,” Lisa says after getting a look.

Andy stares at me for a moment before shifting to the end of the bed.

“Oh, my gosh. She’s here, baby. One more push. Come on. You can do it.”

He’s back by my side just as another swell hits, causing me to rise up and push with everything in me.

“Last one, Christine. This is it. Just one more big push and you’re done,” Dr. Matthews says, his voice calm.

And then…

The most beautiful sound in the world.

The tiniest of cries fills the small hospital room.

And then…

“Congratulations, you two. You have a daughter. Do you want to do the honors, Daddy?”

I collapse onto the bed and watch as Andy reaches around, taking the scissors from Dr. Matthews’s outstretched hands before cutting the cord that tied our daughter to me for nine months. I watch in awe as Dr. Matthews places our baby on my chest after quickly wiping her off. I place my hand on her back and Andy bends down to kiss her head. Tears spring to my eyes when Andy looks at me with glassy eyes of his own.

“She’s the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen,” he says, a sound of complete wonderment in his voice.

Andy lifts Hazel from my arms so the nurse can finish everything she needs to. She takes measurements and pictures, bundling her in a blanket after cleaning her up a bit more, all while Andy hovers over her, watching. I wince as Dr. Matthews finishes everything up, pushing on my stomach and stitching me up.

Once Lisa is finished, she hands her to Andy, the sight of him holding her close making my heart swell.

My smile is watery as I hold my arms up for him to bring her to me. He bends down, kisses her on the forehead, then walks over to me, kissing me on the cheek and laying her against my chest at the same time.

“Thank you for this gift. I love you. More than I ever thought possible.”

“I love you, too, Andy.”

My eyes drift down to our baby girl, her dewy wrinkly skin, mess of dark hair, eyes unfocused as they gaze up at me. Her soft mewling sounds and jerky movements tugging at my heart.

“Do we have a name?” Lisa asks.

“Hazel Brielle Simpson,” Andy tells the nurse, not looking away from either me or our daughter, the palm of his hand covering the back of Hazel’s head.

We had discussed middle names, but Brielle wasn’t one of them. Andy chose both the first and middle name for our baby girl. Most women would be upset. Me? I’m ecstatic. I wouldn’t have picked a better name.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” She smiles at us.

And before I know it, it’s the three of us. Andy has taken approximately twelve hundred pictures on his phone. Kissed both of us at least as many times, and we’ve both shed countless tears.

“I’m going to get the kids, okay? Are you ready for them?”

I nod my head, another wave of emotion hitting me, and he kisses me once more before walking out the door.

When he returns, the boys and Bri are following him.

Bri already has tears streaming down her face, and the boys’ eyes haven’t left their new little sister.

“Oh, my gosh, she’s beautiful,” Bri says, rushing to my side.

“Kids, I’d like you to meet Hazel Brielle.”

Bri gasps then hiccups through a cry, picking up her baby sister from where she was resting on my chest, cradling her close.

“She’s… Mom…” Bri tries to speak but becomes too emotional, cuddling her baby sister close, kissing her cheeks, smelling her hair, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Reece and Aidan are standing near, leaning over to get a closer look.

Aidan sniffles, and Bri leans her head against his. “She’s so tiny,” he muses, lifting the back of his finger to her cheek. “I can’t believe how…” He chokes on his words, causing Bri and me to both let out a sob. He turns to me, carefully leaning over and hugging me.

“Thank you. I didn’t know I wanted a sister so bad.”

I wrap my arms around him and kiss the top of his head. “I love you, kiddo.”

“Love you too, Mama.”

He and Reece both started calling me Mama shortly after we got married. It slipped out from Aidan first, his face flamed red, and tears immediately sprang to my eyes. I asked him why he was blushing, and he shyly asked if it was okay that they call me Mama. I told them they could call me whatever they were comfortable with, and I love that they chose the name Mama. It’s something unique for just me.

“Can I hold her?” Reece asks.

“No,” Bri teases, making us both laugh as she cuddles Hazel closer before handing her over.

For the next thirty minutes, our new family of six coos and awws and gushes over the perfection that is Hazel before she begins getting fussy. The nurse interrupts, letting us know that we need to try to feed her, so Bri offers to take the boys for supper.

“I don’t know if I can hold them back much longer, so as soon as you’re done with the first feed, are you open to visitors?”

I don’t even have to ask who she’s trying to hold back.

Andy chuckles. “Yeah, you can send the nosey bunch in when she’s done here.”

“Do you remember how to do this, Christine?” Lisa asks.

“I think so, but…” I position Hazel, and after a few failed attempts, she latches on. She sighs contently while Andy watches in admiration. Lisa leaves the room, letting us know that she’ll leave us alone and be back to check on our progress.

As soon as the door clicks shut, Andy lifts his eyes to me, a sparkle twinkling. “I know this is not the most appropriate time, but I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my life. Seeing you with our daughter… holy shit, Christine. It does things for me. It’s going to be a really long six weeks, you know that?”

I wince as a laugh bubbles up, trying to stay still so Hazel doesn’t lose her hold on me.

He kisses me on the lips then on the forehead. With Bri spending time with the boys, Hazel in my arms and Andy next to me, I finally feel like home.

* * *

I already knew my wife was strong. I already knew she was beautiful and incredible and amazing and determined and just… so much more than I ever could have hoped for.

I finally admitted what I’ve been thinking ever since she went into labor, and what do I get in return? Christine’s laughter.

“Oh, my gosh. Only you, Andy.”

“What? I can’t help it! You should see you right now!”

“If watching another woman nurse her baby turns me on then I think we have a problem.”

I give her a sly grin, knowing that she’ll get hers soon enough. “Oh, just wait, baby. Just wait.”

“Whatever. You think I don’t already know you’re gonna be the hottest Daddy ever?”

I grin, not being able to help it.

The fact that Christine still thinks I’m hot, in her words, makes me feel like I could conquer the world.

She finishes nursing and presses the button to call the nurse, who comes in just a few moments later.

“Everything go okay?” Lisa asks, smiling as she walks in, placing her hand under the hand sanitizer contraption by the door and rubbing her hands together.

“It did. She drank herself to sleep.”

I snicker, the words Like mother like daughter on the tip of my tongue, remembering Margarita Madness, and she shoots daggers in my direction.

Too bad a smirk followed so closely behind, along with an eye roll.

“Seriously, guys. She’s one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen. And I’m not just saying that.”

No way am I denying that. Hazel is gorgeous. And I’m afraid I’ll never have ownership of my balls for the rest of my life, knowing that she and her mom now securely hold them in the palm of their hands.

“Are you ready? They’re getting incredibly restless out there.” She makes an eek expression with her mouth, and we both laughed lowly.

“Five more minutes,” I tell Lisa, and she nods her head before quietly leaving.

“I love you.” I kiss Christine on the forehead then lean over to Hazel. “And I love you, baby girl.” I lift her from Christine’s arms and cuddle her tightly to my chest.

I walk to the window, giving Hazel her first view of the world.

“My promise to you, Hazel. I’m going to do my best to slay your dragons, to watch you soar, and pick you up when you fall. I’ll be by your side helping you to achieve your dreams and will hold you when you need held. I’ll never leave you, sweet girl.”

I breathe in her sweet scent and brace myself when I hear the door open, knowing our private moment is about to be shattered.

“About time that warden let us in. Holding me back from my niece,” James says. I turn to see him rubbing his hands together much the same way Lisa did when she entered.

He holds his hands out to me, somehow stiff arming all three girls in the process, and lifts Hazel out of my arms.

His hand cradles the back of her head, and he brings his face down to hers. “Hi, Hazel. I’m your uncle James. The cool one. Don’t let any of these clowns tell you different.”

“You’re so full of it,” Barrett mumbles, and Tess giggles.

I watch as our friends pass Hazel around, each of them falling in love with her as quickly as I did. And as Bri and the boys tumble back into the room, all I can think is, I’ve never felt so at home as I do in this moment.